Unverified Voracity's Hourglass Runs Out
A man who knew how to live.
RIP Terry Pratchett. British author Terry Pratchett died on Thursday at 66, eight years after being diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's.
Occasionally, people ask me about how to be a successful writer. This is kind of like asking a football player about his rad interception after the game—I don't really know, it just happened. But no one likes that answer. So my second-best guess is that I read many different things over a long period of time, and written various things for public consumption all along. Eventually I'd cribbed my style from so many different people that the pastiche seems like something its own. Voila: writer with Voice.
Pratchett was the first and most painfully obvious theft of the Big Four. (The others: Bloom County author Berke Breathed, David Foster Wallace, and SI's Paul Zimmerman.) He had not yet made a successful transition to this side of the Atlantic, but I had a friend in high school whose aunt was in British publishing. She passed Pratchett along to him, and he doled the books out to me one at a time. I lost one once and was terrified that I would not be entrusted with additional precious objects. But my friend kept giving them to me. For a time afterwards my prose was littered with jaunty footnotes and anthropomorphizations of natural forces. A pale imitation of the real thing.
I kept some of that, toning it down, and as I was reading the internet's obituary of the man I found this, in his own words:
There is a term that readers have been known to apply to fantasy that is sometimes an unquestioning echo of better work gone before, with a static society, conveniently ugly “bad” races, magic that works like electricity, and horses that work like cars. It’s EFP, or Extruded Fantasy Product. It can be recognized by the fact that you can’t tell it apart from all the other EFP.
Do not write it, and try not to read it. Read widely outside the genre. Read about the Old West (a fantasy in itself) or Georgian London or how Nelson’s navy was victualled or the history of alchemy or clock making or the mail coach system. Read with the mind-set of a carpenter looking at trees.
This is what I've done. I barely read sports books. I get a lot of them in the mail, or at least I used to before people cottoned onto the fact that a review was not likely to be forthcoming. I read fiction, right now mostly science fiction, and I think it serves the site well.
Pratchett was endlessly creative and subversive, often taking hallowed but trope-laden fantasy novels apart then reassembling them into a half-parodic, half-genuine whole far better than the source material. He found a platform, then found that he'd rather make his own characters than repackage the frustrating ones he found elsewhere. He was excellent at this as well. He always maintained a healthy fear of hollow marketing—Pratchett elves are twisted creatures who live in a neighboring dimension that project an aura of glamour that iron disrupts. His most prominent and probably favorite character was DEATH, yes with the bones and the scythe and everything. He was simultaneously very weird and very kind and very upset, and I'll miss him.
If you're interested in trying him out, I recommend Good Omens, a book he wrote with Neil Gaiman, Guards! Guards!, and Small Gods.
YES OKAY. I did think to myself "by dang, Dave Brandon was selling Extruded Michigan Product" when I read that.
Leach + Ufer. Via Dr. Sap:
Enter the 30 second shot clock. The NIT is experimenting with that and an NBA-size restricted circle, both of which are changes I can get behind as a COLLEGE BASKETBALL CRISIS skeptic. Kenpom notes that the Vegas over/unders for opening-round NIT games differ from his numbers by…
Predicted total score of Tuesday’s NIT games
Me Market Ala/Ill 126 136 GW/Pitt 125 136 NCC/Miami 117 129 UTEP/Murray 144 151 Mont/TAMU 125 134 UCD/Stan 140 148 Iona/URI 144 152The difference here is an average of seven percent. Apply that to the average scoring this season of 66.85 points per game and you’d get 71.5. That’s over a point higher than last season when the scoring average was propped up by an increase in free throws early in the season. And it’s higher than any season since 1996.
…seven percent, which in fact precisely offsets the drop in possessions from 2002 (the first year for which Kenpom has data) to 2015. Kenpom also points out that the drop from 45 seconds to 35 resulted in just a two percent increase in pace.
If this year's NIT doesn't show a large negative impact on efficiency, I would expect the 30 second clock to become standard in the near future.
Miller says adios. Already covered by Ace when it happened; Miller releases his own reasoning on twitter. It sounds like he was just done with football. This kind of thing happens when you have a transition, and if Miller didn't have much of an NFL career in the wings (he didn't) it makes sense to just go be in the world… if the alternative you most closely associate with continuing is the last two years of Michigan football followed by a jarring change.
I don't think this is a major issue since Michigan finally has a lot of depth that is not any variety of freshman. It is an indication that the team spirit was worn down extensively over the past couple years. It's one thing to walk away from an NFL job—it's a job. It's another, or at least should be another, to do so when you could be a senior at Michigan. Hopefully Harbaugh can restore that difference.
But it could be a problem because… Graham Glasgow violated the terms of his probation and is suspended as a result. The nature of his violation is worrying:
Michigan offensive lineman Graham Glasgow has been suspended from the program, according to a UM spokesman, after testing .086 on a Breathalyzer given on Sunday and violating his probation.
Testing barely over the legal limit to drive is not a big deal if you are not driving… except this test was done at ten in the morning. That is a red flag.
If Glasgow comes through this okay and gets a handle on things, the OL can sustain Miller's departure by sliding him back to center and inserting Erik Magnuson with little loss of efficacy. If Glasgow flames out, then things start to look a bit thin.
Harbaugh is hands on. Knuckle placement.
Hearing about it is one thing.
But seeing your head coach lying on the ground during practice to demonstrate the proper center-quarterback exchange technique?
Well, things get real at that point.
"He's really hands on with everything," the Michigan junior running back said with a smile Thursday. "When I first saw him (on the ground like that), I was like 'why is he doing this?' But I asked the centers the next day if that helped them and they said it did, they said that was the first time anyone had showed them something like that.
"So, I enjoyed it."
"…and barely avoided bursting into laughter like Derrick. RIP Derrick."
More people. Erik Campbell returns to staff as a… guy… who does… things. Probably works with film, breaks down opponent tendencies, that sort of thing. Michigan also added Cleveland St. Ed's head coach Jim Finotti as their Ops guy.
Obligatory. John Oliver on the NCAA:
It's a racket. Related: here's Andy Schwarz on Purdue's "internal services" sleight of hand. Long story short, Purdue takes profit from the athletic department and pretends it's an expense they are paying for. In this way it appears like the Boilermakers are not in the black, helping the NCAA cry poverty.
Finally. Bill Raftery, at 73, gets to call the Final Four. Raftery manages to bring the enthusiasm Dick Vitale does without being a braying nonsense merchant; he is one of the chosen few media people who can be utterly himself without getting in trouble for it and still be awesome. (Another: Scott Van Pelt.)
On long practices. Joe Bolden:
“I would say it’s probably the longest I’ve ever been on the football field, other than a game with a rain delay like Utah last year,” said senior linebacker Joe Bolden. “To me it flies by. If you tell a high school or college kid that they’re going to have a four-hour practice in pads they’ll think you’re a bit crazy. But at the same time, you don’t think about it when you’re out there. Your body can take a lot more than you think it can. If he wants to practice six hours, and it’s (within the practice time cap), then we’ll practice six hours.”
This man was not one of the Big Four influences. A nation realizes that those rabid anti-Rosenberg Michigan fans were probably right all along.
The prosecutor owes @Rosenberg_Mike a big thanks for establishing motive pic.twitter.com/GVDYqg8KHi
— cuppycup (@cuppycup) March 17, 2015
Etc.: Engineering your bracket. MGoGirl basketball post mortem. Jordan Morgan has a foundation now. John Harbaugh talking to the team. Enter another Glasgow. A comprehensive look at when to foul late in basketball games.
Bacon on Harbaugh's "weapons-grade intensity." Related: Pretty much.
not to be that guy, but end of first paragraph should be voila, not viola (a boxy sounding violin).
Brian is a huge Frank Viola fan.
Oh, how I miss the days of mustaches in baseball...
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shouldn't the publisher cringe at that too? wow
is amazing. I'm not even mad. I'm impressed.
In the old days, daily coverage of a good celebrity trial would sell a lot of newspapers. The weak coverage on the Hernadez trial is a bit conspicuous.
Not saying it is ok, but I think I could have blown a .086 this past Sunday morning at 10am after my St. Patrick's day celebrations on Saturday...
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March 18th, 2015 at 12:12 AM ^
Oh please. It's booze, not steroids or meth or something. Lots of these guys are partying during the season, let alone spring practice.
In my time hanging out with college athletes either during or shortly after college, I've learned that running being huge isn't the only things they do better than the rest of us - most of them can drink like you can't believe. So maybe Graham Glasgow can drink like a MFer and get up and practice just fine the next day? He wouldn't be the only one.
So the only way to match Glasgow's high score is by attending one of the largest parties of the year celebrating a holiday almost entirely about drinking alcohol? That argument is not exactly helping Glasgow.
March 18th, 2015 at 12:09 AM ^
Isn't that likely how Glasgow did it? Sounds like a St. Patty's day thing to me. His name is Glasgow, fergodsakes.
(Sure, that's probably Scottish or something, but come on).
Not saying it is ok
So what are you trying to say exactly?
March 18th, 2015 at 12:09 AM ^
That's it's not terribly difficult to do? Or incredibly uncommon?
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And thanks for the explanation of Pratchett as an inspiration. I've found myself sort of subconsciously associating the writing on this site with Pratchett's for a few years now, and I'm glad to find out that those associations are actually rooted in something substantive.
The recognition of Pratchett's work suffered at the hands of critics who, in Neil Gaiman's words "think serious is the opposite of funny." They're works of breathtaking beauty and literary brilliance, and almost totally overlooked by the critical community because of their genre. I don't think the parallels to the astounding level of writing we find on this sports blog need to be spelled out too much more than that.
The NCAA is the "have" and "have nots". The haves can afford to pay players. The haves--the vast majority of teams--cannot.
I believe the pay the players movement only speeds up the development of the Power 5 division which will separate the programs that generate profit and those that do not. The Power 5 will officially become what it has been for decades--a minor league for the NBA and NFL. The have nots will merge with FCS or lower divisions or cease to exist altogether
I don't know why they would merge or cease to exist. They would just attract a lower quality of player who does not attract interest from the Power 5, who will presumably be providing some type of compensation. In short, they will continue to get the same players they are already getting.
I don't think most basketball programs lose money. It's not that hard for basketball to be profitable. You don't have that many scholarships or that much equipment.
training table ...the costs add up. Now add that many schools don't come close to selling out and do not charge all that much for tickets and it is easy to see how a basketball program can lose money.
March 18th, 2015 at 12:27 AM ^
Agreed. And just consider scholarships, especially at a private school, which a lot of D1 basketball schools are. That part alone is almost a million bucks a year.
Now if that school has 13 home games a year (common for the smaller D1 schools who have to play most of their non-conference games away), they average 5,000 fans per game and charge $20 per ticket on average (which might be high) you get $1,300,000. So all ticket sales have barely covered your scholarships, and if you add in coaching salaries you're already well in the red. And we haven't even covered a recruiting budget, facilities, travel, etc. These mid-majors have very little TV income coming in or merchandise sales. They get some, but not at the level of a Power 5 program.
Think University of Detroit or Oakland University.
EDIT: I was a little ambitious in my numbers. UD averaged 2,400 per game last season and Oakland averaged 2,100 (although both played 15 games). That's $720,000 and $630,000 in revenue respectively. That's it you figure $20 average per ticket, which is likely high since I think students get in free and they count for a decent chunk of that number.
Sam Vines is up there, as is DEATH, as Brian notes. But my soft spot will reside with the Librarian for all time. Ook.
Another good starting place is Night Watch -- it has a time travel aspect that allows Pratchett to explore Sam Vimes' backstory and generally sort of revisit his earlier Discworld. For me, it's his strongest, most fully-realized book.
Among the early books, Mort is the one I remember most clearly.
As someone who is currently the primary caregiver for an Alzheimer's patient (not early onset -- mother-in-law, an academic who worked her whole career at the University of Michigan), I'd love to read an account of how Pratchett's care was handled. He was prolific in his last years, still writing up until about a year ago. He must have had some very loving people in his life, who were able to help him work within the limitations of the disease as it advanced through his brain.
The story of how they did so well in this would be inspiring to hear. It also says a lot about him as a human being, facing it as he must have. Each patient handles it differently. Though early-onset is a somewhat different animal than what we're facing (turned 90 last year).
I will look for that. Also responding to Teldar below...
I have to imagine that they must have sat down once he became unable to produce material without someone sitting beside him (around 2010, I would guess) and mapped out the basic storylines and underlying jokes for the last few books -- Snuff and Raising Steam, and the upcoming Tiffany Aching book.
The question then would be how to help him shape the previously-planned chapters. Someone would have to find ways to get him to phrase things and put words into the characters' mouths. You can't ask ALZ patients questions -- even yes or no answers can be problematic -- they tend to panic. You have to guide them. I guess I envision them (or more likely, just one person) sitting and talking with him about the book, getting him to live in that world, as it were. Discworld would likely have become quite real for Pratchett when talking about it -- I imagine those recordings must be heartbreaking and fascinating all at the same time.
He would also have sat down around then with Stephen Baxter and planned The Long Earth series -- the first of those books (2012) has a fair amount of Pratchett's whimsy to it, but the following two have less and less. Baxter is pretty much wholly without a sense of humor -- I do appreciate his style of hard science fiction and what might be called "hard" alternate history, but without Pratchett to shape them, the characters suffer. It will be interesting to see if Baxter will proceed with the fourth and fifth books that were planned for the series -- no doubt Practchett's concepts are in place for those.
EDIT: Apparently, the fourth book in the Long Earth series will be published in June, called The Long Utopia.
"Don't let me detain you."
The Colour of Magic was first, then The Light Fantastic.
Purdue's athletic department is giving less money back to the university than it has in the past. But the real point is that it's totally arbitrary -- it's logged as an expense for "internal services," without any reason to believe that the amount being shifted from the AD to the university actually correlates to actual expenses. The point of the linked article is that you can't reliably use numbers reported by an athletic department to say anything useful about the economics of college athletics.
Yes, companies can do that, but doing it deliberately and blatantly to maintain "nonprofit" status would is supposed to trigger a stink-eye from the IRS
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Made the mistake of looking at the comments section on the "Weapons Grade Intensity" WSJ article. *facepalm*
The comments section for any news site is the residence of imbeciles, cranks, and fanatics.
Raft did get to call the Final Four on the radio last year(and presumably previous years). I actually got into my car and drove around a little to listen to him call the game rather than sit at home and listen to Steve Kerr.
What's wrong with Kerr? It seems EVERY broadcaster is terrible to everyone these days.
I mean, Kerr was the one who called the Trey Burke shot..."Are you KIDDING ME!?!!!".
Kerr was a good analyst, but I think Raft's enthusiasm and style actually mesh better with Nantz/Hill so far than Kerr did with Nantz/Anthony. Also, Raft is just pretty great in general. Though I'll miss him with Uncle Verne, he brings a completely different presence and style to the Nantz team that I think adds a lot to the broadcast.
Kerr with Marv Albert and Mike Fratello for NBA on TNT was great. Both Fratello and Kerr were good analysts as well. You could tell they all had worked together extensively and enjoyed it too, particularly with Albert and Kerry both having a rather dry/sarcastic sense of humor that at times would be directed at Fratello.
March 18th, 2015 at 12:10 AM ^
Kerr was fine. Don't know how you could stand 99% of everyone else if you couldn't stand Kerr.
The real problem is Nantz, who never seems like he actually enjoys the game. Hecomes across as biding time until he can announce the Masters, where his sanctimony is right at home.
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