OT: The hilarious Joe Burrow Tiny Hands drama
I am getting a huge kick out of these multiple sports page articles about "Joe Burrow's tiny hands". Here is one from ESPN sort of lampooning the topic itself:
Joe's tweet was awesome: "Considering retirement after I was informed the football will be slipping out of my tiny hands. Please keep me in your thoughts." Good sense of humor and a terrific player.
Burrow's hands measured 9 inches from tip of thumb to tip of pinkie. The article above even uses "miniscule" to describe this measurement. Just stretch your hand across a tape measure to get your own measurement.
I feel the need to relate all this to ordinary non-athlete people. I'll relate it to me.
About the only thing Joe Burrow and I share is size. He lists as 6'4" and 216 lbs. I too claim 6'4" , and 20 years ago was about Joe's weight. Being a big, sturdy guy myself, I found these dimensions to be very useful in my own athletic pursuits. The NFL is different, of course, but a big dude is a big dude. I have told the story on here before of being mistaken for Drew Henson in a Manhattan bar. While there is a slight resemblance, when the guy was apologizing he insisted it was my size that had him fooled.
MGoFolks, my hands are ENORMOUS. I actively wish they were smaller, as certain dainty tasks are virtually impossible. Some every day examples:
- I have been able to palm a basketball since I was 15, before my body reached this size. I could still easily do it today if I tried. Either hand.
- Gloves - anything smaller than an XL is hopeless. Many XLs are still too tight to wear.
- Before golf glove technology improved the last 5-10 years (more elastic) I would regularly blow out XL golf gloves. They would rip across the palm, a half dozen or so per season.
- If anyone out there does kettle bell workouts - I can't fit both hands inside the handle. I have to hang my pinkies out, or overlap some fingers. The trainers at the gym think its the weirdest thing. They just don't fit.
- I had to make hospital visits to a family member in a "gown and glove" ICU environment. We ended up getting the okay to buy and bring my own box because I kept blowing out the ones provided.
I've never had a reason to measure my hands, until these ridiculous articles came out. Dying of curiosity, I went downstairs for the tape measure after dropping my kids at school this morning.
9 and one quarter inches from tip of thumb to tip of pinkie. My enormous hands have 1/4 inch on Joey Burrow's tiny miniscule hands. 1/4 inch. Apparently this puts me on par with Pat Mahomes who's hands were also considered small. I guarantee Burrow can palm a basketball.
Joe Burrow has enormous hands that won't be a factor in his NFL career. And sportswriters are ridiculous. Apparently scouts too. Enjoy your day.
February 26th, 2020 at 4:43 PM ^
The great thing is everybody went to measuring their hands.
9 3/4, and I'm only 6'2"
February 26th, 2020 at 10:50 AM ^
Wonder what Tate's hand size was. He seemed to have small hands and coughed the ball up alot.
February 26th, 2020 at 10:52 AM ^
6’4”...215...9.5” hands, should have stuck with football ?
February 26th, 2020 at 12:25 PM ^
It might not be too late! You should just show up at the combine and start waving to everybody with your hands the size of manhole covers.
February 26th, 2020 at 10:53 AM ^
The NFL football is bigger and he will be playing in a cold and rainy city.We will see if size matters
PS: Joe Burrow will not have success in the NFL,he will not have 10 seconds to scramble and make a play.Last season he had the longest "in the pocket" time in DI according to Sports reference.com He was always running around trying to make a play.
February 26th, 2020 at 11:05 AM ^
<redacted>
February 26th, 2020 at 11:16 AM ^
It's possible your hands just aren't as large as you think.
Or your problems come mainly from hand/finger thickness, not length.
Or the NFL has a method of measuring that is a little bit generous.
If you look at the measurements here you can see there are multiple guys shorter than you with 10"+ hands. (Also note the disrespect with the spelling of Lewerke's name)
At just shy of 6'1", Shea has 9-3/8" hands, and they never looked particularly large:
February 26th, 2020 at 2:04 PM ^
First time I’ve since a fraction of 4/8 not reduced down since elementary math class.
February 26th, 2020 at 11:01 PM ^
Fits right in with the combine.
Those guys would be trying to figure out which race car is fastest not by looking at lap times, but by looking at how crisp is the lettering on the tires.
February 26th, 2020 at 11:53 AM ^
Wonder what baseball scouts would have said about Jim Abbott's hand size. Sometimes these things matter. Sometimes they really don't. If Joe Burrow doesn't work out in the NFL something tells me it won't have to do with his hand size.
February 26th, 2020 at 12:09 PM ^
This was also a knock against Dan Marino. Seemed to work out OK for him.
February 26th, 2020 at 12:12 PM ^
The combine process is hilariously stupid. Unsurprisingly, it has even been statistically proven to be nonpredictive. It is the Dilbert boss method of evaluating football players.
February 26th, 2020 at 12:28 PM ^
I am a hair short of 5 foot 10 inches tall. My hands from tip to tip are exactly 9 and 1/4 inches.
Playing jazz guitar for 30 years gives my hands an extra stretch....but I never considered my hands to be "huge" by any measure.
Other extremities yes, hands no...
I do find it odd that a 6-4 NFL QB prospect has the same size hands as mine.
February 26th, 2020 at 12:48 PM ^
But are they "jazz hands"??
February 26th, 2020 at 1:02 PM ^
Interesting and funny about Joe's hands. Anyone who thinks his hands are not worthy of an elite QB is kidding himself. Glad people are joking about it, including him.
I do recall reading an interesting story of a former Michigan QB who was trying to STRETCH his hands to become a better player in the NFL. I'm talking like many decades ago, when the NFL ball was significantly larger than the college ball. He would look for larger handrails in stairways, and wrap his hands around them and walk the stairs.
He's in the HoF now. He was considered the first "all time passing leader" but they didn't keep the passing stats back then. Name escapes me, but I thought it was relevant to the topic. I'll try to find it...
February 26th, 2020 at 1:27 PM ^
The Michigan QB I was thinking of was Benny Friedman.
Was a revolutionary QB at the time, as the NFL was struggling and the forward pass was just starting to he used more frequently. Many people claim he saved the NFL in the 20's and 30's.
Interesting note: the Detroit franchise in that time named themselves the Wolverines as an effort to get him to sign with them. Also, Tim Mara wanted Friedman so badly to play for the NY Giants that he bought the entire Detroit Wolverines team. He even considered renaming the Giants to the Wolverines also, but I think wisely left the name alone.
Anyway, Friedman focused on his hand strength. Interesting article about it here. Still looking for the one about trying to make his hands larger.
https://www.functionalhandstrength.com/benny-friedmans-hands/
https://www.functionalhandstrength.com/benny-friedmans-hands/
February 26th, 2020 at 1:27 PM ^
The Michigan QB I was thinking of was Benny Friedman.
Was a revolutionary QB at the time, as the NFL was struggling and the forward pass was just starting to he used more frequently. Many people claim he saved the NFL in the 20's and 30's.
Interesting note: the Detroit franchise in that time named themselves the Wolverines as an effort to get him to sign with them. Also, Tim Mara wanted Friedman so badly to play for the NY Giants that he bought the entire Detroit Wolverines team. He even considered renaming the Giants to the Wolverines also, but I think wisely left the name alone.
Anyway, Friedman focused on his hand strength. Interesting article about it here. Still looking for the one about trying to make his hands larger.
https://www.functionalhandstrength.com/benny-friedmans-hands/
https://www.functionalhandstrength.com/benny-friedmans-hands/
February 26th, 2020 at 3:52 PM ^
Thanks for posting this. Just researched Benny Friedman. He was the NFL's all time TD passing leader when he retired in the early 30s. The record stood until Otto Graham broke it 15 years later. Benny unfortunately committed suicide in his late 70s when his health faded badly.
You inspired me to search YouTube. Here are some great clips of Benny Friedman and Michigan football in the 1920s. The internet is amazing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyoj-tUsT2o - Showing his younger HS brother Jerry how to throw the ball. Benny is very muscular. His younger brother has obvious small hands lol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Pptnviw2eY - Yost
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2iwtehikFA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKR0JoN2v88
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUgHrtrugwM - Michigan vs Iowa 1923 - L
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaPIbO-6XGo - Michigan vs. Minn 1927 another L
The players looked much older back in those days. Must not have used facial moisturizer.
Sorry I cant embed
February 26th, 2020 at 11:48 PM ^
They all had Greg Oden disease.
February 26th, 2020 at 1:12 PM ^
FWIW, Phil Jackson thinks that MJ's hand size is what put him over the top, and separated him from all of the other super-athletes who have played in the NBA.
"Listed at 6’6″ Jordan’s hand length is 9.75 inches while his hand span is 11.37 inches. Jordan’s hand length would be normal for someone who is around 7’9″, and to put things into perspective a bit, this is significantly longer than Bol Bol’s who is listed at 7’2″. The average hand length for someone Jordan’s size is about 8.7 inches.
It’s unbelievable that for example Wilt Chamberlain who was listed at 7’1″ had shorter hands than Jordan, despite the fact he was over seven inches taller. There are also other centers in today’s NBA who have relatively small hands compared to Jordan.
When it comes to Jordan’s hand span it’s a lot wider than the average for someone his height, and which is around 9.4 inches. His hand span would be normal for someone listed at an astonishing 8’0″. For example, Steven Adams who is around 7’0″ has a 3.4% smaller span than Jordan while Rudy Gobert who is listed around 7’1″ span is over . 13% narrower than Jordan’s despite the massive height advantage.
Phil Jackson who coached Michael for years said his hands were one of his biggest advantages compared to most players guarding him. Jackson often compared Jordan’s hands to gloves since he was able to easily pick up the ball and do with it whatever comes to his mind."
February 26th, 2020 at 6:52 PM ^
So Mars Blackmon was wrong? It didn't got to be the shoes?
February 26th, 2020 at 1:37 PM ^
My hands are so big they make my dick look tiny. That's the reason for that.
February 26th, 2020 at 1:57 PM ^
“But what’s his girth measurement?”
February 26th, 2020 at 4:50 PM ^
Check out the mitts on Jimi:
February 26th, 2020 at 6:03 PM ^
Why do you care so much about Joe Burrows hands?
February 26th, 2020 at 6:53 PM ^
Have you ever asked yourself why you don't?
February 26th, 2020 at 6:33 PM ^
I can only imagine the inflated sense of importance that the person charged with measuring the hands of participants in the scouting combine must feel...
February 26th, 2020 at 8:07 PM ^
They measure from the pubic bone to the tip, correct? Oops, wrong thread.
February 26th, 2020 at 9:18 PM ^
Your hands are not enormous if they measure 9.25". I am 5'11" and my hands measure almost 10". I have longish fingers, but wouldn't say my hands are enormous or that I have any difficulty buying gloves.
February 26th, 2020 at 10:41 PM ^
I remember that CWeb had a pair of meat hooks on him and people said that's the reason that he sucked shooting free throws.
February 27th, 2020 at 2:23 AM ^
I measured mine yesterday afternoon exactly how you did in your photo. I'm 6'0", my left hand measured 9 5/8 while my right hand was a full 1/2 inch shorter at 9 1/8".
Initially I attributed it to my crooked right pinkie that I fractured in a couple places playing ball some 35 years ago, but then I also noticed that my middle and 4th finger are each about 1/4" shorter on my right hand compared to my left, even after stretching.
No problem fitting in size L gloves, though.