OT - please send good thoughts for a dying friend
Folks, I have a good friend who's dying in the hospital from liver failure. Evidently he's been secretly drinking for years and no one knew. Feeding tube is in and fluid is being drained. It's breaking my heart and I know he'd benefit from some positive MGoVibes and MGoThoughts. Is that cool? I'm just feeling helpless with this whole thing.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:20 PM ^
Thoughts and prayers sent. Best wishes in this difficult time.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:25 PM ^
Absolutely
January 14th, 2023 at 8:25 PM ^
Sorry to hear it. Prayers for your friend and his family, and for you. That's tough.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:32 PM ^
Dealing with the death of a loved one is not easy. I know, as I have now been dealing with it for 14 weeks. I did have the advantage of ten years knowing that my wife's cancer might inevitably kill her. But due to her near death experience as a child, she knew what was coming and that it is infinitely better than this world. Her knowledge and belief helped get me through, and that's the advice I give to you: your friend will soon be in a better place, as trite as it may sound.
After he is gone, or even now, take a few moments to be thankful for all the positive things about his life and his friendship. Write them down, and refer back to them when you need to. Share them with him, too, if you can. And then go on living your life as he would want you to. My wife and I talked about this frequently. We had a philosphy when she was still here: live life while you are alive. Although there were many days in the past year when she barely had enough energy to get out of bed, when she did have the strength, we tried to take advantage of it, going camping, gardening, going for drives through the countryside, eating ice cream together. And now that she is gone, I'm doing my best to keep on living while I am alive, even though it isn't quite as much fun as when I was sharing it with her.
You are going to have some struggles over the next few weeks or months: what could you have done? why didn't you notice his drinking issues? why are you still here when he's not? These are normal. Your friend isn't the only one in need of positive thoughts and vibes. You need them, too.
Here's hoping that his end comes as easily as possible, and that you, too, will find peace.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:36 PM ^
Damn. Heart wrenching. My condolences to you. Great advice on appreciating and enjoying what you have while you have it. I’m sure we could all take that to heart.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:43 PM ^
I thank you so much for this response, my friend. My eyes are damp.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:43 PM ^
I'm so very sorry for your loss
January 14th, 2023 at 8:50 PM ^
Your courage is heartwarming. Your lovingly written message here melts my hard heart. I don't know you but I want you to know that you touched at least once person. My heart breaks for you as it has for so many of my friends who have lost loved ones and I have too but not the one I cherish most. I am so blessed as you were and are. She was amazing and so are you. God Bless you friend. She knew and you know a reunion awaits on God's time.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:36 PM ^
Beautiful and vital. THANK YOU Rendezvous. Let your journey bring you good things, and one day, a special rendezvous.
January 15th, 2023 at 8:11 AM ^
I have long been fascinated by NDE's, probably since studying Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in school. One of the mysteries in life and the after-life that give us a clue to keep us running thru this maze.
January 15th, 2023 at 8:55 AM ^
My wife, too, was drawn to learn about NDEs as an adult, but long before she was diagnosed with cancer. She read every book about them she could get her hands on, and much of what she read confirmed her own experience when as a child she nearly drowned in the ocean. She made an effort to participate in online groups to answer questions that other people had, and she made sure that those around her knew she was DNR. She told me, "If I die and somebody brings me back this time, I'm going to be pissed!" Although she was only 61, she knew she was ready for the next great adventure when her time came.
January 15th, 2023 at 9:52 AM ^
read brian weiss?
January 15th, 2023 at 10:00 AM ^
Must have. She had three of his books on her shelf, so she apparently decided his writings were important enough to buy and keep, rather than just checking them out from the library!
January 16th, 2023 at 1:34 AM ^
Nice post. I admire your and your wife's faith, grace and philosophy.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:33 PM ^
That's tough to have to watch. Thoughts and prayers for your friend, and those close to him.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:34 PM ^
Sending positive vibes during this difficult time
January 14th, 2023 at 8:37 PM ^
My condolences. I wish you the best during this difficult time.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:42 PM ^
I'm sorry for the shocking discovery, and the sudden realization that you're losing your friend. Positive energy to get you thru this time, and to the other side of acceptance and appreciation for your shared friendship.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:42 PM ^
My best friend died of Liver Failure about 7 years ago. He had struggled with both Heroin Addiction and Alcoholism for years when he passed. He was only 34.
I'll never forget the last time I went to see him in the hospital before he died, I walk into the room and homeboy is like hey you gotta check this out. So me being the curious idiot I am I walk over to the bed and he pulls the covers back to reveal testicles that were swollen to the size of grapefruits. A joker right up to the end.
Im very sorry you're going through this. Addiction is a motherfucker.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:44 PM ^
God bless.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:45 PM ^
Best wishes to your friend and you
January 14th, 2023 at 8:46 PM ^
I pray God's blessings on your friend and his family. I pray that he has knowledge of Jesus' presence and that he will never be alone.
Thank you OP for this sensitive reminder of the more important aspects of life.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:48 PM ^
Positive thoughts and vibes to you and your friend.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:49 PM ^
Wishing them the best 🙏🏾
January 14th, 2023 at 8:50 PM ^
In the name of Jesus we pray for healing of this man’s liver. We also pray for peace for his fiends and family. May your will be done. Amen
January 14th, 2023 at 9:03 PM ^
Peace and comfort to you and your friend’s family. May the remainder of his earthly journey be filled with love and tenderness.
January 14th, 2023 at 8:53 PM ^
Prayers for you both. Love is the only thing that matters. God's gift. Well done friend.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:00 PM ^
Best wishes to him and those close to him.
What does it mean to have a feeding tube in and fluid drained?
January 15th, 2023 at 6:45 AM ^
Nothing good.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:02 PM ^
mgoprayers to your friend. what is his first name?
January 14th, 2023 at 9:07 PM ^
Matt. I've always called him Matty.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:03 PM ^
Positive vibes sent. If I could give a hug, I would, man. Drinking has affected my family - myself included - in rather dramatic ways, so unfortunately, I have some idea of what you're experiencing now.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:08 PM ^
I'm sorry to hear this. Sending good thoughts to you and your friend and everyone else who loved him.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:08 PM ^
Sorry to hear about your friend Matty. Prayers sent
January 14th, 2023 at 9:09 PM ^
May he and all those impacted find peace and be free from suffering.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:15 PM ^
Sad situation. 🙏
January 14th, 2023 at 9:19 PM ^
Matty is fortunate to have a good friend like you. Take comfort in that you made his life for the better. Our thoughts and prayers are with you both.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:20 PM ^
Sending prayers to be with it all, love to your friend and ease as you navigate his transition. Ty for being willing to share and post here. You are not alone.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:22 PM ^
Sending prayers your way.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:35 PM ^
I'm so sorry to hear this. Prayers for your friend.
January 14th, 2023 at 9:45 PM ^
Prayers for your friend and yours
January 14th, 2023 at 9:49 PM ^
I’m very sorry for what you’re going through.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:14 PM ^
My deepest sympathies and condolences to you, your friend, and families. Today would have been my infant daughter's 16th birthday, so I truly do grieve for you in this difficult time. Loss of any loved one is tragic.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:17 PM ^
God bless for your friend.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:20 PM ^
Stay positive, my friend. Know that Matty will be at a better place. Try to be positive and enjoy this precious time with him.
When I’m down in situations like this, I pray. It gives me peace and comfort. I also listen to music. Here’s one of my favorites for sad times like these:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dguz0IsCuKU
God bless Matty and god bless you in these tough times.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:38 PM ^
Great song. Sending love to you, OP, and your friend Matty.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:26 PM ^
Thought and prayers. So sorry to hear. Some things in life just suck. No other way to put it.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:41 PM ^
My prayers are with you and your friend. Really Sorry to hear this.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:48 PM ^
It's a beautiful thing that this virtual community can provide support in difficult times. Thoughts are with you and draw strength from the collective experiences of so many on this board that have been where you are and gotten through it. Take care, friend.
January 14th, 2023 at 10:49 PM ^
I'm very sorry for your friend, and for you. Sending prayers.