Mick McCabe Article on Parents and Sports Today-Excellent Read
After coaching high school football for 26 years, I agree 100% with this article from the Detroit Free Press. This is especially true about the "stars" awarded and the state of recruiting today. Excellent read.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:10 AM ^
Couldnt agree more with the article. Seemingly every parent believes their precious young prodigy is the next (fill in the current mega star of any sport) and only poor coaching is preventing them from reaching their greatness. Candidly this same bullshit is happening in academia where every child is a genius and everybody needs to get an A on everything they do because their work is always so wonderful and perfect.
The sad thing is this bullshit has been going on for a while now. I know if was definitely in place in the early to mid 90's when I was coaching and it's only gotten worse. And then the generation who created the mess - every child is an athletic prodigy or genius or both - blames the kids they did it to when the kids grow up feeling entitled about life in general.
You know what? Every child is NOT great in the sport of their choosing and every child is NOT a genius. Some are uncoordinated, overweight, slow, etc and that's ok. And some kids are less bright than others, work less at their studies and dont care as much about their grades and that's ok too.
It's not the coaches and it's not the teachers fault little Johnny is not getting a full ride to Alabama in football or a full ride to Harvard to study nuclear fission. Sorry mom and dad - not everyone is gifted.
In the words of the late, great Ted Knight "the world needs ditch-diggers too."
August 26th, 2019 at 11:13 AM ^
I love how I have to hear my friends drone on about their genius children.....and then they end up attending a directional school on their own dime. Some genius eh?
August 26th, 2019 at 6:55 PM ^
Negged on the directional school on their own dime. Some of us quote millennials unquote knew what they good afford both before, during, and after college which colored which school we (eventually) attended. Please keep showing that Michigan arrogance; asshat. (and yes, I understand point you where apparently trying to make)
August 26th, 2019 at 11:15 AM ^
You hit on some good points.
Your last line reminds me of what my dad told me one time... I said something under my breath about someone being slow or bad at their job and my dad looked at me and said "if everyone could do your job, you wouldn't have it." Really woke me up to reality.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:17 AM ^
Total agreement and you are absolutely correct about the academia portion. We have become worried about "feelings" instead of teaching things like the value of hard work and learning how to cope with adversity without running to therapy every time life throws a curve ball at you.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:21 AM ^
When we were on vacation this summer, my FIL had a small fit about my nephew wearing an MSU shirt (which, to be honest, I didn't like either). I give the kid credit, since he lives in Medina and wears Michigan gear almost constantly (not sure where the MSU shirt came from).
Anyway, his mother rightly pointed out that we should all prepare ourselves for the possibility that some of the younger family members won't be able to get into Michigan, given the current admissions standards. My daughter worked her ass off in high school (way harder than you or I did, for sure), and somehow I don't see her younger brother doing the same.
August 26th, 2019 at 1:06 PM ^
Seems like he nailed it to me. Love athletics, but the article makes a lot of sense. Additionally the media coverage of all things-sports is trending toward the absurd in some cases, or didn’t you catch the Allpro bass series, along with the Cornhole National championships, Pickle Ball Derby, Spike Ball and the under 13 Baseball all star game this weekend on ESPN the ocho? I guess that’s what you get when you have 500 channels, social media etc.
August 26th, 2019 at 1:45 PM ^
Everybody's fission for a trophy these days.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:18 PM ^
One of the great tragedies in U.S. culture is what is glamorized and what occupations are valued. Sports are brutal on bodies, but there are jobs for the "have nots" that are brutal for a lifetime with far less material reward. I believe everyone is good at something, but certainly not in a winner take all culture that inflates the individual. No one in their right mind would play football, they do it for the payoff and because it is culturally celebrated (and we love competitive stakes, winners and losers).
I'm not making right or wrong judgments, and I love watching college football. I just hate to see people wasted by a culture that forgets about the price. If you don't win, you are often treated like you don't matter.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:14 AM ^
Not a bad article, but Mick does sound slightly "grumpy old man" in that article.
(1) Sure, there are no such things as D-3 scholarships. But parents are still right to be proud of their kids (with the requisite posting on social media) if they do play sports at that level.
(2) For the vast majority of parents - the "true prize" isn't seeing their kid make the pros. That's only for the truly elite. The "prize" instead is getting that college-levels scholarship. That's worth a whole lot of $$$ in itself. Mick presented stats as regards HS specialization and being drafted for the pros. The more interesting stat, in my opinion, would be HS specialization and obtaining D-1/D-2 level scholarships.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:23 AM ^
And how many D-1 or D-2 scholarships are there relative to the number of high school athletes? Precious few. Yes, parents should do everything they can to help their child succeed but they should also give voice to reality. Kids should be taught resilience, self application and personal discipline. Those qualities transcend any particular career and provide the foundation for a successful life no matter what they do.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:28 AM ^
And playing sports is a GREAT way to learn resilience, self application and personal discipline!
I guess the point I was trying to articulate: if you kid specializes in HS sports (depth over breadth), does that actually have an advantage in getting a college scholarship? I'd be interested in seeing those statistics.
I think it was Phil Steele - he did some analysis years ago and found that HS offensive lineman that also participated in HS wrestling tended to overachieve their recruiting/star ranking when playing college football. That's one data point to that question.
August 26th, 2019 at 2:20 PM ^
Offensive linemen and wrestling. No new. Reggie McKenzie was recruited by Bump Elliott precisely because of his wrestling prowess. Its all about leverage and nothing teaches leverage like wrestling.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:54 AM ^
I would argue that the belief that your son/daughter is going to earn a college scholarship because they specialize in a sport is mostly a fallacy. I know this is purely anecdotal evidence, but I know a family that had 4 daughters that were very good softball players. Each played travel ball from ages 10-18. Each missed out on a lot of fun kid stuff in the summers because of travel ball. Their parents easily paid 6 figures over this course of time between cost to play and travel. 1 of them earned a scholarship. All along their justification to the cost was that they were investing in college. Wouldn't it have made more sense to set aside money and help their girls with tuition?
I also am going to try and find an article that is about the amount of basketball scholarships available each year and how there are a LOT more AAU players than there are scholarships.
August 26th, 2019 at 1:50 PM ^
That's because he is a grumpy old man. McCabe has been around literally forever. I read his articles on high school sports in the Freep back in the 70's. He was one of the only people in this area for years writing about recruiting. So, I'll always appreciate him for that. But he does have perspective at least.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:22 PM ^
Parents who think that their kid is getting a scholarship are delusional. If your kid isn't "that kid", the one who is more athletic than all of the kids a year or two older in their town, that kid isn't getting scholarship.
Most college sports have very few scholarships to offer, even at the D1 level. Beyond football and basketball, the sport with the next most scholarships per team is lacrosse, with 12.6 scholarships. The average D1 lax roster has 44 players. Most players are getting nothing.
If parents are spending dollars in youth sports as an investment in a scholarship, they are crazy.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:15 AM ^
I particularly liked the part about specialization. Kids (and parents) now a days just play one sport, thinking that's the way to get a scholarship. Then the author shows how almost all of the guys drafted this year played multiple sports in high school.
Also had to laugh at the "signings" on social mediato Division 3 programs. My son had several friends who pretended to sign a LOI to a Division 3 college.
August 26th, 2019 at 12:54 PM ^
I think the "specialization" thing probably doesn't get the correct spin when discussed in the media. My guess is that there are two different populations of people who get into pro (or D1 college, for that matter). One group is the insanely athletic. Those kids play multiple sports because they can, with relative ease. Playing multiple sports is not what turns them into professional athletes. Tyrone Wheatley and Thomas Wilcher ran state records in the high hurdles (13.7 and 13.6 seconds respectively) and while sprinting and practicing hurdles probably made them even better football players, the odds are they would've excelled at whatever athletic endeavor they attempted that required strength and speed. The other group of kids have a lower athletic ceiling, but are able to achieve a degree of success thanks for specialization. Do you think Tate Forcier could've been an all-american caliber hurdler if that's what he focused on instead of football? Probably not. His training and focus allowed him to compensate (up to a certain level) for his comparative lack of superhuman athleticism.
August 26th, 2019 at 2:35 PM ^
To that, I would say that a person can be dedicated to the intricacies of a sport to compensate, without dedicating their entire HS athletic career to the sport.
And I truly don't know this, did Tate Forcier only play football in HS?
August 26th, 2019 at 3:38 PM ^
Sure, I mean it’s a matter of degrees. My point is that when people site NFL draft statistics saying that most of them played multiple sports, it isn’t the fact that they played multiple sports that got them to the nfl. It’s the fact that they’re world class athletes and that allowed them to get that far playing anything.
Signed,
A guy who had to try to guard Antonio Gates in high school basketball.
Ps. Not sure of Tate and the other sports. He just popped into my head as a dude who completely maximized his athletic potential through specialized training.
August 26th, 2019 at 7:54 PM ^
I see what you're saying. I agree, citing the athletic pedigrees of freak athletes doesn't truly bolster his argument (even though I agree with his stance)
August 26th, 2019 at 11:28 PM ^
^^^^ Truth
Most NFL players are freaks of nature, even the UFAs. How many NFL-bound 6'4" (or taller) OLs couldn't make their HS hoops team or track team as a shot putter just based on the likelihood of being the biggest kid in their school? Same with WRs/DBs/RBs and track.
These articles confuse the cause and effect.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:24 AM ^
"Today was a good day,
messed around and got a triple double..."
then later hit it round for the cycle,
than QB'd the crew to the state title
uhhh ...........also stretching is vital?
August 26th, 2019 at 11:25 AM ^
I'm learning a lot with a 9 year old and a 6 year old in soccer, just trying to get them involved, to teach them to be a part of a team, to teach them to work hard and give a good effort.
Parents like me exist, but we are becoming more and more the minority. The tournaments and the travel and the practice expectations for young kids is insane. Most of the kids just want to play and have fun, but it's not that anymore. Even casual play on any organized team has become a huge responsibility for the kids and a huge commitment for the parents, and the ones with talented kids are so insanely focused, I don't know how there's any space for anything else in their lives.
My friends have baseball practice every other night, 3 games a weekend, plus meetings, just for little League. Somehow they still have jobs and a house to maintain. If my son had any interest in baseball, unfortunately I'd have to tell him no, because there's just not enough hours in the day.
I can't imagine the pressure as they get older, after they've invested all this effort; as the demands get higher, how will they keep up? What will they do when their daughter finds a sport she likes?
It's to the point where you can't simply participate anymore. If your whole family isn't immersed, you can't keep up.
August 26th, 2019 at 12:00 PM ^
I echo your comments. When my two sons started little league baseball during middle school years, I was amazed at the number of neighborhood parents that hired a pitching coach and batting instructor. By the time the kids reached high school they hated sports and gave up athletics.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:32 AM ^
Meh, my daughter is a high school senior this year and plays a lot of tennis tournaments (Champs level). I am under no delusion that she is going to get a D1 scholarship. Most of the parent I interact with are not under any delusion either (it is hard to be when every player is ranked and knows exactly where he/she stands). I think this is a case of few bad apples making all the noise. Most parents are pretty well adjusted in my experience.
I am just hoping that her experience will help in college admission. And that is where the specialization comes in. Having been part of a bunch of sports team does not stand out as much as having a single sport where you are really good at it when it comes to college application. This is not just athletics but academics as well. Colleges these days want kids who extremely well rounded (scores high on everything) or someone who has really excelled in one particular area. This is what is driving specialization, not necessarily D1 scholarships, which everyone has noted, is extremely rare.
When colleges change their approach, the kids/parents will adjust as well. But the current happenings is not being done in the vacuum. It is happening because that is what the system is wanting.
August 26th, 2019 at 11:34 PM ^
It has been my experience with two athletic boys (one in HS and one in middle school) that the parents have the craziest expectations when the kids are about 10 or younger. So many think that their kid is getting a scholarship.
When the kids get to high school, if they have been playing at a very high level, the parents have learned enough to realize that scholarships don't happen for all but the very select few. The upside is that there is a slightly better college than otherwise, but the real motivation is that they kids learn more about hard work and what it takes to be successful that is then applicable to the much more important and larger world outside of sports.
August 26th, 2019 at 12:08 PM ^
The most alarming statistic parents should take note of is the higher rate of injury to those who specialize in sports. Whether your kid truly is a D1 prospect or not, a devastating injury can derail that in a heartbeat.
Something else to ponder- I have been coaching high school football for a number of years. We've had some good players come through that were fortunate enough to be recruited and who ended up with the chance to play college football at division 1, 2, 3 and NAIA. One of the most common questions a coach will ask about a player is: "What else does he play?" They want to see versatile athletes that play more than just football.
August 26th, 2019 at 12:32 PM ^
I think parents are a problem in HS sports. But so are schools, coaches, state legislators etc etc. Parents are the easy target here just like how many players and parents see the coaches as an easy scapegoat.
I help run a basketball league for K-8 kids in Toledo. Before the year, we had a parent meeting discussing schedule, vision of the league, what they can expect from us, contact info etc. Had about 150 kids participate three days a week from January-March and I only remember two times where I thought a parent was out of hand. I think a lot of issues can be mitigated through communication. Obviously there are some crazy parents, but there are a lot of coaches that are protective and defensive of their methods. In the end it’s their choice on how to coach and operate their program, but I don’t think all parents that complain should be vilified.
August 26th, 2019 at 1:50 PM ^
My sister coached Varsity Volleyball for over 10 years and just hung it up a few years ago. When I asked why she quit, she said the parents were ruining everything. Her last few years of coaching she received tons of backlash, because she was not playing the players who were playing travel ball in the off season.
She kept saying she did not care if they played travel ball or not, she was going to play the players that were working the hardest in practice and who were the best players. It did not matter if they played travel ball or not.
August 26th, 2019 at 2:13 PM ^
Feelings. Everybody gets hurt feelings . It's part of life that too many people are not dealing with properly.
August 26th, 2019 at 3:01 PM ^
The worst parents are the parents who played no sports growing up and their kid becomes involved in sports. These parents have zero clue what a D1 athlete looks like let alone a D2 or D3 one.
This is what I’m most dreading with my own kids. Having to sit and listen to these idiots talk about something they have zero idea about.
August 26th, 2019 at 3:05 PM ^
These types of articles drive me crazy because they're written from a false assumption that all the parents you see acting like assholes on the sidelines, demanding their kids go to the best camps and get into the best schools, are the only parents out there. Yes, if you are at a 7-on-7 drill camp or travel soccer or a Math Olympiad, chances are the parents around you are more likely than not to "care" about their kids succeeding. The more intense the event, the higher that level goes up. But that's like assuming every grown man is over 6' because you only surveyed college basketball players.
Yes, people are competitive now, but it's partly because they have to. Citing the 1970s is peak "back in my day" bullshit, where a person could get a high-paying job with barely a HS degree. Today, you effectively need a college degree, trade school, or a decent combination of both to get a viable job that has some growth potential. Yes there are exceptions, but the world is a hell of a lot flatter now and those high-paying labor jobs just aren't there anymore. And yet, for all the talk about helicopter parenting, only about 35% of HS graduating students attend a 4-year college; the other 35% of HS graduates who attend college go the community college way. For most parents, they just want their kids to have a chance to succeed and be happy. Yes, if you only talk to parents in Park Slope, Brookline, or Birmingham you might believe that every parent thinks of their children as super-geniuses who have to go to Harvard in order to be worth a damn, but that's more a bias than a reality.
As for athletics, in 1982, the average NFL salary was a bit over $90k; in today's dollars that's still only about $240k. Good money, but certainly not to the level we see now with athlete salaries. I'm sure if guys in 1975 could stand to make millions of dollars playing football, parents would have been way more insane about it. The notion that in a generation or two parents suddenly changed their nature is insane; it was just easier back then to set your kids up to succeed. Are their assholes now that push it way too far? Sure. But I've met a bunch of Boomers and they are the most self-centered, egotistical individuals you can imagine; they 100% would have been as bad as any current parent if the world hadn't been handed to them on a platter.
August 26th, 2019 at 7:51 PM ^
Great great great write up. Also most of those boomers raised all the parents now. Sooooooo