I need time to emotionally encompass the thing that just happened so here's some rote "what's next" stuff.

WHAT'S NEXT

Beilein's sudden departure is horribly timed as Michigan attempts to fill the roster holes left by Jordan Poole and (almost certainly) Ignas Brazdeikis. They were on the verge of a commitment from grad transfer Jaevin Cumberland and trying to get Franz Wagner to follow his brother from Alba Berlin to Ann Arbor; the latter is probably dead and Cumberland may go off the board to Oregon before Michigan can get it together.

But Michigan has clout, especially now that Beilein's put them in a spot where they've got as many NCAA tournament wins as anyone over the last six years. They can swing at some names. The problem is that the coaching carousel has already stopped and the obviously attractive candidates have already been poached. A list of oh-well-too-lates:

• Buffalo's Nate Oats got hired by Alabama
• Nevada's Eric Musselman went to Arkansas
• Cincinnati's Mick Cronin went to UCLA
• VT's Buzz Williams went to Texas A&M
• Wofford's Mike Young went to VT

Meanwhile Chris Beard signed a giant contract. It's not unprecedented for coaches to say "whoops" and bolt before they even play a game—Beard was UNLV's coach for exactly 19 days before Tech came calling—but it is rare and probably expensive. With football driving giant revenues at SEC schools it's unlikely Michigan could meaningfully outbid the opposition. Oats, the only guy on the list with any ties to the area, already shot it down publicly. I'm not going to the mat for any of the other guys except maybe Buzz Williams, and god knows A&M will throw gobs of cash at him.

What's left is a combination of extreme long shots that don't require much discussion and… almost nothing else. Sure, if one of Brad Stevens, Chris Beard, Jay Wright, or Mark Few wants the job, Michigan should give it to him. On this we are agreed. Make all the longshot phone calls.

In the highly likely case none of these land, here's what you're looking at. I mean, I guess? I don't know. I'm assuming that Michigan is willing to hire a guy who will look the other way at bag, but not one with extant NCAA or ethical baggage. That rules out Bruce Pearl, Dana Altman, and Kelvin Sampson.

Michigan's assistants are also not listed below. Sam suggested that an internal hire is not on the cards "before an exhaustive search followed by an interim season," which sounds like the end of the world. I do have a line beyond which we might as well hire Yaklich. It is stunningly high up the list. There is no-damn-body available right now.

BILLY DONOVAN, OKC

Donovan is much less of a long shot than Brad Stevens because of a precarious employment situation. The Thunder have been bounced from the first round of the playoffs for three straight years and while OKC picked up the option on his contract that only extends through next year. The Athletic recently speculated on some problems between Donovan and Russell Westbrook…

I keep hearing rumblings that Westbrook’s faith has waned in Donovan, and close observers this season have caught several curious in-game moments between coach and star that make you wonder. If the relationship is fractured, Donovan’s done. It’s hard for any coach to survive three straight first-round exits, and if there’s trouble brewing between that coach and his biggest star then that coach has no chance of survival.

…shortly after the Thunder's GM said he "anticipates" Donovan will return next year, which is ominous language if you're the head coach headed into a lame-duck year. If Donovan thinks he's done in OKC sooner or later, a top 15 college job which won't catch any FBI fallout may be enough to make the move.

Donovan hasn't dominated the NBA but after a 19-year run at a football school with two national titles, three final fours, six elite eights, and 14 bids there is no question he would be a slam-dunk hire. Despite his gigantic track record he's just 53.

[After THE JUMP: two more guys, Yak, and then garbage trash I wouldn't even throw out]

STEVE PROHM, IOWA STATE

Prohm is the only probably acquirable college coach with three top 20 Kenpom teams the last four years. In his tenure the Cyclones have been 20th, 17th, 103rd, and 15th. They've had three bids, a four, a five, and a six-seed. Prohm inherited a good situation from Fred Hoiberg and Iowa State has a fair bit of tradition, but for the Cyclones to tread water in a brutal Big 12 is impressive. This year was all his own roster.

Before Iowa State, Prohm was on the Murray-State-to-major-job conveyor belt, compiling a 54-10 conference record and grabbing a six-seed with the #35 team in the country in his first year; the Racers went 29-6 and were 57th in Knepom during his final year. While there he recruited Cameron Payne, a who-dat recruit who became a first-round pick.

Prohm doesn't come with the sexy tournament run that guys like Shaka Smart do, but I'd rather have the guy who pounds out non-bubble bids in a brutal conference with regularity. His recruiting has been good given his location: Talen Horton-Tucker was barely outside the top 50 and the year before Lindell Wigginton was 35th, and both guys were coming out of high school—Hoiberg's teams were full of transfers. Prohm's not above digging into the transfer market himself, since nobody can avoid it these days. He seems to be a good recruiter.

Prohm's 44, FWIW. His teams have really good offenses, so if he could hold onto Yaklich that could be a thing.

JUWAN HOWARD, HEAT ASSISTANT

No, seriously. Howard's been a lead NBA assistant for six years and has interviewed for a couple of head jobs. No recruiting experience, but… I'm gonna say he'd be pretty good at it. Doesn't have the "turned Beilein defense into ball of knives" card. Could keep Yak. Well-respected around the league:

Honestly, if Juwan would be interested in moving down to college, I think this is the best idea I’ve heard yet about Michigan. Howard is extremely well respected around the NBA. https://t.co/J42uQe98Av

— Sam Vecenie (@Sam_Vecenie) May 13, 2019

Downside is that if he ends up succeeding he too could bolt for the pros, but if that gives Michigan enough time to see if Lavall Jordan or Patrick Beilein is ready another departure wouldn't be the end of the world.

Howard's a massive swing for the fences, which is preferable to hiring a middling coach at a Big East school, which is most of the rest of this list. Pretty much all of the rest of this list? Once you slice out the old, the baggage-encumbered, and the recent switches things are incredibly thin.

------------------------THE YAK LINE--------------------------

[Marc-Gregor Campredon]

I'd rather just hire Yaklich than anyone below this line. Yaklich has the edge on the other two assistants because he was Michigan's defensive coordinator and the two-year turnaround under him was stunning. It's likely he's a legit difference maker in that department. Personnel can only explain so much when you have the #3 D in the country while playing Moe Wagner and Duncan Robinson starters' minutes. The other two assistants can't say that.

Some people will argue this line is way too high but the names down here are just as much a shot in the dark as he is. I believe the way he got hired and the results since his hire indicate a guy worth taking a shot on.

LAVALL JORDAN, BUTLER

[Bryan Fuller]

Former Michigan assistant had one bad year at Wisconsin-Milwaukee when another late coaching shift took Chris Holtmann to OSU and opened up the Butler job. Jordan had a solid first year, going 9-9 in a tough Big East and reaching the round of 32 as a 10 seed. This year Butler slipped to 16-17 because their defense imploded. Jordan managed to ship the worst defensive center in the country…

…to Indiana, though, so maybe he'll bounce back. Jordan has more head coaching experience under his belt but honestly seems less proven to me than Yaklich, who is clearly an elite defensive coach. He's a couple years away from having a hireable resume.

CHRIS COLLINS, WHAT THE FU-

I… help

MY PICK

Chris Collins – I think Manuel could get him, and he makes sense. The 45-year-old did take Northwestern to its first-ever NCAA Tournament in 2017. He has strong midwestern ties and has shown the ability to recruit at a high level — both at Duke and Northwestern.

There ain't a building in the world tall enough to jump off of if this guy is Michigan's next coach.

One bubble bid in 2017, 6-12 and 4-16 in conference since. What on earth.

You know what, no one down here is even worth evaluating. Bundle time:

VARIOUS INSANITIES

For the record, these people have been mentioned in articles by apparently un-institutionalized people:

• Bobby Hurley. .500 in the Pac-12.
• Rick Pitino. Hard pass on the criminal sex vampire.
• Porter Moser. One bid in 15 seasons.
• John Thompson III. Out of basketball!
• Bob McKillop. Is 68.
• Steve Pikiell. Cumong man.
• Johnny Dawkins. Was 66-78 in Pac-12 play. One bid with Tacko Fall doesn't overturn that.
• Kevin Willard, Seton Hall. NCAA issues too prominent. Six seasons as Pitino assistant, so… yeah. M probably not touching that.
• Almost anything else on Mike DeCourcy's list.

Every single attainable college head coach other than Prohm is dubious and you might as well roll with the program.