OT:Favorite Insult
Obviously don't post any racist bullshit.
I was texting my wife earlier and I called her a butt munch and it was so satisfying. Also been digging bozo and jabroni lately thanks to its always sunny in Philadelphia.
So mgo, what's your favorite harmless insult?
Fuck you, you fucking fuck
Maybe I missed it but I didn't see cooler pooper mentioned
Chinless tosser
A personal favorite from Breaking Bad:
"Saul, your commercials look like they're run and filmed by an epileptic whore house. Oh really? The one your mom still works at? Remind me, is she still offering the two for one special?"
And then anything that ever came out of Biff Tannen's mouth.
Ya half a meatball!
Or....
Go find some offs and fuck 'em.
Dad used to say this one about joggers:
”You can run off fat, but ya cant run off ugly.”
If Benjamin was an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick,
The following was blocked by the studio from the yo mama scene in White Men Can't Jump
Yo mama so nasty she puts ice down her pants to keep her crabs fresh
Yo mama's house so small, she can cook dinner, answer the front door, and take a poop all at the same time.
Heard Ramsey call someone a donut before. Wife still can't stop laughing about it.
My Dad had a shirt just like that. Then he got a job.
Saying, “I’ll be right back, I gotta go take a monster [insert name of who you’re talking to here]” or the like. Fun way to leave a lame conversation with my brothers or whomever
Mouthbreather.
Bucktard
Cocksucking motherfucking hogfaced pigbutt two balled bitch
Dickhole
Rube
"So, did you undergo some kind of specialized training to be such an a-hole, or does it just come to you naturally?"
Dick Gazinia
Tootie McStinkbutt was a favorite of mine when my kids were little. Or yesterday.
Harmless, eh? Dipstick, because it only has one purpose, and that purpose is brainless and can be done by just about anything.
I often remind my wife that 'women should be seen and not heard', or variations on that theme. Word of warning about that, though - do not use it randomly, at work, or in otherwise public places. And probably not in front of impressionable children, either (like my 10 yr old son).
My favorite is Jack Wagon
That was my favorite line during the whole "Will we or won't we play" stuff last summer. God bless you Randy Wade.
No Talent Ass Clown!
from Office Space I believe.
knoblicker
jag monkey
Dick weevil
Brain donor
You punch like Woody Hayes.
I typically like anything with "douche" as the first syllable. My favorite line was Patton Oswalt in Burn Notice, when he told a guy, "I hope you get eye cancer."
There's two spaces after a colon - #Dingus
Thieving cockroach whore
My buddy and I are shooting 3D one day. I'm keeping score, so he pulls arrows and having shanked on a bit, his arrow squeaks loudly every inch of the way out of the foam, to which I say, 'sounded like me pulling out of your wife last night.' Yeah, he's still dousing those flames, and laughing out loud! 20 years later that one still comes up from time to time.
Another favorite is on the golf course. I outdrove my buddy by a good margin. As we approach his ball and I can tell he is calculating the distance between our shots, I casually say, ya hear there's a new Super WalMart going up?' He replies, 'no, where?' right between our tee shots.....
Yo' Mama.
Otto's rant from "A Fish Called Wanda": You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, f***-face, dickhead, asshole!"
My favorite, though vulgar as it is:
”You’re a fat load…that your mother should have swallowed!”
As a kid who grew up in poverty, I always enjoyed telling rich kids they were born on 3rd but thought they hit a triple
Do you know Bill? Bill said you smell. But I stood up for you, ya know.
I said, "Like crap he does!"
fuck off.
An old one from my grandparents' generation: (just to clarify, born at the turn of the Century...turn of the 19th to 20th for you whippersnappers.)
Hunyock
Asshat.