The Purge
This is not simply a negbang. This is THE PURGE. A bloodletting. A colon blow. A board-wide exorcism of all the negativity before the season starts. There is tooo much shit posting in the game threads and I thought this would be a good time to get all the negativity out before the season starts.
The Rules of THE PURGE
There is no positivity allowed in this thread. Any positive comments shall be negged...with extreme prejudice.
The use of weapons above class 4 is forbidden, i.e. normal board rules apply: do not attack individual players, no politics... (Violation of any these rules will result in... well, I'm not really sure. But it'll probably be pretty stiff.)
Police, fire, emergency medical services, and moms will be unavailable until 7am when THE PURGE concludes (or until the mods put me and this thread on a one-way flight to Bolivia).
Don't feel like being negative? Here's some motivation: Imagine that we're not only being outhit but also outscored by Scott Frost. Or imagine Bret Bielema doing the truffle shuffle on the 50-yard line after beating Michigan.
Need some ideas of what to post? Here are some of my personal favorites from the past:
- The year is 2199. COVID-99 has wiped out half the population. Michigan football is still running the ball up the middle. (MSU 2020)
- This is a .500 team the rest of the season (Rutgers 2021)
- The complete breakdown of fucking turtling and letting teams back in is fucking disgusting. No way should UM have ever lost this game, but here we are (Nebraska 2021)
- UNACCEPTABLE! (every game, 1879-present)
So have at it. Give me the snowflakiest of the snowflakes that you can muster from the depths of your joyless, empty, hatin'-ass souls.
Or just neg me for starting such a dumb-ass thread. I'll take it for the good of the community.
August 26th, 2022 at 9:35 PM ^
I approve of those messages, and it's neat she if flipping someone the bird too.
August 26th, 2022 at 9:32 PM ^
At some point in the season we will have a 17 point lead at halftime and sit on the goddam ball in the 2nd, only this time it won't be Rutger and we end up blowing it. The Board will go nuts and local sports pundits will demand heads to roll.
August 26th, 2022 at 9:34 PM ^
An FOIA request is made by an anonymous source, and it turns out that Ryan Day’s actual birth place is…. Third Base, Michigan. A small municipality which, at one time, was inside Ann Arbor’s city limits.
August 26th, 2022 at 9:46 PM ^
I DONT KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT
August 26th, 2022 at 10:02 PM ^
You fuckers probably couldn’t spell OT
August 26th, 2022 at 10:51 PM ^
TO. There!
August 26th, 2022 at 10:38 PM ^
A nefarious group of hackers breaks through Michigan Stadium’s firewall and security systems - and instead of “Mr. Brightside”, “Hang on Sloopy” is played during every game.
August 26th, 2022 at 10:43 PM ^
JJ will transfer.
August 26th, 2022 at 10:50 PM ^
We have like SIX All B1G WRs and tight ends and we are still running for 3 yard gains! I've got Michigan -14 throw the fucking ball and put it in the end zone FFS!
I'm gonna quiet quit.
August 27th, 2022 at 8:59 AM ^
Ever heard of running to set up the throw? Duh.
August 26th, 2022 at 10:57 PM ^
My finger is getting tired from fast forwarding through ALL the fucking commercials in EVERY fucking game.
August 26th, 2022 at 11:07 PM ^
I'm higher than eagle dick right now, with a little twist from a boxed chardonnay (chilled, natch) and wondering how it's going to go when I get up at 6 am for a round at one of my favorite golf courses. Life doesn't suck.
No idea what thread I'm in.
August 26th, 2022 at 11:14 PM ^
Oh boy, another drunk talking about their little collection of boozes ^^^. Good luck tomorrow not slicing the ball on every tee shot. I bet you're wearing a Life Is Good t-shirt. Yeah, I bet.
Did I do that right?
August 26th, 2022 at 11:24 PM ^
Where in the hell is Clarence in an airing of grievances purge free for all. CB is to 4 letter words what Eddie Murphy is to stand up comedy.
August 26th, 2022 at 11:35 PM ^
He's with me at your mom's house.
August 26th, 2022 at 11:40 PM ^
You guys have fun, she just turned 82 yesterday.
August 27th, 2022 at 8:57 AM ^
Aka ripe.
August 27th, 2022 at 12:41 AM ^
Ace Anbender is an all-time asshole. People don’t talk about that because of his illness, but both things can be true. I’m unbelievably happy he’s gone from this blog
August 27th, 2022 at 4:13 AM ^
Jfc dude
August 27th, 2022 at 1:14 AM ^
This board is ass. I miss the days when you could find actual content here.
August 27th, 2022 at 4:13 AM ^
What a stupid post, where are the mods???
August 27th, 2022 at 5:30 AM ^
I would say I like this thread, but that would be too positive.
I escaped the BPONE last year, but I didn't sell my property there. My car is still running waiting for me to get in and go back.
August 27th, 2022 at 8:56 AM ^
What is a colon blow, by the way, and do I have to drive to a strip mall to obtain one?
August 27th, 2022 at 12:35 PM ^
I'm nervous man not going to lie given two brand new offensive playcallers operating by committee, instead of a single offensive coordinator. I think our offense should be absolutely dominating the defense in practice even if the defense is pretty solid.
Okay had to get that out. Let's fucking go.
August 27th, 2022 at 6:18 PM ^
This board can eat my butthole for not instituting the single most common function on a forum and that is when there is a comment in a thread it “bumps” to the top. it is literally the most important function and can make moderation so much easier.
and all the people that complain about useless threads can suck my balls because without that simple function YOU ARE LITERALLY INVITING PEOPPE TO CREATE DUMBASS THREADS!
I’ve been here 10+ years and I do love all of you so there’s that.
and regarding football…if these assholes come out like they are here for the circle jerk and just want to roll their helmets on the field and win I’m going to lose my crap. For the love of God can a Michigan team “an edge” when expectations are high?!?!!!
and go eat more balls with the “tuck coming” thing. It is literally the dumbest saying I’ve ever heard. If I see one more tuck coming shirts I’m going to lose my mind. The average IQ of every person with a “tuck coming” short must by sub 70.
August 27th, 2022 at 11:10 PM ^
Urban Frost Kiffin slams Michelob Ultras before going to your mom’s house.
Milton is transferring back, and will be the starter against CSU…you bunch of gits.