Ot: Help me with my alcohol cart
Hello friends.
Thanks again for all your help with the charcuterie board. Some weiners, some cheese, some ranch, some laughs. People were certainly whelmed.
For Christmas, my aunt got me an alcohol cart. I’ve been totally decking it out, and hope to host people again. How should I fill this out? I got a jug of Hawaiian Punch, a couple rolling rocks, half bag of Franzia, and a Smirnoff ice. Any recs to finish this off with some liquor?
January 19th, 2023 at 1:30 PM ^
Jelly Bean dispenser for the win!!!
January 19th, 2023 at 1:32 PM ^
Water. whole lot of water. And Funions. Yea.
January 19th, 2023 at 2:50 PM ^
.
yes
.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:33 PM ^
Zima, Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers and some Mad Dog.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:52 PM ^
Whiteclaw is Zima for Millennials.
January 19th, 2023 at 5:10 PM ^
As a millennial myself, our generation drank Zima in college. We drink white claw now.
January 19th, 2023 at 6:52 PM ^
My college years were in the sweet spot of 2013-2017. Too young for Zima, too old for White Claw.
I drink the claw now, of course.
January 19th, 2023 at 10:19 PM ^
Not doing anything to dispel the notion that millennials are the worst generation (behind boomers).
January 19th, 2023 at 5:48 PM ^
And for those wild nights - Apple Dog!
January 19th, 2023 at 8:18 PM ^
If you're caterng to a slightly less high brow crowd, Boone's strawberry wine-like substance does the trick.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:36 PM ^
I recommend mixing some cheap vodka with some N.A. beer and calling it your home brew. Saves time and effort.
With the rest of the cheap vodka, squeeze some fruits or vegetables into the plastic bottle and label it “moonshine.” It’s all the rage.
Be sure to wrap your Smirnoff ices before presenting them to guests, of course.
Add some duct tape and 40 oz beers. Your guests will know what to do.
Gummy bears.
Four Loko.
Cocaine.
Alcohol wipes. Thank me later.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:54 PM ^
I had a detailed post all ready to go, but this pretty much covers it.
Run that cheap vodka through a Britta filter if you want to be fancy.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:57 PM ^
Do you think guests would notice if I watered down Smirnoff and put it in a Ciroc bottle?
January 19th, 2023 at 2:17 PM ^
Planet Money podcast had an episode on Vodka that was very enlightening. Here are the key things I learned:
- By definition, Vodka is colorless, odorless, and tasteless and thus it all should be the same. Only difference is impurities remaining from distilling, though their small scale testing showed not much difference between cheap and high end.
- "High End" Vodka is 100% a marketing ploy
- The guy who started the Vodka marketing ploy is also responsible for making Jaegermeister popular
- The majority of all the world's Vodka - whether it's Grey Goose or Popov - starts off being made by the same company. They distill and then sell it at a very high alcohol content. It is then watered down to a lower proof during bottling.
January 19th, 2023 at 2:41 PM ^
It's rumored that Kirkland brand vodka is made from the same factory as Grey Goose. Whether true or not, Kirkland vodka is just fine.
January 19th, 2023 at 3:00 PM ^
My father in law is a vodka king and says, that while close, not the same. I can’t tell the difference except at the cash register.
January 19th, 2023 at 3:22 PM ^
interesting. i lost a bet once to someone who correctly identified vodka in a blind taste testing. I know it is hard to believe (hence I lost the bet!) but he could distinguish hm, grey goose, belvedere, a couple others 'higher tier' (not Popov). I def can't, even if grain v potato etc.
January 19th, 2023 at 3:21 PM ^
That was Sidney Frank. He became a billionaire. His daughter Cathy Halstead lives just up the road from me in Colorado.
January 19th, 2023 at 5:39 PM ^
Once you’ve distilled vodka a couple of times, as long as you’re cutting it appropriately, you’re going to get a substantially similar product.
There have been analyses of the vodka brands for purity. After reading one such analysis years ago I’ve only ever bought Svedka (and the occasional bottle of Zubrowka). In the case of Svedka, it is inexpensive, scored well in the aforementioned analysis, and tastes fine. Unless you’re in Eastern Europe you’re mixing it anyway. Buying Grey Goose or whatever is popular is just throwing money away.
January 19th, 2023 at 3:52 PM ^
I was waiting for the hookers & blow answer, or at least the blow part with the hookers on the side next to the alcohol cart.
January 20th, 2023 at 2:30 AM ^
It's not that kind of party without Squirt.
PSA reminder: At any party it's a good idea to be wary of the mashed potatoes. And smushed looking cherry pies.
January 19th, 2023 at 2:05 PM ^
Do they still make 4Loko? I was in college when they were first released and subsequently declawed. My buddies and I invented a drink called a 5Loko which was 5 shots of cheap vodka, a 5 Hour Energy, and topped off with Mountain Dew. I swear that thing took years off of my life and I drank it twice.
January 19th, 2023 at 4:39 PM ^
This actually sounds amazing.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:37 PM ^
Simple - get the following
1 Handle of Kamchatka Vodka
1 pint of Blackberry Brandy
1 pint of peach schnapps
15 Shooters of Fireball
5th of Mellow Corn for sippin
and finally
1 Litre of Lemoncello to impress your Italian friends
good luck
January 19th, 2023 at 3:35 PM ^
This guy knows how to bottom shelf.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:39 PM ^
If you have the proper licensure, you can purchase a barrel of denatured alcohol for an ounce-for-ounce, downright reasonable price.
Granted, 55 gallons at a time is rather unwieldy, and you have to get past the additives they put in to make it “undrinkable”. It’s a little tough and the flavor is a vomit enducing extra spicy version of turpentine, but when you wanna throw a big party on a budget…
January 19th, 2023 at 1:40 PM ^
Grape Kool-Aid powder - the perfect mixer
January 19th, 2023 at 1:41 PM ^
I would add several jugs of Thunderbird and play Richard T. Bruiser singing his classic rendition. I recommend using a vintage cassette player in order to create the atmosphere you are looking for.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:54 PM ^
“This is fair warning!!”
January 19th, 2023 at 4:17 PM ^
What's the word?....Thunderbird. What's the price... 30 twice.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:42 PM ^
Can you still buy Tequiza? If so, definitely some Tequiza.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:42 PM ^
You may have a drinking problem, Toby.
January 19th, 2023 at 2:30 PM ^
i don't have a problem with his drinking.
i don't have a problem with my drinking.
still unclear what you're getting at
January 19th, 2023 at 3:46 PM ^
Toby has a Toby problem
January 19th, 2023 at 1:42 PM ^
In order: ethyl, denatured, isopropyl, and rubbing.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:44 PM ^
I'd get some shims from Lowe's for when the wheels start to come off. They will.
Also, my cousin Ron makes beer in his garage in Willingboro, if you're anywhere near there.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:45 PM ^
Zima is a must-have for any alcohol cart imo.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:45 PM ^
Toby. Seriously?!
If I was to take this post seriously. I recommend that any serious alcohol cart have some Hibiki, Japanese whiskey. The Japanese have an interesting history with alcohol in general. In short, they can't handle their alcohol than, say, the Irish. Therefore, the alcohol they consume is very high quality.
Hibiki is on the more expensive side, but its the best whiskey I've ever had.
January 19th, 2023 at 5:21 PM ^
boring....
January 19th, 2023 at 1:47 PM ^
MD 20/20. Red Grape, if possible
January 19th, 2023 at 1:50 PM ^
Ketamine and methadone suppositories
January 19th, 2023 at 1:57 PM ^
Hell yeahhhhh!!!
January 19th, 2023 at 2:36 PM ^
this guy parties
January 19th, 2023 at 1:51 PM ^
What happened to your new year's resolution of quitting to drink and going to bed early?
January 19th, 2023 at 3:14 PM ^
He's going to drink and stay up later.
January 19th, 2023 at 1:52 PM ^
Swap the Hawaiian Punch for Red Pop.
January 19th, 2023 at 2:14 PM ^
Is Faygo still available? If so, I’d suggest a couple of variety packs to cover any mixer request possible.
January 19th, 2023 at 4:00 PM ^
Ginger Ale - good as a mixer and good all by itself