Winning and losing, winning and dying
My dad has cancer, and he will until the day he dies, be it from the cancer or, God willing, my mother.
It was a year and a half ago that he was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. Fuck cancer.
My dad played under Bo on scholarship. He is a humble man and would quickly point out that he didn't play much, given the talent around him, but he cherished that time and learned more in a few years than I could hope to learn in a lifetime.
He recently underwent a bone marrow transplant and is doing well. During his recovery, my brother kindly arranged for Jack Harbaugh to pay him a visit. Jack was his position coach, and they spent several hours reminiscing about their time and football on general. Jack was the most gracious man you could meet, offering his home to my mom and anyone else who might need a place to stay while Dad recovered. He was incredible.
One thing that stands out to me is their conversation about how the game has changed. Motivations tend to be less about the team, the game itself is so complex, etc.
My fondest memories of my dad's stories of Bo are about how he was the penultimate motivator; he knew what each player, individually, needed to hear to be his best. He, quite literally, drew the best out of every player he coached, and connected with them personally, even those (like my dad) who weren't stars on the field. He was a molder of young men.
I showed my dad this clip once, and he immediately felt Bo's spirit. "That IS football, it's the inches," e'dh say.
I love Michigan football and have felt the BPONE, some of which had been attributed to my dad's predicament, but NO MORE. I hope any and all players find this, and the coaches draw from the raw inspiration. This game is simple- do YOUR JOB and win YOUR INCHES, and trust that the man next to you will do the same.
FUCK BPONE. FUCK CANCER. WE WILL WIN THIS GAME, INCHES AT A TIME!!
September 20th, 2019 at 10:59 PM ^
If Michigan wins that'd be nice. If your dad wins, that'd be awesome.
September 20th, 2019 at 10:59 PM ^
Dammit, winning and losing, living and dying. Son of a...
September 20th, 2019 at 11:05 PM ^
I'm sorry for your dad's condition - that is tough, I know.
But I love the attitude. The inches are all around us!
Full speech text: http://essaysfromexodus.scripting.com/stories/storyReader$1492
Go blue! My thoughts are with you and your family.
September 20th, 2019 at 11:09 PM ^
Your Dad and Michigan football have already won.
Go Blue.
September 20th, 2019 at 11:18 PM ^
Great stuff man. Sorry about your dad’s diagnosis. He sounds like a truly remarkable man - and will leave a legacy with you and future generations. Go blue buddy.
September 20th, 2019 at 11:36 PM ^
Good post. I have thoughts about the motivation topic as it relates to the current state of the program, but I'll reserve them for tomorrow's coaching snowflakes thread.
Best wishes to your dad in his fight against cancer, and as always, go Blue.
September 20th, 2019 at 11:38 PM ^
Ready to run through a wall after this. Well done and well written
September 20th, 2019 at 11:39 PM ^
Damn. Thanks for sharing this. You've got a great dad.
September 20th, 2019 at 11:39 PM ^
Damn. Thanks for sharing this. You've got a great dad.
September 20th, 2019 at 11:42 PM ^
If Bo was the penultimate motivator, who got the team fired up after Bo was done speaking?
September 21st, 2019 at 12:20 AM ^
+1. Penultimate means second to last.
September 21st, 2019 at 6:00 AM ^
-1 being a grammar guy on a cancer thread
September 21st, 2019 at 7:04 AM ^
Hahahaha wow what a fail. That's what I feel for trying to use words good.
September 21st, 2019 at 7:25 AM ^
Good coaches nurture internal motivation...good players motivate themselves-and it infects those around them. Rah, rah players and coaches may be "cute" to those on the outside looking in...they are noticed in the locker room and on the sideline but they make little difference on the field of play. Play hard, play smart, win your battle, go the extra mile, do your part...win the game. There are exceptions to every rule but, for the most part, this is how you win.
Good story, OP...brings back many fond memories for me.
September 21st, 2019 at 9:30 AM ^
We all know what the OP meant. Yours is a bit of a dickweedian comment.
September 20th, 2019 at 11:44 PM ^
Lost my mom to cancer two years ago. She was way too young. Diagnosed at stage four and passed away within two months. It still is difficult for me to handle.
I have always loved Michigan football and still do to this day. Perspective is much easier for me now.
I am glad that you and your dad can still share M football, and that your dad is making progress in his fight. Your dad, you, and your family will be in our prayers.
Finally, your story is further proof that the Harbaugh’s are great people.
September 21st, 2019 at 12:37 AM ^
Best wishes to you and your family, and Go Blue
September 21st, 2019 at 12:46 AM ^
My father was diagnosed with multiple myeloma a few years back. I think I’ve felt every emotion there is through this process
We watched a few games from the hospital while he was undergoing his stem cell transplant. It was not lost on me how the love of Michigan Football was able to raise his spirit in such tough times. I’m thankful for that.
I don’t know if life is a game of inches or just a handful of big highlight plays. I do know that sports has a power to bring people together. No matter how trivial the games may seem at times or how much we anguish over the losses, I’m thankful for being a life long Michigan fan and I can’t wait for tomorrow.
I hope your father’s treatments are as successful as possible.
September 21st, 2019 at 12:47 AM ^
If she's anything like mine, I'll bet your mom kills him before the cancer does.
I hope he makes it a good long while, at least until we win another national championship and beat OSU several times in a row.
Go Blue!
September 21st, 2019 at 12:49 AM ^
Great post. My prayers go out to your dad, and the rest of your family as well.
My wife just kicked cancer’s ass completely, and I have another friend who was diagnosed with MM at the same time and is also giving it a hell of a fight. He too, is post-stem cell transplant from December and is doing great.
Keep the faith and tell your dad you love him every single day. Your family is definitely “his team”, and it takes the entire team to fight this f-ing disease - one inch at a time.
Enjoy life to its fullest, one day at a time. No regrets.
Go Blue!
September 21st, 2019 at 12:52 AM ^
Excellent post, great reminder that there's so much more going on in the world than our negativity. Your dad sounds like an awesome dude. Best wishes and hopefully a good recovery!
September 21st, 2019 at 1:12 AM ^
Fantastic story. Cancer seems to affect everyone. Mom passed six years ago after two bouts and pops still going strong after nine years. Life is not easy but it's a hell of a ride, good and bad. Go Blue and beat whisky !
September 21st, 2019 at 1:33 AM ^
Hope your Dad makes a complete recovery! Great to have your Father around. I would say fuck heart disease along with cancer. My Dad died of a fatal heart attack 9 years ago and he was only 70. He was in good shape and swam laps every other day. He did not have any symptoms even though 3 of his arteries were 90 percent blocked.
I hope Michigan wins but if they don't your life and health are far more important than any football game!
September 21st, 2019 at 1:41 AM ^
Best Wishes to you and your family.
Cancer is a tough deal...not platitudes as i know from first hand experience myself... its easy to lose perspective of what is really important in life and its not football...
its great to hear that Jack Harbaugh came to visit your dad... really amazing thing to do.
Football is an escape; it allows people to forget, if only for 3.5 hrs, everything else - and in that sense, it is valuable to have those moments when you don't have to think about your day to day troubles...
Hopefully, Michigan will get a big win tomorrow to lift everyone's spirits - but at the end of the day, its only a game. Thank you for that reminder
September 21st, 2019 at 2:46 AM ^
Fuck Cancer . My mom died of lung cancer almost 2 years ago . Best wishes to your father and your family .
September 21st, 2019 at 6:38 AM ^
Haven’t logged in for a while, did to comment.
Thanks for sharing. Loved the post. Prayers for your family.
September 21st, 2019 at 6:44 AM ^
My mom was just told she has cancer, and the biopsy results don't come back until the 30th. But its not good, already know its inoperable and chemo is out because of her age. This post just kicked the shit out of my feels... I've also lost a sister to cancer.
The best of luck to your dad, and your family. Fuck cancer.
September 21st, 2019 at 8:54 AM ^
Sorry to hear that. I hope you and your mom can live in the moment and enjoy every day you have. Not only "special moments" or "quality time" but just as importantly the unimportant everyday moments that we never appreciate until gone. Im lucky enough to still have my mom but eventually ill surely remember more washing dishes while she wrappped up dinner leftovers than any big "quality time" or big trip etc.
September 21st, 2019 at 7:10 AM ^
Your dad just gained a new fan. Go Blue & Beat Cancer.
September 21st, 2019 at 7:12 AM ^
My condolences to you and your family. May the Lord see fit to heal or put your father into remission. I'm not equating your father and his condition to the condition of one of our cats, but Raj has cancer and the whole family is distraught about it. He went from being this big, energetic, wonderful cat, the best cat you could ever want to have, to one that is just a step from emaciated, weak, and may be getting ready to pass on. We've seen him slowly losing his weight, wondering if he was being finicky, or had a virus. We took him to the vet, an ultrasound was done, and the cancer was diagnosed. We have four cats and I think they can sense it. They lay around Rajah, not playing...It's like we're in a pre-Wake. The family is a mess. We're debating for when it is time to euthanize him and it's a very difficult decision.
So yeah, fuck Cancer.
September 21st, 2019 at 7:31 AM ^
What a fantastic post OP. Brought me chills and even a few tears.
Thank you VERY much for sharing this. Tell your dad he is the type of man everyone should think of when they use the term "Michigan Man".
And his son is definitely one too.
September 21st, 2019 at 9:08 AM ^
I can relate. My lovely wife has breast cancer, 2nd time around, and it's stage 4. She will also die with cancer, and probably from cancer. But we're not in a hurry.
Every day that she wakes up is a victory, and we celebrate victories in this household. She's probably got a couple more years, as her cancer is both slow growing and, apparently, responding appropriately to treatment. We saw her oncologist this week about her most recent PET scan; he showed us the long analysis and said he wasn't going to go into the details, because "In summary, she's doing very well." Yay!
We cherish every day with each other, as you obviously do with your father. Here's hoping for many more inches, days, weeks, months, and even years for you with your dad. Go Blue!
September 21st, 2019 at 9:13 AM ^
Nice post OP.
FWIW, one of my best friend's mom got stem-cell treatment at UofM for her multiple myeloma, and she is now cured. So, when you say your dad will have cancer until the day he dies, I say 'Not so Fast My Friend'. Maybe some treatment opportunities yet. Best wishes.
September 21st, 2019 at 9:37 AM ^
I'm praying the treatment is successful.
We lost our dad back in 1995. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him. I saw him minimally the last 6 years of his life as I was working in the UK then and wish we had more time together.
Spend as much time with him that you can.
My brother had stage 4 lung cancer and he beat it. Medical advances are nothing short of miraculous these days, so have an optimistic outlook on this.
Best wishes for a successful treatment and speedy recovery.
September 21st, 2019 at 9:43 AM ^
Sorry to hear about your Dad’s cancer diagnosis and treatment. Listen to every word he says for the rest of his days as a way to capture his spirit. We all need to do that with those we love as the best way to honor the best things from their lives.
September 21st, 2019 at 9:43 AM ^
with you 100%
September 21st, 2019 at 11:01 AM ^
Love that speech. My dad passed 11 years ago from cancer that originated in the prostate after a long and grueling battle. The whole process from when he 1st found out, to when he succumbed to the disease was undoubtedly the hardest thing I've ever had to watch and experience, so my heart really goes out to you. My secretary just found out she has stage 4 breast cancer, so her battle is just now starting. Stay strong, stay positive, and spend every minute with him you can. When they are gone you never get those moments again. My prayers are with you!
September 21st, 2019 at 11:09 AM ^
I am not medical, but my wife is. This is coming from her: Great advances have been made in chemo + stem cell transplant for multiple myeloma (and auto-immune diseases). There are many documented cases of cure (including my next door neighbor's mother).
Look into the HSCT treatments. Your own families' stem cells (typically) are used to reset blood cell generation. You probably won't regain what you have lost, but you can stop it in its tracks. All the best to you & your family.