Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me To MSU Edition
Welp its here. My least favorite of the season, State week. Lets hear your best efforts in this weeks "Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me to."
My leadoff:
Win will cause me to: Start peeking at prices in Pasadena
Loss will cause me to: Angrily mumble that the Citrus Bowl is fine
Northwestern was a lackluster effort from the quarterback and the commenters but there were a few good entries. The 15 yard cross field out on a line of entries came from Victors2000.
Washington Winner:
Win will cause me to: Have a nice big pour of Basil Hayden, open all the windows, and blast the fight song.
Loss will cause me to: Shut off all the lights, still a big pour of Basil Hayden, and then probably wont leave the house for a week or so.
NIU Winner:
Win will cause me to: get irrationally excited about a less daunting B1G schedule than anticipated
Loss will cause me to: look under the bed for Rocky Lombardi
Rutgers Winner:
Win: I'll take a big steamy dump
Loss: same as a win but it will be in my pants
Wisconsin Winner:
Win: take back all the mean things I’ve said about the coach with respect to the Rutgers gameplan
Loss: rip my soul into seven pieces and having those seven piece latch onto 7 random objects so I can liver forever in pain and agony
Nebraska Winner:
Win: Jump up and down like Pat Fitzgerald did on the 2013 sideline vs Michigan moments before his soul left his body.
Loss: Officially change my name to CORNelius Karo, and then start a speaking tour of American high schools across the land persuading and encouraging kids, and anyone who will listen, to adopt a high corn, high carb, high fructose corn-syrup diet until parents lash out in anger, beat me up and run me out of town on a rail.
Northwestern Winner:
Losing will cause me to: Grind my teeth and go in search of my mouth guard, all the while bemoaning the upcoming jeers of the Sparties as 'State week' ramps up, and worrying about the State game...
Winning will cause me to: Be happy and turn my thoughts *finally, officially* to State week, with my psyche in shape, and somehow, unambiguously, held high as well.
October 31st, 2021 at 11:50 AM ^
October 29th, 2021 at 11:18 PM ^
Win: Celebrate happily and feel there just may be hope.
Lose: Realize the world sucks ass and all hope is abandoned
October 29th, 2021 at 11:19 PM ^
Win will cause be to breathe a sigh of relief
a loss will cause me to say we are 7-1.
October 29th, 2021 at 11:33 PM ^
A win will cause me to walk into work Monday singing the victors and nod and smile at every fucking sparty asshole in the place.
A loss will cause me to pray for another year long lockdown.
October 29th, 2021 at 11:52 PM ^
A win will cause me to celebrate with a martini.
A loss will cause me to drown my sorrows in a martini.
I guess I have a nice 5:00 happy hour either way.
October 30th, 2021 at 12:18 AM ^
A win will cause me to get a boost of energy to finish some work assignments I slacked on this week while obsessing over this game.
A loss will cause me to say fuck that work and fuck working weekends and fuck that job and fuck, fuck, fuck…
October 30th, 2021 at 12:22 AM ^
Win will cause me to: Recall that Sparty tears taste like Sugar.
Loss will cause me to: Wonder why my tears taste like Citrus.
(This of course assumes we are eligible for the Citrus Bowl this year.)
October 30th, 2021 at 12:36 AM ^
We are not losing to this bullshit Sparty team.
October 30th, 2021 at 12:44 AM ^
Win will cause me to bask in one more week of the blissful delusion that we can beat OSU.
Loss will cause me to ignite wool doused in lighter fluid and shove it up my own ass.
October 30th, 2021 at 12:50 AM ^
A win will cause me to fret over the remaining games but be happy.
A loss will make feel like a sad panda but will have me thinking Harbaugh should make JJ the starter for the remainder of the season and see how many more games we can win.
October 30th, 2021 at 1:05 AM ^
Win: Celebrate that the war of Helms Deep is over, but the Battle for Middle Earth (Big Ten Conference) has begun.
Loss: Get lit on fire and run, a good half a mile it seemed, to dive bomb off Gondor. "So Passes Denethor, son of Ecthelion"
October 30th, 2021 at 2:21 AM ^
A win will cause me to devour every college football-related post on MGoBlog and obsessively check the board for new posts.
A loss will cause me to avoid MGBlog entirely for at least a week.
October 30th, 2021 at 2:42 AM ^
If we win, I will grab my 4x6 UM flag from the holder and take a stroll past our obnoxious Sparty loving neighbor’s house.
if we lose, I will remove the UM flag from the holder, draw the blinds and only leave the house under cover of darkness to avoid the obnoxious Sparty loving neighbor.
October 30th, 2021 at 4:23 AM ^
Win: Cackle with knowing glee.
Loss: Is not an option.
October 30th, 2021 at 5:07 AM ^
A win will cause me to smugly complain that burning couches accelerates global warming and depletes valuable natural resources
A loss will cause me to wanna burn the effing planet
October 30th, 2021 at 5:07 AM ^
A win will cause me to smugly complain that burning couches accelerates global warming and depletes valuable natural resources
A loss will cause me to wanna burn the effing planet
October 30th, 2021 at 6:35 AM ^
Win will cause me to: forget what a shit week this was and consider that the football gods may actually be coming back around on Michigan.
Loss will cause me to: hang my hat on the fact that I can at least count on Tom Brady for football joy. Oh, and probably drink more than I would have with a win.
October 30th, 2021 at 7:42 AM ^
Win. Inevitable loss to OSU and the bowl game. Loss, not surprised called it weeks ago. Loss to OSU and the bowl game.
October 30th, 2021 at 7:52 AM ^
Win: Make harassing phone calls to a certain subset of green-clad clients
Loss: Raise prices on said subset of green-clad clients
October 30th, 2021 at 8:58 AM ^
Win will cause me to: watch the game
Loss will cause me to: not watch the game
My body doesn't do well with the stress levels that come on in these rivalry games. As much as I tell myself not to get too emotionally invested, I always get really stressed in these games. I will bury my head in the sand until the game is mostly over and then determine if I'm going to watch it on replay or not.
Let's go blue!
October 30th, 2021 at 9:49 AM ^
Win: Accidentally eat all the Halloween candy in unbridled joy and without regard for my poor pancreas.
Loss: Purposefully eat all the Halloween candy so as to deprive the neighborhood Sparty trick-or-treaters. They've got a lifetime of disappointment and playing second fiddle ahead of them anyhow; might as well start now.
October 30th, 2021 at 10:06 AM ^
Win will cause me to: Run straight toward Lucy and the football.
Loss will cause me to: it’s Juwan Howard time.
October 30th, 2021 at 10:42 AM ^
This is the make or break game. Win today and I take back wanting harbaugh fired and admit I was wrong calling for his job. A win today would almost guarantee at least 10 wins which considering preseason expectations would be pretty impressive. Lose this game and my point continues to be proven. He cant win big games and he’s an overrated coach. He will lose to Penn state and Ohio state and we will end up 9-3 at best and I want him launched out of a cannon. Did I mention this is his make or break game?