This Week's Obsession: A Moment in Endzone Comment Count

Seth

The Question:

Now that we have all read it, what for you was the most jaw-dropping moment of Brandon's Lasting Lessons?

The Warning:

We're going to spoiler this. If you haven't read it yet you should go do that.

The Responses:

Brian: There are many jaw-dropping things. The whole book is cause to walk around Ann Arbor drooling, from Lochdogg's inability to parse data to Brandon cutting down the nets to all of the infinite firings. But I was most stunned by this:

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Also the ellipsis.

That's the welcome plaque outside Brandon's house. It is quite something, and then you get to "the Brandon's." WHO DOESN'T CHECK A PLAQUE THAT IS GOING ON THEIR HOUSE CALLED "HAPPILY EVER AFTER"?! Even leaving aside the crazy rich person vibe the whole thing gives off, this is one metal object that Brandon clearly intends for generations to come and marvel at, and it isn't even proofread. Says somethin' about somethin', that.

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Seth: It has to be "Firing Fridays," and the massive turnover inside the athletic department. Throw a football down Granger and chances are it will be caught by someone sitting on the porch of a modest home with an "M" flag. That person probably had many opportunities through the years to take a job somewhere else that would afford a far larger and newer home, probably with a big yard and PVC pipes. So many of these people were pushed out, scared off, or straight-up let go that I even know a few of them.

In some cases, e.g. football coach, directing a money cannon at a proven professional is warranted. But Brandon took this to an extreme, bringing in two six-figure outsiders to replace every longtime $45k family member, then firing the family on the flimsiest of pretenses—often just voicing disagreement with Brandon—at such a rate that "Firing Fridays" was a thing. In a few short years those remnants from the Canham-Schembechler-Martin department were surrounded by a certain archetype of in-it-for-the-money young professional who knows nobody in town, owes everything to Dave Brandon, and knows little about college athletics except not to disagree with the boss.

Reading the quotes from former marketing and event presentation director Ryan Duey was the point when I got so angry at Brandon that even after getting up and stomping around the house for 20 minutes I had to get up and stomp around again like one sentence later. My page 297 is smudged and stained and has water wrinkles because it took me a day and multiple rooms to get through without throwing a tantrum in front of the kid.

The damage from that is irreparable. The people Brandon brought in are hardly worthless—they earned that payday by being excellent at what they do—but it will take 30 or 50 years for the kind of community and institutional knowledge Michigan used to have to grow back. Even talking about it now—three times in writing this response I've had to put down the keyboard and take a stomping tour around the living room. In fact here comes the fourth.

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[After the jump: you may want to make sure there's nothing throwable in reach]

David Nasternak: I have to admit that I'm only just over half way through BLL, currently. Shockingly, the progression of football season has severely cut into my free time for things like...reading.

The most gut-wrenching theme that unfortunately has repeated itself throughout the chapters I've read so far is Brandon's seeming ease with which he either fired people (with not much valid reasoning) or threw them under the bus, concerning whatever specific situation. Previously, I'd heard stories regarding that happening to a handful of employees, but I never realized how commonplace and widespread it actually was.

Reading that over and over just gave me a sick-to-my-stomach feel that I almost had to take a break a few different times. Now, I understand that people do get fired and upgrades happen in business -especially in the sports industry; however, the rate at which it happened and certain coaching positions that it happened to were downright baffling. Additionally, someone who can just cut ties with that amount of people -many of whom had quite a dedicated loyalty to Michigan that went above and beyond a paycheck- just for disagreeing or questioning some of the other changes/processes really makes me angry. Money and success are important; however, so are character and integrity...and those are qualities that money or success will never be able to grant. As the book goes along, I'm noticing that Brandon generally valued himself over others and would not hesitate to remove people if they became a hindrance to his agenda or publicly blame them in order to save himself from ridicule. I just believe there is no tolerance for behavior like that, especially in a leader.

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Adam Schnepp: The most jaw-dropping moment for me came during Brandon's meeting with four University leaders on Wednesday, October 29, 2014. As Bacon relays it, everyone in that meeting saw a new side of Brandon; he listened, he took responsibility for mistakes, and he seemed to genuinely want to know what could be done to mend some of the fences he'd broken. After reading a detailed chronological history of burned bridges and unimaginable arrogance, this new version of Brandon was hard for me to believe. The first few pages of this account painted Brandon as sincere, and that's a word that could only be used to describe his adherence to his own ideas and methods in the face of logic to that point.

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Warning: revelations in this book may
turn your mind to goo.

As the meeting wore on, though, Brandon maintained his new, vulnerable exterior while asking in different and subtle ways for the four other people in the room to tell him he had done a good job. He was looking for personal validation and for others to essentially agree that it was outside forces conspiring against him, not his own mistakes, that had put him in a position where he was holding onto his job by a thread. Again, my jaw hit the floor. Here's Brandon acting as though he's made this sweeping change to who he is, and when it comes down to it he again showed concern for little other than his own ego. His personality was to the best of his ability, and he didn't fix it.

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Ace: Perhaps because my focus is mainly on the revenue sports, I never fully realized how much coaching turnover there was across the athletic department until I started doing research for the book. Putting together the numbers was jaw-dropping: only one coaching staff Brandon inherited, consisting of all of two people, remained completely intact during his tenure. Despite Brandon's meddling, Michigan's performance in the Director's Cup got worse.

On top of that, Brandon treated the coaches he inherited like dirt, to the point it became obvious in the book he planned to oust several of them all along, almost regardless of performance. Few quotes stand out like the one he delivered to the men's soccer team at the team banquet after one of the most successful seasons in school history, when they won the Big Ten title and made the NCAA Final Four: "Do you know what happens when you make it to the Final Four? We expect you to do it again." He said this to the whole team! At a celebratory banquet! Is there a stronger term for "tone-deaf"?

Coach Steve Burns, who'd been successful at Michigan for a long time, didn't get a raise or an extension, and when his team had a down year the following season—after losing 98% of their goal-scoring from the Final Four squad—he "resigned"; Brandon replaced him with Chaka Daley, who got paid a whole lot more (with a guaranteed contract, no less) for worse performance. Brandon wanted his people in the department, he went to extreme lengths to make that happen, and to top it off, his vision for the department only worked in his head.

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Proppe (left) and Dishell (right). Patrick Barron|when he was with the Daily

Seth: What do you mean I already went? That was Angry Seth. Also somebody had to speak for the best moment of the book.

Bacon is a journalist, and I mean that in the "he sticks to the real story and what he can prove" sense. That makes some of his writing a bit dry, since he won't deviate from the facts for the sake of drama.

But in the Proppe-Dishell story he didn't have to, because the way that unfolded was plot development so good my Creating Writing professor would be nodding along almost as approvingly as Michael Proppe's statistics teacher.

You meet Proppe and Dishell after they've won their election to a mostly useless job on a technicality. Then they take on this real job and run circles around Brandon and Loch-dogg, who are dead set on ignoring CSG and shoving this policy down the students' throats. As the story develops the heroes get more heroic, and the villains get more villainous.

Everything builds up to that meeting before the faculty when Proppe gives a drop-mic performance, then the faculty turn to Lochmann and are like "so…are you changing this policy?" and he's like "I guess we'll have to" and everybody high-fives. But guess what: Brandon welches, and by the next meeting Lochmann is right back to patronizingly telling the students to do something anatomically impossible.

If this was a Ken Follett book at that point you'd be like "okay, I shoulda seen that coming since there's still 45% of pages left in this thing and this is what Ken Follett villains do." When you're reading a Bacon book and real people are acting like every Ken Follett bad guy ever, your mind is just blown.

How did nobody bring up M-Hacks?

Comments

dragonchild

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:57 PM ^

Strong buy.  I'm serious.

As depressing as all this is, Brandon is the modern archetype for U.S. executives -- destroy institutional knowledge, cash in goodwill, throw a bunch of shit around.  That raises the company's public profile, which brings investors flocking.  It defies common sense, but common sense isn't valued economically these days.

See, real operations is quite boring.  When it comes to sausage-making, no news is good news.  In almost a literal sense -- when have you EVER read an article or watched a news segment about a food facility that didn't involve food poisoning?  A factory that's just churning out product sold for a healthy profit. . . there's nothing to talk about.  When it comes to publicly traded corporations, investors have no patience to learn the intricacies of what the hell they're getting into, but feign curiousity about the process anyway.  In the industries where I've worked, it takes two years for a design to go from initial planning to assembly line.  Most stocks these days are traded by computer algorithms and turned around in fractions of a second.  Think there's a place for institutional knowledge in a world where the interest in a company's operations isn't even on the timescale of milliseconds?

So instead of excecutives who are good at operations, companies these days are headed by marketers.  These CEOs aren't there to market the product; they're there to market the companyThat's Brandon's value; he's the shareholder's executive.  Brandon, in basically being a sociopathic narcissist, is good at one thing -- generating buzz that falls just short of a government-mandated recall.  All the destructive crap he does that permanently cripples institutions is a cost shareholders gladly put up with as long as the stock takes off.  It isn't even a downside to them -- milliseconds, remember?  The problem, aside from all the destroyed families, crushed dreams, dysfunction and disillusionment in general that traders don't give a shit about, is that Michigan never had the need for this kind of asshole in the first place.  Alumni are not shareholders.  The Michigan Athletic Department never had an imminent sale to be prepped for.  So everything Brandon is "good" at, was just what it is -- a dick screwing things up.

My suspicion is that Toys R' Us hired Brandon for exactly one purpose:  Do what he does to prep it for an IPO.  And he will succeed, because we are collectively insane.  If TRU goes public, buy as soon as you can, because the stock WILL take off.  Just make sure to sell it almost as quickly, because the only reason Brandon will generate any excitement is by cleaning the company like a fish.

treetown

September 23rd, 2015 at 2:10 PM ^

A lot of businesses that actually make stuff - is not that fascinating unless you really are in love with that. So a business that makes widgets and has been doing well for decades making widgets just won't excite a lot of people who aren't into widgets.

This observation is also why some privately held companies do better (not always of course) - they know they just want to make widgets and don't want to be a celebrity or churn up interest.

Institutions are great and as the UM nears its 200th year in existence, the broad lesson is that yeah, we are terrific, we are the leaders and best, etc., but only if we have decent people in charge. It could all go down the drain with one or two people in the wrong posts.

Tom09

September 23rd, 2015 at 2:19 PM ^

Slightly disagree. DB ran the athletic department like a puppet CEO for a Leveraged Buyout Firm - aka what he did for Dominos and what he's doing for Toys R Us. When you manage a LBO, your goal is to restructure debt and increase short term cash flows, aka fire people. In Dominos case, they had a legacy founder who paid no attention to his financial statements. At Michigan, we had Bill MFing Martin.

DB seems like he's pretty good at firing people for no reason. The illiterate idiot also seems like he thinks that what worked at Dominos could just be cookie cutter applied to any organization, regardless of context

dragonchild

September 23rd, 2015 at 3:17 PM ^

I'd say no one is "good" at firing people, since it's something you just do.  Sociopaths are popular among shareholders for their willingness to do so, if that's what you mean.  But Brandon didn't fire people at UM to clear payroll.  He replaced them to build a crony army over which he had complete control.  Cost-saving wasn't the plan, and he's anything but a puppet.  He's more like a buffoon; if he seems puppet-like it's because he has zero knowledge or curiosity about operations so all he's good for are skywriting and rape noodles and other pet projects.  But turnover excites investors (again, complete opposite of common sense), even if you're replacing people as fast as you're letting them go, so in today's logic-free world he can appear valuable even if he provides no tangible value to anyone.  And apparently, that's ironically all the value that actually matters anymore.

Not to mention I think the role of short term cash flows is overstated in restructuring.  It's still applicable but not a necessity these days.  Modern investors aren't merely greedy & stupid; they're downright crazy.  Also, there's a huge sector (including the big accounting firms) who'll cook your books however you want.  So you can have a narcissist like Brandon take over and attract investor attention even if -- for the sake of argument -- Dominos was hemorrhaging money during his tenure because he's "the kind of guy who gets shit done".  Again, CEOs these days are graded not on competence but how much noise they can make.  Note this is completely contrary to a competent operations guy, who sets things up such that you can just sit back and watch money flow in because the day-to-day operations is a well-oiled machine.

/ I worked for a financial services company.  Lost that job in the '01 downturn.

True Blue Grit

September 23rd, 2015 at 4:07 PM ^

I'd say Brandon learned a lot of these "skills" at Bain Capital, whose specialty is taking over companies to turn them around at maximum profit - then sell them off to shareholders or whomever.  In this case, turning around means slashing costs, closing marginal operations, laying off employees, and generally doing whatever it takes to make the company appear more profitable.  They're not concerned with long-term competitiveness, since Bain always wants to take the big profts and run on to the next victim.  In the case of Domino's, thank goodness for Patrick Doyle who was able to take over and fix many of Brandon's mistakes. 

steve sharik

September 23rd, 2015 at 4:49 PM ^

So instead of excecutives who are good at operations, companies these days are headed by marketers. These CEOs aren't there to market the product; they're there to market the company. That's Brandon's value; he's the shareholder's executive.
The truth of it is that Brandon is an atrocious marketer. This is coming from someone who just got his MBA from Ross and took a lot of marketing electives. Brandon's also a terrible leader - Exhibit A being Ross as the #1 ranked school for leadership (in one of the publications) and positive organizational prowess, yet Brandon never consulted with one single Ross professor.

dragonchild

September 23rd, 2015 at 5:01 PM ^

You're looking at it from the point of customers or fans/alumni.  You know, how marketing SHOULD work.  When it came to selling products, he was atrocious, but he doesn't sell products.  Brandon couldn't care less about that.  His job was to dress up Dominos and he did that.  Otherwise he sells himself, and at UM he got the gig he wanted.  When he wanted to sell something, he sold it.  That thing was just never anything that mattered to us.

You can say he's a sociopath, he's a horrible person, he's an idiot, or whatever, but if you consider that he only cares about himself and he's still employed, as he defines his existence he's not a failure.  The problem is how successful he is being just that.  That's a fundamental problem with society.  In a sane world he'd be the village idiot who gets children's stories written about his crazy and ill-fated schemes of grandeur.

steve sharik

September 23rd, 2015 at 7:46 PM ^

Selling something and selling it well are two different things. If Tide changed their formula without telling anyone and went cheap, drastically increasing profits, they'd still sell (for a while). But the long-term effect would be eroding market share and consumer confidence. It's cutting open the goose to get the golden eggs.

The tactics he executed were not good marketing, plain and simple. 

L'Carpetron Do…

September 23rd, 2015 at 6:32 PM ^

I like your take on the modern CEO.  Nailed it.  and I think thats' why Americans no longer trust Corporate America.  

I remember how psyched I was about Brandon because he had been a (supposedly) successful CEO with a proven track record of turning around Domino's (I've since learned he had little if anything to do with the turnaround).  For some reason I thought that would translate into success in the athletic department.  I think a lot of people have this perception that CEOs are highly capable and brilliant people that possess some kind of magic touch to fix any problem.  Brandon certainly had none of these qualities.  CEOs should stick to business.

On a side note, isn't it scary that someone as petty, incompetent, irresponsible, and unprofessional as Brandon can rise to such high ranks in the business world in this country? 

dragonchild

September 23rd, 2015 at 8:17 PM ^

I want to say so.  That would mean I still have some hope left.  But it's so common it's practically an expectation these days, so I don't feel fear so much as resignation.

I was actually genuinely shocked that CEOs like Hackett still existed.  Then I heard he was talked out of retirement and I was all, "Oh that explains it. . .. they don't."

Rupertus

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:00 PM ^

The recounting of Brandon's sale of his Domino's stock (in brief, he cost himself almost $100 million by pulling the trigger when he did instead of holding on for the long haul) seemed to me to be a real microcosm of the way in which he ran the athletic department. Short-sighted chasing of the quick buck where a more considered, measured approach would have worked so much better.

Seth

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:37 PM ^

That part I think led to the wrong idea. Brandon did make good money on his stock. He wouldn't have known that the stock would go up because that was mostly due to a crazy lucky (or smart) play by the CFO, who bought wheat futures the extreme low of the market right before they shot up to historic highs for three years. There was a WSJ article about it. That move allowed Domino's to make their product for way less than their competition for several years, and that advantage allowed them to do other things to take market share. No way the CEO from pre-2009 could have guessed the CFO in 2011 would pull off one of the best commodities trades of the century.

Da Fino

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:24 PM ^

Is this post grave dancing?  Sure as hell is, and I love it.  I'm with Brian on this one.  When I read the passage about the plaque at the "Ever After" entrance, with its grammatically incorrect content and its misplaced elipses, and then read how the highlight of the tour was DB's closet where ties are color coded on a bespoke, professionally lit island in the middle of the space, I about wanted to barf.

BlueFish

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:07 PM ^

I'm about 3/4 through the book.  Like Nasternak, football season has cut into my reading time.  Also, if I wanted to read, I'd go to school.  This is quite seriously the first non-picture book I've read in 10+ years.  But required reading, no doubt.

I just got past the chapter about DeBord sitting in with non-revenue sports and canning the tennis coach (Berque) because he hadn't won a B1G championship in something like 9 years.  And then pushing him on a press release while he was considering the severance package, so the AD could avoid any social media storm.  It was sickening.  I feel bad for so many people in this book, who stayed out of loyalty, passing up other opportunities, only to get shit on by Brandon.

I lost a lot of respect for DeBord, too.  How long has be been around?  Wouldn't we expect him to know better, to fight for the "old" way?  To quote Ocean's Thirteen, you shook Canham's hand; you should know better.  He converted to a yes-man lackey for his own benefit.  What a fucking sellout.

M-Hacks.  Already discussed above, but fleecing the fans AND academic units to pad your financial bottom line?  Unbelievable.

I truly hope Hackett has read this and formulated a plan to right a lot of Brandon's wrongs.  Opening the stadium back up to the public would be a great start.

MI Expat NY

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:38 PM ^

In defense of DeBord a bit, reading that poriton I got the impression that he was merely doing Brandon's bidding.  That doesn't make it right, but if he new disagreeing or standing up to Brandon would cost him his job (and he likely did), it becomes dificult for him to have acted in any other way.  

Rupertus

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:26 PM ^

Actually, I'm glad someone brought this up because I forgot about it. Adidas - a company that has been providing apparel to many, many athletic teams all over the world for more than 60 years - basically told Brandon that his Michigan was the worst organization they had ever worked with, and that he could go pound sand if he wanted. It's simply incredible that someone who was so lauded for his business experience could have such poor relationships with important partners.

csmhowitzer

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:20 PM ^

I pulled a Seth and stormed around my living room several times while reading this book. The most upset I got was with M-Hacks. The gonads on the guy to charge students/department at the same school he's representing that amount of money just to use a room for the day. Not to forget that they're gaining popularity for the event by staging it at the Big House. I also agree about fire-em Fridays. Just the amount of experience we lost with those firings, how many years of networking these people had with alumi, fans, former and current athletes. The lesson of Bo's that didn't stick. That it's cheaper and easier to teach an employee how to do better than to fire them. WHOOOOOOSH. I'm getting annoyed right now just typing about it.

Gr1mlock

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:22 PM ^

I'm maybe halfway through it still, because (a) time and (b) i can only read about 10 pages at a time before I get  too angry and have to put the book down for a bit.  But of that, I agree with Brian, the stuff about his homes was just this revelation into his ego.  The oppulance, the need to show them off to everyone and anyone, naming them like he thinks he's created Monticelo or something, naming them in the most hilariously pretentious ways possible (Ever After?  Camp David? Get the fuck out of here..), and then the typo sign, I was just...wow.  

 

To be fair, there are significantly more aggregious things in there, Firing Fridays most notably, but for some reason, the house stuff just struck a note with me.   The bit about his travel demands also hit me.  The firings and lochdogg and all that can just be written off as "he's a douchey businessguy who things he knows better", but the interpersonal, non-professional stuff just speaks to who he is as a person.  

westwardwolverine

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:23 PM ^

Am I remembering correctly that he told the basketball team not to act like "thugs"? If I am, that really sticks out. 

For me though, its the way he treated the athletes in comparison to everyone else. Its clear that he saw himself as one of them - because of his own weak ass football career - and set up an Us against Them atmosphere. 

4godkingandwol…

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:24 PM ^

... but the thing that irked me the most was his treatment of adidas.  From designing terrible uniforms and throwing Adidas under the bus, to stealing their Final 4 tickets for his family, to refusing to work with anyone other than NA president.  My god, what a horrible human being.

It's really a fascinating character analysis.  From insecure, petulent teammate to giant bully.  I haven't gotten to the end yet (83% complete according to my Kindle), but I imagine it ends with somone clearing out Camp David and burning a sled with the monogram "CD" on it.  

medals

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:24 PM ^

As a student who busted his butt doing odd jobs during the summer and school year to pay for extracurricular stuff (including football season tix), Brandon's comment that "mommy and daddy" pay for student football tickets as justification for jacking up prices was really, really infuriating.

And it seems like the guy who touted himself as the rags to riches son of a local egg farmer should have known better than to say something like that.  

Man, that made me angry!

 

Frieze Memorial

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:42 PM ^

What you have to understand is that his back story is what created all of this. There is nothing more motivating in your adult years than that which you were denied as a child. So Brandon showed up at UM poor, only there because of his scholarship. Of course he saw the other students as rich kids whose parents paid for everything. Of course he still feels that way. I guarantee he feels like an outsider to this day. In his life, earning money literally made it all better. He wanted to "help" Michigan in the same way: by banishing and punishing insiders and showering money on those who he brought in.

Rabbit21

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:25 PM ^

The firings of the non-revenue coaches is what still gets to me.  There were a few ex-UM athlete's in my old neighborhood in Michigan and to a one, they all hated Brandon and related stories of what he put their old coaches through as a matter of routine.  The whole damn story is mind-blowing and hopefully serves as a long-standing example of what not to do.

jg2112

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:25 PM ^

The chapters about Hagerup are most illuminating.

To me, Brandon made two terrible personnel decisions. One was not hiring Harbaugh in 2011. The other was not replacing Red. Both programs have suffered for those decisions for years, and had he gotten those right he'd probably still be employed at Michigan.

Seth

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:47 PM ^

1. Harbaugh probably wouldn't have worked for Brandon. Look how much effort went into that recruitment for December 2014. The Carr thing was smoothed over but all the captains and luminaries joining in to welcome him home...you'd have needed a very different AD to coordinate what basically some fans and program guys were motivated to do after some crazy circumstances.

2. Fire Red? No way. Berenson has earned his right to go out when he likes, whatever our preferences. If Grandpa brought the family to America and fought in World War II and built the family business and paid for this wedding, it doesn't matter how long the line for the bathroom gets; he can stay there as long as he likes.

markusr2007

September 23rd, 2015 at 1:28 PM ^

my cynical observations of the corporate world today. 

I'm just one guy. Others may disagree with me. But in my view, the behaviors, attitudes and "professional" acumen on display in BLL are actually flourishing in the corporate world today. It's not being laughed out of the room or shouted down.

Things like character, integrity and service are a punchline.  What's growing in it's place? A general lack of humility, boasting while standing on the shoulders of the giants that came before you, refusal to look at data and assume accountability for decisions, and operating off of "feels good".  Things are bad, and will probably get even worse. If you're a future Loch-dogg type then congratulations, you're going to find fertile ground for career growth.

gbdub

September 23rd, 2015 at 4:07 PM ^

It's not how good companies are run. Actually I'm glad you said "corporate studies 101" because that's what I saw in a lot of Brandon's actions - a very shallow understanding. He did things because somebody else did them and it turned out well, without understanding WHY they did it or why it worked well. The staged "Hoke said yes before we mentioned salary" thing is a great example. As is "if it ain't broke, break it!"



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