Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me To

Win will cause me to be a little nicer to my niece who matriculates as a freshman to UW in a couple of weeks. 

Loss will cause me to be a little nicer to my niece who matriculates as a freshman to UW in a couple of weeks, but not be happy about it. 

Win will cause me to: cut down some Mongols on Iki Island.

Loss will cause me to: cut down some Mongols on Iki Island with a little more fervor.

Win will cause me to: binge watch all of the highlights on YouTube

Lose will cause me to: delete block all YouTube channels that shows CFB highlights 

repeat for next game

Win will cause me to be slightly more optimistic, because Washington did lose to Montana after all. However, it's the way Michigan wins that will matter to me. Win with the offense putting up more than 21 points? Ok, maybe the offense is capable of growth and getting it's playmakers into good situations against a good defense. If they win in a sludgefart of a game scoring 14 or less points my opinion won't change much. I expect the defense to do at least ok. But fully expect Washington to rope-a-dope their way to at least 14 points, if not 20. If I have to watch Corum/Haskins burrow themselves into the OL for a gain of 1 yard more than 5 times I might lose it.

Loss will cause me to pretty much tune out the rest of the season and look towards basketball and hockey.

Ooof this one will be more impactful since I live Seattle and am surrounded by Husky fans.  They all know I love M (flag is waiving right now), took a dog on a walk this morning with the jersey on, so ...

Win will cause me too:  Have a nice big pour of Basil Hayden, open all windows, and blast the fight song.

Loss will cause me too:  Shut off all the lights, still big pour of Basil Hayden, and then probably wont leave the house for a week or so. 


please dear god, win the game. 

Hail

Either a win or loss will result in my plopping into bed dead tired after getting back from the late night finish at the Big House - too worn out to celebrate or be depressed.

Win: drink then puke 

Loss: puke then drink 

Win: Celebrate hard and very much enjoy next week.

Loss: Be sad and enjoy next week less.

If we win I will rend this shirt, revealing my Herculean (Adonisian??) torso. If we lose I will put in the hamper and go to bed. 

Win will cause me to relax until Wisconsin. 

Loss will cause me to count the days until basketball season. 

Win will cause me to stand proud for another week.. knowing in the back of my mind that its not that huge a deal to beat a team at home, in a night game, who got beat by Montana

Loss will cause me to confirm that the team needs to start over, even if that means we lose recruits and players. A final nail in the coffin.

Lets not do item 2.

Win will cause 1993-style delirium.

Loss will cause 1992-style despair.

Win:  Read post about how UW clearly is not good and this win means nothing.

Loss::  Read post about how we lost to a team that lost to a FCS team and that beating NIU and Rutgers is worthless and Harbaugh should be fired after he gets his embarrising beating in Madison.

Or something like that

The answer, regardless of the outcome, is that I will act irrationally.

Win will cause me to:  Feel a tiny twinge of hope deep in my soul again.

A Loss will cause me to:  Wallow in my numbness and begin counting down the days until men's basketball begins.

Win will cause me to continue to think we win double digits. Loss is not an option.  

Win will cause me to: Assume this team is more or less on the same path right now that I thought it was before the season started. 7-5 to 8-4. That is their ceiling until they prove otherwise. Beating Wisconsin would shift the needle on an upward trajectory, but until then, this team is 7-5 or 8-4. 

Loss will cause me to: Just shrug my shoulders and move on with my night. I have no real expectations for this team. Losing to a team that lost to an FCS team itself would be textbook Michigan. 

A win will impel me to watch highlights repeatedly.

A loss will impel me to avoid watching any of them.

Otherwise my life will be functionally unchanged either way.

Win - Greatest team ever, will go undefeated and win NC

Loss - Worst team ever, fire Harbaugh before he leaves the Big House

Win will cause me to stay up too late because I'm too excited about the win to go to sleep.

Loss will cause me to stay up too late because I'm too upset about the loss to go to sleep.

Win will cause me to: foolishly and naively begin to have a small hope that this season will not be a complete disaster.

Loss will cause me to: rage text at my Harbaugh apologist friends

Win will cause me to: smile, knowingly, about the developing special season.

Loss will cause me to: be irrationally optimistic about how much we will learn and grow from it.

A win will cause me to look forward to next week’s game. A loss will cause me to lose some, but not all, interest. Go Blue

I still think that this is the pivotal game that we thought it would be during the schedule previews. A loss means it could be a rough season (4 to 6 wins) and the wheels might fall off at some point. A convincing win makes a 4-0 start pretty likely. A 4-0 start would most likely set the team up for an 8+ win season. 

Depends on how we win.

Lose my shit/lose my shit

Nothing/Nothing

A win of 8 points or more will get me to cash in my winning betting ticket, but a loss or a win by 7 points or less will make me swear off betting for the rest of my life (again).

A win will lead to me writing a 2,000 word diary about the good and bad things from the game

A loss will lead to me writing a 2,000 word diary about the good and bad things from the game while drinking a beer.

A win will cause me to hope osu loses.

A loss will cause me to hope osu loses.

Win will cause me to smoke a joint in celebration. Loss will cause me to smoke a joint to forget about it.

At this point there won't be any change, because my biggest concern about this season isn't that we suddenly do a Brady Hoke nosedive in the Win/Loss column so much as it is that Harbaugh wins just enough games to keep his job without taking the program any more forward.

Win will cause me to: watch the replay, and then resolve to go to a bar to watch the NIU game live with the only other Michigan fan I know in this country.

Lose will cause me to: be glad I didn't stay up until 4 am to watch live, and then resolve to wait long enough to check whether we win or lose each game this year before I decide whether to watch it.

Win= enjoy my chips and cheese in peace. Followed up with a Culvers frozen treat

Loss= No ice cream and my poor dog won't get his Pup Cup. 

WIN THE FUCKING GAME...for crying out loud my dog deserves a frozen snack.

Win will cause me to: Think 8-4 is very likely, and even 9-3 is possible.

Loss will cause me too: Schedule yard work and errands on Saturdays to leave Sunday free instead of Saturday.

I will watch the game several times and analyze it each time through looking at a specific group. Thats when we win.   I don't  plan on Michigan loosing. Never found the need to pull tomorrows clouds over todays Sunshine. 

Win will cause me to build more excitement for the remainder of the season. 
 

Lose will zombify me and I’ll be back to where I was Halloween night of 2020. 

WWCMT: Have irrational expectations for the rest of the season.

LWCMT: Go back in my hole until basketball season.

I prefer to start with the negative

Loss will cause me to ?‍♂️ 

Win will cause me to insert .gif of Lloyd Christmas saying “so you’re saying there’s a chance?”

Start expecting commitments to come in pairs beginning Sunday 

For a slightly more nuanced answer, I’d like to see if our offense can prove it can run a RPO, if our DL can get penetration and hurry their QB, if the cornerbacks are truly better this year. If we win or lose a close game and these continue to be problems it bodes badly for the rest of the year and maybe the tenure of the head coach or at least some coaches. If we lose badly, it almost doesn’t matter how we lose. If we win big, then I assume the team is getting better and it’s on to the next game. I think this season requires a one game at a time approach. (Well, if we lose badly, I’m not sure I’ll want to pay any attention next week.)