Sawdust And Diamonds
3/4/2021 – Michigan 69, Michigan State 50 – 19-2, 14-2 Big Ten, Big Ten regular season champions
I have now watched a year of pandemic sports, and I can say that the most surreal thing to watch with nobody in the stands is college basketball. This was made plain when I turned on the Baylor-WVU game, which was about 20% full, and recoiled at the strangeness of an audio record of whether things were going well or not. People were furious at certain things. It was a sad (and unwise) echo of the Before Times, and at the same time it injected a fervor into the proceedings. It felt like a top-ten matchup, or at least the ghost of one.
Alone amongst major sports, basketball puts fans directly adjacent to proceedings. Malices at the Palace do not transpire in other sports because there are barriers between athletes and the hoi polloi. Opportunities for portly gentlemen to confront and get absolutely wrecked by Jermaine O'Neal are limited.
This gives a basketball crowd an immediacy other sports lack. When you are close to the court the sport literally vibrates for you, each bounce of the ball resonating in your ears and feet simultaneously.
On top of that, a college basketball crowd puts several hundred dubiously sober students in prime position to mock, taunt, celebrate, wobble unsteadily, and wear varied animal costumes. The reduced number of games relative to the NBA, and the various ways in which you could succeed or fail heightens stakes. An NBA version of this MSU team is wondering whether it's worth making the playoffs just to get obliterated instead of clawing desperately to maintain a 22-year tourney streak. This turns up the volume further until a band-box arena in Vermont with maybe 3,000 people in it feels like a nuclear reactor during Championship Week.
Deleting that leaves you unsteady. The resulting season feels tangibly less real.
eight minutes to tip [Campredon]
When the confetti came down and Michigan paraded around a sign that said "2021 Big Ten Champions" I was happy, of course, but the emptiness of that building—the failure of several hundred people to appear on the court and mill around aimlessly—hit hard. A true and proper title celebration is far from the most important thing the pandemic has taken from us, but it could only be bittersweet to see Michigan be this team, to win this thing, 358 days after the 2020 Big Ten Tournament was shut down and Zavier Simpson skyhooks unceremoniously vanished into the G-League ether.
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You may have noticed that my output on this blog has dropped substantially. There have been more weekdays without a post from me in the past couple months than years-long blocks of time prior.
I have struggled. My weak connections to the people around me have been severed and the few strong ties leaned on unto their breaking point. A lack of reliance on other people has morphed from a marker of rugged individualism into a blank, gray loneliness. Existing addictions—mostly to video games, which I compulsively click at even when I am thinking about how boring this activity is—were exacerbated. Relationships strained. My personal life roiled until there was a sudden break. A look into an abyss, and a turning away from it.
I can't say the roiling has exactly stopped but at least I have a path I can see that leads forward. It is a repeated agony that it buckles and warps, cracks and shudders, rises and descends. Work gets put in and sometimes it seems like it amounts to nothing. But I suppose if Austin Davis can put Luka Garza in a blender, there is no depth that cannot be surmounted brick by brick.
This is a stupid and flimsy thing to latch onto, the actions of college players attempting to throw a ball through a hoop, but since a large part of this years-long slide was sitting on my computer staring at a football game I had no desire to comment on I'll take it and nestle it into place. Belief starts somewhere. An ability to take joy from other people starts somewhere.
Here at what feels like the end, or at least the beginning of the end, of being locked away from each other I have concluded that the only thing to do is get up in the morning and try again.
[After THE JUMP: a regular-ass bullets section! Like nothing even happened!]
BULLETS
The most accurate tweet. Ah yup:
Michigan basketball fans have the highest chill-to-stress ratio of any fanbase in the country. Michigan football fans have the opposite. These are almost 100% the same people. They're a fascinating psych experiment
— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) March 5, 2021
Celebrations. A brief roundup of things. Moe Wagner's instagram:
Mike Smith:
Mike Smith: "When I was on the ladder (cutting down the net), I told coach Howard I'd never been that high up and close to the rim."
— Daniel Dash (@DanielDash_) March 5, 2021
This hug got to me:
— ace (@AceAnbender) March 5, 2021
From Marc-Gregor:
[Campredon]
This was the best net-cutting photo but his entire set is amazing.
lol [Campredon]
Easy buckets and turnovers. Hunter Dickinson was so close to a monster game reminiscent of the first half of his season. Three buckets that were nearly back-to-back-to-back on Thomas Kithier looked and felt like the period of time he was putting in 75% of his shots. Going from Cockburn to Kithier must have felt like the first rain after a drought.
MSU didn't want to double because they got obliterated by Iowa when they swarmed Garza, but yeah even a wide open 3 isn't worth the same amount of EV that a virtually uncontested two-foot hook is.
Unfortunately, Dickinson had a spate of turnovers that were almost all unforced: a couple of fumbles out of bounds, a sloppy travel after receiving a post entry, etc. Getting a full-on Dickinson Smash game before the tournament would be nice.
Dickinson has also started to getting into some foul trouble because he's not being judicious enough at certain points. He picked up his second late in the first half when he switched onto Henry and Henry beat him with a jab step. Dickinson put his hands down on Henry for an and-one.
I'm sure this is an adjustment period as Michigan puts him in much more one-on-one coverage against guards and wings. Dickinson did endure a period at the beginning of the second half where everything MSU did was an attempt to put a third foul on him. They did not succeed.
First half ref show. Sometimes an ugly, foul-filled game is ugly and foul-filled because the teams are making it so. This one was not that. The ref show got started with Malik Hall's second foul, which was some harmless post jockeying after Mike Smith got switched onto him. A chintzy moving screen on Dickinson followed, and then we were off.
Bingham got hit on a post entry to Davis. Brown was called for a foul when he was vertically contesting Watts. Johns got a loose ball foul on a 50/50 rebound that fell to MSU anyway. Bingham got another ridiculous loose ball foul when Livers bumped into him a little, again on a rebound that fell to M anyway. Henry got hit for a mysterious foul when Livers tried to back him down. Johns got hit on a Langford screen flop. Wagner's foul immediately before getting elbowed was nonsense.
All of this was garbage that didn't need to be called, and when mixed in with a fairly normal number of actual fouls you had an ugly, disjointed first half. One wonders if there was a directive from the league office to clamp down given MSU's recent foul flurry and the Sissoko ejection.
And then the second half was completely different. Not everything has to be a Monty Python episode, guys.
a rare instance of chasing over [Campredon]
Ball screens: not for you. Michigan alternated between going under screens and icing them (overplaying them so that the ballhandler cannot use the screen) into one-on-one matchups with Dickinson. When Michigan went under MSU pulled up just once, when Henry (a 28% three point shooter) missed short and off line. This is something I probably should have called out in the preview: Henry, Langford, Hauser, and Brown have a total of 5 unassisted threes on the season. They barely shoot off the dribble.
Michigan did go over screens without a post switch a few times and gave up some looks at the rim. Livers in particular got driven past a couple times by hugging up on guys who are <30% three-point shooters. One of these was Henry's admittedly rad dunk. (Livers did offset this with a couple steals.)
Ball screens: for me. On the other end of the floor, Eli Brooks pulled up for three when Langford went under a screen before the first TV timeout. This was repeated by others.
MSU drop coverage was repeatedly exploited by Michigan in two ways: Mike Smith pull-up jumpers and dumpoffs to the roll guy. Turns out it's pretty hard to split the difference between the ballhandler and the roller when you are not easily mistaken for a mountain range, a la Kofi Cockburn. Brooks did put an attempted pass to Dickinson in the sideline when Bingham was out there; everyone else plainly lacked the size to deal.
The result. MSU took 31 midrange shots and hit 10. Game over. Henry and Langford combined to go 3/16. Some of these shots were incredible to watch. Rocket Watts managed to get an 18-footer up with 25 seconds left on the shot clock(!). He followed that up with a 15-footer with 17 seconds left after Dickinson switched on him in drop coverage. It was like the last 20 years of basketball had ceased to exist.
MSU's going to get some guys who can play on campus next year but I don't think a bounce-back is likely, at least not to the Big Ten championship contender level.
Brooks high off the glass. Eli Brooks has tried a wide array of tough shots this year, almost all of which have missed. In this game he was hitting. This shot hit the backboard here and went in:
Okay then. Look at this thing.
Zone blips. Michigan didn't use their zone much, probably because MSU was able to exploit the devolution into man a couple times. Henry would end up with the ball near the top of the key; Mike Smith ended up swapping into man coverage on him, and that ended up with a couple of easy buckets at the rim.
Later when Smith was able to get him to take a jumper it was the variety of jumper he's excellent at—one just outside the restricted circle. With two easy buckets in a handful of possessions (and another crossmatch against Eli Brooks that looked like it was headed the same way before Franz's gumby arms raked the ball out to force a turnover) it was clear that the zone wasn't a great idea in this game.
I think we can look directly at it now. Franz Wagner is now hitting 39% from three on the season. He's now hitting shots that seem like bad ideas, like the secondary transition three he took while seemingly off-balance, and off the dribble:
Oddly he seems like he's a little better a foot behind the line instead of right on it.
Computer says it's locked in. Bart Torvik's Teamcast allows you to project the rest of the season and see where you end up. Michigan's worst case scenario—back to back losses—does not budge them off the one line, or even down to the #4 one-seed. This is not a guarantee, of course, but Torvik has been pretty accurate historically.
Gird thyself. I don't think John Beilein's going to be on BTN much longer.
Hearing Boston College made a "strong" push for John Beilein, but he wasn't much interested. He does want to coach again, but there are expected to be DOZENS of openings in the coming weeks and he'll have his choice.
— Tony Paul (@TonyPaul1984) March 4, 2021
BC is keeping an eye on UM assistant Howard Eisley, a BC alum.
Brian Rauf is reporting that both Archie Miller and Richard Pitino are done at the end of the season. I'm at DEFCON2 for Beilein-to-Indiana. This feels way less bad since it looks like Juwan Howard is a home run hire, but it still feels bad.
Even the Illinois folks. Apparently the controversy about not playing a few of the worst teams in the league wasn't enough to swing the Illini fans away from a visceral distaste for Tom Izzo and company:
A little funny that there are kinda-sorta championship implications if Michigan loses and most of my feed is unabashedly happy that Michigan State is losing. Yes, let the hate flow through you.
— Steve (@IlliniToffee) March 5, 2021
It's earned.
I want to second this sentiment. I have been dealing with the "inactivity" problem presented by this pandemic quite a bit because so many of my high school athletes had fallen into a rut of playing video games, not working out, etc. The kids who have NOT come to workouts regularly are depressed, out of shape, lacking confidence, etc. I'm very concerned about their mental stability and have had multiple conversations with guidance counselors, administrators, etc.
EXERCISE and GETTING OUTDOORS are two necessities of life. Don't take them for granted. Go for a walk, lift weights, play hockey if you can, go sit outside when it's warm enough, get some sun, etc.
I am in a pretty good place mentally, and I think it's largely because of two reasons: 1) I go for long walks regularly and play basketball with friends a couple times a month and 2) my role as a coach helps me find belonging and purpose as a part of a group.
Good luck, Brian. I appreciate you and your work.
I will third the motion. I go on daily walks and it's the best stress reliever I've ever had.
Fully concur. A couple of things have really helped me and my family through this entire ordeal:
1. Having a few good friends to still hang out with. As soon as things started to shut down 12 months ago, my family + two of our close neighbors agreed to "quarantine" or isolate together. We would only associate with each other, not have close contacts with any other outside groups, etc. This allowed us and our kids to still get together every day and maintain those important social connections. One of the best decisions we've ever made.
2. Exercise. I run when I can, but especially for the cold winter months I bought an indoor bike trainer. I still try to ride outdoors whenever possible, but having the indoor trainer and especially using Zwift has been such a difference maker for maintaining exercise. Indoor bike trainers are normally horrifically boring, but using Zwift makes a huge difference. Highly recommend. I'm now running/riding every day and it has been great for staying healthy. My wife goes for a walk every day with the two neighbor moms from our quarantine group, and the 7 kids have to go along and ride their bikes. It's a great routine, keeps everyone active and outside for at least part of the day.
Magnus- this is excellent advice. With the caveat that everyone is different, over many years I have found that physical exercise is a consistent and reliable way to manage/avoid depression. This can be as simple as walking around the block at a good pace, to all manner of more strenuous exercise.
I walk a lot (having a dog helps) but even without. I also lift weights (which isn't for everyone, but again it doesn't have to be with expensive equipment). I meet a friend once a week for an extended walk, during which we discuss anything and everything and when it is done we reward ourselves with a coffee and bagel (or donut).
I will also echo the importance of getting outside. I walked over 300 miles outside between April and November of 2020. It saved my sanity. This year, I started in February.
Brian, you are at your best when your writing is raw, unfiltered and personal.
Thanks for this; I think you captured the emotions of many of us here on the blog.
Is it too much to ask that Beilein take any job he wants, outside of the Big Ten. It just feels wrong and will likely taint my love for him in the long run. I know its a business and all that but I do not get it.
I'd be fine if he went to Indiana (or anywhere) because he helped turn UM into a national power and he's earned the right to be happy for a bit. I do wonder if he doesn't look outside the conference, though, because (frankly) there are better jobs out there in terms of stress and ceiling that Indiana.
Yeah, I don't want to lose to him and I don't want to root against him.
Go to the ACC and wreak havoc there.
Yes it is. That man gave so much to this university
What is up with the refs? The last few games have been total whistle-fests in the first halves, while the second halves have actually seen them let the kids play and establish some sort of rhythm. I hate that this is becoming a thing.
In the last 10 seasons, Michigan basketball has:
- Hung banners in more seasons than they didn't
- Won the Big Ten regular season title three times (two outright)
- Made the National Title game twice
- Regularly beaten our rivals
I'm pretty sure Michigan football fans would be a lot more chill if the football team spent the next 10 years approaching that level of success.
Even when we had football success, we were not chill. We were never chill.
I think the story with basketball is that Michigan's success (which objectively has been greater than our football success over the last 50 years) has been made up of tremendous highs interrupted with long sustained lows.
This made basketball success feel like a transient gift. Something to be enjoyed until it goes away. Never something to be expected. Certainly not something to be stressed over.
It will be interesting to see if we revert to our football stress form if basketball achieves sustained success over time, and that success is expected, not just appreciated.
I think we all know the answer.
Agreed except for the part about Michigan basketball having greater success than U-M football over the last 50 years. It's actually not even close, except in the other direction.
The fairest yardstick is Big Ten regular season titles. Basketball has 7 over that span. Football has 20.
Basketball seems more successful because there are a variety of ways for the season to feel like a success, like making an NCAA run (or winning the league tournament) after finishing 4th or 5th in the conference. Not fair to hold it against football that success is defined so narrowly.
Depends on what you are looking for. Basketball has had a lot of A+'s (and a lot of C's and D's) over time, while football has had a lot of B+'s (and far fewer C's and D's).
Basketball has hit the highest level a number of times, football has seldom broken through.
Purdue in basketball has been like we have traditionally been in football . . . lots of conference championships, but then falters at the highest level against the elite teams.
Again it depends on what you are looking for over time: B+ consistency versus A+ highs and C+ lows. But I do know that Purdue would kill for our version of basketball success FWIW.
Just to be complete, Michigan has also won the Big Ten Tournament twice in different years from when they won their regular season championships.
Michigan has also made the NCAA tournament field in 8 of the past 9 tournaments, and in 9 of the past 11. They've only missed in 2010 and 2015.
Sidenote: Michigan also missed the tournament in 2020 b/c there was no tournament, but that's a weird and random 5 year cadence.
Brian,
I don't know if you ever brave the comments, but thank you for sharing with us the challenges you've been facing. The irony of loneliness is that we are all together in being alone. I'll share my own recent experience as well.
I finally spoke to my primary care doctor about some feelings of depression after a couple years of dismissing it as "just dealing with life", and from an outsider's POV I live a pretty idyllic life. My trigger was two specific instances where I suddenly (figuratively) fell into a dark hole and felt like I was clinging on to a wall and barely able to hold on. Thoughts of suicide were involved. He administered the depression assessment test (standard and available online for those curious) and it turns out I'm suffering from major to severe depression.
Putting a label on it was both liberating and sobering. Fast forward a couple months and I'm on some meds, talking to a counselor, and improving a ton. As a control freak and someone from a culture where feelings are not discussed, it was incredibly hard for me to admit I needed help and humbling to need medication to help me rebalance. But life (personal and professional) is already so much better.
Anyway, good luck to you as you work through your issues. If you haven't yet, please do consider talking to your PCP and researching more deeply what's going on.
I have been reading this blog for a long time but rarely comment or interact with it much anymore but I wanted to leave a quick note and say that I really appreciate all the work that goes into MGoBlog and wish all the writers and staff the best.
I have never been as disconnected from sports as I have been during the pandemic. A year ago so much was being cancelled or postponed and it just seemed less important. Michigan football got to be so depressing that I just stopped watching. As a Steelers fan I got to see an 11-0 start flushed down the toilet and I just wasn't in the mood for more of that. I have followed the Michigan basketball team from afar as it were; not really watching it on TV but checking in on games online and enjoying recaps here, etc.
It seems kind of sad that I haven't been able to be plugged into this incredible run but when it started it seemed to much of a risk to fully commit to it (and basketball isn't my favorite sport to begin with). Maybe that makes me a casual fan but so be it.
I feel very blessed given all the resources I have in terms or work, family, etc. I have been able to go out to eat and interact in ways that I know others have not been able to do. But the start of this year was tough. Spring has given me some hope and I am excited to see where this team can go. I wish it was a regular year but I will have to take what I can get.
Anyways, again, Brian wishing you all the best. Hope you can build on the seeds of joy and find the groove again soon.
Two thoughts:
1. Hang in there Brian and everyone else out there who is struggling. I run high on the anxiety scale with a healthy dose of depressive episodes (maybe seasonally exacerbated?) sprinkled in. The last few weeks have been excruciatingly bad. But as trite as it sounds, M sports and MGoBlog have been my go-to source of escapism and happiness, even when the teams are not performing optimally (football, anyone?!). Thanks for your hard work all of these years. And thanks to UM mens hoops for providing plenty of light amidst lots of darkness.
2. I will never root against John Beilein.
Brian, thank you for writing about your struggles. A lot of us are feeling some kind of thing during this pandemic. As others have mentioned, you have provided an outlet for so many of us, and I sincerely hope that lifts your spirits a bit. Thank you for what you do.
I found it very odd to celebrate last night, too. I was looking for some sort of affirmation of this good thing. When I saw none (or very little), it was a sharp reminder that this thing called Michigan athletics that I put so much into really doesn't have an affect on my daily life. At least pre-pandemic it provided an opportunity to connect and bond with others. I hope those days return soon!
As for the game, I was more anxious about winning by a lot and not a little. The outcome was never a question - imagine that for an MSU game!
Co-sign. Brian, you and MGo have brought me so much laughter, joy and insight while also accurately expressing the ennui that comes with being a Michigan fan
Have been suffering through mild but very long term depression. So mild and for so long, I thought it was normal, till I realized I needed help. Given that unsolicited advice is in many ways the worst, I'd just say - get support, be patient, stay focused on what's in front of you, don't think too much, make effort at every moment of the day to avoid negative thoughts and turn them into positives, make an effort to do things you enjoy, even if it's just a little.
That said, I truly appreciate not just the writing, but the ethos of this blog. That it is a blog and not a sports website, not a "news" source per se, that it's independent, that it isn't insiders and can say what it wants instead of what the AD wants, that it does what it wants and is free not to do what it doesn't want. People forget that about this blog sometimes.
It's what makes this blog good media vs. bad media, it's a medium between Michigan sports and me, through the pure lens of real people with intelligence, talent and integrity. You guys help me make sense of something I enjoy and I am grateful. Thank you!
I would LOVE to see John Beilein get back into Coaching and win a Natty even it was at Indiana.
Brian, sorry that things have accumulated so heavily upon you. Take care of yourself, I’ve been there as well. Your loved ones love you, don’t be afraid to let them embrace you
hi Brian -
It's weird - you have no idea who many of us are, but we feel like we know you. Celebrity, of some kind, I guess is like that. And I think like many of said -- this place has been an amazing and uniquely Michigan thing that you've created. Hang in there! It is very tough for anyone with little kids at home right now (much less in general). You'll get through it. And reach out for help if you need it - I'm sure many would step up.
Take care.
Keep going Brian.
With the exception of one preseason event in NYC that Brian held, I do not know of having met anyone of this site. Yet I still feel very connected to it and the people who post here. Especially from hearing Brian, Seth and Ace on the podcasts, I kind of feel like a know them a little. It’s be a long hard year with a lot of loss. Coming to the site has been something that makes me still feel a little connected. The podcasts give me some good laughs and help with the realization that other parents of small kids are struggling too. I hope that you realize that you are helping others.
Copied from the board post:
This thread is bringing out some of the old guard!
Let me just echo what many others have said, this is the best site on the internet. It is easily my most non-youtube visited site. I don't consider my game experience over until reading the post-game recap. And then having at least one, often times multiple, breakdowns of every game each and every week has me so spoiled.
I have had various bouts with depression throughout my life. One of which directly led to my relationship with my son's mom dissolving. That darkness can be a real bitch. In my experience, there are always brighter days on the other side, even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.
You are the voice of Michigan sports.
Para-social relationship and all, but I love ya man.
The last 12 months have been an interesting journey. I got the chance to spend a lot more time with my family, time to go for walks whenever I want. No commute. No traffic. But mood swings have been more frequent as well.
All of us walk our own walks. I am also sure that we would find people walking along the same path, even if for a little while.
I wait for Brian's takes after every game, football or basketball. It feels empty otherwise. You do make a difference Brian! Stay positive. Your loved ones need you.
Brian,
I wanted to add to the chorus. This past year has been incredibly difficult for any number of reasons. The exact reason why will vary from person to person. I found myself in the weird position of having a job, but being unable to really do it. I was keeping things moving along, but you could see the wheels starting to come off the track. I got to a better place. Not the same place before this whole mess, but one where the walls weren't closing in. I truly hope you can find a similar spot.
If it helps in your journey; this matters. This blog is a place I've come to for years to feel better when I need a laugh. Sports are weird, and I think my kid finds it odd in the extreme that when a ball goes through a hoop or doesn't it effects my mood somehow. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does. Your blog glorifying and amplifying the things that makes sports special matters to people. You do a worthwhile thing and your effort enriches the lives of so many people you'll never meet.
So thank you and feel better.
Brian - I hope you get some peace soon with all this craziness - I love this Blog and appreciate it when you pop in. Take Care hombre - here is to hoping you get in another epic photo bomb before 2021 comes to a close.
Logging in just to comment on this post.
Brian, I encountered this blog back in 2005 (I think? brain's getting creaky) as I was mid-season in my final year in the marching band. There isn't a single post that's gone by that I haven't appreciated your writing style and content, as well as the people you've employed for the love of Michigan sports. Thank you for the energy you've put in, as well as for your vulnerability in this latest post. Please do not feel guilty if you need to take time for yourself, or if you haven't been able to put in as much energy as you would like.
Elise
Another in the silent majority of long time lurkers wishing the best for you and your family Brian. As many have written, the work you do here has been a big part of the solution to my own struggles with a year in quarantine. Glad to hear you're working through issues - confronting them is often the hardest bit.
Thank you so much for all you and your teammates do!
Brian,
As a board lurker since summer of 2008 who took 2 years to put a ring on it and start posting as a user, I honestly no longer remember what it was like to root for Michigan sports absent the codification here of all the feelings I had and the technical analysis I didn't. I don't get closure on any football game until I read through the game column and listen to the podcast.
Put simply, Michigan sports without MGoBlog would be like... basketball without a crowd. Not insignificant, but emptier and less worthwhile.
Didn't expect to read that first part. You gotta wife, two kids, and a well respected business. There's a lot to be happy about. Hope it's just the winter blahs and you find the joy in life again.
Thank you, Brian, for MGoBlog, which has been the internet home for my Michigan fandom, lo, these many years. I'm sorry that the quality of Michigan football hasn't measured up to the quality of your writing, which keeps me and many others coming back. I appreciate you, and the long hours you've put into doing UFRs, which help make sense of what happened, much better than the thin analysis one might find in sports media.
Thanks for assembling a staff of quality writers which also keep me coming back, and can carry some of the load for you.
I hope things get better for you in your personal life. Keep on truckin', MGoBrother.
To echo what many are eloquently saying here, this blog has gotten many of us through some very dark times, in the last year and before that. And yes, Brian is a fantastic writer and what a bonus that he happens to write about our favorite subject!
Thank you for having the courage to say what you have here Brian. And thank you Seth and Ace, for keeping the blog running smoothly and keeping this wonderful free content machine rolling along.
Thanks, Brian. Always great to read your work.
I hope you're doing okay sorting out your personal stuff.
Brian,
You have been a hero of mine for as long as I can remember following M sports online. I am sorry to hear of your struggles. Please know that you have immense value to this fan, and that I enjoyed meeting you in person several years ago. You are a celebrity - you don't have anything to prove in this. Delegating MGoBlog to others is perfectly acceptable as often as needed. You built this and we have come. Concentrate on yourself and your own needs as much as possible - we adore you.
Most of the life is just a series of toys you play with that are initially interesting, then less so. That first GI Joe for example. Two weeks later, not so interesting. That first date, first job, first paycheck, marriage, cars, houses, hobbies, and yes, unfortunately, even Michigan sports. Little by little, they all get less interesting as time passes. Some call this maturing.
I'm in my 50s now and still follow the teams religiously, but with age the enthusiasm has waned. Not that I didn't stand up as the clock struck zero yesterday and shout out a "woooohoooo!" top of lungs with arms raised. Of course I did.
I think what Brian is going through isn't just Covid related, but also just, well, maturity. Eventually he'll be done with this blog "toy" and likely pass the baton to someone younger with fresher enthusiasm. Will be a sad day for Michigan sports.
A national championship sure would help us old timers feel like kids again though, I'll tell you that.
Love you, Brian. Take care of yourself man
Win the next game. Have even more nice things. Brian has made the world a much better place.
Brian – I’ll echo the many other people here that have expressed their gratitude to you and sent their good wishes. I appreciate you giving a voice to the loneliness and struggles that so many are experiencing. My first thought when I read your post was that I hope you are doing a lot more writing because you have keen insights and a beautiful voice.
I don’t know if this will be helpful to anyone but it has helped me. I remember some presentation that talked about 3 tiers of dealing with stress or unhappiness:
Tier 1 includes items that provide an immediate distraction like playing video games or having ice cream or a beer. These can become negative if they are your only coping mechanism.
Tier 2 includes items that help you better deal with the stress like going for a walk or talking to a friend
Tier 3 includes addressing the root cause of the stress whether it be a job, a relationship, etc.
I’m half introvert so I haven’t had as much trouble coping over the last year as some have but I think this year has been tough on everyone. A couple of things that have helped me the most:
- I have been volunteering for some UM programs that benefit seniors. I started volunteering with this group because I wanted to surround myself with positive, optimistic people
- I started gardening. There is something very satisfying with watching something grow from seeds and nurturing it. I got my neighbor hooked so we often trade notes on tomatoes and make plans to deal with the chipmunks that are plaguing us
- I have a regular appointment with my sister to do online learning a couple times a week. We pick a course and watch/ listen together and then discuss
- I’ve started playing guitar (badly) which is even more fun if you know other people who are learning who will trade riffs/ videos
I hope you find some things that work for you.
Peace
I want to thank you for your courage and candour in saying this out loud. Until this year I hadn't realized how important people saying that they too were broken would be to me. The normalization of being sad, feeling alone and just depression has been to me. It helps, just like friends who normalized therapy for me. Thank you for saying it here in this space. Be well
Brian, I have not commented on the blog, but it is often read to me by my husband (he tells me that I am what is called ‘wife material’). I have seen my husband, our son-in-law, and our son bond over your work. That is a real gift. Keep that in mind. There are a lot of people you don’t know that care about you. Including my husband who read your article to me this evening. (And yes, I can tell you that the 1979 Indiana game was fantastic).
Best wishes to Brian Cook and his family. I don't pretend to have any answers but I've been a fan of your writing and blog for a long time. Thank you for all your work (and it's work). Life can be brutal; I'm with you in succumbing to the struggles but there's always tomorrow. We try again
Brian you have made a tremendous impact in creating this product. The only downside I can see is the adverse effect this blog has caused on productivity in business and industry across the US.
During the last year we have aged ten and regressed five. There are days when the sun shines but we do not see it or feel it’s warmth.
Perhaps we just need to get wild and have pizza.
Pizza House or Cottage Inn?
Brian: just wanted to chip in my $.02 and add to what others have said: mgoblog is highly addictive because of your great writing, creativity, and objective homerism. At times funny, at times ruthlessly analytical, at times winsome and reflective, I always look forward to your content.
Whatever you are dealing with, please know you are not alone. I know that sounds trite but it is true. We are all rooting hard for you to figure it out and heal up however necessary.
Kudos and Godspeed
Brian, first of all, I’m really sorry for the toll that this has taken on you. We are all muddling through in our own ways and I’m sorry it has been like this for you and your family. Thank you for your honesty and transparency.
Others have made this point more eloquently than I can, but please don’t ever doubt the significance you have to this group. You are therapist, counselor and some type of shaman in this bizarre world of sports insanity. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been unable to articulate my rage / despair / longing about Michigan sports and I will read your work and think, “Yes. That’s it. Thank you, Brian.”
The only other thing I’d like to tell you is a bit odd. I almost died last year (It had nothing to do with COVID but because of a complication from a surgery). As those types of things often do, it has changed my world view a little. I am more patient with the pace of the pandemic but probably because just being in the house and, you know, not being dead seems like a much better deal than it did 8 months ago. It has certainly made me all the more appreciative of every day and hopeful for the days ahead. It hasn’t taken away from my love of Michigan sports (I listened to the MGoBlog podcast on the Minnesota game from the hospital!!!). I was gleefully celebrating the Big 10 Title on Thursday, but rather than feel disappointed by the lack of fans, I was entranced by the singularity of it all. Other teams will win titles, but nobody is going to ever win one like this! To quote former Michigan President Lee Bollinger the night before the 1998 Rose Bowl, it was “an unrepeatable moment.” With almost checking out, I now feel like the floor is higher on my mental health and the ceiling is astronomical.
I really think you will be better soon. Like so many have said, getting out and walking is a gigantic help. But the metaphor of just putting one foot in front of the other is good in life too. Just get out and do. Because we are all Michigan fans and therefore pretty esoteric, I’ll close with my favorite quote from Immanuel Kant, “Rules for Happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.”
Good luck - and I give you this title sincerely - my friend.
Cx
Brian this blog has gotten me through so many rough times over the past 10 years. It's my favorite place on the internet, bar none, and the haven that you've created for Michigan fandom is incredible.
Good luck and go blue.
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