WAY OT - Trying to help my father-in-law find a kidney
Hey guys, I'm not sure that this is an appropriate post, but I decided it was worth a shot. Mods, feel free to delete it if it's not OK.
Here's the story: My father-in-law has a hereditary disease known as focal segmental glomerular sclerosis. The disease affects the kidneys and he has slowly been losing kidney function over time. He's now down to 11% function and, if he doesn't find a kidney asap, he'll be forced to go on dialysis. He might have to go on dialysis regardless, but getting a kidney would extend his life significantly.
My wife and I made a Facebook page to get the word out and to (*fingers crossed*) find a donor. If you guys could like the page and share it, I'd be SO hugely appreciative. And if some brave Michigan man or woman out there is willing to donate...well, needless to say I'd be forever in your debt.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Again, I know that we generally don't do solicitations on this board, but since this is life or death I figured it was worth a shot.
I feel terrible for your Father in Law and I really hope he finds a kidney.
That being said, this isn't the place for this kind of post
I'll take the negs to voice my opinion. The OP is trying to help out the FATHER of his WIFE. We have all been forced to read stuff that the MODS refuse to delete which is more stupid than a son-in-law trying to help out his wife's dying father. If you are a part of this community, you should strive to be a better human than this. As someone who just had a niece pass away after being alive for six days, if I could have posted or done anything to save her life, I would have. This is a person who is trying to do everything they can and you response is sorry, BUT? Take that shit attitude over to RCMB or 11 Warriors.
I would upvote this comment if I could.
Why not? If the right person reads it, a life might be saved.
I understand that this is a sports blog, but we're also human.
There are so many people with so many life experiences and different levels of knowledge and expertise...this is absolutely a great place to post this.
His father in law is desperate dude...what the fuck is wrong with you?
Darker Blue is getting darker and darker as the years wear on - like a modern day His Dudeness.
I donated my own to my father last January. The improvement to my dad's health was amazing and it only cost me 6 weeks of recovery which was hard to do with a pregnant wife, two young kids and a new job (and being poor in general). However, I did it and my wife and I don't regret it at all.
My point is that there are many who are capable and so please consider the great gift it would be. I am living a perfectly normal life with one kidney. It is a sacrifice but one that saves lives! And there are resources for those that do this and go on short-term disability. Money became a non-factor.
If you find any extras, I need one too.
I might be able to sell you one, ya know if the price is right
I'm so sorry man.
This actually reminds me of a super important fact: You don't necessarily have to find a compatible donor. If you find somebody willing to donate who is incompatible with you but is compatible with ANOTHER person in need, they can switch the donations around to match compatibility.
That is correct. UofM has been really good everything so far.
True - my brother in law just had a kidney transplant 2 weeks ago. Living donor with I think 4 people involved. 2 1/2 hours after they started surgery we were meeting with the surgeon. Surgery late Thursday and the threw him out Sunday night. He's already driving himself to his appointments.
Sorry to hear about your situation, but never apologize for doing all you can for your family and those you care about. It’s better to live with people getting upset about a post like this, than regretting doing all you can. Family over everything.
I always found it strange that it isn't fair to pay someone $30K for their kidney, but it's fair for a doctor to charge you $30k to attach it to your body. Realistically they probably charge 4X that amount.
EastCoast - my brother is head of transplant at U of WI-Madison Hospitals and is the chief kidney transplant surgeon there. He is world class or better. He's done a million of them (kidneys and pancreas). If you'd like to talk to him on the best approach, I can put you in touch. Give me a call or text at 9 5 2 . 2 1 0 . 4 0 9 4. If I don't pick up, leave a message and I'll call you back.
MODS: please bump this post to the top, it's already off the front page because of numerous nonsense "Ed Cooley" threads.
Not the place for "give me and my family charity" type posts
If the mods are okay with it being posted on THEIR site, then who are you to say its not appropriate?
If the mods are ok with me posting my opinion on THEIR site, then who are you to say my opinion is not appropriate.
You were matter of factly. Start off with "In my shitty opinion..." and maybe you would have a point.
Welcome to an internet message board. You can assume anything someone says here is a shitty opinion.
Nah...it's mostly you.
"No u"
Good luck to you and your family. As someone who donated a kidney four months ago, this is a topic near and dear to me. All I can add to this is a PSA about being screened and tested:
If you are a healthy candidate, you may also be able to set a chain in motion. In our case I was screened to donate to our friends' son. I wasn't a match, but I was judged an excellent donor candidate. Fast forward a couple months... A police officer who was screened but not a match donated to a man he didn't know. That man's wife, who planned to donate to him, was a perfect match for our friend's son. As part of the chain my kidney went to a delightful woman who happens to be an OSU fan but was willing to accept a kidney from a "Michigan Man" because it saved her life. Her brother-in-law is the next to donate in the chain. And that chain doesn't even count those who moved up the deceased donor list because our recipients were all taken off. The impact of one decision (to be screened) can touch many, many lives.
Thought I would just mention some things that you may not know. I am a surgeon in the metro Detroit area that has experience with transplant.
Get in every list he can. This includes the High risk list - these kidneys are functionally superior to any other kidney he will get matched unless you know someone who will donate and are healthy. Think your stay at home wives in West Bloomfield who are being naughty at home. Or young people who overdose. It can also be a sex worker. All together the risk of any disease transmission is very low and worth the risk. We scan all the kidneys for HIV and Hepatitis, for instance.
If able, move. Move to a place where he is eligible for the highest population possible - unless you have the means to travel at the drop of a dime anywhere in the US. For instance, metro Detroit has a slight disadvantage of being next to Canada - you lose that radius for potential donors to the east - but somewhere like Tennessee wouldn’t.
Look for paired donors - another poster mentions it. If someone in your family is willing to do a living donation, you can often find another family to swap with.
a last little thing. He must optimize his health. We do not like operating on patients who we feel are at a higher risk of complications or graft failure. Blood pressure, glucose levels, BMI, etc etc all must be tip top through the whole process. If we get a kidney match and you show up at the hospital 40 pounds heavier and an A1C of 15 - we will cancel the case and find a more suitable candidate. Same goes for donors.
Hope this helps - good luck!
On mobile, didn’t proofread!
Thank you 4545, this is very good to know. I'll make sure to pass along the advice.
He Needs a Kidney:
"This country has 600 million kidneys,
And we really only need half.
That leaves about 300 million kidneys, do the math."
No harm in asking ...
Best of luck to your father-in-law, you and your wife, family, etc.
I was born w/ a genetic kidney disease and was lucky enough to find a living donor (transplant will be 5 years in October), and, if asked, I recommend doing exactly what you're doing --
It's a numbers game get the word out and ask others to get the word out for you. It's simple, validated math: the more people aware of your situation, the more likely you'll find a potential donor, whether direct or part of a chain.
Anyone on this board who thinks this is inappropriate -- an appeal that can actually, for real, save a life -- is more myopic than I already think too many people on this board are.
Thank you for the support bluepdx.
And I'm so glad to hear that things have worked out for you!