Georgia Southern QB Arrested For Bird Poop
Thought everyone would get a kick out of this one. What a bizarre story.
In case you don't want to have to go to the link:
The QB was pulled over for speeding (80 mph) after calling police dispatchers to inform them he was not pulling over immediately because the area wasn't well-lit enough.
Police tested a white substance on the QB's hood and found it tested positive for cocaine. (The QB claimed it was bird poop). The QB was arrested for possession of less than 1g of cocaine.
The team suspended the QB indefinitely on Friday, but he was reinstated after passing a team-administered drug test.
Moral of the Story: Don't park under trees or power lines or you will go to jail.
That shit's for the birds!
I'll show myself out
What about all the OSU players? I imagine they have enough bird shit on their helmets to prosecute.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:12 AM ^
Wait, what? The birds were doing cocaine and there were traces in their poop?!
August 7th, 2019 at 10:17 AM ^
We should doubt that. The "first screen" drug tests that authorities perform have a high false positive rate, both because their chemical mechanism is poorly specific and because the authorities performing them don't have sufficient clinical or scientific training to avoid mistakes. It is even possible that bird splat is a widely known false positive.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:40 AM ^
The original article says it tested positive twice. Odd story.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:00 AM ^
You can't get good information by repeating a bad test. If they used the same test twice and if bird splat is one of that tests' nonspecific activators, then they could have run thee test fifty times with fifty false positives.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:53 AM ^
And now bird poops are worth more than gold in Georgia
August 7th, 2019 at 10:20 AM ^
Weird! Was he doing lines on the front of his hood?
August 7th, 2019 at 10:49 AM ^
with birds, apparently
August 7th, 2019 at 11:03 AM ^
...at 80 mph. is there such a thing as tar cocaine?
August 7th, 2019 at 11:05 AM ^
I mean even if he was, how does cocaine stay on top of a car going 80? And how was there any left? I've heard, from a friend, that usually leftover cocaine is taken up with a finger and rubbed on the gums.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:31 AM ^
Funny...my friend told me the same thing! But why is my tongue numb?
August 7th, 2019 at 11:45 AM ^
So the team drug test confirms he doesn't do cocaine, although it probably would be out of his system by then....
Doesn't mean what was tested on his car wasn't, he could've been dealing and tried to dispose of it.
I don’t know exactly what happened here, but it seems there may have been some fowl play.
OT?
Cops were probably just pissed that he didn't pull over right away
August 7th, 2019 at 10:17 AM ^
Yep... The guy was completely in the right to call the station and tell them what was up. The cops in the car should have accepted that as a smart thing to do. I have bird poo all over the doors of my wife's car because of a, ahem, confused cardinal, who keeps trying to fly and peck its way inside the car. I'd be livid if anyone thought it should be tested for cocaine! Although, that bird is probably snorting it...
August 7th, 2019 at 10:57 AM ^
Other option: flip on your hazzards. I was told by my uncle (County Deputy and former State Hwy patrolman) that this was the universal sign for "I see your lights but I don't want to pull over yet." Their office told girls to do this if they were ever pulled over in the country or in a bad neighborhood, just in case the officer was fake.
I've dealt with law enforcement in Bulloch county and am not confident that all their officers would understand that. The downside is that they may try to charge you with fleeing and eluding if they believe you saw them and didn't stop. Not terrible if you get charged with the misdemeanor in that code section because you'll get a bond, but if they are pissed and slap you with a felony fleeing and eluding charge (involves aggravating circumstances), your butt will be sitting in the jail there until you get your preliminary hearing which could easily be a few weeks. So calling 911 was probably the smart thing to do even though I don't like the possibility that those statements could potentially be used against the driver in court later.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:21 AM ^
He has the right to violate traffic laws for what he perceives as his safety? Driving 80 MPH is dangerous good thing he didn’t hit anyone could have been a disaster
August 7th, 2019 at 11:34 AM ^
You've extrapolated a bit too far... It's pretty clear in my post that I was referring to calling the station about not pulling over immediately. I said nothing about why he was being pulled over. Maybe next time I'll try for pictures?
Wow insinuating that I’m unable to grasp simple concepts and insulting my intellect simply because I don’t agree with you...wait I’ve seen this somewhere before. Funny jab keyboard gangsta.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:27 AM ^
Funny you say that about the cardinal. There are two at my work that poop all over the side of my car everyday in the spring. They see their reflection in the windows and mirrors and go crazy trying to attack their reflection.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:07 AM ^
Hey, my Cockatoo keeps getting into my stash, man.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:16 AM ^
... said the hermaphrodite
August 7th, 2019 at 10:45 AM ^
Your comment is even funnier if you read it in Tommy Chong's voice.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:46 AM ^
You know I did!
August 7th, 2019 at 10:13 AM ^
I hate it when I park under a tree that drops cocaine residue on my vehicle hood.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:16 AM ^
Sounds like bad policing to me.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:31 AM ^
Bad? I would say something sounds really suspect with this whole thing. How would a reasonable person suspect cocaine would stay on a car, going 80 mph, and say it really was on his car, you can get arrested for possession at that point? WTF?
August 7th, 2019 at 10:33 AM ^
So... you agree it was bad?
August 7th, 2019 at 11:22 AM ^
Sounds like the police acted upon the information on hand like most people do.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:30 AM ^
Keep telling yourself that.
And you keep telling yourself whatever CNN and MSNBC tell you to.
August 7th, 2019 at 10:32 AM ^
I'm not sure how many cases there are of this stuff but [John Oliver] did a piece on it awhile back and police test all sorts of stupid things in people's car and come up with false positives for drugs. It's essentially harassment. Cops knew the bird poop wasn't cocaine.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:06 AM ^
I had a friend in high school get pulled over and he also did not pull over right away or as fast as the officer liked. They accused and tested an old and opened clear Hall's cough drop as being a crack rock...
August 7th, 2019 at 11:04 AM ^
Do you have any idea the street value of this bird shit?
August 7th, 2019 at 11:06 AM ^
Most cops are good folks.
Some, like these, are asshats who feed on the power and believe they're a level above citizens. They have breakdowns when someone doesn't comply immediately even if it is well within their rights to not comply.
I hope these cops get suspended.
August 7th, 2019 at 12:31 PM ^
How come the good cops never stop the bad cops.
I think they do, but obviously they don't get all of them. You hear about the ones they don't get.
And I agree with everyone else who thinks this sounds like bad, perhaps malicious, policing.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:09 AM ^
Obviously the cops planted the birds.
August 7th, 2019 at 11:14 AM ^
I feel as though had he asked for a supervisor this could have been cleared up pretty quickly, no?
August 7th, 2019 at 11:23 AM ^
Only if he repeated it like 100 times
August 7th, 2019 at 11:19 AM ^
Performance-enhancing dung?
August 7th, 2019 at 11:46 AM ^
I'd like to know what kind of cocaine that cop has been sniffing that he thinks bird shit looks like coke.
The answer is right under your nose (no pun intended): bird shit
August 7th, 2019 at 11:50 AM ^
Had them Statesboro blues.
How is this protecting and serving in any way?