If there is a broad consensus still left in America today, it is that drugs are bad. Nancy Regan told me this, but so has Darren Aronofsky. Richard Nixon. TLC. Kermit the Frog. An egg cooking in a pan. Breaking Bad. All vehemently anti-drugs. The Wire—surely the last American institution to command broad trust—was about how many things were bad, and drugs were certainly one of them. Drugs: nope. They're bad.

But the first period of Saturday's hockey game asks a provocative question. What if… what if drugs are good? Because that game was on drugs. And it was good.

By the end of one period of hockey folks in Yost Ice Arena had seen 34 shots, seven goals, eight penalties, two majors, and one game misconduct in a pear tree. Last week I wrote about how Old Yost felt, and Wisconsin came in like Northern Michigan or Lake State of old, leading with the jaw and throwing haymakers. They got blitzed on Friday, got pissed Friday night, and came into the Saturday game looking for any excuse to get out some frustrations.

They did not come into that game with any plan to prevent Michigan from scoring buckets of goals. God bless Tony Granato, who recruits a boatload of talent and then declines to put it in any sort of "system" that could "prevent scoring chances." That's my kind of opposing coach. Vague threat from the legion of skilled guys on the opposition, no ability to turn that into winning hockey. Has a guy who sounds like a Pokemon scoring bunches of goals. A+, it is deeply unfortunate he's getting fired into the earth's mantle the instant the season ends.

[After THE JUMP: did you know the 2007 film Bucket List popularized the term "bucket list"?]

It is thanks to Granato that we have a reminder. There was—is I guess—a bloodthirstiness in that building when Michigan swarms a team, every goal elevating the "it's all your fault" chants to a higher decibel level. This has been increasingly rare these days, even after Michigan got back to being one of the most talented teams in the country. There is rarely an opportunity to beat someone's head in. Even MSU's Not In The Face hockey was frustrating to deal with because six guys playing goalie is tough to get through. Back in the CCHA you could count on a number of 8-1 beatings annually, but with Michigan's late Red dropoff and the general lack of meatball teams in conference Michigan no longer chases goalies on the regular. The student section has forgotten the protocol wherein "goalie, sieve" turns into "goalie, sieve, sieve" after the opposition switches goalies. This says more about the state of the program, and college hockey in general, than the students. It hasn't been relevant very often.

It was surely relevant this weekend, when Michigan couldn't prove a whole lot but could entertain. That they did. Things slowed down after the delirious first period, but Michigan scored a couple of times and then Steve Holtz, in his triumphant return from nearly dying, apparently checked off a bucket list item by telling everyone to go to hell and die. He started with a Wisconsin player. The officials said "hey!" and gave him a penalty, and Holtz told the officials to go to hell and die, and the officials said "hey!" again and gave him another penalty, and then Holtz told the officials to die in hell and go to an even worse hell—one where Pharrell's "Happy" plays 24/7 and Tommy Rees is your offensive coordinator—and the officials booted him out of the game. Twenty-two penalty minutes without even hitting anyone.

On his way out, Holtz fired up the crowd and took a victory lap, daring the officials to kick him out of the game he'd already been kicked out of. I maintain that if Holtz had scored on the breakaway he somehow contrived into existence (see "God bless Tony Granato" section above), he would not have felt the need to assemble his magnificent collection of violations like Sylvester Stallone preparing to go to the bathroom. But he didn't, and in the end that was better. I have seen defensemen score goals; I have not seen one get a full period's worth of penalty minutes without attempting to murder Steven Kampfer.

There was more hockey after that, but the show had concluded.

BULLETS

Pairwise update. Penn State split against OSU so Michigan maintains their tenuous grip on the last one-seed. They're close to their potential peak—they are not catching Minnesota or Quinnipiac and BU would have to slide significantly. They don't have a ton of downside risk, either. The Daily's Connor Earegood has been punching in PWR scenarios and it looks like even a total collapse doesn't quite kick them out:

Updated Pairwise situation after @umichhockey sweeps Wisconsin. Michigan projects at 13th even if it loses its remaining 6 games.
Not quite clinched, since OSU missed the tournament in that exact spot last season. Would need 3 teams ahead of them to win conference tournaments. pic.twitter.com/H5lxMGj9uT

— Connor Earegood (@ConnorEaregood) February 5, 2023

13th in PWR is about 98% to make the tournament annually; OSU got massively unlucky last year. Earegood did not account for the possibility of losing a playoff series, so it is distantly possible that Michigan misses but 0-fer the rest of the season is about what it's going to take. Michigan will be playing to lock in a bid this weekend against MSU.

FWIW, Penn State has this weekend off and then finishes with four home games against the best and worst teams in the conference: Minnesota and Wisconsin.

Standings update. Michigan is somehow second in the conference now. Technically they're in a four-way tie at 30 points but Michigan and Ohio State have two games in hand on Penn State and Michigan State. Michigan has two goals here: one is finish fourth or better to get a home series to start the playoffs. The second is to get second place so that a playoff semi is at Yost and maybe a final if you get lucky and Minnesota gets knocked off.

[Beal]

Players and such. I am largely restricting myself to vibes based hockey posting since Alex and David have the stats and the analytical eye I've never really had for hockey, but I think the move to split Samoskevich from Fantilli is an excellent move that's paying dividends. Samoskevich can drive play by himself, which really popped out to me during the NTDP exhibition, and does not need Fantilli. Fantilli does not need Samoskevich, and his ability to drive lanes and draw attention has opened up the space Gavin Brindley needs to blow up, which he is in the process of doing.

If Michigan can just get healthy here they could end up skating a third line of Frank Nazar, Jackson Hallum, and a surging Eric Ciccolini. I don't really know what to expect from Nazar at this point but a top 15 NHL draft pick will probably be an upgrade at 3C.