ESPN sucks
ten seconds ago, ESPN sent me a pop-up notification that gave me a minor heart attack.
The words "Jim Harbaugh leaves Michigan" are in the title.
I know, I read the letter Coach wrote to parents and he ain't leaving.
clickbait much?
the article is behind a paywall but I would never pay for their shilling.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:01 PM ^
Sparty crush has entered the transfer portal
October 28th, 2019 at 1:16 PM ^
Your offer was a non-commitable offer
October 28th, 2019 at 12:01 PM ^
You hate ESPN so much that you subscribe to their push notifications? This doesn’t seem like an ESPN problem.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:04 PM ^
Not to thread-jack, but if anyone knows how to unsubscribe from the snail-mail notifications I get from "Internal Revenue Service," I'd be grateful. I generate enough internal revenue, thank you very much.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:28 PM ^
On the same lines, I've repeatedly told the FBI that I've unsubscribed from their in-person notification service.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:30 PM ^
Who did you rat out to the Feds?
October 28th, 2019 at 12:29 PM ^
Go here and read how to turn off notifications:
That said, what does 'snail-mail notifications I get from "Internal Revenue Service mean"'? The IRS doesn't notify you via email as far as I know.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:39 PM ^
Snail mail, is mail in your mail box. Outside of your house or apartment in hard copy form.
Regular mail through the post office = slow = snail, and rhymes with mail.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:48 PM ^
"Sneaker-net" is downloading data to a portable hard drive and carrying it to another computer for uploading.
TheMoreYouKnow.gif ?
October 28th, 2019 at 1:03 PM ^
No, its copying data to a floppy disk and carrying it to another computer.
October 28th, 2019 at 5:13 PM ^
The ethernet is for the etherbunny.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:55 PM ^
I got a phone call from them yesterday telling me I owed EXACTLY $10,000 in back taxes, and I had to pay them back in Amazon gift cards immediately or they would send the Sheriff to arrest me. It really sucked but I guess that's how they do it now.
October 28th, 2019 at 1:40 PM ^
They told me my social security number was going to be canceled. Sucks to be me, I guess.
October 28th, 2019 at 6:44 PM ^
Wait, they told me it was Target gift cards!?! Then they said GameStop cards would work. Man, the IRS is confusing...
October 28th, 2019 at 4:01 PM ^
Sorry to threadjack your threadjack, how do I unsubscribe from scam phone calls in Mandarin? My preference is to receive scam calls in English or possibly in German if they speak slowly and don’t use big words. Ha ha, just kidding, there are no German words that aren’t big.
October 29th, 2019 at 3:15 PM ^
Nein.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:10 PM ^
I like their breaking news and pinning live scores, but their editorializing (OMFG Zion!!! LeBron!!!!!) sucks.
any way I can get one without the other?
October 28th, 2019 at 12:46 PM ^
I feel like a lot of the time, their live scores are too far behind to even be super useful. ESPN has become quite unbearable on most platforms. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:02 PM ^
Of course they suck. They hired Jemele Hill. You shouldn't get pop-ups from shitty websites and then complain they're stupid.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:39 PM ^
That show they created with her and Michael Smith (SC6 I think?) was such an awful show, my Gawd. "Let's create a hip, urban version of Sportcenter that the kids will like!" Such a transparent, pandering attempt. One of their many bad decisions the last few years
October 28th, 2019 at 12:51 PM ^
"Sports" was like #6 on the things they would talk about, according the the show ads they broadcast. I saw the ad and never tuned it. RIP 6:00 SportsCenter
October 28th, 2019 at 1:00 PM ^
You know they completely missed the mark on that show cause I kind of liked it and I'm
- Not hip
- Not young
- Not urban
October 28th, 2019 at 1:22 PM ^
Maybe you're not hip, but at least you haven't had any replaced. Unless you have.
October 29th, 2019 at 6:13 PM ^
I always like your takes but now I'm forced to question that
October 28th, 2019 at 12:02 PM ^
It literally says "hypotheticals" before it mentions Harbaugh. Sure, ESPN sucks, but this isn't really why...
October 29th, 2019 at 8:33 AM ^
The popup strongly implied that the hypotheticals refers to hypothetical replacements given his departure.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:02 PM ^
ESPN does suck
October 28th, 2019 at 12:08 PM ^
For those who don't want to give ESPN the clicks, the headline is:
Coaching carousel hypotheticals: Lincoln Riley to NFL, Jim Harbaugh leaves Michigan and more
October 28th, 2019 at 12:19 PM ^
Here is the part where they talk about Michigan, it isn't that interesting:
Michigan and Michigan State part ways with coaches Jim Harbaugh and Mark Dantonio
The Mitten State might become the epicenter for this year's carousel intrigue. Despite Saturday's rout of Notre Dame, the debate about Harbaugh's future at Michigan intensifies with every loss to a top-10 opponent. Dantonio is headed toward a second straight middling season at Michigan State, which reached the playoff in 2015 but has backslid since.
If Harbaugh falls to 0-5 against Ohio State, there's a chance he and the school decide to part ways. Though it's extremely unlikely Michigan would fire Harbaugh, the short length of his remaining contract (two seasons) and constant NFL interest would make a separation possible. If Michigan opens, Campbell probably would be a prime target. Michigan is at or near the top of his list of preferred destinations. Baylor's Rhule also makes a lot of sense for Michigan, which could afford just about any buyout.
Michigan also could call former Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops, who might consider a return, but only at a legacy program. Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin has an affinity for Michigan and could be worth pursuing. Wake Forest's Dave Clawson, a consistent winner at one of the toughest Power 5 jobs, also should be on Michigan's list.
Dantonio's situation is delicate, given his success at MSU (111-54 record). He's due a one-time retention bonus of $4.3 million if still coaching the Spartans on Jan. 15. He also is set to be deposed after the season by attorneys for former staffer Curtis Blackwell, who is suing MSU for wrongful termination. There's industry talk of MSU finding a permanent athletic director, which complicates a coaching transition. But Dantonio's future is a popular topic right now.
Assuming Dantonio is not back, MSU would have an interesting candidate pool. Fickell has the exact same profile as Dantonio --- former Ohio State defensive coordinator who then became Cincinnati's head coach. He's also very close to Dantonio. Would MSU pursue Pitt coach Pat Narduzzi, Dantonio's longtime defensive coordinator? If the school breaks from the Dantonio tree and seeks an offensive jolt, coaches like Minnesota's Fleck (started his career at Western Michigan) and Syracuse's Dino Babers make sense.
If MSU sticks with defense, Cal's Justin Wilcox is a good option. Wilcox loved his time in the Big Ten at Wisconsin. Top defensive coordinator candidates who could fit at MSU include Oklahoma's Grinch, LSU's Dave Aranda, Texas A&M's Mike Elko and Wisconsin's Jim Leonhard.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:51 PM ^
That list for Michigan starts out fine (Stoops would be a great hire in that situation), but "Mike Tomlin" and "Dave Clawson" are...just... no. If any NFL Coach with a Michigan "affinity" would be the choice, it would be Sean Payton. I'd rather see Matt Campbell, Matt Rhule, Babers, or about a dozen other people before I'd be OK with Tomlin (who is a great pro coach) or Clawson (lol nope).
October 28th, 2019 at 1:31 PM ^
The article really goes off the rails when Mike Tomlin's name comes into it. Apparently he might be our next head coach because he said some nice things about Michigan one time.
October 28th, 2019 at 1:03 PM ^
You just gotta love any article that basically says...
"This thing we're wildly speculating to happen in all probability won't happen but if it DID happen this is what we think will happen next.
But it probably wont. I mean it almost certainly wont. But just think about what might happen if it did!"
October 28th, 2019 at 1:06 PM ^
this is exactly my problem with it! thanks for nailing why I hate ESPN.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:14 PM ^
I'd be curious about what Fickell would do if MSU came calling. I could see him staying at Cincinnati and hoping the OSU job comes open in the next couple years with Day leaving for the NFL, or he takes the jump the MSU and understands that he will probably never get the OSU job after that.
Fickell would be a good hire for them too. With the current coaches at the big three in the division, I don't see MSU winning the conference in the forseeable future. While their roster is a mess right now, I can see Fickell keeping them at 8-9 wins consistently and beating one of the big 3 each season or every other.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:38 PM ^
I'd be curious about what Fickell would do if MSU came calling.
Get a raise at Cincinnati.
MSU has never been a dream job for anyone, and it's even less desirable now than it was when Mork got hired. MSU fans have tasted success and want more, the next coach is following the best coach in MSU's history, the current roster is total shit, AND Michigan/PSU/OSU are all operating at a high level.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:52 PM ^
I would stay at Cincinnati, but alot of these coaches have immense confidence in their abilities and are very competitive. His ceiling at Cincy is to try and crash a NY6 Bowl every few years. But he's never going to have a perennial top 10 program there.
Now, I think there are alot of barriers at MSU - namely Michigan, Penn St and Ohio St - to doing so at MSU, but he would also have much more access to better facilities and recruiting at MSU than he would ever get at Cincinnati. Coaches are constantly moving up to "better" jobs even when the situation isn't all that great. His salary would probably almost be doubled at MSU. Cincy can only pay so much.
Now, the one thing that would really hold him back form going there is instability in the administration. No permanent AD in place. University as a whole dealing with scandals. You take a job, you want some stability when you get there.
October 28th, 2019 at 1:33 PM ^
I could be convinced either way if it's easier to recruit at MSU or Cincy. Dantonio has never recruited spectacularly there. He's needed down years from Michigan to pull top in state guys and then grab the leftovers from OSU. Ohio has better in state talent and should be able to support multiple top 25 teams if they could keep the rest of the big ten out. If Fickell can accomplish that to a degree at cincy his ceiling might actually be higher there.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:36 PM ^
Jim Harbaugh generates clicks.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:45 PM ^
Mmhmm. Spend one week on /r/CFB and you'll pretty much see this come to life.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:46 PM ^
Is Texas one of the teams with a hypothetical coaching change? You have to wonder how much rope they are going to give Tom Herman if he loses 4 or more games again. It is insane to me that if Texas loses another game this year they would have lost 4 or more games every year since 2010. Made the national media should redirect some of their negativity about Harbaugh to some other coaches/programs that are underachieving to an even larger degree.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:56 PM ^
They went to a NY6 bowl and their conference title game last year, which is why they lost 4 games. Unless they lose out, he's not feeling any significant heat outside of the natural pressure every coach feels at a top 10 job that didn't win their conference.
October 28th, 2019 at 1:03 PM ^
I mean sure but it is equally ridiculous if not more so to think Michigan would mutually part ways with Harbaugh if they win 9 or 10, but lose to OSU. Three of Texas's losses last year also came to teams outside the top 15 and two unranked teams.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:57 PM ^
Remember that the “E” in ESPN stands for Entertainment and it is listed before Sports.
if they had their priorities in order the company name should be SEPN...
October 28th, 2019 at 12:55 PM ^
For those who can’t read it, they’re calling for:
James Franklin to USC
One of Moorehead, Rhule, Campbell, OT Fickell to Penn State
FSU fires Willie
Hires one of Mark Stoops, Rhule, either of Clemson’s coordinators, PJ Fleck, Cristobal, or Leach to replace him.
Lincoln Riley goes to the NFL
Oklahoma hires one of Venables, Matt Campbell, Fuente at VT, or promote Grinch.
Michigan and Harbaugh mutually agree to part ways if he loses to Ohio State.
Replaced by one of Bob Stoops, Matt Campbell (they say Michigan is one of his preferred destinations), Rhule, Dave Clawson of Wake Forrest, and.....Mike Tomlin of the Steelers.
Mork Dantoni doesn’t come back, MSU is in flux because they still don’t have a permanent AD in place.
Names they’d look at are Fickell, Narduzzi, Fleck, Justin Wilcox (Cal to MSU seems like a lateral move to me), and Dino Babers. DC names they drop that could be a match for MSU include Grinch, Elko, Aranda, Leonhard.
Id assume they hire Narduzzi.
October 28th, 2019 at 12:58 PM ^
Unless they get a permanent AD in place or the president has a big hand in the hiring process, I think he'd be the only one to take the job.
October 28th, 2019 at 1:02 PM ^
Water is wet. But thanks for linking something I will not be clicking.
October 28th, 2019 at 1:49 PM ^
My son texted this to me in a panic this morning. ESPN does indeed suck.
October 28th, 2019 at 1:56 PM ^
I think this proposition has been well established for quite some time, hasn’t it?
October 28th, 2019 at 1:59 PM ^
I firmly believe these guys know they are doing what they are doing just to get clicks.
This is really, really irresponsible journalism. I used to get sick of the ESPN DERP threads, because, well, why talk about that poop especially when everyone here claims to hate it so much.
But geezus they have no shame.
October 28th, 2019 at 4:02 PM ^
Not to criticize, but your forgot the "still" part in your headline of the post.