META: Is MLive Trolling Brian?
When the headline "‘Particularly chonky’ squirrels at University of Michigan..." popped into my newsfeed, I thought MLive was trolling Brian's characterization of the MSU tight ends as "chonky boys" (from MGoPodcast 14.9). These were the first and second times I had heard the term used.
I have since educated myself on the Urban Dictionary. "Chonky" is a thing.
IMO, these squirrels are big, but they've got nothing on the MSU tight end room.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:00 AM ^
The Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:18 AM ^
"...it's going to be delayed by anyone..."
And relayed.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:02 AM ^
jesus
November 10th, 2022 at 11:05 AM ^
No they're encouraging him.
November 10th, 2022 at 12:16 PM ^
It didn't cross my mind writing the story, but we should start appealing 247 to get TE recruiting profiles up on some of these critters.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:11 AM ^
Those squirrels are, and have always been definitively chonky. Not sure what the controversy is, besides stop feeding the damn squirrels.
November 10th, 2022 at 12:25 PM ^
In high school I lived at Observatory Lodge, which was then still apartment housing for M staff. There was a man there who would feed the squirrels in the evenings--bread, I think--and they would drape themselves over him until he was one happy, seething mass of squirrel. Always gave me the willies.
Recently, an elderly friend who grew up in Depression-era Oklahoma offered a recipe for squirrel gravy to another friend who was complaining about squirrels eating all of her bird food on social media (that's where they eat). I thought, "One man's meat. . ." Then I thought, kind of a fun band name. Your first album could be a picture of somebody's floppy johnson, covered by a big x, or shipped in red cellophane. Then I thought, probably been done, anyway. Then I thought, vinyl's pretty rare nowadays.
Carry on.
November 10th, 2022 at 1:10 PM ^
The early 1990s squirrels were definitely plus sized, but nothing like the critter at the top of the page. Even back then, the squirrels had zero fear of humans as so many students fed them.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:13 AM ^
The squirrels in the Diag are basically pets to the entire Michigan student body.
My daughter (2026 UM Grad) has sent me multiple videos of her and her friends feeding the squirrels...despite my admonition that they are not like domesticated dogs or cats.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:17 AM ^
But domesticated squirrels, chunky or not, in a few hundred years? Because evolution.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:32 AM ^
Circa 2001-2, we had a squirrel that used to walk in our open front door, hop up on the back of the couch, and watch Sportscenter with us. We never gave him any food, but I'd like to think we nourished his soul with our camaraderie...
November 10th, 2022 at 12:25 PM ^
See my post above. A2 has some special squirrels. Signed, 84 M grad.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:18 AM ^
A symptom of people spending too much time on social media. They all start buying instapots, air fryers and using common lingo like chonky or game-changer.
Fascinating to watch.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:56 AM ^
Game-changer? That's so cheugy.
November 10th, 2022 at 2:13 PM ^
Air fryer squirrel and a nice riesling sounds like Thursday dinner to me.
November 10th, 2022 at 2:22 PM ^
I thought it was chianti:
November 10th, 2022 at 7:13 PM ^
What's the problem with air fryers?
November 11th, 2022 at 8:03 AM ^
Nothing per se. Just interesting to see what people purchase en masse based on social media influencing.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:24 AM ^
I could really go for a chonky troll now that mention it. Unfortunately those types of establishments are quite illegal in my current locale.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:32 AM ^
what we refer to, in the back country, as 'roasting squirrels'
November 10th, 2022 at 11:35 AM ^
Yessir. Thems is good eats.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:59 AM ^
taking me back to my days in White's Holler TN (middle of nowhere in the foothills of the smokies) where battered and fried squirrel was a delicacy. great snack at a cock fight. wash it down with some apple pie shine and busch light
had some BBQ raccoon too. Taste pretty good when harvested from the wild and haven't been eating peoples trash their whole lives.
November 10th, 2022 at 12:46 PM ^
pretty hard core
November 10th, 2022 at 1:00 PM ^
phenomenal life experience to be sure.
November 10th, 2022 at 1:43 PM ^
Was it necessary to physically assault the squirrels before frying them? Sick f*cks.
November 10th, 2022 at 11:33 AM ^
A major problem. However, seems like a great opportunity for engineering to jump on and get those little rats some exercise, ala Mark Rober:
November 10th, 2022 at 11:35 AM ^
My dogs just killed another of my backyard squirrels today despite my protest. These squirrels aren't even chonky ones but actual halfway in shape ones. I just bought them some bells off of Amazon in hopes of giving the non-chonky squirrels a chance, my dogs that is, I don't think the squirrels would let me get close enough to put bells on them. This adds nothing of value to this post but it seemed relevant enough!
November 10th, 2022 at 12:03 PM ^
years ago, I had a wonderful female GSP... Shady. She was about 12 years old, 1/2 blind and not nearly as agile as she was as a younger dog. We regularly had well fed, if not over-fed, squirrels on our birdfeeder on the back deck... she would eagerly wait at the back door, until we let her out when she would take a futile charge at the tree rodents that would easily out pace her and race up a tree... she would then spend the next 1/2 hour or so at the bottom of the tree, convinced that if she was still as a statue, they would not see her and come down. Of course that never happened.
One day, with 8" to 12" of snow on the ground.... One of the squirrels decided to stop 1/2 way to the nearest tree, she completely ran it over, but hit the skids in time to turn around and grab the unfortunate little bugger!!! Shady-girl, in her advanced age, did the unthinkable.... she caught a squirrel, on what was likely her 250th attempt. A proud moment for the old gal.
November 10th, 2022 at 12:30 PM ^
Agreed. It's a slow day for me down here in hurricane-ridden Florida. (The hurricanes pretty literally MOUNT the state and ride it like the bomb in Dr. Strangelove.)
November 10th, 2022 at 12:09 PM ^
"OH LAWD HE COMIN" was a dead giveaway that Brian is a subscriber to /r/absoluteunits (as am I) which is about chonks of all kinds
November 10th, 2022 at 12:40 PM ^
Those are exemplary chonks, for sure.
#amidoingthiscorrectly
November 10th, 2022 at 12:42 PM ^
We used to rent a cabin at Higgins lake every summer and of course there were a lot of squirrels. Then my aunt and uncle and kids started renting a cabin in the same group of cabins. At their home there were squirrels that they used to feed and train to come right up to them.
They started doing the same thing at Higgins lake. In the wintet the cabins were rented to hunters. The next summer there were very few squirrels around those cabins.
November 10th, 2022 at 1:52 PM ^
I had a kid come by to sell me something for her school blah blah blah and she said seemingly out of nowhere that she loved chonky cats.
Turns out my cats had come down and were watching through the glass door.
Look, they're on a diet, okay?
November 10th, 2022 at 2:03 PM ^
After going to Oakland for undergrad and having my Michigan experience as a grad student the relationship between undergrads and the squirrels is very fascinating, when one died last month there were flyers for a funeral and an obituary…
November 11th, 2022 at 11:02 AM ^
Back in the day, M football star o-lineman / renowned wild child Steve Everitt was noted for kicking the squirrels in the Diag.
It's not like anyone was going to say something to him about it....