Masterpieces of #coronacontent. As our national sanity declines in daily increments expect more and more pieces borne out of a feverish desperation. Like this from Holly Anderson and Ryan Nanni about the 1997 Harrison Ford vehicle Air Force One, which features a Michigan-Notre Dame game as part of its background:

For you unlettered souls who have never experienced this film, it goes like this: Harrison Ford is the American president; he’s in Russia on a state visit, and on the way back his plane is taken over by a band of ultra-nationalist rebels led by Gary Oldman. President Harrison Ford’s family is on the plane, along with a good chunk of his Cabinet, and the rebels want their separatist general released from prison or they’ll shoot everybody.

What they don’t know is, everybody on the plane already wants to shoot everybody else, because Notre Dame and Michigan are playing football on television.

RYAN: This is arguably the most relatable aspect of the film. Most of us will never know the burden of managing international affairs at the highest level, and while we do worry about taking care of our families, “foil hijackers” comes in far below “manage child’s expectations about becoming a pro soccer player.” Traveling while your team is playing? That’s a thing I’ve lived, and I bet you have, too. I don’t know if it’s the change to routine, the combination of game stress and travel stress, or low air pressure, but watching a game you care about on a plane amplifies the experience. And not in a good way.

Apparently there is a point in this movie where someone yells "14-13 Michigan, all right!" This would never happen. There is no Michigan fan who would discover Michigan is leading by one point and exclaim happily.

Instead they would envision the various and terrible ways in which that slenderest of leads could be lost. A punt that corkscrews sideways, setting up a short field. Locusts eating the left guard's jersey. Someone drops a baby out of a plane that the quarterback has to catch instead of holding onto the ball. The entire team is crippled by explosive toenail growth. Etc.

[After THE JUMP: three-cone drill numbers!]

I was not expecting this. Bruce Feldman's annual "freaks" list has had Michigan players in the top five before. IIRC Rashan Gary was #1, because it would be impossible to put anyone else up there as long as Gary was in college. But in years past the guys who've made the list have been obvious. This is non-obvious:

1. Kwity Paye, Michigan, defensive end

Freakiest attribute: Speed in the 3-cone drill

The Wolverines have a few special athletes on their defensive line (Aidan Hutchinson also possesses impressive agility for his size), but the 6-4, 271-pound Paye (50 tackles, 12.5 for loss, 6.5 sacks) has generated a lot of buzz among the NFL scouting community for some remarkable wheels. He clocked the second-best 3-cone time on the team at a blistering 6.37 seconds, which would have topped anyone at the 2020 combine. Paye’s 40 is also moving at 4.57, with a solid 34-inch vertical and 30 reps on the bench press. Paye’s 40 time and 4.15 pro shuttle time are better than any D-lineman or edge player who tested at the 2020 combine. His 11.3 time in the 60-yard shuttle is also elite.

Paye, a former high school running back who reported to Ann Arbor at 228 pounds, was a member of a state championship 4×100 meter relay team in high school and also won a state title in the long jump, going 21 feet, 5 inches as a junior. He has a rare blend of strength, control and balance and his change of direction is probably even better than former Wolverine Freak Rashan Gary.

I like Paye about as much as Pro Football Focus, which graded him as the top returning DE in the conference. I'm not sure about comparisons to Gary.

One other Wolverine made the list: Nico Collins. No whiz-bang numbers except a claimed 4.4 40 and a note on how Gattis and company "rave about his toughness and body control" and let's get this guy more than 60 targets please.

Another thing I learned in this article: LSU has a receiver named "Racey McMath" who claims 4.3 40s.

This should be fine, we can rely on the NCAA's measured leadership. Chris Hinton's parents Mya and Chris appeared on Real Sports on Tuesday. They are not particularly happy about college football goings-on:

“As a parent of a student athlete, actually, it pissed me off,” Chris [the elder] said on Real Sports.

“... Why can’t there be some kind of universal procedures, protocol, for integrating our sons back to campus?”

This comes after the Hintons appealed to the NCAA, expressing their concerns. They said they received a dismissive response back, and the most frustrating part is the lack of input from players and their parents that the NCAA has allowed.

“The players, who probably have as much to lose as anybody, had no voice, were voiceless,” Chris said. “And as parents, we felt the same as the kids — we were voiceless.” …

"Just based on statistics somebody — somebody’s kid’s gonna die,” Chris said. “And so the numbers are screaming ‘pump the brakes.’ ”

As a result the younger Hinton may not play this year. I'm going to whistle past that particular graveyard, thanks.

This is what "stack and shed" means. If you've ever wondered exactly what that bit of football jargon refers to, here is the briefest possible explainer:

Stack/shed technique from Michigan. Can teach this at every position on defense. https://t.co/4lVzyKyOuz

— Matt Bowen (@MattBowen41) July 16, 2020

We tend to refer to that move as "push-pull" when it happens on the defensive line and "stack and shed" when a linebacker is taking on a blocker.

Late game basketball game theory gets weirder. Ken Pomeroy and Jonathan Safir have put together a study on intentionally fouling with a lead late in a basketball game. "Oh, I'm #teamFoul when up three," you say. But no! This is a study about fouling when up two. (And also up one and even tied.)

It turns out there's a relatively wide window in which this is a good idea. Here's their graph about when to foul when up two:

So: if you're playing a team exactly as good as you and someone is a 62% shooter or worse, fouling will help you win. If you're in the single bonus that goes up to 66%.

Big Ten players who you'd want to put on the line last year included Myles Johnson, Joey Brunk, Trevion Williams, Nojel Eastern, Mike Watkins, Zavier Simpson, Giorgi Bezhanishvili, Jamari Wheeler, Jacob Young, and about half of Nebraska's roster. Many of those guys are significantly below the break-even point.

I don't expect this is going to be a frequent gambit any time soon. ALso I've been guilty of overplaying the importance of marginal changes to strategy. Nonetheless, I find the analysis to be Cool. 

Recommended twitter thread. If you do not understand this, congratulations: you are not terminally online. You have closed all the browser tabs and had a face to face conversation at some point. The rest of us will console ourselves with quite a chuckle.

Big Ten football teams as dril tweets, a thread.

Northwestern: https://t.co/knxYkXywfj

— ben (@VT_Ben) July 21, 2020

Everything you wanted to know about Michigan's penalty kill. Bailey Johnson has put together a dataset on Michigan's PK and will star posting insights gleaned from it shortly. Looking forward to it: actual data/charting in hockey is almost exclusively limited to the teams themselves.

Etc.: David Ojabo is back in the United States. Congratulations? More on what Livers's return means. The Compher/Connor/Motte line was the heart of college hockey's best powerplay in the last eight years. BEN MASON is back where he belongs. SI has an excerpt from Ed O'Bannon's book about his lawsuit against the NCAA.

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