The Very Model of a Modern Don Brown Linebacker
[Ed-Seth: Bumped from the board because this is the single greatest reader contribution in MGoHistory. Original thread.]
So some (ahem) 2.5 years ago, when Brian did McGrone's recruiting profile, he called him "the very model of a modern Don Brown linebacker".
This immediately resulted in me taking a half-hour plus off work that afternoon to craft the entire rest of song ('The Major-General's Song, from G&S' The Pirates of Penzance) in a comment on said article (about which Brian then sagely tweeted something like "the inevitable result of a passing Gilbert & Sullivan reference on a Michigan blog").
It's been an interesting couple years since then, but I thought that in honor of our newly-departed LB and DC that I would finally put my voice where my words were. Not perhaps as funny as it was a while ago, but then again, 2020.
Then again again, this is a Michigan blog and you are my people. There are enough people that will find this hilarious to fit in a Suburban, and for that I thank you.
Here's to a better decade ahead, for all.
[After THE JUMP: the lyrics if you want to sing along]
I am the very model of a modern Don Brown linebacker,
I'm formed in blitzing, tackling, and the audibling of MIKE 'backer
I know the feats of Michigan, and quote the games historical
From Fielding Yost through Harbaugh, too, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters pure aggressional,
I understand what players stand to earn when they're professional;
So with a baseball coach from Yale I'm teaming my ability, ...
For timing of the snap with speed and strength and pure agility.
I'm really very good at rehabilitating ligaments;
I know E-S-P-N senior evals are naught but figaments;
In short, in matters blitzing, tackling--elements of MIKE 'backer,
I am the very model of a modern Don Brown linebacker.
I know our mythic history, from Ben Friedman to Ben Oosterbaan;
I've heard of Harbaugh's Guarantee, I've watched our docs on Amazon,
I translate into sonnets all the speeches of Bo Schembechler,
Been warned of Marcus Hall--I answer tactfully each dumb heckler;
The diff'rence of Lewan's and Coach Brown's mustaches is: sparsity!
I know the tenor descant to the long refrain of Varsity,
And I can hum The Victors march antiphonal, in dialogue, ... (hmm...ah!)
And downvote all the posts on that infernal nonsense MGoBlog.
Since I can shoot the A gaps as if bouncing off a trampoline;
I'm better than that Devin Bush at drawing of a wolverine;
In short, in matters blitzing, tackling--elements of MIKE 'backer,
I am the very model of a modern Don Brown linebacker.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "gap responsibility",
When I can tell at sight a pulling guard with no mobility,
When such affairs as covering a back split wide I never fear,
And when I know precisely what is meant by an inverted veer--
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern spread offense,
(When I know more how Rutgers ended up in this damn conference!)
In short, when I've a smattering of Coach Brown's feisty attitude –
You'll say a better MIKE 'backer has never, ever sat a Dude.
For Michigan's defense, though it's been plucky and adventury,
Has finally been dragged into the dawning of this century;
In short, in all the elements that do pertain to MIKE 'backer,
I am the very model of a modern Don Brown linebacker.
December 30th, 2020 at 9:10 AM ^
Now do the choreography.
December 31st, 2020 at 11:19 PM ^
favorite comment yet probs. thx.
December 30th, 2020 at 9:14 AM ^
all-world work by SSA. kudos to the 10th power.
December 31st, 2020 at 11:19 PM ^
thanks, X. means a lot coming from you!
December 30th, 2020 at 9:15 AM ^
Truly amazing.
December 30th, 2020 at 9:16 AM ^
Yeah, that was spectacular.
December 30th, 2020 at 9:19 AM ^
100% Pure Colombian Awesome!
Outstanding!
Tough year but go blue and best wishes in 2021 for Michigan sports and everyone's families
December 30th, 2020 at 9:21 AM ^
Fantastic! And thanks for posting the lyrics so we can see the full extent of the hilarity.
December 30th, 2020 at 9:21 AM ^
I'll be singing it to myself all day. Excellent work SSA
December 30th, 2020 at 9:24 AM ^
Fantabulous!
December 30th, 2020 at 9:55 AM ^
Simply amazing.
December 30th, 2020 at 9:59 AM ^
How to upvote this to the moon!?
Brilliant
December 30th, 2020 at 10:02 AM ^
This is awesome.
December 30th, 2020 at 10:04 AM ^
McGrone should be paying a commission when this helps move him up into round 2-3.
December 30th, 2020 at 10:07 AM ^
This is excellent. And also the most mgobloggiest content ever.
December 31st, 2020 at 11:21 PM ^
honored, thanks.
December 30th, 2020 at 10:15 AM ^
Speechless.
Well done
December 30th, 2020 at 10:25 AM ^
I'm not sure I have the words on how much I enjoyed that. Jedd Fisch might be calling you for a copy of that soon.
December 30th, 2020 at 10:31 AM ^
You accomplished more in that 30 minutes of composition than I have in the last 10 years.
December 30th, 2020 at 10:32 AM ^
Bravo!
December 30th, 2020 at 10:34 AM ^
I hereby give you all of my MGoPoints earned over the last fifteen years. Brilliant.
December 30th, 2020 at 10:41 AM ^
Instantly #1 on the charts!!!
December 30th, 2020 at 10:48 AM ^
I’m jealous... you’ve actually done something with your life with this video.
Standing ovation!!!
December 30th, 2020 at 10:51 AM ^
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
OMG & S
December 30th, 2020 at 10:59 AM ^
This is MGoBlog Hall of Fame material right here!
December 30th, 2020 at 11:00 AM ^
I award you 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
to the trillionth power points
nice vocals, too
December 30th, 2020 at 11:00 AM ^
That is really all of the content I need today. I think it will take me all day to memorize the lyrics.
December 30th, 2020 at 11:05 AM ^
Awesome ... Happy New Year to all !
December 30th, 2020 at 11:16 AM ^
I clicked to read, expecting a breakdown of the evolution of modern linebacking... and was disappointed. But then was completely not disappointed by the end of it. +1
December 30th, 2020 at 11:17 AM ^
I bet you get laid on karaoke night.
December 30th, 2020 at 11:22 AM ^
I just hope Don Brown and Cam McGrone see this, open MGoBlog accounts, and acknowledge this artistic genius publicly!
December 30th, 2020 at 11:26 AM ^
$1 says the OP was in "Pirates of Penzance" back in '03.
Great work!
December 30th, 2020 at 11:30 AM ^
Was not, but attended a production at the Chautauqua Opera around then, in which the Pirate King was played by the man who voiced Gaston in Beauty and the Beast if that counts
...sweet merciful heavens I am a nerd of the highest order
December 30th, 2020 at 11:50 AM ^
Does anyone have $1 I can borrow?
December 30th, 2020 at 12:12 PM ^
Go back to The Landing Strip and ask Candy for one of your dollars back.
December 30th, 2020 at 12:21 PM ^
Great. Now I have Cameo playing in my head.
December 30th, 2020 at 12:13 PM ^
Naturally, I double posted, ruining the joke.
December 30th, 2020 at 11:29 AM ^
He is not a late round LB like many here have said. He is a first day pick, period.
And am I the only one petrified of our starting LBs next year? Imagine if our new DC runs a 3-4... they better make Kemp stay and lose the false weight.
December 30th, 2020 at 12:00 PM ^
Here's how brilliant this is: I know $#@&-all about musicals and opera but I still really enjoyed it. That's another way of saying that it has "layered" appeal.
December 30th, 2020 at 12:09 PM ^
I... can’t wrap my head around the absolute brilliance of this.
How?
Seriously, how did you DO this?
Who is the lead vocalist? Who did you get to sing the chorus?
I want a “making of” video.
This is indeed the single greatest reader post in MGoBlog history, and I have been here since the blogspot beginnings.
December 30th, 2020 at 1:23 PM ^
Don Brown Linebacker on VH1 Behind the Music
December 31st, 2020 at 11:25 PM ^
"The making of":
I used GarageBand, added an accompaniment track that I didn't know I had on my hard drive, and downloaded the chorus parts. recorded those over the top of the already-existing ones--leaving them to make it sound fuller.
then went back and added the lead vocal and realized that what I had always thought was a fairly easy song to do was not, once you actually, you know, tried to sing it. Words come at you fast!
...and then the video...which clearly I don't do much of as you can tell :)
December 30th, 2020 at 12:10 PM ^
Brilliant!!!!!!!
December 30th, 2020 at 12:28 PM ^
I don’t know how to describe what I just saw but it wasn’t enjoyable
December 30th, 2020 at 1:06 PM ^
sorry sir, wrong thread you meant to use the "MSU 2020 Game" post
December 30th, 2020 at 12:31 PM ^
Happy New Year SSA! Thanks very much for helping us close out 2020 with a smile. Great creativity!
Thanks Seth for bumping this to the main page.
December 30th, 2020 at 1:27 PM ^
Genius Lyrics.
I watched and listened the first time through, just read the lyrics as I listened the second time, sang along (almost?) the third time.
My favorite post of all time. Thanks SSA
December 31st, 2020 at 11:26 PM ^
wow. humbling. thank you.
December 30th, 2020 at 1:35 PM ^
Wow. Just wow.
Truly compelling and brilliant.
Thank you.
December 30th, 2020 at 1:39 PM ^
Bravo!
Comments