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Ain't nobody got time for…

Ain't nobody got time for that noncents!

.

I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.

That's, "The Pen Is Mightier"

Well, gussy it up however you will Trebek, the question is, does it work? Will it mighty my penis, man?!

Seriously

That was vile, on so many levels. Truly, jaw-droppingly awful. Not just the dirty hit, but the fact that he stands over the guy he may have just crippled and taunts him.

Fuck JuJu. Now and forever. I officially hate that prick.

Sure

Fire Harbaugh if he doesn't make the B1G Championship next year. That makes sense. Because taking a team that's essentially been in the toilet for a decade to the conference championship in four years is something anyone should be able to do.

Who do they hire next? And how long does that person get? Another four years? Or is that too long since they've had some decent recruiting success? Maybe only 2 for the next guy?

Of course, they could just hire you. You seem smart. I'm sure you could win a National Championship on year one.

Truth

But I bet none of them got a heart felt apology and a hand up. So, at least I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

My Cool Story Bro

Was walking down South U one eve with a friend of mine in '05. We saw Jake, he's a bit hard to miss, with someone neither of us recognized walking the same direction ahead of us. Another player or just a friend, I can't say. Jake was obviously telling a story, and we just decided to pass by them without being all wierd fans. So, we're passing them and just then Jake swings his arms out as part of his story telling and the back of his left hand hits me square in the chest.

No joke, I flew through the air. And, to quote Agent J, "it hurt." Super nice guy, he clearly felt bad about it, although it was totally not his fault.

Technical Foul

The only acceptable drink while watching The Big Lebowski is a white russian.

Me, I'm putting down vodka tonics. Which, as I pour them, is pretty much vodka rocks, with a splash of tonic.

That sucks

I'm sorry for your loss.

As a side note, I'm one of those that fucking hate the phrase, "Walmart Wolverine." Seriously, fuck that. If you love my team, you're a friend to me. I don't give a shit if you went to UM or not.

meh

Thing is, Sparty plays dirty pool. They've always played dirty, and over the last 5 to 10 years they've only gotten worse. They tend to get away with it, and it often wins them games.

Is that good coaching? I mean, I guess, "keep holding until you get called for it" could be considered a solid coaching move. I think it's just being okay with being a dick, but ymmv.

So uh

What the actual fuck

Are we RCMB now? Have we really sunk so low?

The offense is struggling, nobody would dispute that. QB play has been... not good, Bob. O-line needs work. These are all true things. But you... I mean... really?!

This is a 1 loss team we're talking about. You know who else has 1 loss? OSU, Clemson, Oklahoma, Wazu, shall I go on?

I'm worried about next week, for sure. I'm worried about Wisconsin. I'm terrified about those hooting jackals down south. What I am not going to do, what I will never do, is go on a public forum and call the kids who are playing for my university's team, "trash". You need to seriously take a deep breath and chill the fuck out. Or, you know, stop drinking and go to bed.

Also, I know people on this board tend to overplay the whole grammar and spelling police thing, but sweet holy shit, man, if you want to vent spleen in an absurd rant at least try and proofread that shit.

Logged in

just to upvote.

You sir, win the internet today.

Dimo's

FTW.

 

Or

an actual cannibal?

#MichiganDifference

#MichiganDifference

(No subject)

Guesses

98: Woodson

93: Grbac

89: Hoard

81: AC

My Hawt Take

People are generally going to say coaches are least impactful in sports they know the least about. Just a guess.

I would agree that football ranks highest given the criteria in the OP, but then again, I'm most into football of any team sport, so may be falling victim to the same bias I'm talking about.

Except

You know, decide who's pitching...

Yel

llllooooooooooooo

wait...

"As far as his injury, we'll never know, although I'd assume that JH would not play a guy who can't make the majority of passes."

How does this make any sense at all? Okay, so Harbaugh decides not to play him because he's too injured to 'make the majority of passes', then who does he play? O'Korn? Because he looked so spectacular at Iowa? Morris? Seriously, what other option was there?

I mean, call it an indictment of the other options rather than an endorsement of Speight if you need to, but that doesn't change the underlying assumption that Speight's play was impacted by injury.

Look...

I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.

Phone

You mean the current site? Sure, you can read it on your phone, but the page layout is far from optimized for reading on a smaller screen.

Can be read on a mobile device != mobile friendly.

Outstanding

That is the best news I've heard all day. Thanks!

Yeah

All five of you. It would be tragic.

Please

Pretty please make the new site mobile friendly.

Nope

Weinke was 25 when he started at FSU. He was 28 when he won the Heisman though, so he's the oldest to get that.

Also, also remember

Sometimes, ya just gotta unleash your inner Grossman.

Ah yes

The ol' Spider 2 Y Banana play.

Yes

All single engine planes must have a survivable glide ratio to be certified as air-worthy by the FAA. On top of that, unless you're flying an aerobatics plane, there isn't going to be a parachute available. So there is zero possibility that a small plane pilot is ever going to jump out of the plane voluntarily because of something mechanical. Even if the thing is actively on fire, you're taught to kill the fuel supply to the engine and glide it to the nearest field, road, river, clearing in the woods, whatever.

I take it you didn't follow the link

From the article:

"The incident occurred around 8:50 p.m. Oct. 30, 2016 . . . After an investigation, a warrant was issued for Cooper’s arrest and it was executed on Nov. 30 without incident."

EDIT: I realize now you were making a joke about not making a bowl. Got it, my bad.

Um... We're talking about the same Payton that assaulted a trainer, right?
Yeah I felt really old the first time I looked at one of those signs in a bar that says, "you must have been born before X" and realized I was legally drinking then.
The Michigan Difference(tm)

The Michigan Difference(tm)

Game over

with that completion

Looks like Vegas called Houston is supposed to get the big upset, I guess. The flags thrown in this one have been almost completely one sided.
I swear to god

I will pistol-whip the next guy who says "shenanigans"!

Well

Swinney's first full year as Clemson HC was 2009. Let's wait until somewhere around 2022ish before we start comparing him to Harbaugh at Michigan.

And, for the record, Swinney's first two full years at Clemson were 9-5 and 6-7. So... yeah.

No

The recieving team has the option to take possession at the spot of the illegal touch. Which, of course, they would always take. Unless they are coached by a complete idiot. Maybe someone whose name rhymes with "Baldwell." I dunno, just spitballing here.

Incorrect

Rule 6, Article 3b:

Any other touching by Team A is illegal touching, a violation that, when the
ball becomes dead, gives the receiving team the privilege of taking the ball
at the spot of the violation
 
 
NTTAWWT

NTTAWWT

Eddie

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?

True

but Staee more than made up for them.

With all due respect

spoken like someone who's never tried to drive the length of Florida.

stats

68% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Fuck you, punt

Fuck you to pieces.

Well

fuck

Diagram

Clicking the diagram doesn't embiggen. It just opens the same sized image in a new window.

Logged in just to upvote this

Logged in just to upvote this post. I wish I could upvote it more. Well said, sir. Well said indeed.

Congratulations

You win the internet today!