Bret Beliema quote on tunnel incident

Careful Bert… when coaches run their mouths, Harbaugh goes full Montresor. Though in this instance, I’m guessing the bait would be pizza rolls rather than Amontillado. 

He is just bummed that tunnel is not the line to buffet. Seriously, I have no idea what he meant. But, we are talking about Illinois here and Bret did not like us from his days at Wisconsin. So, I wouldn't put anything past that guy. He was the guy in recent memory who ran it down people's throats. Now, Harbaugh is doing it in a much better with a lot more success. That has to grind him. Let him flap his mouth. 

Bret Bielema is the only P5 coach who weighs as much as his offensive linemen.

Well considering we are to Illinois what OSU is to us, and Bielema has never been one to really care for Michigan, I don't expect any niceties from him. I don't know exactly what he meant in his quote. I'm not taking any offense to it, I doubt anyone within the Michigan locker room is, but even if they did, its irrelevant. 

I don't question that Bielema has vastly improved that program and they are well-coached, but they still haven't played anyone. And they lost to freaking Indiana. I'm sure they'll play some inspired ball when they get here, Chase Brown may even have a couple of good runs, but this is not a Greg Robinson defense that Bielema can just run at 27 times in a row and expect good results. 

Michigan will bust that game wide open in the second half and remind Bielema of where he belongs in the pecking order. Being the best in the Western Division is the equivalent of putting lipstick on a pig. You're still a freaking pig. 

If you put Bert to a Turing test, I wonder what would happen?

Harbaugh needs to treat Bert like Bo did Mike White (Illinois HC).

I was at the 1986 game where Michigan pounded Illinois 69-13.

Bo was pissed off at White b/c he would recruit players out of junior colleges instead of high schools. Apparently Bo felt that Illinois should develop the high schoolers (like all of the other teams did) instead of letting junior college kids come in with a bit of development already under their belt.

So to prove his point, he put up 69 points on them.

Even though he was up big, Bo was still throwing bombs late into the game to prove his point.

This has nothing to do with the tunnel incident, I would just like to see the beat down.

I can't believe I am doing this, but in defense of some of the things Bielema said:

1. He plays Tucker and MSU this week. No coach is going to disparage their opponent publicly before the game.

2. Illinois has not played at Michigan since 2016 meaning that almost his entire team (and possibly staff) have never been inside Michigan Stadium. As some others have noted, he may just mean that he wants to take all precautions before a big game like most neurotic head coaches would.

he's easy to hate, but alas a good coach. I hate that we get Illinois right before the Game, easy to not be up for what will be a tough game.

Well I think Michigan is going to pound the shit out of Illinois in two weeks. File THAT away, Bert. 

Eh, he can be a jackwagon, and he probably is giving only a slightly over the top compliment to Tucker (being a “tremendous person”), but the issue with MSU started long before Tucker got there and three years probably ain’t enough to institute enough control over that locker room unless you are a Saban or Carroll. I think beliema is underestimating Dantonio’s lingering influence on the psyche of the MSU program, or that he just doesn’t understand how despicable Dantonio could be and what effect that had on MSU’s senior leadership in that locker room. 
 

As an aside, I’d say the above, coupled with the actions of their safety Henderson, speaks volumes about Henderson’s character in that even Dantonio couldn’t damage him. 

Bert hates tunnels.  He's afraid he'll get stuck in one.

Oh, Bert. Never change. 

they play msu tomorrow, so of course he is going to say mel is tremendous. it's coach speak.

I know a few guys that look like Brett Bielma and interestingly I can't stand any of them 😂

This is nothing.  What do you expect him to say?  Tucker sucks?  He wants to remind his kids to behave when they are here and going through the tunnel.  Let's not take this thing too far and make it a tribal issue.  We already have enough of it in other parts of our society.

Wasn't Bert started on MGo because of that dirty Breaston hit? Brian or a poster typed it wrong and it forever stuck.

I just hate that guy. 

Ah yes Bret, give Michigan that yummy rat poison. Yummy.

This whole thread - I’m sorry many of you are losing your sense of humor.

Bert isn’t going to go off on Mel given they play this week.  And in two weeks Bert will “bring up” the Oreo cookies he has filed away.

None of his quote makes any sense.  There's no reason why any of it would have a "huge effect" on his team. Tucker being a tremendous person doesn't change the fact that at least some of his players are not.  And what, is your team going to play harder to stand up for MSU after Michigan was saying mean things to them after the game?  Or is he saying his players are also pieces of shit so he'll have to bring this up to remind them not to beat anyone up in the tunnel after they get trounced?  Nonsense.

I'm disappointed in the body- and fat-shaming in this thread. The guy's behavior gives everyone enough material to work with, we don't have to comment on his weight.  

I'm filing this away under "I'll never give a fuck about"

I hope he means that he's going to bring up with his own team to behave well.  A good coach would be able to coach his players to behave like humans.

The only thing that fat fuck is filing away is the entire menu at Wendys.

This doesn't strike me as a shot at Michigan.

Assuming positive intent here, what this COULD mean is, "Hey, Mel Tucker is a good guy in a tough spot at the moment. ALSO, I'm going to make sure my team knows to keep their heads about them after the Michigan game."

Rivalries, even the Illinois-Michigan "rivalry" which they made up and exists only in their heads, don't have to be antagonistic. I'll be very disappointed if Illinois resorts to MSU antics, when Tucker looks like he's TRYING to move away from the Dantonio mentality.

Beliema can only wish that a PB&J is thrown at his face when he walks down our tunnel.

Bert going to Bert

File away whatever you want, Bert. We'll see you on the field

No love lost between Illinois & Michigan during Bo's regime.  He blew the whistle on their recruiting violations (some M fans called them the Cheating Illegal in those days), then would run the score up on them (as able) after they fired Gary Moeller in 1979.  Since we don't play them much these days, it's all mostly forgotten from the M side.

Ed: in context it appears this was not a shot at Michigan.  My sentiment remains, if you run your mouth you'll regret it Bertleby.

Way to butcher the quote to make it sound anti-Michigan when he's clearly saying he's going to bring it up to his team to make sure they don't act like asshats a la MSU.

Making the tunnel that's had zero issues in 90 years an issue is just pathetic.  You're paid millions to coach football, quit being babies because a team yelled at you.

Bret was at Iowa first as a player and part of a 1990 B1G champ that won in A2. He was 1-3 vs. us during that time (not always as a starter). During that era, it was MICHIGAN clearly the best in the league from 1986 to 1992 - other than 1987, we won or shared the other 6 titles. I think a lot of fans hated us for that era. We didn't lose a conference game from 1988 through 1992 (had 3 ties only along with 37 wins). 37-0-3 record - I can see what people put us in the top of their rivals.

Can someone please put this on a bulletin board where M players can see it?