The Purge

Submitted by Blue@LSU on August 26th, 2022 at 5:50 PM

This is not simply a negbang. This is THE PURGE. A bloodletting. A colon blow. A board-wide exorcism of all the negativity before the season starts. There is tooo much shit posting in the game threads and I thought this would be a good time to get all the negativity out before the season starts.

The Rules of THE PURGE 

There is no positivity allowed in this thread. Any positive comments shall be negged...with extreme prejudice. 

The use of weapons above class 4 is forbidden, i.e. normal board rules apply: do not attack individual players, no politics... (Violation of any these rules will result in... well, I'm not really sure. But it'll probably be pretty stiff.) 

Police, fire, emergency medical services, and moms will be unavailable until 7am when THE PURGE concludes (or until the mods put me and this thread on a one-way flight to Bolivia).


Don't feel like being negative? Here's some motivation: Imagine that we're not only being outhit but also outscored by Scott Frost. Or imagine Bret Bielema doing the truffle shuffle on the 50-yard line after beating Michigan.   

Need some ideas of what to post? Here are some of my personal favorites from the past:

  • The year is 2199. COVID-99 has wiped out half the population. Michigan football is still running the ball up the middle. (MSU 2020)
  • This is a .500 team the rest of the season (Rutgers 2021)
  • The complete breakdown of fucking turtling and letting teams back in is fucking disgusting. No way should UM have ever lost this game, but here we are (Nebraska 2021)
  • UNACCEPTABLE! (every game, 1879-present)

So have at it. Give me the snowflakiest of the snowflakes that you can muster from the depths of your joyless, empty, hatin'-ass souls.  

Or just neg me for starting such a dumb-ass thread. I'll take it for the good of the community.

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DairyQueen

August 26th, 2022 at 10:17 PM ^

one of my favorite anecdotes is how during the civil rights demonstrations some groups practiced "letting it all out" and "venting" right before big marches with the hopes that they could "empty out" all their anger/reactivity so they would be less reactive and easily provoked during upcoming demonstrations/marches, and they found that actually this made things much worse and demonstrators from those specific groups did a much worse job remaining peaceful, cool-headed on-task, etc., even those people who had been noted previously before for having been the most cool-headed/role-models in the group in the previous demonstrations, this happened so much so that MLk and other leaders quickly quashed this practice, citing it as one of the most destructive and divisive practices to the greater cause.

Interestingly enough there's also a lot of similar instances amongst the whole west-coast hippy/experimental living communities of the 60//70s where they also tried these exercises (people were into some pretty insane stuff in that milieu so this seemed absolutely innocuous by comparison), and they found the exact same results, total discord, disharmony, and even the full disbanding of some communities/groups after these exercises (yes yes correlation, but weight of evidence in situ is absolutely valid as well), even moreso there were some "guru's" that literally traveled around implementing these methods believing in them despite all evidence to the contrary lol

and interestingly enough there's some more recent modern neuro/interventional experimental studies seemingly corroborating these hippy/civil rights case reports

Joined: 04/20/2014

MGoPoints: 6642

Michigan Arrogance

August 26th, 2022 at 6:03 PM ^

We’re not gonna be good on D and Scott frosts moms sons team is gonna out hit us. 
 

tuck will, indeed, be “commin’”

we probably finish 9-3 and dub this the “year of infinite pain 2”

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 35515

maineandblue

August 26th, 2022 at 6:05 PM ^

Still a little annoyed at Brian and about half the fanbase who basically gave up on Harbaugh, Cade, and the team after a weird and disappointing 2020 season and thought we had no chance in 2021. Gonna try to purge that out of my system here and enjoy the shared general optimism for the coming season!

Joined: 06/30/2008

MGoPoints: 3085

Kharper3

August 26th, 2022 at 6:07 PM ^

If Michigan loses to MooU again this year, I will completely lose my shit and get kicked out of Michigan Stadium for untold violations! Their entire fan base needs to rot in the gutter for a decade. F them. 
 

negative enough?

Joined: 11/08/2014

MGoPoints: 764

rob f

August 26th, 2022 at 6:10 PM ^

Do I get to create the post-purge snowflake threads once this thread dies a slow painful death well before 7am?

Asking for a mom.

Joined: 11/11/2010

MGoPoints: 194824

XM - Mt 1822

August 26th, 2022 at 6:16 PM ^

You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny

i wish harbaugh had joined the vikes

joe Milton is a better QB than cyan-Cade or JJ

B10 refs are the best and Sparty is better than us at everything, even spelling

(am I doing this right?)

Joined: 12/21/2011

MGoPoints: 103389

Chadillac Grillz

August 26th, 2022 at 6:23 PM ^

Purge the negativity Well here we go .

Colorado f****** state really ends up being 28 to 17. We start out 4-0... But does it matter? S*** no, because when we play Iowa Cade McNamara can't hit the broadside of a barn and we can't run the damn ball. Turns out! JJ McCarthy can't hit the f****** broad side of a barn either! The s*** of it is Cade ain't much better and JJ ain't ready and he has to be cuz Cade f****** McNamara breaks his f****** shoulder on one of those stupid ass flea flickers at Indiana. There's no Hassan Haskins on this team. They're never has been. Maybe even last year it was a dream . Donovan Edwards is a great receiver but it doesn't matter because nobody can hit the broadside of a barn. Penn State beats the hell out of us. Tuck coming!. And it's five and three after eight games. We beat Rutgers but it's like 20 to 13. Like last year we squeaked by Nebraska. And Illinois. We get beat by Ohio State 60 to 20 cuz there's not one single damn guy who's even close to Aidan Hutchinson or David ojabo. We're eight and four with a mediocre defense. A hobbled. Blake, Corum and quarterback is all like better luck next year and it's still a competition in the spring. We're eight and five after forfeiting the bowl game did I mention there's no Hassan Haskins on this team. There was that good enough? 

 

By the way, neg away cuz this team is going to rock!

Joined: 01/04/2010

MGoPoints: 2740

Denard In Space

August 26th, 2022 at 6:33 PM ^

This thread is as clever as when my 5 month old kitten walks on the headboard of my bed and tries to swipe at me playfully, only to fall and get stuck behind the bed. More specifically, it's embarrassing and pathetic, but unlike my kitten, neither forgivable nor cute. In fact this whole thing is loathsome, as is every poster on the board, and all residents of Michigan. It's like everyone is competing to be say the least meaningful thing possible. Typing blindfolded while drugged on rohypnol and a gallon of robotussin would lead to a better thread. Log off, but don't even think about what you've done. Don't bother. Don't try to make yourself better, it's just not possible. Just sit in a room quietly and don't bother anyone ever again.  

Also let's body shame Jim Harbaugh.  Look at this bizarrely misshapen oaf: 

Joined: 05/24/2018

MGoPoints: 13469