Sparty bros to pay $20,000 to see my Michigan degree
My twitter feed has been spicy since Monday. Buckeye and Sparty are trying to tweet through it.
One particularly brave Sparty bro (@CogitoMSU) has been in my mentions a concerning number of times. He/She is broken. And now his poor ass is gonna be broke broke, along with his equally stupid pal @AshlonJefrey. They said they'll pay $10,000 each to see my Michigan diploma. I'll donate every penny to charity. Let's see how these internet tough guys stack up when the chips are on the table.
January 11th, 2024 at 2:04 PM ^
I think it's less academics and more popularity. 'Why do so many people care about Michigan and why do so many people go to their games? Why doesn't anyone love MSU?! It must be because these are all Walmart Wolverine bandwagoneers and not because my school's sports stink'
January 11th, 2024 at 11:51 AM ^
The complaint about non-UM grads rooting for UM?
My hunch is that those who complain seek to deny broad popularity, in order to reinforce their sneer that UM grads are elitist snobs.
January 11th, 2024 at 12:19 PM ^
They're insanely jealous of the size of our fan base. Spartys are always proclaiming that "at least our fans attended our school"!
And once upon a time, prior to Dantonio, I would root for MSU in the bowl games. My sister and three brother-in-laws are spartys. But after the Dantonio shit, never again under any circumstance. I never boasted about the team, ever criticized sparty in their presence. And then when MSU started beating us, the brother-in-law, who is not a sports fan of any sort, starts giving me shit. What a classless butthead!
I found it particularly amusing that I know a Wayne State grad (married to my brother-in-law's cousin) that was a Sparty fan and have seen him wear a sparty sweatshirt in my presence!
I've been waiting for me to encounter some butt-hurt sparty directing that fan statement to me so that I can put them in their place!
Now, I fear it will never happen!
January 11th, 2024 at 3:07 PM ^
You mean these two guys, I think they spent all their disposable income on tanning salon visits....
January 11th, 2024 at 10:24 AM ^
They will claim it's fake. 0% chance they pay.
This is such a strange obsession Sparty has with Michigan fans and degrees. Who cares if someone rooting for a school got a degree there? And if you are that concerned with it, are you not admitting it's quite the accomplishment?
January 11th, 2024 at 10:43 AM ^
Right? If you have to be associated with a team, how does the NFL have any fans?
January 11th, 2024 at 11:30 AM ^
If you can't get into college, go to State!
January 11th, 2024 at 12:48 PM ^
As a non-attending Michigan fan I’ve never understood this. Why? I mean one it’s silly because I know plenty of MSU fans that didn’t go there (and that’s fine!). Two, I went to a college in a town of 7,000 people. There were two older gents that lived in town that made it a point to tie their socializing to every single sporting event at the school. If they were both free on the day of any sporting event, they both went, sat in the same spots and were great fans. So beloved, the school paper did an article on them at one point despite the fact they had never attended the college. I never thought for one second that those two guys should have been chastised for their support but that’s effectively the argument from sparty fans since it happens with Michigan on a larger scale. I’ll never get it.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:24 AM ^
Apparently I need to get on X, as I teacher I could use $20K.
January 11th, 2024 at 3:58 PM ^
A-fucking-men. How do I get in on this? I have two degrees from UofM and my wife has 3!
January 11th, 2024 at 10:24 AM ^
Due is Read Your Guard? I never connected the dots!
January 11th, 2024 at 10:59 AM ^
Or is it Ready Our Guard?
January 11th, 2024 at 11:05 AM ^
Or is it Ready Your Guard but shortened by character limits??
January 11th, 2024 at 11:31 AM ^
#NewHeightShow
January 11th, 2024 at 11:54 AM ^
Pronounced, “Ready RGard” he’s dog whistling (primate whistling?) RGard.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:26 AM ^
Haha—didn't realize you were Due#—I followed you before Xitter nuked my account. I've got another account and I'll have to re-follow.
I agree with the others, though—you'll never get a nickel from these doofuses, even if you post video of your professors and coaches vouching for you.
I do have a question: does the phrase "read your guard" mean "look at what the OG is doing" for your initial clue as to what the play is going to be? Makes sense for an OLB...
January 11th, 2024 at 10:40 AM ^
When I was in HS playing LB we were taught to “read your guard” which meant read the outside hip the guard
Simplifies thinking, or rather, makes it so you don’t have to think and can just react
OG doesn’t pull, fill my gap. OG pulls, fill the first gap past the center. OG backs up, drop back into pass coverage
January 11th, 2024 at 10:28 AM ^
Why would they care if you had a Michigan degree? Are you not allowed to be a fan if you didn't graduate from that school?
January 11th, 2024 at 10:34 AM ^
Sparty: a fanbase that constantly claims we are arrogant and pretentious YET gatekeeps who is allowed to be a fan of college sports.
January 11th, 2024 at 11:07 AM ^
...and never criticizes msu fans who didn't go there (not that there are very many since they'll take almost anyone, but those people do exist).
January 11th, 2024 at 10:49 AM ^
they are utterly obsessed with "Walmart Wolverines" because they all know some Michigan fans who just root for the team because they're from Michigan, and assume that this is a reflection of most of the Michigan fanbase, despite the fact that we graduate 40000 kids every four years and have the largest most active alumni base in the country...
January 11th, 2024 at 11:04 AM ^
No one in Maryland or Wisconsin or Minnesota or Ohio is ever like, "You like the big the state school with the major athletics? You suck!" There's only one big school in those states.
This is pure jealousy that non-alumni gravitated to Michigan rather than Michigan State. It's the Little Brother inferiority complex that drives this. But it's not like they reject their non-alumni fans.
Do MSU fans who are non-alumni care if there are non-alumni who are UM fans?
January 11th, 2024 at 11:51 AM ^
Never mind that a majority of college football fans never attended a four year college. That doesn't make them lesser of a fan. It just makes Alumni that use it as some kind of classist attack look even more like a s**tbag.
January 11th, 2024 at 11:48 AM ^
That is all they have to try and get the upper hand in their minds. They think they're better because they have more fans that went there (nevermind they have plenty across the state that didnt). "Wait until basketball season is their other go to.
I had to laugh, while walking back to my truck from the game in East Lansing this past year a group of 3-4 younger Michigan fans get into it with a same sized group of Sparty fans going the other way, and the first couple things that come from the Sparty group is "Where did you go to school?!" and "Wait until basketball season!".
I was like...the internet fans are exactly the same in real life!
January 11th, 2024 at 10:28 AM ^
I love your vids/analysis the morning after games, Due!
January 11th, 2024 at 10:30 AM ^
You just need to give them your bank account numbers and they'll send the money, right? Are they Nigerian princes?
January 11th, 2024 at 10:50 AM ^
Princesses.
January 11th, 2024 at 12:08 PM ^
Or he could just direct them to the charity of his choosing . . .
January 11th, 2024 at 10:32 AM ^
you need an escrow agent, a third party to hold the money and the diploma with specific directions to that agent to not release either until both have been provided.
get an attorney to do that. maybe even a title company, though it's a bit off their normal beaten path.
otherwise it's silliness and i suggest simply enjoy your taunting of the mental midgets.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:42 AM ^
XM, I came to make the same comment, but figured I would search for 'escrow' first. Good advice here.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:32 AM ^
you need an escrow agent, a third party to hold the money and the diploma with specific directions to that agent to not release either until both have been provided.
get an attorney to do that. maybe even a title company, though it's a bit off their normal beaten path.
otherwise it's silliness and i suggest simply enjoy your taunting of the mental midgets.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:33 AM ^
Unfortunately, they're paying you in Mel Tucker NFTs.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:38 AM ^
Mel Tucker NFT = an STD you get from talking to him on the phone
January 11th, 2024 at 11:49 AM ^
Btw how the Tuck is that man not being prosecuted?
January 11th, 2024 at 10:34 AM ^
They won’t pay.
They probably just want to actually see a Michigan degree since the only “diplomas” they have ever seen, are “pizza dough tossing” certificates and “delivery driver of the week” awards
January 11th, 2024 at 10:40 AM ^
Anything you would use to authenticate your degree could be used for identity theft. And these dorks will never pay. It’s a trap!
January 11th, 2024 at 11:02 AM ^
Admiral Akbar, is that you?
January 11th, 2024 at 10:44 AM ^
readyourguard is John Duerr! You are a great follow on Twitter, I love your breakdowns. Please take Sparty's money, he's got a lot of it after all! LMAO.
Also, hilarious that if he did a tiny bit of internet sleuthing he would know you played football for Michigan in the 80s... Morans.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:46 AM ^
You are Due? Nice. I like your tweets (or Xs, whatever they're called) Now I follow you too.
January 11th, 2024 at 10:50 AM ^
Really love your breakdowns, John. Thanks for doing those!
January 11th, 2024 at 11:17 AM ^
Every Sunday morning I get a tall coffee and enjoy those breakdowns.
January 11th, 2024 at 11:01 AM ^
Paranoid here... but privacy is worth more than 20K to me. Rich people can screw with your life, as can bad actors. These are potentially both. If you need money... do something else. If you don't need the money... do something else. They are asking for your legal name here not your degree.
Can't wait to hear how this turns out.
January 11th, 2024 at 1:04 PM ^
Shit...all along I just assumed your first name was Sextus.
January 11th, 2024 at 11:01 AM ^
Michigan Derangement Syndrome, we really need a new drug to treat it.
January 11th, 2024 at 11:12 AM ^
I have two degrees - can I get $40k?
I'll even reimburse travel expenses if they want to see them in person
not showing my transcripts, though
January 11th, 2024 at 11:14 AM ^
I don't understand some MSU fans obsession with this. I grew up in west MI and there were plenty of MSU fans around who didn't go to the school.
Michigan, Alabama, Georgia, etc have a bigger proportion of non-alumni fans because they are big brand teams that are more closely associated with the states they represent.
January 11th, 2024 at 11:20 AM ^
I still have a feeling you are a former LB for Michigan, did you read guards in Maize and Blue?
January 11th, 2024 at 11:21 AM ^
For a bonus Benjamin, they can see my degree.
January 11th, 2024 at 11:31 AM ^
They're probably laughing their ass off that they got you to post here. Who cares?
January 11th, 2024 at 11:31 AM ^
$20,000 is a LOT of pizzas. They'd best get to work.