Brian - congratulations for having the self-awareness to acknowledge these issues, the bravery to meet them head-on, the insight to take steps to correct the issues and the vulnerability to share this with your reader base.  We're all pulling for you!

Wishing you inner peace and contentment going forward. Persevere!

We'll take what we can get. Good luck and best wishes, Brian.

Best wishes, Brian.  I hope for your sake that building gets built in a way that suits and pleases you.  Even if there isn't room in it for Michigan Football.

All I can say is, yeah. . . Grave of the Fireflies is not the movie to see when you're in this state of mind.

My Neighbor Totoro might not be either, though.  It could be theraputic, but. . . that's a lot of sugar for a mind in crisis.

I dunno.  When my mind was in a dark place and needed to breathe, I went for something easy to digest.  Kind of like congee for an upset stomach.  Castle of Cagliostoro comes to mind.

GotF is like a dark green salad -- good for you, but goes down bitter, and definitely not the thing you need when you're struggling to hold down water.

I have no choice but to pick up the bricks laying on the ground all around me and stack them until there's a building. It's not going to have the same shape. We'll see what it looks like.

Spoilers, but at the end of Castle in the Sky, the bricks that fell weren't picked up.  Finally unburdened from the corrupted portions of itself, Laputa rose higher into the sky, to be forever unmolested by human ambition.

Best of luck to you, Brian. 

Brian, I've always enjoyed reading you. I've been reading this site since about 2009, and although we've only interacted a few times on Twitter, I feel like I know you, as is often the case with people I read/listen to on a regular basis. 

That said, we are with you. It's not just sports content you've built here, it's a community. You're not alone. We are happy just to have you here. Here's to the 2021 season - enjoying the wins, and not taking the losses too seriously. 

Sorry for what's going on in your personal life Brian. I've been a reader of the blog for 15 years now and we all appreciate how great its been all these years. Wish you the best

Best wishes Brian.  I hope you find what you need 

Brian, I really hope you can figure things out. I mentioned before how I can see following Michigan football for your job can drive you into a deep dark hole. I gave up watching games live years ago but the entire football season is still one long depressing slog. We know every season will end with an embarrassing loss to OSU. There is just no point anymore. Hopefully not doing the UFRs will help you. I was in a really bad place 3 or 4 years ago and very close to suicide. A career change literally saved my life. Things are dark but they can get better.

So sorry for your pain.  Gosh the journey can be arduous sometimes. I trust you know that you have brought great joy to many, many people, myself included.  It may not be consolation, but it is the truth.

Hope you can find more inner peace soon my man.  I really enjoy your site and any and all effort you can find to continue to put in it in the future.

Take Care

Brian, good luck with your search for better days. Life is too short if you are doing something that doesn’t bring you pleasure. You obviously have the intellect and the degrees to make changes. Take the time, look around and try plan  B or plan C. . Eventually, hopefully, you’ll find something where going to work is more than drudgery.

Double post…sorry

sigh.

i've been waiting for, and dreading, this post.

i'm an old fart.  i'm an alcoholic.  i've been sober for 16 years, and fates willing, i'll die without ever having another drink.  my age, and alcoholics anonymous, have taught me that attempts to understand / predict / solve someone else's mental condition are pure, unadulterated folly.  a person can seem, to outward appearances, like all is well, and then they see a ghibli movie, or listen to carole king, or find out that aldi doesn't sell their cookie butter knockoff any more, and boom.  i honestly think we're all much closer to the metal than we realize.

all of which is to say just a couple things.

thank you for sharing.  as someone who sometimes writes in a raw, emotional way (see above), i know how cathartic it can be to let it rip like that, and i'm happy for you that you were able to do it here.

and thank you for your writing in general.  i don't pay much attention to recruiting, or neck sharpies, or snowflake threads, or any of that stuff (which isn't to say that they're not terrific - they are almost uniformly excellent, just not my thing).  what i love about this site are the posts that make me laugh, or, as in this case, cry while i sit at my desk at work.  i'm so glad to hear that you are going to continue to share your writing with us, because it's lovely, and beautiful, and funny as hell, and brutal, and sometimes all in the same paragraph.

i'm rambling.

be well, brian.  i'm sorry for what you've gone through, but i'm so glad to hear you are safe and healthy.

It seems almost inconceivable when you're in the middle of the storm, but sunny days are coming.

You are the reason I am here, and I am grateful. Hope you find what you are seeking and life becomes more fun. 

I worked at a job where the saying was "they can't kill us, all they can do is fire us". MgoBlog is not life and death so do what you need.

Welcome back Brian. Wishing you only the best in all things. 

Take care, sir!

Was wondering where you've been, but the absence was completely understandable.  You have nothing to be ashamed of so far as this blog is concerned, and probably nothing in any case.  I've no doubt the separation is hard, but I really hope its amicable - because kids need both of their parents.  Take time for them, even if that time costs us a game column.  You owe us nothing, you owe your kids everything.

Also, get the fuck off twitter (if you're even still on it - I have no idea because I'm not on it).  You don't need it, nobody does - its a cesspool of negativity and always will be.  The only feedback you need from/about/for this site will come directly from this site.

Good luck in picking up the bricks, just remember that not all of them need to be picked up...

Watch Miyazakis' "Spirited Away," that's an interesting one as well.  

This blog has been part of my journey as a post-Michigan undergraduate adult. Brian, you started it a year after I graduated.

In some ways, this blog has been like that friend you sit next to at the games. You gripe about missed opportunities and celebrate the euphoric moments. And sometimes, you get honest with one another about the hard things in life.

So, it should be of no surprise that I choked up and shed a few tears reading this, because it feels like a friend is hurting. Brian, I am sorry - and I hope we can mete out some measure of support in whatever capacity you want or need from us.

Thanks for giving us an update Brian.

I have been a huge fan of the blog, not for 17 years, but probably a good 15, and have enjoyed it tremendously, and I have appreciated your style of sardonic wit in the face of the black hole of Michigan Football... Similar to A Perfect Storm, its really just been one big churn the last decade, but fleeting moments where the sun appears and the skies open briefly providing some hope.

Dialing back a little it the smart thing to do, especially in light of your personal circumstances.

Sending you my best wishes.

https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-meditate-thich-nhat-hanh-on-walking-meditation/

Brian,

It's good to hear from you.  As others have said, this is a brave post.  Hang in there.  Things can get better, little by little, day by day.  The above link might be of some help to you.  Also--and I trust that you will ignore this if it doesn't sound good--you might consider talking to a therapist.  I talk to one regularly and am on enough antidepressants to power an elephant (well, maybe not a big elephant).  And both help enormously.  

I am aware of the limits of what this means, but please remember that you have an unusually large number of people who care about you.  We mgobloggers will remain in your corner.

I hope you know how much you have given to the Michigan community. I was in junior high when this site started on blogspot. I am proud to be one of the Summer 2008 hipsters from when it migrated.

16 years of putting so many emotions and reactions into words. We can't thank you enough for your gift to us all. There are posts from this site that I think about almost every day, literally. I can't explain it but Life as a Vole, Eleven Swans, Aneurysm of Leadership, even Moon Disaster. They all stick. In my head and heart and everything.

My first relationship with Michigan sports is through my father but my second is through this website. I know I'm not the only one who can say that. Your work has mattered to so many of us and we are forever grateful.

Good. Although it would be a lie to say that there aren't good things going on here, or that football reportage doesn't bring discernible and useful data and analysis to the table, this place has been moribund for years. 

I don't think, quite honestly, that Seth needs to dissect every single play. Analysis of a series or the approach to the whole game vis a vis opponent, philosophy, evolving sophistication of play calling? We've had hints of that, but a more formal, regular reckoning would be great. 

I'd fling this sucker wide open to lots more kinds of content, including M sports. Women's hoops, soccer, and gymnastics, to name a few, are cool. It's such a boringly male redoubt. Regular postings, with a few exceptions, just aren't inspired; in fact, a strongly reactionary--and clearly, very gendered--tinge took hold long ago. It didn't have to be like that. 

Weaned my daughter on the Miyazaki films, and they are awesome. Grave of the Fireflies. . . you neglected to say who/what caused all that unnecessary suffering. 

Wishing you the best. There was a time when this place inspired the shit out of me. No reason it can't again. 

May or may not mean something to you, but it means something to me, and to my boss: Praying for you, Brian. Good to hear from you. 

Thanks as always for your vulnerability and expressiveness Brian.

There's a real hidden drawback to doing what you love for a living. Most people have a passion or hobby to bury themselves in when work goes sour or vice versa (or they can distract themselves with sports!). When your passion/job/distraction are all one in the same it can be extremely challenging to weather the ebbs and flows. 

On the positive side its clear the blog has grown to be larger than any one person. Not a lot of people can say they've built something that will outlast them/their involvement.

We're all pulling for you to find whatever peace means for you.