12/4/2021 – Michigan 42, Iowa 3 – 12-1, Big Ten Champions

People just sang.

YOU GOT TO PUMP IT UP.
DONT YOU KNOW?
PUMP IT UP.
YOU GOT TO PUMP IT UP.
DONT YOU KNOW?
PUMP IT UP. pic.twitter.com/e2mWVCPpUT

— Patrick Barron (@BlueBarronPhoto) December 5, 2021

There are many things that stoke my envy when I consider European soccer. First and foremost is the lack of commercials, naturally. Second on that list is the sort of fan culture that means you've just got a song and that's the song and everyone sings the song. Everyone. Not a fight song, but some weird thing someone latched onto many years ago that became a signifier of in-crowd status and from there became a Tradition. Some colleges have a version of this, but they're pale imitations of the sort of crowd-wide belting going on across the pond. A few people mumbling "Hang On Sloopy," sort of embarrassed they're doing so. Sort of thing.

Not Michigan on Saturday. I had to make a bunch of calculations that resulted in the decision not to go, so I only experienced this on television. But my hair stood on end all the same. This is the loudest I have ever heard anything sung on a broadcast.

Michigan fans' impromptu, a capella Mr Brightside rendition: pic.twitter.com/RyC2vUn3KQ

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) December 5, 2021

On the podcast I mentioned this nutball behind me at the Rutgers game who veritably ejected his esophagus whilst belting out "Mr. Brightside"; now I know what it sounds like for everyone in a stadium to do that.

Look at us! Here we are.

I predicted this team would got 7-5, and this was maybe slightly optimistic relative to the world. Michigan was unranked in the preseason, coming off a 2-4 COVID year in which they lost to an 0-5 Penn State team and a Michigan State team that was nearly as bad. They lost to Indiana. They went to overtime with Rutgers. They had a long—nearly infinite at this late vantage point, success disappearing over the horizon—history of disappointing no matter what level they were expected to play at.

Also they'd seen a quarterback transfer. The defensive coordinator was axed and an entirely new staff was brought in, most of them from NFL pastures that rarely work out at the college level. The offensive line coach was replaced with a guy who'd never coached the position. The best wide receiver went down in the first game. In desperation Michigan imported a 360-pound DT from Oregon State who didn't even play for one of the worst P5 programs.

Nothing about this team looked like it would ascend at this rate. 7-5 is a nice turnaround! 7-5 is a building block after having one of the worst defenses in America and losing a first round pick off of it. 7-5 qualified as optimism. Even setting aside the irrational feelings of the Black Pit Of Negative Expectation, to look at this roster and coaching situation and predict anything so bold as an Outback Bowl would have been foolhardy.

So yeah, when people on the team call out the nonbelievers it hits home because I was one of them. Because I was a human being outside of the program, I was one of them.

--------------------------------------------------

I have a habit of retweeting former Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's perplexing interest in Michigan football whenever it runs across my feed, for funsies.

With a hard work ethic Inshallah the U of M will return to its glory days.

— Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (@Ahmadinejad1956) October 16, 2018

I've thought about this far too much because of the ambiguous nature of the phrase "InshAllah," which is literally "if Allah wills it" but has developed into one of the most semiotically confusing phrases in either English or Arabic.

Depending on context it is either a statement of faith or its opposite. Joe Biden used it in a presidential debate to express skepticism that Donald Trump would release his tax returns, and that meaning has leaked into wider English usage since. I wonder if ol' Mahmoud was using it in this sense since he was responding to a fairly arch tweet from a Michigan fan.

It's certainly how it felt as the years dragged on. When will Michigan beat Ohio State? InshAllah. Weary cynicism radiates off the phrase. There's a certain tone to it. And it's certainly been my tone.

But it is also something very different. From the article linked above:

Haq explained that the Islamic doctrine of “Kasb” or acquisition represents the middle ground between moral responsibilities and God’s omnipotence. While God creates man’s actions, man “acquires” them, thereby becoming responsible. A common ancient parable used to explain the concept of InshAllah is that of the camel. It is a Muslim’s duty first to tie his camel, and then leave it to God. InshAllah, then, becomes an affirmation of divine providence after due human diligence—not an excuse to do nothing.

Obviously the divine does not take interest in football games but I think the duality there is right for this moment. Michigan did their due human diligence, pumping it up (you've got to pump it up) in the weight room this January, assembling a defense with the explicit purpose of beating Ohio State over the offseason, studying the OSU defense after its midseason flip and taking advantage of its simplistic rules. All of those are reasons Michigan broke the streak and won the Big Ten and is now headed to Miami.

All of that is a true way to explain what happened and why a stadium in Indianapolis is singing Mr. Brightside so loudly it's registering on local seismographs. And also why that leap of faith was required. The guy who made the video above concludes it with a plea to reclaim the phrase's original meaning: "if someone says InshAllah, it means they will try  their best, and God permitting—if nothing happens to them, if nothing happens in the world—it shall be done."

If you asked me at the beginning of the season about this team, I would have used the cynical version of InshAllah. This team used the brighter one. They said destiny was calling them, InshAllah.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

hello [Bryan Fuller]

you're the man now, dog

#1 Aidan Hutchinson. Iowa built their gameplan around the fact they could not block Aidan Hutchinson and Hutchinson still dominated the game. Alex Padilla averaged 3.8 yards per completion because if he held the ball for a split-second longer Hutchinson was going to sit on him. Getting a 14th sack in these conditions is truly heroic, and it was right and just he became the first defensive player to win the Big Ten Championship Game MVP despite just four tackles.

We need better defensive stats.

Aidan Hutchinson was a terror on basically every play: pic.twitter.com/gat8YvJ1af

— Alejandro Zúñiga (@ByAZuniga) December 6, 2021

#2 Chris Hinton. Hinton was a key component of a Michigan rush defense that held the on-fire Tyler Goodson to  2.8 yards per attempt. He drew a hold on what would otherwise have been a sack, was critical to the stop Michigan got on Iowa's first drive, and finished the game with two tackles. See above about needing better defensive stats.

#3 Donovan Edwards/Blake Corum. Two explosive plays against a team that simply does not give them up set Michigan up with a comfortable lead in the first half and allowed them to play from in front during a dangerous period. The threat of Edwards in particular set up not only the throw over the top but a third and twelve conversion and a couple other plays. Edwards himself only ran for one yard but his swing pass catch got Michigan out of the shadow of their own goalposts. But really: it's just the two explosives. Two points each.

Honorable mention: Brad Robbins out-punted an Iowa punter. Cornelius Johnson blocked a punt and had a circus catch to convert a first down. Luke Schoonmaker had two spectacular catches. Jaylen Harrell put in some work on the edge. JJ McCarthy's speed set up the Corum explosive in two different ways. Roman Wilson made a catch he had to make. Also: is fast. 

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

63: Aidan Hutchinson (HM WMU, #2 Wash, #1 Rutgers, #1 Wisc, HM Neb, #2 NW, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU, #2 Maryland, #1 OSU, #1 Iowa)
33: Hassan Haskins (HM WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, #2 Neb, T1 NW, #1 IU, #2 PSU, #3 OSU)
23: The OL (#1 Wash, #1 NIU, HM Neb, HM NW, #2 OSU)
22: David Ojabo (#2 Wisc, T3 MSU, T2 IU, T1 PSU, HM OSU)
20: Blake Corum (#2 WMU, T3 Wash, T2 NIU, HM Neb, T1 NW, HM OSU, T3 Iowa)
14: Cade McNamara (#1 MSU, HM IU, HM PSU, #3 Maryland, HM OSU), Donovan Edwards(T2 NIU, #1 Maryland, HM OSU, T3 Iowa)
8: Ronnie Bell (#1 WMU), Brad Hawkins (#1 Neb), Dax Hill (#3 WMU, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM Neb, HM MSU), Josh Ross (HM Wash, HM NIU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM NW, HM PSU, HM OSU), Brad Robbins (HM Wash, #3 Rutgers, HM Wisc, HM PSU, HM Iowa)
7: DJ Turner (#3 NW, #3 PSU, HM OSU)
6: Nikhai Hill-Green(HM NIU, #2 Rutgers), Jake Moody (HM Wash, HM Wisc, #3 Neb, HM MSU), Andrel Anthony (#2 MSU, HM Maryland), Chris Hinton (HM Rutgers, #2 Iowa), Cornelius Johnson(HM NIU, HM Wisc, #3 IU, HM Iowa)
5: Roman Wilson (#3 Wisc, HM PSU, HM Iowa)
4: AJ Henning (HM WMU, #3 NIU)
3: Erick All (HM NW, HM MSU, HM OSU)
2: Junior Colson (HM IU, HM PSU), Mike Sainristil (HM WMU, HM Maryland), JJ McCarthy(HM OSU, HM Iowa)
1: Andrew Vastardis (HM WMU), Mazi Smith (HM Wash), Gemon Green(HM NIU), Taylor Upshaw (HM IU), Michael Barrett (HM Maryland), Matt Torey(HM Maryland), Vincent Gray (HM OSU), Jaylen Harrell (HM Iowa), Luke Schoonmaker (HM Iowa)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Donovan Edwards flings the best halfback pass in football history(?).

Honorable mention: Corum busts a 67-yard touchdown; Caden Kolesar gets a pick; flea flicker always flick fleas; Schoonmaker seam gets M down to the one; Hutchinson sack; really most of the game not spent backed up inside the ten.

​MARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

McNamara throws a ball behind All that miraculously deflects into an Iowa INT.

Honorable mention: AJ Henning fields a punt at the three; Michigan gets waggled a lot; uhhh some run plays didn't go very far.

[After THE JUMP: don't you know]

OFFENSE

also a hit Dolly Parton song [Fuller]

Lol what. Someone get JJ McCarthy to drop a snap against Western Michigan:

1. BLAKE CORUM’S SPEED

2. J.J. MCCARTHY’S BLOCKING

3. TOUCHDOWN MICHIGAN 〽️pic.twitter.com/F2xUkT6eIK

— PFF College Football (@PFF_College) December 5, 2021

For the record, Corum said he's still not 100% and that he slowed up to let McCarthy help out. This still does not explain McCarthy putting distance on an Iowa safety. At this point both guys are going flat out:

That turned into this before the S tried to get inside Sainristil and McCarthy slowed up to prevent that:

One of the most stupefying things I've seen on a football field. That was the first 30+ run Iowa had given up this season.

Donovan Edwards could start at QB for multiple Big Ten teams [Fuller]

The other stupefying thing. The best running back pass in the HISTORY OF MICHIGAN FOOTBALL:

This was the next snap after the Corum touchdown and is a premiere example of going for the jugular. Afterwards Harbaugh said they were going to run that as soon as they got on the left hash after the first four plays and that they'd had that in their quiver for at least seven weeks.

Michigan would follow that up with the Henning end-around that went 38 yards. Those back to back to back chunks were about to break Iowa's back in the first quarter, but the fluky interception prevented that.

A fluky interception, but… Yes, having a ball behind Erick All get deflected right into the breadbasket of the Iowa MLB was extraordinarily unfortunate. But also that was part of what felt like very rough first half from McNamara. I'm not sure if Michigan had drilled it into his head that if he was at all unsure he should just check it down. It certainly felt like that—particularly during the two-minute drill—and maybe that's justifiable. We saw Michigan retreat into a similar shell in the Washington game.

When Michigan has faced teams that are a threat to score a lot of points, McNamara's arm comes out of the garage. Related:

Punting was winning. Michigan kept getting pinned inside their ten for much of the second quarter, leading to a frustrating but correct conservatism. Michigan was up 14-3, Iowa was doing nothing on offense, McNamara was pretty wobbly. The first backed-up drive ended when McNamara left a clean pocket and nearly threw another interception on a scramble drill where he threw the ball way late.

The move was to shut up shop and wait for a break in the field position came. That came with a simple swing pass to Edwards, which Michigan had set up by threatening the swing a couple of times only for it to be something else.

Schoonmaker cuts off Jack Campbell there and Campbell gets to the sideline about 15 yards downfield. If Michigan had run that at the beginning of the game one dollar says Campbell rips at it, but the Edwards throw and the end-around had him hesitant.

Gameplan crowning. So you've got the Corum run, the Edwards throw, the end-around, the play off the end around, and then on third and twelve Michigan dials up their first QB draw of the year, one that's set up with Edwards motioning out of the backfield and taking the only linebacker with him. The last two weeks have been superlative gameplans.

 

[Barron]

Schoonmaker: hello. Two big catches for Schoonmaker in this one, the first a vertical shot in the seam between two Iowa defenders:

The second was the one-handed stab on a wheel route to set up Michigan's fourth touchdown. Schoonmaker was always a guy who was going to take time to grow into his role after being a high school quarterback; if he keeps this up Michigan's receiving corps is going to be loaded next year. Adding Bell to Johnson/Wilson/Anthony/Edwards/All/Schoonmaker is a deep, deep unit.

ALL FLEA FLICKERS. I'm adding something to my demands that all games have a flea flicker in them: all games should have a flea flicker and one Donovan Edwards pass in them.

good problem [Fuller]

Quarterback is going to be interesting. You're returning a redshirt junior McNamara and a sophomore McCarthy. McNamara is the starter for the defending Big Ten champions. McNamara is outrunning safeties and just casually doing stuff like this:

These days it is very hard to keep two talented guys on campus. We'll see how it goes here. Seems like some sort of rotation is inevitable.

DEFENSE

on repeat [Fuller]

There will be limited takes here. On the podcast I started talking up guys like Kris Jenkins and Rayshaun Benny before realizing that what I was doing was treating this like an early-season MAC game. Iowa's offense lived up to its reputation and thus there aren't a whole lot of conclusions to be drawn other than "Michigan got very lucky with its nepotism hire."

But we'll give it a go.

Waggle waggle waggle. Iowa's early success with waggles was frustrating since it felt like something Michigan should have been more prepared for. It's Iowa. This is what they do. Michigan did adjust at halftime—the first couple Iowa waggles after that featured a backside defender tearing at the quarterback—and minimal damage was done on the scoreboard. Still!

I guess the tradeoff there is that to get those waggles Iowa was committed to running for 2-3 yards on almost every first down. They spent virtually the entire game behind the chains.

A three man front. Michigan brought in a third defensive tackle for the first time since the MSU game—although they did not reprise the 6-1 that they featured in that game to disappointing results—as part of this waggle/stretch standoff. This resulted in a lot of one on one blocks and more plays made by the DL that stood out than in most games thus far. The third and five on the opening Iowa drive saw Hinton get passed up by Lindenbaum, so he gets a one on one opportunity and wins:

Michigan DE #15 to bottom inside Ojabo

Hinton also drew a holding call on a rush that was otherwise likely to be a sack. Michigan has not had much pressure up the middle this year, and while the Iowa OL had a lot to do with that Michigan has played other bad OL without getting that kind of pass rush production.

If you're going to score three points could you at least do so in a way that gets Hutchinson more Heisman hype? Iowa built its entire offensive gameplan around the fact that they could not block Aidan Hutchinson, which is fine I guess if you're actually going to put up points. If you're not going to do that you may as well execute a bunch of straight dropbacks that get your QB's head torn off, for the culture. Quarterbacks winning the Heisman is so boring.

Anyway, almost all actual dropback-type objects that went downfield at all were fades that got out so fast that Hutchinson didn't have time even when he won his rush:

And Iowa's third and goal play from the five was a two man route!

That play is straight up asking a meh receiver to win one on one without a plan B. From the five. Because what's the point? You can give Petras a second read but he's never going to get there.

[Barron]

Dodged one. Iowa had a halfback pass of their own but it was to their fullback—find a more Iowa concept that is not punting—and it barely eluded my dude's fingers above. Michigan's setup was better because it was to a wide receiver and the upside was more than a first down. I don't really get trick plays when the upside is similar to "we completed a slant."

Yes, like that time Nebraska ran the double option play inside the ten. No, I will never let that go.

Mr. Plow. Michigan thunked a lot of Iowa players back into the quarterback in this game. At this point you expect that from Hutchinson, but Junior Colson?

Okay then.

No sale. Feels like Joel Klatt had just said that Iowa loves to go to throwbacks on money downs when they tried it on fourth and three. The previous play was America's Rollout Out to a tight end being covered by Dax Hill—gain of one yard, naturally—and the fourth down was a super long TE delay throwback on which 1) three different guys bumped the TE after the release, 2) corner Vincent Gray was in man coverage, and 3) Jaylen Harrell dropped into the endzone from a DE spot as soon as he saw the roll away from him:

Mike Macdonald read Brian Ferentz's mind there. Comprehensively snuffed out.

SPECIAL TEAMS

Iowa adjusts tie before dying elegantly [Fuller]

Ding ding ding. Wonder if Jay Harbaugh went full Breaking Bad after this:

Yes, guy on twitter who confused everyone at his watch party, Michigan reclaimed, fully and finally, the top spot in FEI special teams.

That block was no fluke, as Michigan was close to three or four others. They also seemed to ID and nerf some attempted Iowa hijinks by calling a timeout when they were not comfortable with their setup versus Iowa's on one Robbins punt.

In addition! Iowa's dangerous returner ended up with negative yards on his two opportunities and Robbins blasted a 64-yarder when his replacement did not field one. Kickoff returns did not exist, Iowa missed a chip shot field goal, and Michigan did not attempt one. If AJ Henning hadn't fielded a punt at the three this would have been a perfect outing.

On that. Obviously you let it go inside the five, but Henning fielding punts at the seven and nine is actually sort of defensible. Iowa had plenty of guys in the area to down the ball, and starting outside your five means you can run normal offense instead of spending downs so your punter has enough room. These days you do see guys more liberally catching punts inside the ten.

The five, though: no.

MISCELLANEOUS

They multiply. Don't you know

pump it up [Barron]

You've got to pump it up.

FWIW, the genesis of this thing that has possessed Michigan football is a remix of a 2004 club banger that is itself a mashup of songs from 1990 and 1998 by a Belgian dude who looks like this:

Farm boy/engineer Joel Honigford, of all the people in the entire universe, is apparently the person who brought this to offseason workouts and started the process via which that song-type substance has been stuck in your head for over a week now with no signs it intends to ever leave. I am happy about this because I picked Honigford as the sleeper of the year in the 2017 class, and ending up a third string tight end doesn't really qualify as a hit there*. A third string tight end who SINGLEHANDEDLY CHANGED THE FORTUNES OF MICHIGAN FOOTBALL BY IMPORTING BELGIAN TECHNO does, though.  Ol' Belgian Techno, we call him.

*[This was a real miss: other composite three stars in that class included Andrew Stueber, Brad Hawkins and… argh… Kwity Paye. How I didn't pick the immigrant Don Brown plucked out of Rhode Island obscurity I'll never know.]

Om. The tao of kicking.

fear is the mind-killer [Barron]

Also in slices of life from the stadium, I love the spirit of "HAWKS BY A MILLION":

[Barron]

I just find Iowa charming no matter what, I know.

Elsewhere in Breaking Bad references who are also sponsors, HUEL!

i just have to lay on it [Barron]

Finally:

[Barron]

The matchup. Alabama winning the SEC championship game is a major bummer because now Michigan gets the #1 in SP+ in the semi and has to face either #3 or #5 in the final. Yes, Cincinnati is that high. Usually you see lines that hew pretty closely to SP+ but here there's a big gap: Bama is favored by four according to the computers. They're favored by 13.5 in Vegas right now.

Michigan is a 7.5 point dog to Georgia, which is a bit higher than SP+'s 6 point gap. But also: OSU is #2. Michigan will have its shot.

HERE

Best and Worst:

For example, here are the 5-year recruiting average for other recent “blue blood” teams that reached the playoffs the past couple of years:

• Oklahoma (2019) – .8958
• Notre Dame (2020) – .8991
• Michigan (2021) – .9032
• LSU (2019) – .9067

Those are all programs that consistently recruit in the top 10-15 per year, oftentimes in the top 10.  Oklahoma and Notre Dame play in relatively weak conferences (Big 12 and sorta the ACC for Notre Dame) and thus rarely face a Big Bad every year with superior talent.  For reference, here are the 5-year rankings for Alabama, Clemson, OSU, and Georgia leading up to 2021:

• Clemson – .9230 (!)
• UGa – .9300 (!!)
• OSU – .9321 (!!!)
• Alabama – .9359 (!!!!) – look up gap between UM and Iowa

Yes, I understand that guys transfer out, rankings aren’t pure indicators of performance, etc.  But good lord, that’s an insane gap between “really good” and “credible national title contenders”, and it’s almost impressive that Clemson was able to hang with that group given the (relative) gap between the Tigers and the other three teams.

Mr Brightside:

I, like many of you, have been through almost two decades of heartbreak and endless bad officiating calls, bad bounces, poor coaching, and bad luck. I created a very thick wall around what blind optimism I once had around Michigan Football from when I started going to games as a small child in the 90’s through my college years in Ann Arbor (mid 2000s). My love remained but for the past 10 years, my brain has been constantly protecting myself year in and year out from getting my hopes up too high, in fear of the constant heartbreak. How many gut punches have we suffered? How many endless dong punches? How many sick lullabies must we suffer through every single year?

This team knew it early, much earlier than almost every fan would admit. Destiny was calling them.

There is still a Michigan Difference:

Last year, when people like me declared that Harbaugh should be let go, Warde Manuel approached the offseason in the Michigan Way. Not flashy or bombastic, eager to find a microphone. Not quick on the trigger. Yes, things were bad in 2020, but Jim Harbaugh is a Michigan man with a history of being a good coach, and Michigan doesn’t just throw guys overboard. Warde renegotiated Harbaugh’s contract; Harbaugh accepted a substantial pay cut, seemingly unthinkable. Sure, there were significant performance bonuses, but nobody could expect Michigan to achieve those. Who could believe that a coach of a 2-4 team that looked worse than that record on the field could win anything with the same roster?

Warde stuck with Harbaugh because he believed that Michigan was different.

ELSEWHERE

An attempt to figure out just how fast McCarthy was moving. Also in mysterious things: we're saying BING BONG now.

BING BONG‼️ pic.twitter.com/A4gAdo28pY

— Mike Barrett (@mikebarrett_MB1) December 5, 2021

BING BONG⚠️ https://t.co/loV8aYCFC1

— (@Ronnieb_8) December 5, 2021

MVictors:

The feeling in Indianapolis beforehand–in the streets, at the Slippery Noodle during a raucous pregame, and in the 3/4+ maize and blue crowd, this was not a title game. This was a coronation.

For me? It’s a mix of emotions as I’ve written about this team for over 20 years now, mostly on MVictors, and I still remember (pretty well) the days when B1G titles were on the regular. Last night HSR’s tweet hit me, where he thanked a few us of that have been in the digital foxhole for a LONG time and have seen some stuff. But if you are reading this site you saw it all too, didn’t you? I remember not so long ago when the games were such a disaster that the meltdowns on Twitter genuinely warped into a soothing form of comic relief.

Even for the OSU beat this one is rich:

I think I would have liked to see Ohio State play Michigan on this neutral, indoor field.

— Austin Ward (@AWardSports) December 5, 2021

The weather had approximately 0% to do with the outcome. There was no accumulation on the field.