/engineer'd

A buddy and I climbed about halfway up the arm of a cherrypicker that was outside the Ross building (when it was under construction) and then started back down.

 

Some guy walking past yelled, "that's all?! Pussies."

 

We were like, "Hell no! We're not lady parts!" and climbed all the way up into the basket.

 

Nobody died. But the 4Loko hangover made us feel like it.

Okay not in band camp, but while I was managing this pizza place, at the age of 20, I threw a 2 kegger in the small restaurant. The beer store next store knew me so well (3 years til that point) that they never ID'd me. Well the night went off swimmingly, everybody had fun and no one was arrested. The only bad thing was a lot of people were coming in, asking for me to my face (!), saying- I was told I can get free food and beer from me. I had a good time telling people I wasn't there anymore. Looking back, it was a blast but I never took into account how much trouble I could have gotten into, and I'm not even talking about my job. Lots and lots of underage drinking. I was pretty dumb.

These are not entries, as only one of them is me, and I don't live in town and can't get up there for this weekend.

I may or may not have run naked down the street in the student ghetto neighborhood. More than once. Not part of the naked mile.

Another friend was drunk and got the brilliant idea to take one of those traffic horse roadblock things. He then noticed a cop in the area, so he left. And then 10 minutes later came back to try to take the horse again. He did not notice the cop was still there. Whoops.

Two other friends were walking from one party to another with the good ol' red Solo cup full of beer. Cop stopped them and gave them a ticket for open container. Cop also told them that if they needed something between parties they should just smoke weed instead because the ticket was about $100 less.

Ah, Ann Arbor.

I BOUGHT tickets to watch this team play, if that ain't crazy I'll kiss your ass...not really going to do that.

Hmm the only one that really stands out from my college years was this one: 

My fraternity brothers occupied a couple of houses down at the corner of State and Hoover my junior year. We paid a homeless guy $20 every game to clean up the cans and empty solo cups because pledges are unreliable at best. About three games into the season, this guy brings his also homeless girlfriend with him to the tailgate where they proceeded to dance on each other on the porch of one of the houses. At one point the woman goes into diabetic shock right on the porch so we call 911. The cops and EMS show up and start asking the homeless guy questions. 

Cops: "Does she do any drugs?"

Homeless guy: "Yeah! She smoke crack!" 

C:"Did she smoke crack today?"

H: "No!"

C: Did she smoke crack yesterday?"

C: "Yeah!!" 

Needless to say this put the final nail in the coffin of our business arrangement with the guy. 

 

I watched Michigan beat Ohio State once. It happened! I was there!

but my crazy behavior is NSFL

No entry; I ate mushrooms before a hockey game. Never eat mushrooms before a hockey game

Let me know

I'm in town, but have made other plans.

But there was the time when I was in the Big House with friends (we were students) and my one friend, who is about 5' 4" got epically drunk and the rest of us picked him up and started passing him back up the student section. Eventually we lost sight of him and went back to watching the game. Sometime later (in the 4th quarter), I learned what it meant when Carl Grapentine called your name over the PA system to 110,000 people telling you to go to First Aid. They had my drunk friend there and he gave them my name and I was charged with taking him home.

This other time when we were down near the field, this same friend pissed in an empty glass labeled apple juice. Then we deliberately dropped it on the field (this is the student section corner) and we'd implore cheerleaders, band members, or whoever was walking by, "Hey, can you hand me my apple juice?" One guy finally picked it up, and the cap was apparently leaky. As he handed it back he said, "Is this piss?"

Good times as an immature college student.

The first week of my sophomore year was my "hell week" for my fraternity (really nothing more than sleep deprivation and other annoyances along the same line). Well, over the summer, I had used a fake ID in East Lansing, and was busted, had to get booked and took a plea deal that put me on probation for 1 year.

Well, as part of "hell week" some of the older guys in the fraternity thought it would be funny to make us run across the street (washtenaw) naked. After we got back in the house, we were told we didn't do it right, and had to run again. About 15 minutes later, they sent us back out, and by the time we hit the center of the road, about 6 AAPD cruisers swarmed us, and had us all line up on the side of the road. So 15 guys stood there completely naked and each talked to an officer for about 15 minutes. They took our names and SS numbers, and sent us back into the house with a warning. Talking with the rest of the group afterwards, I was the only idiot who gave to police my actual name and SS number. I was convinced for the next 12 months that I would be arrested and sent to jail for violating my probation.

That's a pretty good deal, but I just got an e-mail sent to all engineering grad students saying there's 40 free tickets for the game. Section 33, rows 2 through 6. What a great time to be a student, eh?

No Entry

My junior year, welcome week a group of us, while quite intoxicated, were strolling up and down state street watching the prototypical large groups of freshman attempt to find parties. It was quite hysterical. We stopped by charlies and got even more hammered. Tried going to pizza bob's for shakes (would recommend) but they were closed. We drunkenly huddled up blocking the entire sidewalk in front of pizza bob's and decided we should sprint to pizza house from there because they had shakes and we're still open. Out of nowhere right as we are about to break someone yells "quack." We all begin slowly quacking like the mighty ducks until it culminates in us yelling "GO DUCKS!" and sprinting towards pizza house. As we are sprinting some random gent named Thomas joined us. We get about halfway there until we realize the seal really needed to be broken. We went into EQ hammered drunk and underage at the time. Extremely drunk and obnoxious accidentally use the women's bathroom. From there we head to pizza house with Thomas still with us. Get there and down 4 orders of feta bread with Thomas. Quite a fun night although we never heard from Thomas again.

No entry because I'm out of town, but this is a fairly tame one.

My freshman year, I came down with a fever that left me completely immobile and unable to even think about getting off my roommate's rattyass futon. Yet it was a Friday, and Michigan was playing (IIRC) Michigan State in hockey that night. So I went and stood for the entire freaking game, completely zonked out of my mind on meds. And of course it went to OT, which meant standing even longer. I think it ended in a tie. I was pretty sure I was close to death.

I went home to my dorm that night, fell flat on my face in bed, and proceeded to do that sort of half-awake dream/hallucination thing all night, to the extent that I woke up the next day not entirely sure where I was. My mom came to town, literally carried me out of my room to the car, picked me up some Zingerman's breakfast that I couldn't stomach the idea of eating, and deposited me on our family room floor for two days, where I proceeded to sleep for pretty much the entire weekend.

There's also the night I acquired a discarded, seven-foot tall section of Michigan Stadium bench seating out of a dumpster after the 2005 Illinois basketball game and carried it home to East Quad through backyards and alleys in a foot of snow, apparently the only one who evaded arrest in doing so that night. 

NO ENTRY

After my fraternity's initiation party, two of my heavily inebriated buddies and I broke into the big house in the early hours of the morning and climbed the ladder behind the student section scoreboard. We sat on the top platform and watched the sun rise from the top of the scoreboard. One of my best college memories.

The Summer after my final year at UofM was when they were doing construction on the stadium. I went out to Ricks with my roomates on a Saturday night, and ended up bringing home a girl who was considered a "Friend with Benefits". She was also a cheerleader for Michigan.

We were both in that "Happy Go Lucky" drunk stage, and both of us were willing to do just about anything at the time. I took her up on the roof of my house(which was visible from about 60 different windows in the neighborhood), and ended up banging her for about 20 minutes. After that, both of us were still very giddy, I suggested that we walk down to the stadium, and go for round two. I proceeded to drink two beers on the 7 minute walk to the stadium, and we snuck in through a crack in the construction fence. 

At that point I was fairly whiskey dicked. I took the girl down onto the field, and layed down right on top of the M at midfield. She gave me head for probably 20 minutes(I would love to have a framed photo of that). That gave me a slight recharge, and she got on top and after quite a bit of effort, I was able to complete round two.

 

I'm headed out of the country for the weekend, and therefore won't be able to accept any free tickets, but I'm glad for the opportunity to recount a story that I hadn't thought of in a while.

In 2008 I got into a fight with a student from Toledo after they beat us. Not my proudest moment.

 

**Disclaimer: I live in Florida and will not be attending the game. I just thought I would share.**

i was walking around aimlessly drunk after the central game. a guy that resembled DB came walking by and said, "quit drinking. go to bed." maybe it really was DB!!!

Thinking through the crazy things I did in AA brings back fond memories. I did a lot of things in AA that were totally out of character for me. Unfortunately, I'm not there anymore and can't attend the game :( but it's nice to read through these. I took a piss on the kitchen floor of a house I didn't live in at the time, I was completely sober. I ended up living in this same house a few years later and ended up taking a piss on the same kitchen floor again. I was not sober this time, in fact, I do not remember this event taking place.

After being kicked out of my fraternity, I lived in a tent in the basement of 933 S. State Street (then BOX house) for an entire semester, winter of my sophomore year. Even managed to have a girlfriend who regularly slept in the tent with me.