11/20/2021 – Michigan 59, Maryland 18 – 10-1, 7-1 Big Ten

There's something about playing Maryland that causes the details to evaporate immediately after the game. Things I remember from previous Maryland games: they played a tiny quarterback once, there were some annoying screens, the end. Rutgers has at least had the decency to be memorably bad (and yes occasionally feisty); Maryland is forgettably bad unless you are Texas.

I will make an effort to remember the throwback kick return touchdown, but it will be an effort. Mentioning the kick return has caused me to remember that Michigan returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown in this game a few years ago, so there's a third thing. Fourth thing. Whatever. Those screens were really annoying, though.

This game in particular evaporated like the haze after a dream. Michigan was up some points, and then they were up a lot of points, and then slightly fewer, and then Alan Bowman was chucking passes to a guy named "Will Rolapp," who is from Connecticut and seems very nice. If you concentrated you could remember various sequences that led to the absurdly lopsided score, but only one at a time. The others shimmered out of focus as soon as attention wavered.

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The thing that is likely to stick longest is Mike Locksley looking on at his charges with a series of facial expressions that started out at exasperated and quickly elevated to day three of potty training. On day three of potty training you have been in the bathroom for three days and the child is still wandering around like a ticking time bomb, oblivious to any of the rules laid out over the previous, grueling 48 hours. There is a high probability the child will stand there with a stupid grin on his or her face while evacuating a bladder as you moan something along the lines of "in the potty! IN THE POTTY! WE HAVE BEEN OVER THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THE PEE GOES IN THE someone get me a drink right now GOT DARNED POTTY!"

This is when you give up and try again later, in my experience, but Mike Locksley can't just put some sort of cat-themed cartoon on for his players and then go stare at a wall with a glass in both hands. I mean, not in the third quarter. He obviously did that after the game. The only entertainment option on the flight home was a tween in cat ears turning into a cartoon version of herself so she can go play in her cat doll house. The team was fine with this—enraptured, even. Mike Locksley sat in the first row with a bottle of whiskey strapped into the seat next to him. Locksley said nothing for the whole flight, and his only motion was occasionally bringing the glass to his mouth. The lone exception is 45 minutes into the flight, when something between a shudder and a sigh trembled out of his lips. Then back to stone silence.

I guarantee you this is exactly what occurred on Saturday night. There are no other options.

But in the third quarter Mike Locksley is contractually obligated to continue day three of potty training into the undiscovered country of day four. Then cameras will cut to him after his quarterback scrambles wildly, then hurls a ball directly to the chest of a Michigan defensive back, then inexplicably stops instead of pushing said defensive back out of bounds. The defensive back will subsequently score a touchdown.

Next Maryland drive and Tagovailoa throws a terrible pass.

DJ Turner steps in front of it and takes it 50 yards to the house for a Pick 6 and a 52-18 lead. pic.twitter.com/NCfyJJL8Hc

— Due# (@JDue51) November 21, 2021

It is at this point that Mike Locksley will invent entirely new levels of disappointed dad face. Muscles will contort into heretofore unknown arrangements in order to communicate pure agony. You can see the man calculating what boarding school will cost, and whether he can afford both it and the country club. A thought flickers but no, it is too late to put them up for adoption, that is probably not legal.

There's nothing for it: one can only endure, and contort. Endurance is all. Contortion is required. Stoicism is impossible but given everything that's going on any reaction short of Falling Down is a noble endeavor. Mike Locksley got home late Saturday night, and sat down, and had not committed any crimes. Well done, sir.

Anyway, it's Ohio State week. We're all Mike Locksley now. Stay safe out there.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

[Sherman]

you're the man now, dog

#1 Donovan Edwards. Donovan Edwards caught ten passes for 170 yards, surpassing any single season of Chris Evans's career in a single game as a true freshman. This is simultaneously wonderful and encouraging since Edwards is clearly a Weapon that must be accounted for by trying to Cover Him With Linebackers and that is Never Going To Work, and also WHAT WERE WE DOING WITH CHRIS EVANS FOR FOUR YEARS HE'S IN THE NFL NOW JESUS CHRIST

/breathes into paper bag

#2 Aidan Hutchinson. Breaking the duo up this week since Hutchinson had a TFL and a PBU, the TFL on fourth and two, while Ojabo was fairly muted except for a hold he drew. Hutchinson again made the PFF team of the week, and had five solo tackles as a DE.

#3 Cade McNamara. 9.3 YPA, 2 TD, 0 INT. Yes, disproportionate chunk came on the long TD but McNamara feathered that in there so Edwards didn't have to break stride. That YAC is partially his. Did get bailed out a wee bit by his receivers and alarmingly thunked two passes into OL helmets, but 21/28 for 259 yards in three quarters… eh, I'll take it.

Honorable mention: Mike Sainristil and Andrel Anthony only caught one pass each but both were 1s on the UFR charting so here you go, it's a point. Michael Barrett's throw across the field was perfect. Matt Torey blocked a punt.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

47: Aidan Hutchinson (HM WMU, #2 Wash, #1 Rutgers, #1 Wisc, HM Neb, #2 NW, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU, #2 Maryland)
30: Hassan Haskins (HM WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, #2 Neb, T1 NW, #1 IU, #2 PSU)
21: David Ojabo (#2 Wisc, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU)
18: The OL (#1 Wash, #1 NIU, HM Neb, HM NW)
17: Blake Corum (#2 WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, HM Neb, T1 NW)
13: Cade McNamara (#1 MSU, HM IU, HM PSU, #3 Maryland)
11: Donovan Edwards(T2 NIU, #1 Maryland)
8: Ronnie Bell (#1 WMU), Brad Hawkins (#1 Neb), Dax Hill (#3 WMU, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM Neb, HM MSU)
7: Brad Robbins (HM Wash, #3 Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM PSU), Josh Ross (HM Wash, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM NW, HM PSU)
6: Nikhai Hill-Green(HM NIU, #2 Rutgers), Jake Moody (HM Wash, HM Wisc, #3 Neb, HM MSU), DJ Turner (#3 NW, #3 PSU), Andrel Anthony (#2 MSU, HM Maryland)
5: Cornelius Johnson(HM NIU, HM Wisc, #3 IU)
4: AJ Henning (HM WMU, #3 NIU), Roman Wilson (#3 Wisc, HM PSU)
2: Erick All (HM NW, HM MSU), Junior Colson (HM IU, HM PSU), Mike Sainristil (HM WMU, HM Maryland)
1: Andrew Vastardis (HM WMU), Mazi Smith (HM Wash), Gemon Green(HM NIU), Chris Hinton (HM Rutgers),  Taylor Upshaw (HM IU), Michael Barrett (HM Maryland), Matt Torey(HM Maryland)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Edwards gets a linebacker in man coverage on a wheel route and lol nope.

7️⃣7️⃣ yards for No. 7️⃣

Donovan Edwards (@DEdwards__) blows this one open for No. 6 @UMichFootball. pic.twitter.com/MutNBq9m11

— Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) November 20, 2021

Honorable mention: Kick return trick play TD; punt block; INT return TD; various absurd catches; Michigan draws a hold!

​MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

The first half of OSU-MSU.

Honorable mention: Maryland scores a touchdown and a two point conversion to make us all remember the MSU game; McNamara throws two different balls into OL helmets.

[After THE JUMP: Jay Harbaugh for Broyles Award]

OFFENSE

[Sherman]

Well? I mean? I have to admit that my main thought for most of this game was "this isn't going to beat Ohio State." The numbers came out real nice in the end, at least in the passing department, but the game felt like a slog against a pretty bad defense. McNamara hit a couple of his own OL's helmets—continuing a theme—and Haskins was limited to 3.9 YPC. Meanwhile OSU's scored on their first five drives in about half their games this year.

This is downer thinking but that's life these days.

A vivid example of limitations imposed. Michigan checked to a Haskins counter GT—backside tackle and guard both pull—on third and ten, and that looked like a great idea for a hot second as Haskins broke to the second level with an escort and no Maryland players in the vicinity.  Then the backside end hacked Haskins down after a gain of five, because he did not have to respect the idea of a McNamara keeper at all.

3rd and 10.
McNamara changes the play at the line because they have numbers on the left (remember laat week?)

Maryland's DT makes a shoestring tackle dangit. pic.twitter.com/AJr0RMCXoE

— Due# (@JDue51) November 21, 2021

There is a shuffle step there but it's one of those obligatory ones where the guy is clearly leaning one way the whole time. We tend to harp on this, yes. This was a pretty obvious cost to having a pocket QB in 2021.

Targets for this man. Seems like every time Andrel Anthony gets a tough opportunity he makes it count:

They converted the 4th down.

Next play, Andrel Anthony makes the catch of the game.
Or does he

Watch him at the bottom. It's a long developing route: slant, out, and go (???). pic.twitter.com/KFysa3k8s4

— Due# (@JDue51) November 21, 2021

The sheer density of his eyebrow-cocking catches so far in his career bodes well for what's going to happen when he gets some more experience under his belt and is reliable enough in his routes to get buckets of targets. Likely coming next year, unless the addition of Edwards to the rotation means that there's too much depth to give anyone person buckets of targets in a Bell/Anthony/Johnson/Edwards/All/Etc. world.

[Sherman]

Thonk. I'm not saying that JJ McCarthy should be starting or anything, but the two plays in short order where he 1) broke two tackles and busted outside for a 14-yard run and 2) lasered a deep hitch to Cornelius Johnson that arrived with an extremely loud THONK sound kind of make you think he should be starting. To be clear: it's obvious why he isn't. It is also obvious why that graph I posted after the Northwestern game is a thing. McCarthy has massive upside.

Short yardage zone sucks. Repeat as necessary. Michigan got stuffed on third and two in this game when Vastardis left a double to go get a linebacker, leaving yet another situation where an OL is trying to block a guy who lined up inside of him and is slanting away. That never works; did it work here? No.

I think Michigan's diversity here is also hurting. Zone is difficult to execute and needs to be repped incessantly to get it right, especially when teams crowd the line and there are more decisions to make. Michigan has run a lot of gap stuff, a ton of split zone, and recently started incorporating stretch plays. Trying to do all of that can play to your advantage since the opposition has to prep for it and can't just sit on one base play, but it also makes your execution more erratic. That's especially painful on short yardage.

Michigan followed that failure up with a fourth and one conversion where they just doubled both DTs and moved them far enough.

DEFENSE

argh [Sherman]

Grimace dot emoji. Taulia Tagovailoa had one of his worst outings of the year but how much of that was Michigan and how much was Tagovailoa repeatedly airmailing guys? He had back-to-back overthrows of his tight end in the endzone that he badly overthrew and one scramble dumpoff to a guy on the sideline was going to go a long way if the ball wasn't hurled at Tacopants.

Michigan offset this with a number of plays on which Tagovailoa was baffled by what Michigan was running—the Gray sack was the most prominent example. His mobility got him out of some jams, but part of that was…

Big gaps in the front. Maryland did a surprisingly good job against Michigan's terror DEs, who were shut out in the sack category, and Tagovailoa had lots of opportunities to scramble as Michigan DTs continued to get stuck at or near the line of scrimmage. I'm not sure that one seemingly off day from Ojabo/Hutchison bodes unwell for The Game—as mentioned, Hutchinson continues to grade out insanely well at PFF—but if OSU is able to contain them reasonably well it's not likely that someone else picks up the slack. Organic rush from the DTs this year has been approximately nil.

Michigan prioritized shutting 3 down [Sherman]

Light boxes, disappointing ground restriction. Also in this department: for the second straight week Michigan went up against a team with a dead doornail run game that was able to piece together a better-than-average day for them. In both cases Michigan was able to neutralize the most dangerous part of the opposition offense (Jahan Dotson and Rakim Jarrett, respectively) by making that tradeoff and dedicating extra guys to the passing game.

Just like the previous bullet, it feels like Michigan isn't going to be giving up moderately annoying chunks if they continue against OSU, they'll be getting unsustainably gashed.

Bring me this Okonkwo. Maryland doesn't have a lot of dudes on their team this year but I'd take Chigoziem Okonwko any day. Maryland had this one dumb screen for him that they ran five times and even though Michigan was decently prepared for it after the first time my dude ran over Michigan secondary members and powered out chunks of yards. 6'2", 244, athletic, hard to bring down: Michigan is missing a guy like him on this team.

SPECIAL TEAMS

special teams ace [Sherman]

Furious. FEI has not updated for this week yet so I cannot see if Michigan has ascended to the top of the mountain after blocking a Maryland punt and getting a kickoff return touchdown on a throwback. FWIW, Michigan is currently 4th; in 2019 they were 6th; in 2018 23rd; in 2017 23rd. (I'm not counting the COVID season for obvious reasons.) That is a sustained run of excellence at a spot where it's very hard to maintain because there are so many high-impact, low-incidence things.

The punt block. Michigan blitzes off the corner, Maryland protector takes that guy instead of a guy with a more direct line to the punter, and the above occurs.

Senior walk on WR Matt Torey from Sterling Heights MI makes a tremendous play on this punt block.
-Lays out
-blocks the punt
-never touches the punter

Way to go, kid. pic.twitter.com/RWucPswHiA

— Due# (@JDue51) November 21, 2021

One wonders if that was something that was on film or Michigan just getting lucky; strong possibility that Sainristil would have gotten to the punter if the protector had chosen differently.

no red detected [Sherman]

The throwback touchdown. Michigan twitter erupted with "save that for Ohio State" after Michael Barrett tossed it to AJ Henning, but Ohio State isn't regularly pooching the ball to the right side of the field at about the 20, so Michigan can't do that next week. The correct way to moan about the throwback touchdown is to say something like "this shows we were preparing for Maryland instead of Ohio State."

MISCELLANEOUS

The uniquely unsatisfying experience. We mentioned this on the podcast in reference to SP+ but it's actually more generalizable:

I can see it now:

*Michigan, a top-5 team in every predictive model, loses to OSU as all of them predict and finishes regular season ranked in top 10*

The usual national media figures: Wow another choke job from overrated Harbaugh. Embarrassing Michigan hasn't arrested him yet.

— Zach Shaw (@_ZachShaw) November 22, 2021

Pretty much. If this wasn't the playoff oligopoly era Michigan's level of performance would be pretty rewarding, because Ohio State wouldn't be one of the four chosen teams that everyone flocks to and they'd be less of a mountain to scale. But it is, and therefore Michigan can be a top five football team in any predictive model you care to point at and the attitude going into the final game of the season is "let's get this over with."

At least… Rose Bowl? Is it really much of a consolation prize to go to the Rose Bowl after losing to Ohio State? I guess yes, it is, especially if we're bumping MSU out of the slot. Just got to be more competitive than MSU, which even this Eeyore projects to be happen.

HERE

Best and Worst:

I don’t need to rehash how people expected the season to play out; most prognostications had UM finishing around 7-5/8-4, and this here site figured 8-4 with a strong chance of underperforming.  And honestly, even the most optimistic amongst us (and I consider myself in that group) figured 10 wins was unlikely, possible only if  a Brady Hoke-level amount of good luck happened on both sides of the ball.  Few expected the stakes of The Game to be more than “how Not In the Face can it be?”, and yet here Michigan stands, 60 minutes from a shot at the Big 10 title against…someone from the West who features an offense best described as “trying”.  Now obviously there’s 3200 feet of Buckeye they’ll have to summit during those 60 minutes, and this week will be all about analyzing again and again the level of insurmountability of that quest.  But the only reason UM is in this position is because they accomplished most of their goals over these past few months.  They won all but one game and showed a maturity and confidence as a team, even when struggling, that we haven’t seen out of every Harbaugh team in recent memory.

The State of our Open Threads:

We only gave 78 fucks yesterday, down sharply from the 285 given during the rather stressful Penn State game. That is, in fact, now the second-lowest number of fucks given in the conference season to date, and given who the next opponent is, it shall likely remain that way for 2021. The fewest fucks were given during the Indiana game, and the fewest overall in the season were the mere 18 given during the Northern Illinois game. Considering that the season average as of now is 176 fucks per game, it was certainly a very quiet, orderly thread as game threads go around here.