Ot: Help me with my alcohol cart

Submitted by Toby Flenderson on January 19th, 2023 at 1:27 PM

Hello friends. 
 

Thanks again for all your help with the charcuterie board. Some weiners, some cheese, some ranch, some laughs. People were certainly whelmed. 
 

For Christmas, my aunt got me an alcohol cart. I’ve been totally decking it out, and hope to host people again. How should I fill this out? I got a jug of Hawaiian Punch, a couple rolling rocks, half bag of Franzia, and a Smirnoff ice. Any recs to finish this off with some liquor?

 

MGoBoard

Humen

January 19th, 2023 at 1:36 PM ^

I recommend mixing some cheap vodka with some N.A. beer and calling it your home brew. Saves time and effort.

With the rest of the cheap vodka, squeeze some fruits or vegetables into the plastic bottle and label it “moonshine.” It’s all the rage.

Be sure to wrap your Smirnoff ices before presenting them to guests, of course.

Add some duct tape and 40 oz beers. Your guests will know what to do.

Gummy bears.

Four Loko.

Cocaine.

Alcohol wipes. Thank me later.

Joined: 10/04/2010

MGoPoints: 11731

4roses

January 19th, 2023 at 2:17 PM ^

Planet Money podcast had an episode on Vodka that was very enlightening. Here are the key things I learned:

  • By definition, Vodka is colorless, odorless, and tasteless and thus it all should be the same. Only difference is impurities remaining from distilling, though their small scale testing showed not much difference between cheap and high end. 
  • "High End" Vodka is 100% a marketing ploy
  • The guy who started the Vodka marketing ploy is also responsible for making Jaegermeister popular
  • The majority of all the world's Vodka - whether it's Grey Goose or Popov - starts off being made by the same company. They distill and then sell it at a very high alcohol content. It is then watered down to a lower proof during bottling. 

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 5854

Dustin

January 19th, 2023 at 5:39 PM ^

Once you’ve distilled vodka a couple of times, as long as you’re cutting it appropriately, you’re going to get a substantially similar product.

There have been analyses of the vodka brands for purity. After reading one such analysis years ago I’ve only ever bought Svedka (and the occasional bottle of Zubrowka). In the case of Svedka, it is inexpensive, scored well in the aforementioned analysis, and tastes fine. Unless you’re in Eastern Europe you’re mixing it anyway. Buying Grey Goose or whatever is popular is just throwing money away. 

Joined: 08/09/2014

MGoPoints: 180

Kapitan Howard

January 19th, 2023 at 2:05 PM ^

Do they still make 4Loko? I was in college when they were first released and subsequently declawed. My buddies and I invented a drink called a 5Loko which was 5 shots of cheap vodka, a 5 Hour Energy, and topped off with Mountain Dew. I swear that thing took years off of my life and I drank it twice.

Joined: 07/30/2009

MGoPoints: 6558

Gree4

January 19th, 2023 at 1:37 PM ^

Simple - get the following 

1 Handle of Kamchatka Vodka

1 pint of Blackberry Brandy 

1 pint of peach schnapps 

15 Shooters of Fireball

5th of Mellow Corn for sippin

and finally 

1 Litre of Lemoncello to impress your Italian friends

 

good luck 

Joined: 09/04/2020

MGoPoints: 13939

mgobleu

January 19th, 2023 at 1:39 PM ^

If you have the proper licensure, you can purchase a barrel of denatured alcohol for an ounce-for-ounce, downright reasonable price. 

Granted, 55 gallons at a time is rather unwieldy, and you have to get past the additives they put in to make it “undrinkable”. It’s a little tough and the flavor is a vomit enducing extra spicy version of turpentine, but when you wanna throw a big party on a budget…

Joined: 07/02/2008

MGoPoints: 38428

MMBbones

January 19th, 2023 at 1:41 PM ^

I would add several jugs of Thunderbird and play Richard T. Bruiser singing his classic rendition. I recommend using a vintage cassette player in order to create the atmosphere you are looking for.

Joined: 08/28/2008

MGoPoints: 9889

MGlobules

January 19th, 2023 at 1:44 PM ^

I'd get some shims from Lowe's for when the wheels start to come off. They will. 

Also, my cousin Ron makes beer in his garage in Willingboro, if you're anywhere near there. 

Joined: 11/17/2008

MGoPoints: 47691

WindyCityBlue

January 19th, 2023 at 1:45 PM ^

Toby.  Seriously?!

If I was to take this post seriously.  I recommend that any serious alcohol cart have some Hibiki, Japanese whiskey.  The Japanese have an interesting history with alcohol in general.  In short, they can't handle their alcohol than, say, the Irish.  Therefore, the alcohol they consume is very high quality. 

Hibiki is on the more expensive side, but its the best whiskey I've ever had.

Joined: 07/23/2008

MGoPoints: 40771