Randy Edsall's additional thoughts on Hollywood

Randy Edsall’s additional thoughts on Hollywood

I was digging through some Randy Edsall interviews and found some great quotes about different Hollywood films beyond just his recent Forrest Gump take.  By all means, add your own if you find any I missed.

Glengarry Glen Ross: “Alec Baldwin said ‘Coffee is for closers.’  But closers are in baseball.  I’m a football coach, so I say ‘coffee is for kickers.’  Seems like the closest thing.”

The Jerk: “Some really good lessons in that movie, you know?  Like having a special purpose.  On a football team, I believe every player and coach has his own special purpose.  Could be running the ball, could be playing defense, special teams—could be just backing up the guy who holds the ball on extra points.  Everyone’s got their special purpose.  So that’s why I show that movie to my team every fall, and am sure to tell them, ‘know what your special purpose is for.’”

American Beauty: “It was okay.  But if I was Kevin Spacey, I totally would have done it with Mena Suvari.”

Point Break: “Totally unrealistic.  Reagan had his faults, but bank robbery?  Come on.  Bhody is a bad-ass, though.  Vaya con dios, braugh.”

The Matrix: “It’s like I always tell my players: ‘Football isn’t like The Matrix out there.  Football is real life, except it isn’t.  But metaphorically it is.  I think.’  That always gets them fired up.”

The Lion King: “It was really The Lion King that helped me understand Big Ten football.  I mean, I’m not really a ‘jungle’ type of guy.  So imagine my surprise when we go up to Penn State that first time and, like, everybody on their team could talk.  I was all, ‘wait—I thought you were supposed to be lions?  Lions can’t talk.’  We weren’t prepared for that.”

The Godfather: “People always wondered how we got Stefon Diggs to sign.  Well, I just tell them I went there with my, uh, 'recruiting coordinator' and ‘made an offer he couldn’t refuse.’”

Breakfast at Tiffany’s: “Yeah, haven’t actually seen that one.  Love the song though, Deep Blue Something?  Good stuff.”

Fight Club: “That’s another good one.  The day after I first watched it, I made a new rule for my team: ‘The first rule of Maryland Football is, you do not talk about Maryland Football.’  It has kind of made game preparation difficult, you know, since we’ll be in meetings and so forth and we can’t actually talk about our own team.  But that’s when you learn some really interesting things about the guys.  Like, did you know our backup tight end raises ferrets?”

The Karate Kid: “Those Cobra Kai uniforms were pretty sweet.  That’s why every year I’ve been able to get our athletic department to put just a little bit more of that Cobra Kai effect into our own football uniforms.  Probably by around 2020 or 2025, that’s when you’ll see Maryland with the full Cobra Kai helmet and jersey.  We’re kind of like orange-belts right now.”

The Empire Strikes Back: “Yeah, I think Episode V is a really good message for the kids on our team.  You know, in Episode IV the Rebels blew up the Death Star and thought they were all hot shit.  But then Darth Vader comes and blasts the fuck out of them in the next film.  So like us, you know, we managed to beat Michigan last season.  Well, now they’re coming to our building, and probably gonna freeze us all in carbonite.  If we’re lucky we just get our hands cut off and fall into a bottomless abyss.  Hey—did I actually get one right?”