Fultbol: FIFA spends $26M for movie, makes $918 in U.S.
Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.
FIFA spent $26M to make a movie about itself -- really, about Sepp Blatter and his cronies -- to tell us what wonderful things they have done for soccer and our planet.
And its total take in U.S. theatres: $918. Makes it the worst-performing actual movie in US history. No, I didn't forget to type a 'K" after 918. That's $918, not $918,000, and certainly not $918,000,000. It's $918. Total.
http://www.espnfc.com/fifa-world-cup/story/2496658/fifa-film-united-passions-the-worst-in-us-history
Love the tidbits in this story:
-- Original title, "Men of Legend." !!!! Seriously??? That's what they think of themselves?
-- There was actually a musical about vampires. Why didn't I know that?
-- Given the take at the box office in Russia, it appears this was one of the better movies available to see there this weekend. I guess Avengers 2 didn't translate well, or something. (I took Russian for a year and a half as an undergrad at UM -- Professor Eagle, anyone? -- and I believe the correct translation of "Ultron" in Russian is "Putin," so, that could be an issue.)
Tim Marchman from Deadspin saw it and reviewed it.
I can't believe they were able to use those self-worshipping lines in the movie without any shame
I had never seen a movie get 0% on the Tomatometer until this came out.
'Strange Wilderness' staring Steve Zahn, Justlin Long, Jonah Hill.
Thank me, later.
EDIT: Someone recently went back and gave it a positive review.
OP REMAINS ACCURATE
Good thing they got all that money from Russia and Qatar.
They should have bribed somebody to watch their product.
No, wait . . .
I assume that each of the 918 attendees was bribed
And yet each paid one dollar to attend. Strange indeed.
I just read a few reviews, all of which essentially agree that the film is almost cartoonishly awful and overall a catastrophe of cinema.
Of all the organizations that could make a film which would give "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" a run for its money (the original 1966 release, of course - it was hilariously mocked by MST3K later on), it would be FIFA. Sounds about right.
Actually, if they managed to work Torgo into this, it would on paper sound more watchable. I cannot believe I just said that. Supposedly, the director and cast of "United Passions" don't think much of the effort either, so there is that.
"master would not approve of..burn-in" with that goofy theme music
Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad
Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad
I'm not a Tim Roth fan by any stretch (though he did appear in a few good films), but did he do something to deserve your hatred? I'm legitimately not aware of any egregious crimes other than being a less than outstanding actor.
What do you have against Tim Roth? Off the top of my head...
- Reservoir Dogs
- Pulp Fiction
- Gridlock'd
- Rob Roy
I mean, I haven't seen him in anything lately, but he's been decent to good in a number of movies.
I've never looked forward so much to a bad guy getting butchered at the end of a movie. If only United Passions had incorporated that plot device, I bet FIFA could have recovered a lot more of its investment.
Roth makes my stomach turn, just like the real-life person he's playing.
I'm pretty shocked that Gérard Depardieu would participate in this also. He's a huge name in European cinema.
They were getting paid. Heck, if FIFA offered me a 7 figures to be in one of their propoganda movies, I'd do it.
Oh I'm sure. I just wouldn't think he'd need the cash.
It's not like it's Leni Riefenstahl's Triump of the Will. Also...nope, that's all I've got.
So, if we assume that on average, each person paid $10 for their ticket, that means that only about 90 people actually went and saw this movie. Maybe 100. That is unreal.
Vast majority (or maybe all) were probably bloggers and journalists there to review the movie.
Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad
That Men of Legend title makes me think they wanted to make a Men who Built America about themselves.
Isn't that about the total gate at any US pro soccer match?
>ducks<
I'll see myself out.
That is fantastic hair
Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad
God invented FIFA so that even the NCAA would have someone to laugh at.
At this point I almost want to see it for the unintentional comedy. When's it coming to Netflix?
movie that made less than $100, making it the worst movie draw of all time. But I know the producers of that film didn't spend millions to make it, either.
Never heard of it.
500 people went to a screening of Andy Warhol's Sleep, and that was intentionally terrible (the audience wasn't in on the fact that they were the joke, though).
http://artfcity.com/2015/05/22/friday-trivia-that-time-a-warhol-flick-a…
I've just seen this picture and man, I don't know if we're talking about the same movie. United Passions was a non-stop roller coaster of chills, thrills, spills - and kills!
/Quietly heads to bank to deposit contents of sack with large dollar sign on it.
John Oliver: The Mittens of Disapproval are On.
Sent from MGoBlog HD for iPhone & iPad
But I think this is the right answer.
Hire your brother's set design company for $1M. Or hire your sister-in-law's catering company for $1M. Heck, pay Tim Roth $5M with the understanding that he hands you a suitcase with $500k the next time he's in Trinidad.