Probability of a meteorite hitting South Bend during Saturday's game
Like many of you, I am hoping for an asteroid to eliminate both Notre Dame and Ohio State from playoff contention this Saturday. Based upon a couple of assumptions (assuming that all major meteorite impacts after 1800 would be known; that anyone within the tree-blowdown radius of Tunguska would've been killed), there's approximately a 0.000000000008% chance of that happening. Here's to hoping.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:12 PM ^
I think Tucker has plans already.
September 21st, 2023 at 11:02 PM ^
Some important calls to make.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:17 PM ^
Personally, I’m hoping for an impact event like the one that created the 100-200 mile wide Vredefort Impact Structure 2 billion years ago. While I know that would likely wipe out Ann Arbor as well - and, well, sterilize the planet for millions of years - it would be a small price to pay for ridding ourselves of both those teams at the same time…
September 21st, 2023 at 4:18 PM ^
i hope neither team has fun and they don’t get orange slices at halftime
also, South Bend is a shithole
September 21st, 2023 at 4:23 PM ^
Notre Dame stadium is a scaled down version of the big house. I hope those orange slices lead to an all out tunnel brawl.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:34 PM ^
Having, unfortunately, lived in South Bend for several years I can confirm it is indeed a shithole. A gas stop on your way to and from Chicago.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:50 PM ^
I've driven "east" from Chicago more times than I can count. I strongly recommend avoiding South Bend at all costs. Granted, my destination is usually Ann Arbor, the Detroit area, or Grand Rapids - but, I was just driving east on I-90 - I'd stop anywhere but South Bend.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:58 PM ^
My dad lived in South Bend for several years. One of the memorable evenings in my life was spent in and around the bar in the Albert Pick after a Boston College game. Needless to say it was some time ago and other than the Sunday Brunch Buffet in the Pick there was not much to recommend it.
September 21st, 2023 at 5:35 PM ^
Word of warning on gas stops in South Bend, my most recent (and final) time I stopped there, was with the wife and kids in the car and ran to use the rest room at a gas station. I would have preferred another option, but I overplayed my hand and by the time we stopped there, I was all in on that facility because the mechanical forces on my bladder were maxed out. When I get there, the men's room is in use and the door's locked. So I wait. And wait. And wait. It's over 10 minutes and I'm pondering if I'm better off just going in the parking lot or the beverage coolers. Finally, a guy walks out with his shirt off, a dripping wet mullet, the toilet clogged with what appeared to be scaled down replica of Mt. Fuji made of toilet paper, and water all over the floor. I believe the gent must've taken a "shower" in the restroom before me, but I had no other choice but to use the restroom. The only upside was that the line had ballooned while I was waiting so the gent behind me knew that I didn't wash my mullet in there.
TLDR: Never stop for gas or to use a restroom in South Bend. Never.
September 21st, 2023 at 6:33 PM ^
LOL. So true. I would rather stop at valpo exit, than this.
September 22nd, 2023 at 8:10 AM ^
I lived there for 3 years working at said University. Even the okayish neighborhoods are shithole adjacent.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:24 PM ^
a 0-0 tie would be fitting.....
September 21st, 2023 at 4:30 PM ^
I would prefer a game in which ND scouts Ohio State perfectly, exposing a weakness that they cannot fix this season which we are well set up to exploit.
Basically, we need ND to be Ohio State’s Indiana…
September 21st, 2023 at 4:43 PM ^
MGoUser's occupation checks out!
September 21st, 2023 at 4:53 PM ^
Though I agree in principle - we know that is not a possible outcome.
This being said - a seven OT game with a final score of 2-0 - would be fine with me.
September 21st, 2023 at 8:19 PM ^
This with a missed 49-field goal by Ohio State with 1 second left in the game, and negative yardage from both teams in both passing and rushing.
September 23rd, 2023 at 1:24 AM ^
A missed 20 yard field goal would be much funnier
September 21st, 2023 at 5:03 PM ^
So, N0-0O game? I'm in.
September 21st, 2023 at 10:54 PM ^
Or would it be considered an O0 - N0 game?
September 21st, 2023 at 4:28 PM ^
I'd be perfectly content with ND beating down OSU
September 21st, 2023 at 4:37 PM ^
since it won't end in a tie, i do hope ohio state loses.... as previously stated, if ohio state was playing the russian national team.... I would be neutral.
Notre Dame, i don't really give a shit about....
September 21st, 2023 at 7:19 PM ^
Me too. I hope it’s the first step in an identity crisis that will rock the foundation of the program. Us and Penn St can pile on later.
September 22nd, 2023 at 8:54 AM ^
I concur. While any kind of loss will send the OSU fans scurrying for their anxiety meds, a beat down will really amp up the pressure. There's still ~2/3 of the season left and they are bound to further crack before playing us. Then they'll come to Ann Arbor and we'll put the final crumble on their cracked foundation. Go Blue!
September 21st, 2023 at 4:29 PM ^
A plague on both your houses!
I will root for debilitating diarrhea to impact both teams.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:32 PM ^
I was thinking stomach virus but debilitating diarrhea will work. I hate them but not enough to have them killed by a meteorite. I hope they run fast - pun intended.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:56 PM ^
This on the sidelines.
September 21st, 2023 at 6:22 PM ^
a pox upon them
September 21st, 2023 at 4:30 PM ^
7-3 Notre Dame would be a fitting replacement for a meteor.
September 21st, 2023 at 8:10 PM ^
Deleted
September 21st, 2023 at 4:33 PM ^
I just hope both teams have fun
September 21st, 2023 at 4:54 PM ^
I just hope both teams * have fun
*don't
Fixed it for you.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:33 PM ^
As someone who lives next to South Bend, I'm a little split on this.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:36 PM ^
Coming from St. Joe, I'm with you. Would a small meteor be able to isolate just the stadium? My wife and daughters still like South Bend for the shopping.
September 21st, 2023 at 5:22 PM ^
Actually, it should avoid killing the spectators, other than the Ohio fans. ND fans are actually fairly nice.
September 21st, 2023 at 11:08 PM ^
A smart meteor?
September 21st, 2023 at 11:45 PM ^
iMeteor
September 21st, 2023 at 4:38 PM ^
GO IRISH.
September 21st, 2023 at 8:37 PM ^
That just doesn't sound right.
"BEAT BUCKEYS?"
September 21st, 2023 at 4:39 PM ^
Hoping ND wins something like 42-3, only for them to lose several times during the rest of their schedule, thereby denying both teams excellent seasons.
September 21st, 2023 at 4:42 PM ^
When I was in college (think mid-to-late nineties), ND played OSU in a bowl game and my roommate said she hoped "1 million pigeons would simultaneously fly over the stadium and shit on everyone," and to this day, I have never heard a more genius or apt description of how I feel about these teams.
September 21st, 2023 at 8:16 PM ^
Kyle McCord will develop "bird flu" but will still play in "The Game."
September 21st, 2023 at 4:57 PM ^
Notre dame has always been a team I dislike but I loathe OSU. I still think OSU wins somewhat easily but hope I’m wrong.
September 21st, 2023 at 5:00 PM ^
I hope that Gozer the Traveler comes in one of his pre chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
September 21st, 2023 at 8:42 PM ^
We'll need a sample of your brain tissue.....
September 21st, 2023 at 5:01 PM ^
I'd happily take a disgusting game ending 3-0 in 5OT, after both teams combine for 20 turnovers and the worst offensive ineptitude we've seen in recent memory. As for "well somebody has to win," I'd rather take OSU. Here's why:
1) Winning this game does nothing to elevate OSU's status as a program. They are already considered one of the 2-3 best programs in the country on a year in, year out basis. Their recruiting is already gangbusters, and I'm not sure how much better it can get. Yes, I will be happy if they lose, but I think it benefits Michigan more if they win because realistically, OSU can't get any better or be perceived any better than they already are.
2) If Notre Dame wins, this is a program-defining win for Marcus Freeman and could catapult their status as a title contender overnight. It could be their biggest win in years. Their recruiting will likely be affected very positively by this, and while their recruiting is already good, it has room to become even better. I'd rather Michigan not have to deal with that.
I think if ND wins, Michigan's ability to recruit and win becomes harder because Notre Dame has a higher ceiling from where it is now that it can tap into. OSU....kinda doesn't.
September 21st, 2023 at 6:06 PM ^
If it gets to 5 OTs, they stop running series and just let them try 2PCs. So it'd be 2-0. (Think, the 20-18 Illinois / PSU 9OT game).
I think I'm on board with that. :)
September 21st, 2023 at 9:16 PM ^
Completely disagree. At some point I hope osu’s program has a down period. Losing games would help start that. As far as Notre Dame’s recruiting getting better l, we as Michigan fans have seen that it takes more than winning one or even a few big games for recruiting to really take off.
I will root hard for osu to lose. Just like I always do.
September 21st, 2023 at 5:01 PM ^
I stayed at a hotel in Gary the night before the Northwestern game in 2003.
Oh.
My.
God.
We left at 3am after the second set of gunshots outside and slept in a Home Depot parking lot instead.
September 22nd, 2023 at 2:22 AM ^
No offense but… what the fuck were you thinking?