OT - Avoid Confrontation or Call the Person/Group Out

I'm completely in favor of confronting people that are displaying obviously racist behavior. Dropping the N-word is not acceptable.

But in a situation like you were in yesterday, confronting them for their disgusting behavior probably could've escalated and been dangerous. The manager of the restaurant/bar should've dealt with the situation and told them to cut that shit out. If they continued, they should've been told to leave or been escorted out.

When confronted with extremely intoxicated (falling down, puking, etc.) folks there is no reasoning, and I avoid the confrontation.  This goes double when I have young children.  When there is less less alcohol nvolved I will ask people to tone down their language. Most people do modify their behavior when confronted with young ears, at least until they forget about it short while later.

You won't change assholes like that by confronting them directly. Tell the staff there that you're leaving and tell them why, since clearly the management is OK with that kind of behavior.  Post reviews of the place everywhere you can and describe exactly the kind of atmosphere that bar is OK with.  

"The N-bombs were flowing non-stop, and not even in the yay go team (nice play bro) way." Wasn't aware there's a "yay go team" N-bomb. I think that would still just be an N-bomb.

It's not your bar, and you never know how people might react, especially drunk obnoxious people. I'd tell the bar management and let them handle it. If it's not taken care of quickly, I'd leave and let the management know why I'm leaving.

You handled it the right way.  Confronting drunks in a bar will not resolve anything and likely lead to regrets all around.

Curious, what exactly did you tell management? Just that they were saying what they were saying? I might have made it an either or proposition- tell management to either ask those folks to leave or that they'll lose your business for tolerating that bullshit.

To paraphrase Office Space and Michael Bolton, they're the assholes, you shouldn't have to leave

Edit: How did management react when you told them?

As I've gotten older, I've become much more inclined to call people out on their bullshit.  Because, what's right is right.  What's wrong is wrong.

That being said, given that these people were likely drunk - and given that they were so open with their repulsive behavior - confronting them would've likely escalated in to an untenable situation. 

You did the right thing by alerting management and then leaving.  

Simple minded hurtful folk will always exist.  Dont give the pricks the satisfaction.  

Unless you are rolling really deep or are very large/jacked and don't mind getting punched in the face, complaining to management and moving is usually the best approach.

More often than not, people like you described have nothing to lose and don't care about a simple assault charge from punching you in the face. Meanwhile you could get a broken jaw or teeth knocked out. I grew up in semi rural Michigan and ran into this quite a bit. I've stopped going to the bars there when I'm back around.

You aren't going the change them, so it's really just confrontation. I know the hope is that if you say something they may stop making remarks like that in public, but I doubt that is the case. If they are saying those th8ngs to someone directly, that's a different story and more complicated.

Make sure that your group outnumbers their group by 2 to 1 and 3 to 1 would be better. The bar management should have done a better job at handling obnoxious folks and should prepare for that in the future.

You all did the right thing by going to another bar.

If you're in someone else's home or establishment and you start confronting people, you will become part of the problem.  You could bring this extremely offensive behavior to the attention of the bar ownership and just wait for the idiots to be kicked out.  Did that not work?

If not, I would accept that you're not going to fix anyone in this situation and just find someplace else.  Miami is full of great bars and happy-enough people, as is pretty much every town.

Film and post their bs. Every community has a local facebook group (like "Overheard in Redneckville" or something) or hashtag it on the Twitter machine. 

The internet has to be good for something. 

I've never experienced people using the N word in public like that. I am surprised the establishment didn't try to squash it.

Perhaps if it ever happens again, ask the wait staff to do something about it.

Where were the staff? Much as you want to confront them it is their job. If they won't throw them out then it's not a place to visit. I would never go back to be honest.

If that actually ruined your day I'd recommend therapy. 

It amazes me how nowadays there are people in society who will either beat the shit out of someone and/or kill them over something as minor as an argument.  All it takes is one unhinged individual and you are history.  It's not worth it to confront people anymore.  EDIT: This my be the reason why the manager was reluctant to say anything to them.  

I’ll buck the trend here and say that unless you’re comfortable with this becoming more widespread, confrontation is necessary. I’m not saying you need walk up to them and start banging heads but some sort of action needs to be done to call these people out because while you say monkey chants and racial epithets are common in sporting events and sports bars, I had never seen something like that 5-10 years ago. 

Bigotry is a cancer and it spreads like wildfire and takes over otherwise good people and gives them free reign to hurt unsuspecting others without they themselves realizing the repercussions of their actions until it’s too late.

If people don’t speak up, if people don’t humiliate Nazis in public, you run the risk of tacitly approving such sentiments and allow them to fester. Fair enough if you feel physically vulnerable enough at a bar to even shout at them, but at some point you have to be involved in this fight in an aggressive manner.

Thank you for sharing this story OP, and I’m not criticizing your actions or suggesting a physical ‘fight’ is what’s needed or that I would have the guts to do what needs to be done. I just think that, yes, aggressive confrontation is needed.