Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me To Nebraska Edition
Back for another week of "Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me to." Apologies for the tardiness MaizeBlueA2 xoxo. A win all but assures undefeated going into East Lansing and makes for a nice bye week.
My leadoff:
Win will cause me to: Submit a petition to have Nebraskans call corn "maize"
Loss will cause me to: Hey whats that game with the ice and sticks?
This week NFG gets added to wall of fame for honestly feeling the same as most of us
Washington Winner:
Win will cause me to: Have a nice big pour of Basil Hayden, open all the windows, and blast the fight song.
Loss will cause me to: Shut off all the lights, still a big pour of Basil Hayden, and then probably wont leave the house for a week or so.
NIU Winner:
Win will cause me to: get irrationally excited about a less daunting B1G schedule than anticipated
Loss will cause me to: look under the bed for Rocky Lombardi
Rutgers Winner:
Win: I'll take a big steamy dump
Loss: same as a win but it will be in my pants
Wisconsin winner:
Win: take back all the mean things I’ve said about the coach with respect to the Rutgers gameplan
Loss: rip my soul into seven pieces and having those seven piece latch onto 7 random objects so I can liver forever in pain and agony
October 9th, 2021 at 10:23 AM ^
Well, it's a good thing you checked in - someone in an earlier thread left a message looking for you...
Now, as for my answers:
A win will cause me to: sit back and relax for a couple weeks since now our biggest game will be Northwestern, having won the game that everyone thought would be the biggest.
A loss will cause me to: dislike corn far more than I already do. Like, demand that stores remove it from the shelves dislike...
October 9th, 2021 at 10:30 AM ^
Win will cause me to sign up for Carfax.
Loss will cause to join internet Raj's therapy group for fax hmm... Fox syndrome.
October 9th, 2021 at 10:31 AM ^
Win: Happily eat Runza sandwiches and drink beers.
Loss: Angrily eat Runza sandwiches and drink beers.
October 9th, 2021 at 11:02 AM ^
Win will cause me to: Eat the shit out of some corn.
Loss will cause me to: Eat the corn out of my shit.
October 9th, 2021 at 11:05 AM ^
A win will cause me to take a break from the family stuff keeping me from the game a second week so I can chortle in glee. I haven’t had a good chortle in a long time.
A loss will cause me to do what your title indicated, to Nebraska. I haven’t taken a good Nebraska in a week.
October 9th, 2021 at 11:11 AM ^
Win will cause me to do as the Michiganders do and clench my butt for (checks notes) oh wait never mind
Loss will cause me to do as the Nebraskans do and shuck some corn
October 9th, 2021 at 11:22 AM ^
A loss will cause me to undertake ass.
October 9th, 2021 at 11:23 AM ^
A win will cause me to wear more M gear in my travels around Nebraska.
A loss will cause me to wipe with ears of corn for a year.
October 9th, 2021 at 11:38 AM ^
A win will cause me to pump my fist, and have a beer.
A loss will cause me to shrug, and have a beer.
October 9th, 2021 at 11:40 AM ^
A win will cause me to: eat some corn with my wife and child while thinking, “This is a-maize-ing, what did I do to deserve this!?”
A loss will cause me to: eat some corn with my wife and child while thinking, “This shucks, what did I do to deserve this!?”
October 9th, 2021 at 11:51 AM ^
A win will cause me to try and fail to make a funny joke about Scott Frost with a cat in a corn outfit memes.
A loss will cause me to make an unintentionally hilarious post in all four snowflake threads.
October 9th, 2021 at 12:04 PM ^
Win: drive 20 miles out of my way to the nearest Wendy's to order an extra large Frosty
Loss: thank my wife for dragging me to a wedding tonight, so at least I didn't have to see it happen live.
October 9th, 2021 at 12:10 PM ^
Win will cause me to: Look through Twitter to see how many people will move the goalposts because “it’s just Nebraska”
Loss will cause me to: look through Twitter to see how many people will be campaigning to fire Jim Harbaugh for Scott Frost.
October 9th, 2021 at 12:26 PM ^
Win will cause me to: Thank Michael Barrett for keeping us in his good graces.
Loss will cause me to: Move to the Caymans and wait for Urban Meyer.
October 9th, 2021 at 12:29 PM ^
Yes!! Phew!
Okay...let's go.
As I said last week, last week was really the start of this...especially if you had Michigan losing to Washington or Wisconsin.
So a win? It'll cause me to hold my breath for the injury report...praying that we go into the bye with same status we have going into this Nebraska game. Do that and this team has a real shot to get through the toughest part of the schedule unbeaten.
I don't even want to think about a loss. This game and MSU pretty much make or break the season.
Don't care how we do it, just win. If it's Rutgers 2.0, that's fine. If it's Wisconsin? Ever better. Just win.
Edit: oh, and xoxoxo
October 9th, 2021 at 12:47 PM ^
Win: Jump up and down like Pat Fitzgerald did on the 2013 sideline vs Michigan moments before his soul left his body.
Loss: Officially change my name to CORNelius Karo, and then start a speaking tour of American high schools across the land persuading and encouraging kids, and anyone who will listen, to adopt a high corn, high carb, high fructose corn-syrup diet until parents lash out in anger, beat me up and run me out of town on a rail.
October 9th, 2021 at 1:30 PM ^
Win will cause me to put rum in my Sunday morning coffee
Loss will cause me to drink rum Sunday morning instead of coffee.
October 9th, 2021 at 1:34 PM ^
We are not going to lose to this bullshit Nebraska team with their bullshit coach and his bullshit mom.
October 9th, 2021 at 2:27 PM ^
Win will cause me to: eat popcorn and drink seltzer.
Loss will cause me to: eat popcorn and drink scotch.
October 9th, 2021 at 2:58 PM ^
Win will cause me to eat corn on the cob with the fancy little poker tools to grip each end.
Loss will cause me to eat corn on the cob, but with a slippery, buttery grip of sadness instead.
October 9th, 2021 at 3:03 PM ^
A win will cause me to: Point and laugh at Scott Frost. I mean, what else is there to do?
A loss will cause me to: Study the upcoming hockey schedule.
October 9th, 2021 at 3:32 PM ^
Win: Eat corn chips
Loss: Eat paint chips
October 9th, 2021 at 4:20 PM ^
Win will have me considering bringing out my Michigan golf bag again.
Loss will make me remember why I put it in the attic in the first place.
October 9th, 2021 at 4:21 PM ^
Winning will cause me to
*Jim Halpert satisfied gif*
Losing will cause me to
*Mykayla not impressed gif*
October 9th, 2021 at 5:48 PM ^
Win : It’s looking like a 1-2 loss season to me
Loss : It’s looking like a 3-5 loss season to me
October 9th, 2021 at 7:36 PM ^
Win: I'll shout and jump for joy, while trying not to scare my dog.
Loss: I'll shout and jump in anger, while trying not to scare my dog.