OT: Snip Snip
On Friday, I have a preoperative appointment at the University of Michigan for my vasectomy. Soon I will officially be unable to produce little Brutuses for the rest of my existence. I always figured this would be a liberating experience, but as it turns out, as the date approaches, I am developing many fears and anxieties. Dr. Brutus has been very supportive and has assured me that she won't make me go through with it if I don't want to, but I know it's the right thing for our family. But that doesn't change the fact that destroying my evolutionary drive to pass on my DNA is beginning to feel like a big mistake. I think this might be what inmates on death row feel I the final weeks leading up to their execution.
My question for the board, particularly those who have had the snip: is there life after a vasectomy? Has anyone experienced some sort of buyer's remorse after taking that final step? I want to know that this is the right decision.
Very easy procedure and no lasting effects for me. It's liberating to not worry about the oops baby so it's worth it
Had mine 2 years ago and no regrets whatsoever! For a few months it felt weird to ya know “go off” but it’s all good after that. Mind you I’m deathly afraid of needles, to the point the Xanax they gave me before didn’t kick in until after so that was an adventure. You’ll be fine though
Yeah that "ache" on orgasm for the first couple months was annoying but it doesn't last and eventually stops.
Don't do it. Spread your seed.
That’s how I feel. If we were meant to stop at a certain age that’s how it would be. A bigger point to me is what if your old lady leaves you or dies. If you then want to get with a chick who wants a kid, then you can’t. Never say never cause women will do it right when you think they won’t. Also, you say you don’t want more kids now, but if they turn out shitty or she takes them from you, you might want to try with new chick. Tell her to get her tubes tied or just put it somewhere else.
In my case, if my dad had it done I wouldn't be here. Mom had me at 44.
I had this done almost 16 years ago. I never looked back. As others have said, go back and get it checked, to make sure it worked.
My doctor had my wife sign a paper stating that she agreed with my decision. That's the biggest thing: if you and your wife are both sure that you don't want any more kids. If that's solid, then this is a no brainer.
Pro tip: marry a woman with high risk of ovarian cancer so that she has to get the surgery after 35. (Don't actually seek that out... just the situation I find myself in.) She's 32 now so unlikely that I'll ever get the snip.
Mid 30s and baby number two is about 3 months old. My wife is pushing for the vasectomy and she bad enough health issues after birth for it to make sense to stop having kids, but the sense of permanency even though it can be reversed is just too much for me right now. This thread is very relevant in my life lately.
Got it done when I got divorced. Had the snip at 9 was at work sitting on frozen peas at 11 (database admin, no physical effort). It's really not big deal. The numbing shot is the worst part.
The timing of this topic is perfect for me as my wife just asked me last week about getting it done this summer so she can get off the pill. We've been together 20 years and never once considered having children so I agreed to have it done and I definitely will not regret this decision. Go Blue!
Dude have children that is the main point of life.
I don’t understand the logic behind having surgery to take a properly functioning part of the body and purposely damage it. There’s nothing wrong with you. Why are you having surgery?
Also, if you’re worried about your wife not being able to use birth control, look up the Creighton method or other options for Natural Family Planning. These methods are 98+% effective and don’t require any chemicals, barriers, or surgeries.
Rumpleforeskin would like a word with you.
Terrible idea. Don't do it.
Do it!
Went for kid number two and ended up with twins. I had the snip done before they were even out of the NICU.
Easy procedure, was sore for a couple days, but that’s it. No remorse at all.
I worked as an aid in an OR a couple summers while in college and would advise you to shave your own balls (well) before going in lest you want a kid who barely has to ever shave his face showing up with a single blade razor and a bottle of Betadine to do it for you.
I imagine that would be a pretty traumatic experience.
Oh yeah, shaving before hand was probably the worst part of the whole thing
Pull out bruh, that’s half the fun.
Wouldn't hesitate to do it again. I'm only 39 but that's too old for me to be raising another human.
My girl knows I will never do this. It's understood.
If you are not sure you want the surgery, cancel it until you are sure one way or the other. Seems like the obvious way to treat elective surgery.
I liked the procedure so much I had it done TWICE. It is such a simple in office local anesthetic procedure that I felt it stupid for my wife to unnecessarily take a drug, birth control, for decades. The entire story could be a diary post, but I will give you the short of it.
Had it done after our 2nd daughter, no big deal. Wife was on board. My wife was in the room (she is a surgery tech). Did not get tested to prove it worked. Simple plumbing right? Not so fast my friend! Had a 3rd daughter. Cannot imagine life without her but I went and had it done again, because we were done. All 3 kids were colicky. I went back and got tested this time.
moral of the story: get tested post op
Just don't over due it. I'm a mechanic and after a week I over did it and at work and had a situation. My boys were the size of a grapefruit and dark purple. Very painful had to have them drained.
I had mine done over Labor Day weekend a few years ago. It was a bag or frozen peas and a lot of football watching.
After 5 boys, it was a good decision. We waited until the youngest was 2 before making our decision. No buyers remorse and everything still works fine.
Had mine done last November, never needed any peas, went to work the next day, but I work in an office. Once I decided I wanted it, I wanted it right away so the only day this Dr had open left in 2018 (because he only does them on Thursdays) was ironically on my 15th wedding anniversary. (Our wedding was on the bye week, 2003)
My wife had also had difficult pregnancies with gestational diabetes every time and risk of preeclampsia so both girls were C sections a few weeks early, and we had several miscarriages before our first, in between kids, and then one last time with twins we lost after we started telling people we were having them.
It just seemed like it would risk her health now that we are both over 45 and her pre-menopause made her cycles erratic for the first time in her life, she was always every 28 days exactly before recently.
The shaving myself was tough, never did that before, had a hundred little nicks that didn't really hurt until I was all done and realized how bad of a job I did. It tried using a trimmer first, I don't recommend it, just use a razor and plenty of cream.
On the table in the Dr's Office, he had said my right one was a little further back than normal. Didn't even feel the left one, but that right one sent pain up into my stomach that made me yell out loud. My hands started tingling, I got very dizzy, but I was laying down and I didn't pass out. I think I went through a mild form of shock. They gave me orange juice when I sat up and I had uncontrollable emotions for like 15 mins after it was all over. Took a nap when I got home and then I was fine.
I think mine was more difficult than most especially the way my older brother described his, and some other friends. Even though all of that was out of the ordinary it was very temporary but more than just some mild discomfort.
I was sore for a few weeks, maybe even a month, it would kinda feel like a slight kick in the sack every now and then for no reason that I could tell, but now that is gone and there is no difference at all from before the procedure.
I just haven't taken a sample to be tested yet, though I'm glad I read this today. Tomorrow I plan to work from home anyway, so it's a good day to take care of that. :)
SO that's way TMI but this was also therapeutic for me. By all means, go for it, you won't regret it and it is unlikely it will be as tough as mine was.
March 25th, 2019 at 10:01 PM ^
Our story sounds similar to yours. 10 lost pregnancies, one was a fully grown, full term still birth who had a name and a fully furnished and decorated nursery, and now her urn sits in our bedroom with a memorial. We were blessed with twins, but it was about as high risk a pregnancy as you could imagine, both for the mother and the babies.
March 25th, 2019 at 10:17 PM ^
Just read this post after my last. So sorry for your experience but so happy about your twins. I remember your comments here when they arrived. Mirrors our own experience with our daughter/son in law. We totally get all the ups & downs/dynamics involved. We’ve been there.
Blessings to you and your beautiful, ordained from above, family.
March 25th, 2019 at 10:01 PM ^
Sometimes. But it’s fleeting. My wife and I have four kids between us, would have liked to had a child with her, but it’s so nice now that the kids have grown, (ages 12, 15, 17,21). Going back to trials and tribulations of early parenting would be rough, but it’s still fun to think about.
March 25th, 2019 at 10:09 PM ^
Brutus - I’ve noted you haven’t been real active here lately but with the newborns I’m sure you have more to do then peruse MgoBlog.
No worries with your procedure prior or after. Get it done & don’t look back. We need your input here... eventually. 8~)
March 25th, 2019 at 10:21 PM ^
I have two boys, and we decided that was enough. So I had mine about a year ago. A good decision for many reasons. It's actually been even better in the bedroom. No more fumbling for condoms or messing with her hormones. And if she gets hers snipped, it's major surgery (and insta-menapause). You, on the other hand, are in and out in 30 minutes. And are basically back to yourself in a few days. (3 days on the couch, 4 more light duty)
As others have said, it isn't instantaneous. You need to keep up your protection until the doc gives you the all clear. (Usually a few weeks to a month.)
The only downside? The scars aren't that cool.
March 25th, 2019 at 10:24 PM ^
Best. Decision. Ever.
I am done making new humans. Done with bottles. And car seats. And diapers.
DONE. D-O-N-E.
(All in all - bit of a pain in the balls, couple rough days, WELL WORTH IT)
March 25th, 2019 at 10:40 PM ^
No regrets. Two children and we were quite sure that we were satisfied with that. Wife's doctor indicated that she should no longer take birth control so it was a no-brainer for me. Much easier process for me than having the wife have tubes tied. Can't remember what our ages were but likely either late 30s or early 40s.
My parents had been hinting that we should have more kids, but that was simply that they adored our kids. Sorry, not a factor. We're fine waiting for grandchildren.
March 25th, 2019 at 10:48 PM ^
By far, the worst part for me was taking the samples in to see if there were any swimmers left. The Quest worker looked disgusted when I whispered my answer to her question of 'what was in the bag?'
That sounds like a horribly unprofessional lab tech. I've had to give many samples after years of fertility treatments and if someone had treated me like that we would have left and never come back to that clinic.
I'd love to see the look on her face when she has to show someone to the bathroom with the 1970s Penthouse magazines for the guys who provide the sample on site.
March 25th, 2019 at 10:53 PM ^
Thank the Lord for my wife, a planned cesarean and a tubal ligation all in one stop.
Masochist much?
March 25th, 2019 at 11:12 PM ^
March 25th, 2019 at 11:38 PM ^
Worst decision ever. Procedure was a breeze. After took 4 10 mg of torodol over 24 hour period. Ended up with Sudden Sensineural hearing loss (rare side effect of torodol). Hearing thankful came back but have had Tinnitus (ears ringing - all day every day with no cure). After sharing my story with a friend, he told me he had 7 years of pain following his snip each time he and the Mrs bumped ugglies.
March 26th, 2019 at 12:14 AM ^
When I saw the title I thought this would be about circumsisions.
I thought it would be about getting rid of cable! I managed to read the whole thread, but there was a lot of squirming.
Had mine done about 15 years ago after #4. After numbing and the small incision, the doc had some small contraption that actually held the vas deferens in order for him to do the "snip and seal". Suddenly, I hear the contraption collapse and doc said, "OOPS! Everything fell out!" Definitely not something you want to hear at that time!
What he meant was the vas deferens slipped out of the holding contraption and he just needed to fish around again to get it back in place. Being totally numb in the nether regions, upon his sudden exclamation, I thought my scrotum had split wide open and my family jewels had just rolled off the table and under the cabinet against the wall.
While it was essentially a simple and relatively painless procedure, my wife said I came out of the room as white as a ghost. I let her drive home and found a small bag of frozen blueberries that proceeded to leak a reddish-purple stain on the crotch of my underwear which freaked me out the first time I looked down to take a leak a few hours later!
After calming down a second time that day, I switched to frozen peas and had no further issues. Most definitely go back and have a sample checked to make sure you don't have any lazy swimmers left behind in the gene pool.
Interesting fact: the Catholic Church won't accept men as Deacons (usually these are married men) if they've had a vasectomy.
Do you know how this is rule enforced? Just curious. Because I'm not giving my medical records OR supplying a sample to the church.
Well people who lie on the paperwork to the Church to become Clergy...their career probably won't end well if that's how it starts
I had it done and have not regretted it at all. Almost a year now.
However, if you have reservations about the long-term commitment, why don't you hold off for a couple years and revisit? There's lots of other birth control that is almost 100% effective if you use two methods.
When the smoke rises, you will here millions of tiny screams!!!
I have 4 kids (2 year old twins) I have no remorse. It was not as bad as people make it sound!
This will never get read, but 3 kids later and coming up on my mid30s....one of my top 10 purchases in my life
I read it. Appreciate the feedback