Why do I (we?) do this to myself?
I was absolutely devastated after the MSU game. I truly can't think of a stronger word than devastated. I had a two mile walk back to my car, and I was 100% soaked - had I jumped in a pool it would not have made me more wet. My phone was waterlogged and was completely destroyed. On Saturday night, I literally had nightmares about the game. Sunday was no better. By Monday, I had regained some semblance of functionality, and by today, I felt decent, at least somewhat like myself again. Then the US debacle happened, and the World Cup I've been buzzing about since the final whistle against Belgium in 2014 evaporated into thin air.
I truly don't think I have ever had such a profound combined reaction to a pair of sporting events than I've had toward the MSU game and the World Cup failure. I don't know if this is normal or if I'm unique in terms of the depth of my misery (and I suppose the validity of this question hinges on the answer to that question), but... for all of you who are like me: why do I do this to myself? Why do you do this to yourselves?
For Michigan, it's been 13 years since the last Big Ten championship, 20 years since the last National Championship (for reference, I am in my early 30s, so this drought is especially significant when compared to how long I've been alive). On the USMNT side, we've never been relevant in international soccer, and the successes worth celebrating have been few and far between. Clearly, the ratio of success to failure among the teams I'm most passionate about is grossly skewed toward the negative.
So I guess the question is... what keeps you coming back? Why are you still here 3 days after a gut-wrenching loss hitting F1 and begging for more? I am genuinely interested in hearing responses from others who consider themselves to be in the same boat as myself.
(To those for whom this delves too far into the realm of the touchy-feely: feel free to neg away. As you can see, I've been registered here for quite awhile and never bothered much with the pursuit of points)
October 11th, 2017 at 1:10 AM ^
You just need to get older bro. Since I was old enough to actively root (1980) I think I'm like 23-15 vs MSU. Shit goes in cycles. I've loved every minute of it.
October 11th, 2017 at 1:14 AM ^
“When your team is winning, be ready to be tough, because winning can make you soft. On the other hand, when your team is losing, stick by them. Keep believing” -Bo
Hang in there, good sir.
October 11th, 2017 at 1:20 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:23 AM ^
THIS IS MICHIGAN!
GO BLUE!!
October 11th, 2017 at 1:25 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:28 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 2:16 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:38 AM ^
If your happiness depends upon the success of a sports team, you are going to be unhappy. Seriously. No team wins all of the time. Do we want to win? You bet. But in a healthy situation we follow this as a passtime, a diversion. It's not life.
Your life's substance and meaning do not and cannot come the results of sporting events. This is even true of people like Brian and Seth, whose occupation revolves around the football team but who must continue on even when the football team stinks and nobody is enjoying them. It is certainly true of us fans.
Engage the parts of your life that bring real meaning and joy. Use this as a hobby, an escape. But don't depend upon it for meaning or joy, or you'll be left empty.
October 11th, 2017 at 1:45 AM ^
No matter how much I tried, the emotional pain, frustration, all of that would pop up again and again. Sure my brain knows its kid throwing around a pigskin, and my family, faith, and job are way more important, but you can't just turn that switch off, you know?
All these people lecturing you about life is more important blah blah blah blah. Bless them, but tell us something we don't know right?
So nowadays, I don't watch the actual games. I religiously follow recruiting and MgoBlog, but the actual games I'll just check up on the score afterwards. I'll schedule something fun to do with the family, and I only watch if I'm absolutely sure we're gonna win.
Its my way of compromising and coping. I can't change who I am, at least suddenly, so I just lessen my emotional exposure duing game time, go to a park and have fun.
Sure it stings when we lose, but I think it stings a lot less than having to watch the entire game.
Yeah people can call me a wussy, whatever. Its my way of coping, it works, me and my family are happy, and I'm still devoted to Michigan as ever.
October 11th, 2017 at 1:54 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:45 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:46 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:46 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:51 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 1:58 AM ^
October 12th, 2017 at 6:06 PM ^
You keep coming back because there is nothing else to do in Cali when there is no powder Jerry...except go to USC games sober.
October 11th, 2017 at 2:02 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 2:09 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 10:18 AM ^
Hahahaha I didn't catch that at first. See, this whole thing has me so upset that I'm jamming the wrong key expecting my computer to know what I want!
October 11th, 2017 at 2:31 AM ^
I'll share what I share with others about college football. I love watching Michigan win. I get sad when they lose. It's normal to be upset after a loss, how much you let it affect you is totally up to you. College football is really a strange animal - there's no preseason, so few games, and losses are devatating towards title hopes. Baseball you can lose 60+ games and be in the playoffs.
What comforts me is that the University of Michigan is so much more than a score in a football game. It is an amazing place with amazing people. I look to the work they do at the children's hospital and think - man, that's awesome. I personally go to the Kellogg Eye Center for treatment of my genetic retinal disorder. Some day in the future I will likely lose all of my eyesight. Right now it is very limited. They have pointed me to potential treatments that might just preserve what I have. The Kellogg staff is world class in service and knowledge. I get the best treatment because of their committment to excellence. What the University of Michigan does not only in the local community but the world, makes me proud to cheer for their football team. If they lose a football game it's okay, it is still just as awesome of a university to me as it was the day before.
October 11th, 2017 at 2:41 AM ^
The day started out by meeting up with several friends that I rarely get to see. We didn’t have tickets to the game but we went to tailgate. Every entrance to the golf course was closing up due to being at capacity. We finally were able to find a spot at the driving range almost an hour and half after we left my friend’s house (he lives in AA). We tailgate for a few hours and then had back to his place. The house was split with roughly 7 Wolverines and 7 Spartans.
The owner of the house did not have cable so we were streaming the game on Watch-ESPN (never do this). The game was going great, Michigan showed they had control the entire game. The drinks were flowing and for the first time in many years I felt Michigan football was back as we were about to witness a much deserved Sparty loss.
As the game was “seconds” from being over I started to receive texts from my Sparty friends, one simply read “hahahahahahahah”, I had no clue what he was referring to. I then looked up at the TV and witnessed the botched punt. The ESPN app had a nice 7-10 second delay that day.
I went from cloud 9 to rock bottom in the matter of seconds (as many others did that day) and it was one of the worst feelings in the world. That feeling stayed with me the entire night and into the next several weeks and months.
I got so pissed of that I started to hit the gym twice as many times weekly than I normally did. I don’t know what pushed me into doing this but I was just generally pissed and hitting the gym/listening to music really helped take my mind off things. Some may laugh at this story but for some reason things just clicked. The Sparty fans eventually stopped talking shit and life kept moving forward. I told myself after that game that I would never allow myself to get that upset over a football game, or any game for that matter, ever again. The anger consumed me the whole time that was unable to enjoy time with friends that I rarely get to see. That game helped me lose roughly 40 pounds and I’m now in the best shape of my life.
I love my Wolverines and will root for them in good times and in bad but I now have a better sense as to what means and what it’s worth. With the crazy world we live in now, I’m thankful that we have this team to take our minds off the other stresses and burdens of life for a few hours every weekend.
Last Saturday sucked but I stay positive as we have one of the best football coaches in the country and we are headed in the right direction. Maybe last Saturday was your “one game”, if so, trying turning that negative into a positive, only you know what that positive will be.
October 11th, 2017 at 10:02 AM ^
Congrats on the weight loss man, that's incredible. Glad to hear something very positive came out of that ridiculous loss.
October 11th, 2017 at 3:02 AM ^
but did you somehow miss the weeklong completely accurate weather forecasts of heavy rains Saturday night that the 80-90,000 people who brought ponchos and other rain gear to the game didn't?
I was unhappy, to be sure, but wasn't "devastated" by the result because it wasn't entirely unexpected... other than a flicker of hope against a lousy Purdue D, the offense has been a mess all season. Was it really that shocking to you? It was going to be a one-score game in either direction all along, and sometimes you lose a predictably tight rivalry game.
October 11th, 2017 at 9:52 AM ^
Replied to a post lower down, didn't realize you brought it up first:
"Haha, I knew this one was coming. Actually I wore a rain jacket, then a second jacket that I thought was at least somewhat waterproof. For the life of me I have no idea how so much water got in, I literally had 2 hoods up and the zippers all the way up. Probably from the standing/jumping, or maybe just the horizontal rain. Anyway, the pocket on the inside jacket filled up with water and became a nice little bathtub for my phone."
October 11th, 2017 at 3:02 AM ^
Honestly it's much easier to cope when you're distracted by other things. Preferably other things that are important to you. Have a purpose and mission that makes you happy and doesn't involve things you can't control like the outcome of a football game.
I too was devastated after the game but I'm over it. The outcome of the game exists in a bubble and will affect you only insofar as you willingly step into that bubble.
I keep coming back because in spite of the fact that I can barely remember Michigan's golden age in the 90s, the University still means a lot to me and my family.
One day they will beat OSU and MSU in the same year again.
October 11th, 2017 at 3:56 AM ^
I'm trying to remember a game where I was THIS down as depicted in the OP, though...Webber's TO in the championhip game for sure...and I thought that I didn't want to go on after Stewart to Westbrook in '94, the '78 Rose Bowl...but i got over all of those...eventually...
October 11th, 2017 at 4:40 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:54 AM ^
Re: the soccer question: Uh, I expected to qualify for the World Cup? Like we have every year since 1986? Failing to see how "detached from reality" one has to be to expect that.
October 11th, 2017 at 5:40 AM ^
Makes the taste of victory all the sweeter. You can bet your cotton-pickin' maize and blue fedora that sweet taste will return, with Harbaugh at the helm!
October 11th, 2017 at 6:33 AM ^
Look what you made me do.
Look what you made me do.
Look what you made me do look what you just made me do.
October 11th, 2017 at 6:46 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 7:04 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:17 PM ^
That wasn't a game, it was an exorcism
October 11th, 2017 at 7:04 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 7:25 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 7:48 AM ^
But it happens. I remember the '77 game when Bo lost to MSU and while listening to Gibson catch all those passes and Leach not completing passes I was one pissed off 14 year old kid. I was hitting kids hard in HS football practice the next week I was so pissed. Now that I'm older and have been through coaches like RR and Hoke, I can easily turn the page and hope we play better in the next game. The way I look at it we still have control of our future, if we win out. Not sure that will happen but it is possible. I suspect MSU will lose a few more conference games.
October 11th, 2017 at 7:56 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:12 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 10:07 AM ^
My good friend is a Cubs fan too, I had to privilege of being with him during the clinching game of the World Series last year. Dude was on the phone with his dad and they were both in tears. I remember thinking, "I bet all those years of sucking was worth it to him just for this moment."
October 11th, 2017 at 11:59 AM ^
To put it into perspective, I was at a Chicago bar in NYC when they beat the Dodgers just to make it to the World Series. I immediately ran outside called my Dad, crying like a baby. I think it's easy for a lot of people to be dismissive of the OP. He's not saying it runs his life, just that it makes everything feel a little shitty.
If there wasn't a legitimate emotional attachment to sports, it wouldn't be popular. People watch games because there's a sense of community (hence MGoBlog's existence) and because it makes them feel euphoric and miserable and everything in between. We watch sports because it matters.
Not to bring up the Cubs thing again, but Wright Thompson did a piece on ESPN right after they won about the fans writing the names of loved ones on the Wrigley bricks, those that didn't get to see them make it, let alone win it. It was powerful stuff.
Don't let it define your life, but the snowflake threads and the day after stuff are evidence enough that everyone in here saying, "Eh, whatever, I don't care after the game is over" is fooling themselves.
October 11th, 2017 at 7:58 AM ^
Neeeerrrrrddddd.
Get a life and find some hobbies that don't involve getting emotionally involved in a bunch of fit men chasing a ball around.
The guys taking Michigan football the most seriously seem to be the guy who've never played football.
October 11th, 2017 at 8:02 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 9:50 AM ^
Haha, I knew this one was coming. Actually I wore a rain jacket, then a second jacket that I thought was at least somewhat waterproof. For the life of me I have no idea how so much water got in, I literally had 2 hoods up and the zippers all the way up. Probably from the standing/jumping, or maybe just the horizontal rain. Anyway, the pocket on the inside jacket filled up with water and became a nice little bathtub for my phone.
October 11th, 2017 at 8:03 AM ^
Michigan Stadium singing “Mr. Brightside” in a torrential downpour! Powerful experience! #GoBlue @UMichFootball @BarstoolUofM pic.twitter.com/Fk6MYfMqPz
— Elliott Mealer (@ewmealer) October 9, 2017
October 11th, 2017 at 9:23 AM ^
October 11th, 2017 at 11:29 PM ^
Killers for honorary captains?
October 11th, 2017 at 8:09 AM ^
In '06 i was married to a osu grad..... What's worse than going through the rough years since then? Spending 6 of them around suckeye fans. Thankfully, I'm rid of her and we're not hoping to make it to a bowl game.
The pendulum swings both ways, our day will come. Its close than its been in a long time, even if it doesn't feel like it.
October 11th, 2017 at 8:17 AM ^
It has made this all particularly painful for me. I have to see the local media coverage and hear the local juggalos brag about Sparty domination every day. THat's why that loss was devastating and unacceptable to me. I will never get over it unless we deliver a huge beatdown to MSU next year.
October 11th, 2017 at 8:18 AM ^
I am still devastated over the MSU loss. I don't care much about the whole soccer debacle. But, yes, I am disinterested in the rest of the college football season.
The last Big 10 title and the last national title was forever ago. I told myself I need to start working on cars, start liking Star Wars, or take up comic book collecting.
Sports is ruining my life and it shouldn't be like that. I'm 38 and I swear the losses get tougher with every year.