Was this the Apex Sparty No! Weekend In Memory

Submitted by Bo Harbaugh on October 22nd, 2023 at 3:48 PM

Such a confluence of stories and circumstances.  I'm no historian but this week/weekend of Lil Bro felt especially epic.

Here's my list and how it all gloriously came together to create the ultimate Sparty No! experience

1) Your $100mm coach jerked off to a sexual assault prevention advocate and university vendor (of all people) to shame your program. The ultimate lil' bro hire  (backup the truck for 2 wins against UM despite a career .500 record) and all the Tuck "cummin" idiocy - and the coach actually fumbles the biggest bag in history for 1 ejaculation.  Couldn't write a screenplay more absurd and less believable than how this played out for Sparty. This is the cloud hanging over the program all year. 

2) "MIchIGan CheATs" - Gifted the "sign stealing" story the week of the rivalry game in East Lansing, MSU seemingly pushes the story further into the media - what could have been whispers, blew up into a national story - giving Sparty fans momentary joy, schadenfreude,  excuses, and false equivalencies (Tunnel assault).  They proceed to have the QB run to the sideline for signals and then get nuked 49-0, where the UM starters play just 2.5 quarters.  Smart move pushing the unsubstantiated story Sparty...well played as now the donut can only be attributed to your incompetence.

3) BuT UrBan MEyer! - Another pathetic hopium situation of temporary respite for lil bro.  As if Meyer would want to take over the Moo U job when Texas A&M and other non mid regional jobs would be available to him.  All week the delusion was circling, hitting its climax (no pun intended) as game day approached. More hilarious, actually believing only MSU has Ishbia types and mega donors, but sure, other universities, like oil rich A&M (that isn't as mid) can't find the $ to pay the guy.  All this, (thinking of hiring one of the biggest known cheaters and scumbags in CFB history) while trying to moralize and cry foul about the unsubstantiated allegations against UM.

4) Hitler!  You should never do anything Hitler - almost always goes poorly.  But to have that trivia question pop up and a giant Hitler image on your scoreboard and giant screen during a nationally televised broadcast? - Spartans Will!  Moronic athletic dept. to not limit the trivia to just sports or look at the questions ahead of time. And below the Hitler image... An add reading "We Never drop the ball".  Seriously, are we living in a Sparty No! simulation? Seriously, no joke....of all weeks and all things - rivalry week against UM and a giant Hitler on their jumbo tron.

5) Finally, the obvious, exposed in prime time on national TV as dirty with multiple cheap shot after claiming worry for their players safety after "HarBauGH CheaTS". Again, the entire nation gets to see what a trash program Sparty is, in their Super Bowl, as another MSU player gives the double bird to their home crowd as they get nuked 49-0.

Feel free to add, detract, discuss.....

 

 

Amazinblu

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:30 PM ^

EPIC - a game that clarified the teams and their respective institutions.  Very enjoyable to watch.   I wish Donovan was set prior to the snap at the end of the first half - and, was “more than half wondering” whether Harbaugh would go for two.

kehnonymous

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:30 PM ^

The only thing that could've made this season worse for Sparty is if Mel Tucker had jerked off to Hitler, and at this point that may not entirely be off the table.

S.G. Rice

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:31 PM ^

In just football terms, I would say not.  The game that caused Valenti to absolutely lose his mind on air (Notre Dame 2006) was the ultimate Sparty No! game.

Doesn't take away from this week's and this years' most excellent Spartyfreude.

Evashevski

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:39 PM ^

Does anyone remember smug Spartanwire writer Crowley Sullivan from Big Ten Media 2018? At the time Michigan was 1-5 against OSU and MSU after 3 seasons. His questioning of Harbaugh at the time, epitomized the Dantonio sparty cockiness. 

turtleboy

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:55 PM ^

I honestly hope so. Growing up with the rivalry, I remember it before it was deliberately turned into peak toxicity. I sincerely hope a sustained lull will result in the hatred, derangement, and poor sportsmanship that we've witnessed over the last decade+ regressing more than a little.

BlueTuesday

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:55 PM ^

Thank you for this post, I loved it. I’m literally sitting here giggling and laughing at their nearly impossible to believe circumstances.
I mean, nobody can be this dumb, right? Wrong. Somehow Sparty pulled it off.

mooseman

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:55 PM ^

Can you imagine if Harbaugh would have elected to go for to at the end just to hand 50 on 'em?

Obviously, if that sort of thing were the plan he could have made it so much uglier, much earlier.

Wolverine 73

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:59 PM ^

I saw a picture of the Hitler question/scoreboard on the blog yesterday, and figured it was photoshopped for some weird humor thing.  Unbelievable that it actually happened.

rainking

October 22nd, 2023 at 5:59 PM ^

I was surprised how inept MSU looked. I sort of thought they'd give UM a game for a quarter or so before fading but Jesus, no, they looked awful from the first kick off. 

mgoblue78

October 22nd, 2023 at 6:05 PM ^

I figure the Sparty faithful will only abandon their delusional fixation on Urban Meyer until after Bill Belichick gets fired and they decide he's the Moses to lead them out of the wilderness to the promised land.

turtleboy

October 22nd, 2023 at 6:53 PM ^

Looking at the numbers below average teams do seem to have no trouble putting up 300+ yards on Georgia this season. They face some potent offenses in Florida, Missouri, the fighting Lane Kiffins, and at Tennessee. It will be interesting to see how close those get.

tybert

October 22nd, 2023 at 6:54 PM ^

Well, GREAT NEWS.

MSU BoT just issued a statement showing their "outrage" at the Hitler trivia board and then says: "MSU personnel must be accountable and held responsible for this disgusting display"

How about everyone but Bynum (the 1 person I do respect) resign and have The GOV replace them with 7 honest people. 

tybert

October 22nd, 2023 at 7:03 PM ^

Even for MSU, three 15-yard fouls to allow a drive to to their 11 for a one-play drive (TD pass to Barner) that allowed us to enter Tuttle Time was priceless. 

This program sold its sold to the devil when they let Mork transform them into the Evil Empire. They had a nice 8-year run (actually 2 of those eight were 6 or 7 loss seasons). 2013-15 = 36 wins will NEVER happen again for them as PSU, UM, Ohio, USC, UCLA, Oregon, Wash will mean 9 wins (one of those a bowl win) is a high mark for decades to come. 

Like many have mentioned before, if they had dominated us and displayed the classy respect for the rivalry that Tressel did for us when we crapped out, the schadenfreude wouldn't be so tasty. 

WampaStompa

October 22nd, 2023 at 7:33 PM ^

The picture of the MSU scoreboard showing a massive picture of Hitler with the caption "We never drop the ball!" under it while MSU gets destroyed 49-0 really was a piece of art that should be hung up in the MGoLouvre. 

Does anyone else here ever stop and think about the fact that we are witnessing - in real time -  legendary moments in Michigan football history that will be remembered forever? 

100 years from now the owner of MgoBlorg, Zorpatron Denard Robinson "JJ McCarthy" Cook, will post a UFR where he says "do you guys remember back in the days before laser teleportation was invented and before running the football was outlawed when Jim Harbaugh nuked East Lansing and Ohio State fired their coach because he kept losing to Michigan despite a 99% win percentage in all their other games? Check out this picture of Mike Sainristil batting away a pass that signaled the turning point in the 100 year war"

OneEyedMooseSm…

October 22nd, 2023 at 7:45 PM ^

I think so. Its going to be hard for them to top the last two months, but I sincerely hope they try.  I did not have "Coach fired for stroking off on the phone to the No Mean No lady" and "Ol' Number 88 Trivia Night" on my bingo card.

KSmooth

October 22nd, 2023 at 8:15 PM ^

Somebody really needs to knock some sense into that whole program.  D'Antonio might have been a bastard who lived on rage and jealousy, but he at least knew how to channel it into beating an opponent.  Now all they do is take cheap shots, commit assault, and flip off everybody while losing.  They need someone to step in and get things under control, and that starts by playing clean and dialing the rage down to a level that allows them to focus on winning some football games.

tybert

October 22nd, 2023 at 11:09 PM ^

I missed the point about the MSU player flipping off someone when he left the field or went to the sideline.

Any context???? Flipping off UM fans at the tunnel after the game??? Flipping off MSU fans mocking him for another outhouse performance???

 

BlueinLansing

October 23rd, 2023 at 12:52 AM ^

This actually felt like the glorious death of the Dantonio era.  Put it all together, all his stupid cheap shots over the years.  He was retired, done.  Yet enthusiastically returned to help out Harlon Barnett, made sure to state publicly he would only advise and wouldn't be on the sideline.  And yet there he was yesterday, right on the sideline, headphones on trolling the sidelines.

You can bet nearly everything that happened this week had Dantonio's hands all over it.  EVERYTHING!!!    It failed, so gloriously.  I even guarantee he had a hand in the gameplan and strategy. They even said it publicly "Dantonio secret to success against Michigan", players were saying to the press they were going to win.   This was Mark's one last chance to get back at Jim, who so clearly has changed the tide in the State of Michigan and sucked all the attention away from his programs rise. 

That one was for you Mark.

 

I will forever be mad at Jim Harbaugh for not grabbing that NBC microphone looking square in the camera and saying "where'd all the Spartans go"  drop that mic and walk away.   Its over Mark go enjoy South Carolina.