The Coin of the Realm - The Challenge Coin
Mates,
Maybe I was late to the party but until about a month ago I had never even heard of a ‘challenge coin’. When I did hear about it, I wondered what someone was being challenged to or for because of the coin. We have many veterans on the board and they will undoubtedly be familiar with the notion of a ‘challenge coin’ as there is a long military history of its usage.
First, a challenge coin is a bit of a misnomer, or at least in most instances. You aren’t being challenged to anything. Second, challenge coins vary in size but are more like a very small beverage coaster, but with engraving and symbols on both sides. Think: maybe 2 or 3 times the size and weight of a silver dollar. In most instances it is given out as more of a memento of being part of a military or athletic team or campaign. Indeed, in the military usage the possession of a challenge coin could be proof that you weren’t a spy. More frequently in the military context if ‘challenged’ at, say, a bar, you whipped out your challenge coin and the last one to do so (or the one who didn’t have one) bought the drinks. Challenge coins have now made it into the civilian sphere, having nothing to do with sports or war.
I was curious so I looked to see if Michigan had something comparable and indeed, I found a number of U of M coins, the most relevant of which commemorates our National Championship Football win. Having seen these, I will admit being tempted to buy a couple. And in case you missed it, we won the National Championship on January 8th, 2024. We beat the University of Washington. 34-13. It was really cool.
Which brings me to why I bother to write this. Our 3 middle sons had really nice football seasons this past year. Combined with Michigan’s National Championship, I dare say there will never, ever be another season like it and my gratitude about the season will last the rest of my life. The two sons that played in high school each got challenge coins a couple of weeks ago at a ceremony commemorating the season. The deal was that they each got two coins, one for themselves, and one to give away. The one twin gave his coin to his mom, saying that the coin was supposed to be given to someone very special. She cried.
The other twin wanted to give his to his grandfather, my father-in-law. Some may remember that I posted a couple of months ago that my father-in-law was in end-stage Parkinson’s. A great man, Koren War veteran, who his whole life had taken great care of himself but as he was nearly 90 yrs old, was not going to beat Parkinson’s. A number of you also shared similar experiences with your loved ones and you know only too well how it must end.
So a few days ago I took the twins to see Grandpa. The one son had a mission. Grandpa was at the point of basically being paralyzed, but his mind could work for a few minutes at a time. The son explained the coin to him, the symbols on it and what it all meant. Then he placed it on Grandpa’s fingers and said, “We are supposed to give this to someone who is very special, and I wanted to give it to you”. Grandpa was not capable of responding verbally, he couldn’t even close his fingers over the coin, but tears started coming out of his eyes. I think we all got a little choked up. We sang to him and said prayers. A few hours later, he lapsed into a coma, but one of his last conscious thoughts was being given that coin and what his grandson had told him about it. This afternoon, Grandpa passed into glory.
There won’t be any more challenge coins for my father in law. There won’t be any more games he’ll watch or hear about from his grandsons. But there will always be honor, and honor that is directed to him and the wonderful memories we have of him. What he couldn’t hold in his hand, he could hold in his heart. And tonight, he will hold it in eternity.
XM
This is a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing XM. Life is so rich, and death is so hard. Yet, thanks be to God - there is hope in eternity and joy and peace now. Your sons sound like impressive young men.
Great gestures from both of your sons. Kudos to Mom and Dad.
Thanks for the reminder about that whole championship thing. I had forgotten all about it.
Please accept my most heartfelt condolences. It was beautiful that you and your family could give the man such a loving farewell.
Edit/add: I've had a few minutes to think about what I wanted to say to you publicly and it's this: having buried two parents who were under my care, under my legal and moral umbrella? What you and your gem did was a wonderful thing; and you are probably both sad and "relieved" that his suffering and indignity is over.
If you're anything like I know you to be, I suspect that your memories of the man will "clarify" and settle into who he really was, that is, someone who was much more than the frail and helpless man you shaved and otherwise tended to at the end.
Time for you, your gem, his grandchildren to grieve his passing --- then vigorously celebrate the family that he helped create that you currently enjoy.
I will light a candle ...
geez, now you're going to get me verklempt all over again. thank you, and thank you to pete and LB, above. loved my FIL, a wonderful man, and it is simultaneously God's mercy, and hurtful and so final, all at the same time.
🤣 👏
I've got to hear how you work verklempt into one of your Sunday sermons!
fortunately not preaching today. would be tough to keep my head in the ball game.
the kids did give me a shirt at Christmas that said: careful, or you'll be in my next sermon.
good advice.
Thanks, XM. I'm sitting here teary now, remembering my own parents, one of whom passed away in 2009 of complications of cancer, and the other who succumbed to Alzheimer's in 2014. I sang hymns into my mother's ear for hours on her last days on earth, knowing that those were among the very few things she would still recognize. I know she and dad are both whole now, and I hope they're meeting your father-in-law. Prayers for all of you.
My allergies are acting up. Honor can cost you nothing or everything. Lessons.
That's a really touching story, and I'm so glad your son got to give it to him before he passed.
You know, it makes me think, you just never know when it's going to happen. On the one hand, my grandma was in a nursing home with Alzheimer's for 12 years, and I lost count of the number of times hospice was called (i.e. she was supposedly close) yet she just kept plugging away. On the other hand, both of my wife's grandmas (also both with Alzheimer's) declined much faster than most in her family expected (ironically my wife was one of the few that actually realized what was going on, though her attempts to call attention to the decline mostly fell on deaf ears), and I think there's a tinge of regret in her family for not being ready so to speak, not realizing how little time was left...
Thanks much for this. I am tearing up too.
I was unaware of the history of the Challenge Coin though I received one from the volunteer non-partisan political group for which I have labored for years. It was already one of only three honors I have received in my, at this time, long life.
My 93 year old mother was sent home on December 24, 1937, after 11 weeks in isolation with polio. Her parents were told she might as well die at home.
She survived colon cancer, and another fatal disease, and Covid, twice, She wants to join my father, her faithful husband of 49 years when he passed in November 2000. Yet she is so constitutionally tough that she hangs on.
Now in the hospital with pneumonia. Every minute I can spend with her is a blessing and a privilege.
I am the oldest of 7. We have part-time caregivers but otherwise, 2 granddaughters and her children have been with her 24/7 when she was at home and all allowed visiting hours + when in the hospital or rehab.
No mother wants to have her son help her get off her depends or assist with the catheter.
Not once, ever, has anyone said "It's your turn to be with Mom!" or "I have taken too many shifts lately." We actually seem to be competitive in who can fill the slots in the Care Calendar, an online sight that is very helpful.
We tell her, look how this has brought he family together. We are glad to be of service.
Life entails suffering. One option is to handle it with grace and accept the help of others.
Like so many significant things, simple, but not easy.
"Faith, family, football." That Harbaugh mantra resonates deeply in your post and with me.
Once again showing this is so much more than a sports blog.
God bless you and your family.
what a great post KOK. wonderful family working together and that undoubtedly comes from your mom and dad instilling that into you and your siblings. and like you, i have been feeding, cleaning, changing, shaving, giving hair cuts to grandpa. i guess that's all over now. still hasn't sunk in all the way. wiped out today.
Forgot to mention the one out of area sibling, bro in Wisconsin, is driving this weekend 6 hours to Metro Airport to pick up his wife, daughter and the twin 14 month old boys, great grandchildren #25 and 26. The only ones she has yet to meet.
My experience with grief is: it takes its own course. I made the mistake of thinking there would be some closure after giving my Dad's eulogy. Not. However you handle it is the right way.
agreed re: grief. i analogize it to getting a severe bruise. it hurts a lot when it happens and its all you think about. eventually it hurts less and you don't think about it 24/7. then after a while its out of your daily thought process, but things will remind you of what caused the bruise. you just have to let time pass. learned that lesson as a kid when mom died.
Lovely story…
Having a LOT of trouble reading an article using the C-O-I-N word vs. referring to them as Round Metal Objects(yes saying the word constitutes a challenge as well).
knowing you're a vet, i'm guessing there is a story in the 'don't say c-o-i-n word', but only use RMO. could use some levity, please share.
I've heard RMO used a lot more in flying squadrons in my experience. In that world, saying the word C-O-I-N to refer to your RMO means you are buying drinks for everyone. Pilots are an odd bunch...
Yes, yes we are.
I’ve been out for a little over 15 years now and I still don’t like using the C word.
Not much levity to it, just if you said the C word it constituted a challenge and if you challenged and everyone had their RMO’s you had to buy the round. You only make that mistake once, mine cost me $100 back when beers and other cocktails were still reasonably priced.
Peace be with you, XM. Modeling, mentoring, leading, even when the way is unclear. A lost skill in this world.
May your family find peace and hope in the promise of the resurrection. And may God grant strength and perseverance until that day.
Poetry, man. Thanks for sharing. I have several challenge coins, but I will now think of your family when I look at them.
Beautiful. I send my condolences to you and your family.
Heart-warming reminder for troubled times.
Thanks, XM.
Sorry for your loss. I lost my grandfathers (paternal when I was six months old, and maternal when 14 years) before fully knowing their value. However, the rest of the family had helped to keep them alive with their stories. I love to see that both your children and their grandpa were able to enjoy each other's company.
That's an incredibly touching story, XM. I'm sure it brought great comfort to your father in law to be surrounded by loved ones and to know that his legacy would be carried on by such wonderful grandchildren.
Prayers and peaceful thoughts to you and your family.
A beautiful story and sentiment, XM. Thank you for sharing it here.
Terry Allen, a west Texas musician and artist was my father's favorite (dad passed in 2017). He's authored some silly songs like 'Truck Load of Art' and some hits, 'Amarillo Highway' that are covered by more famous artist like Robert Earl Keen. There's one of his songs that sticks with me when I read stories like yours and many more on this blog. It's called Give me the Flowers and goes like this:
In this world today where we're living
Some folks say the worst of us they can
But when we are dead and in our caskets
They always slip some lilies in our hands
Will you give me my flowers
While I'm livin' and let me enjoy them while I can?
Don't wait 'til I'm ready to be buried
And then slip some lilies in my hand
In this world is where we need our flowers
And a kind word to help us get along
So if you can't give me flowers while I'm livin'
Then please, don't throw them when I'm gone
It makes me happy when I read that your sons were able to touch their mother and grandfather, before he passed, in such a meaningful way. I am sure he ascended to the pearly gates with the coin in hand and love in his heart. May the good Lord bless you and yours, XM!
thanks HP. love the lyrics. the last few days of his life my mother-in-law was quietly singing an old 40's song in his ear, ""my darling", my darling
Get used to the name of "my darling"
It's here to stay"
and at his last moments oldest daughter was singing a song from mary poppins that they used to sing when they were little. she finished the song, he took is last two breaths, and was gone.
Wonderful story! Condolences to your family and thank you for sharing.
Dang it’s been a dusty week. First a movie, then a song reminding me of my Dad who passed 28 years ago, and now this. Condolences to the family.
I was gifted a challenge coin this year from a reader. I have kept it on me since.
Relatedly, ISS passes over Michigan this week.
legit cool story bro. would you be comfortable posting a picture of the coin?
that is so cool. thank you for sharing.
its these.....these are the things that matter.
and you would know, having lost your dad on 4/23/23. blessings to you, brother
So while deployed for Desert Storm, we were given a medalion on a chain (donated by someone, not sure if I ever knew who) it had the First Cavalry shield on the front and the words "First Team", St. George, patron saint of the Cavalry, on the back. They were really nicely done. I ended up with two of them somehow. When deployment was over and I was ETS'ing from the Army. I filed the rings off both medalions, basically turning them into challenge coins. In 1995 my father had to have open heart surgery. Before his surgery I handed him one of them and told him even though he was infantry (during the Korean Conflict) St. George would look after him, because Cavalry always takes care of our little brothers. :-) My dad had that coin until 2017 when my parent's suffered a house fire and their home was a total loss.
Sadly somewhere along the way, over the years, I misplaced mine..... I always thought that one day I'd be going through a box of stuff and stumble onto my long lost coin. (i'm pretty prone to throwing stuff in a box and putting it in a closet, over actually sorting through it and disposing of meaningless things) . However after all this time, and at least three moves, I've yet to find it.
Dammit, XM. You shouldn't post things like this when it is so dusty out...
Kudos to your kids - ya done good.
Great story
I keep all of mine in a Crown Royal bag somewhere.
Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
What a wonderful story, XM. Your father-in-law, indeed, will hold honor and memories in his heart for eternity. Prayers for you and your family.
thank you ted. user name not checking out.
Wow. I'm a little late to the party here but condolences. This hits close to home. I lost my dad to Parkinson's Sept 13, 2019 (Friday the 13th with a full moon). I remember wondering if he could hear us, and then seeing some tears stream down his cheek and realizing that he could.
Now my mom is rapidly deteriorating. She has not been diagnosed but shows advanced symptoms. I take her to the neurologist next week. I shared in her PT session today via video call. I hate the thought of going down that road again.
Great story and thanks for sharing. Somehow it is comforting knowing there are others that have managed through the same journey.
God bless you, your sons, and your dearly departed.
XM--I reread this today, as it is so apropos to my situation as well. You and I have been sharing our similar journeys over the past few months, so I feel it is fitting that I tell you that my 95-year-old mother-in-law won her battle against this life early this morning. For months she had been saying "Why am I still here?" and "Lord, take me now!" as she dealt with increasing pain and discomfort. Her struggles are now past, and she has moved on to be with her husband and her daughter, my wonderful wife.
Since both her parents died in their 60s, she believed that she would be fortunate to make it to 75. I attribute her long life to more than 80 years of swimming multiple times per week, starting as therapy at the age of 12 due to a potentially crippling neurological disorder in her legs and ending last September when an infected blister on her heel kept her out of the pool. As a swimmer in high school she was highly ranked in the breast stroke and invited to travel halfway across the country for a national swim meet (she placed 5th). Neither of her children inherited her competitive drive, but she insisted that they, and her grandchildren, all learned to swim correctly, and she was extremely pleased when my son was named a D3 Academic All-American (even though he was diver).
As her body wore down without her half-hour swim sessions, she went in to the hospital and then rehab, and I eventually moved her from Alabama back to Michigan where she entered an assisted living facility just a few miles from my home. I was able to visit her twice a day for more than two months, including the two weeks she spent in the hospital caused, I believe, by the stress of the relocation. Over the past several weeks she gradually lost interest in eating, was unable to swallow her pain medication and then not even liquids, and lapsed into fulltime sleep. The Hospice nurse (bless all of them!) called me with the news at five this morning. So it is a sad/happy day for me as you surely understand, as I will miss her but know she is finally free from her pain and I now have had the light burden of caring for her lifted.
rendezvous, as if losing your wife wasn't tough enough. God bless you. and yes, at least as it relates to in-laws we have been on a parallel path. the last six lines of your post are interchangeable with the path my FIL took. consider yourself bro-hugged.
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