Way OT: Alpha Test (Very Much NOT Neck Sharpies)

The Cast:

Gary:  Best stormtrooper in [Robot Chicken's version of] a galaxy far, far away.  Freak athlete but a tad raw.
Abby:  Abby Normal, I think that was the name.
Moe:  Do not mess with your neighborhood bartender.
Winnie:  Lovable yellow furball who loves to chase things and give them big bear hugs.  D'awwww
Hudson:  The ultimate badass! State of the badass art!
Bush:  Faster than he looks.
Cray:  Giant mutant blue crayfish, thumpin' strong but a tad slow on his feet.

Our intrepid heroes have been hired to recover a stolen attaché case (chock full of MacGuffins!) from a gang of faceless goons.  They intercept the goons as the latter approach their transportation, in a field about 50m wide and covered in grass for some reason.  Weapons would really help here but for some reason everyone is unarmed, maybe it's a Kamurocho vacant lot or something.

The bigger goons line up to form a wall, ready to stop anyone from getting through.  In a snap, the one in the middle (Goon 55) then tosses the case to his buddy behind him, Goon 17.  All hell breaks loose.  (Roll for initiative.)

At the start of combat, the big goons except for the center one are in a defensive stance called sweep counter which allows them to attack anyone moving within their reach (~1m).

With initiative 26, Moe goes first and tries to create confusion by moving around Goon 55.  Goons 60 & 71 unleash their sweep counters in response.  60 whiffs; 71 hits Moe with a bull rush but loses the contest -- he fails to drive Moe backward, but Moe's movement is stopped.

Goon 13 is next and gets a clever idea.  He walks a few meters across Goon 17 and uses a delayed action called interfere (read target) -- he grips the case (17 lets him -- they're buddies after all) and will sprint if 17 lets go.

Cray is next and tries to move past the line.  60 spent his sweep counter so 65 is forced to intervene with his; he sidesteps into the way, bull rushes Cray and wins handily, knocking Cray back a couple meters.

Goon 60 is next; he steps up to grapple Cray and. . . misses.  These goons are not very good at their jobs.  Gary and Winnie are next.

Gary runs around 54, triggering his sweep counter (a bull rush) that misses.  Gary makes it to Goon 17 and tries to grapple on the move but barely misses.  Winnie shuffles forward a few meters and decides to interfere (read target), he'll watch the case and tackle (sprint + grapple) whoever takes off with it.  This is an unusual and borderline abusive usage of the interfere action but since the case is in plain view, as GM I'll allow it.  Abby goes right at 71 with a bull rush and knocks him back a couple meters.  Bush briefly glances around, sees two guys holding the case and chaos up the middle, so he moves behind Winnie to flank the goons.

It's finally Goon 17's turn and he sees Gary all up in his grill (don't need to glance to see that) so he lets go, triggering 13's sprint, and books it straight ahead.  But Winnie's trigger is seeing Goon 13 take off with the case so he get to try tackling 13.  Winnie hits and easily wins the grapple (Goon 13 can't use his arms because he's holding the case), opting to knock Goon 13 prone.  Goon 13's sprint is disrupted.  Big bear hug!

Goon 13 has yet to hit the turf so let's resolve a few more actions.  Goon 65 takes a step, hits Bush with a grapple and wins decisively.  Hudson glances and runs past Goon 54 to flank the other side.  Goon 55 tries to grapple Moe and whiffs badly.  Moe gets annoyed and bull rushes 55, pushing him back a meter.  Goon 13's next and he's out of the fight, so let's just say a zebra runs in making high-pitched noises and everyone stops to gawk, ending the fight.

This all looks familiar.

What are you talking about, I could swear I did a mission similar to this in Yakuza 0.  What's Brian's bolded alter ego doing here, anyway?

I'm not Brian's alter ego, I'm yours.

What, is this sort of thing contagious?  Am I OK?  Get out of my head!

Don't change the subject.  What is this, really?

Well, as long as you're asking, it's a stress test of sorts.  I'm working on a tabletop RPG system and this is actually very far removed from its design intentions, which is ironically the point.  Tabletop RPGs are sometimes called "reality simulators", and deliberately picking a scenario that's extremely weird is a good way to find out how robust the rules are.

Result, FWIW:  Eh.  Was more complicated than I would've liked; I left out a lot of detail for brevity.  I did make a few minor corrections (65 pushing Cray back that far without moving is a problem) and Winnie's interfere action almost broke the game.  Had to make an ad hoc GM call for that.  But it's also highly unlikely in a "normal" fight, and this is why we test, so I don't feel too bad.  Conventional fights should be simpler.

Isn't this a ToS violation?

I hope not.  The game is nowhere near ready for prime time so I'm not really plugging anything yet; the system doesn't even have an official title.  I just figured, since I'm going to be testing the crud out of these rules anyway I could have some fun and share it.  As it's OT I made it a message board topic, not a diary.  I also tried to at least make it a relatable exercise.  I mean, coincidentally!  Ahem, all characters portrayed in this simulation are fictious and any resemblance to real --

Yeah, yeah, we get it.  WTF is wrong with you, don't you know there's breaking news?

I do.  Sorry, I know the timing is not ideal.  I'd rather not compete with the latest news (would rather the bad stuff didn't happen at all) but this was my last chance before real footbaw to post something OT completelyunrelatedtofootballIswear, the system wasn't ready for testing until now, and I wasn't going to delay testing a full year.  So it was now or never, even if Harbaugh offered a Kardashian.

Grumble grumble I coach Smurf league football this is not realistic I have pedantic corrections

Again, this is not Tabletop Football Simulator.  For what it's worth, the actual game takes place in a lethal, modern setting with paranormal elements.  Cyberpunk, in other words, although backwards-in-time compatibility will be included.  So if it can handle footb. . . uh, inexplicably unconventional melee tactics without imploding into an incoherent pile of dice rolls and combat modifiers. . . I'll take it.

You're missing receivers and secondary.

It could've worked but 14 combatants in a bizarre brawl was complicated enough.  22, gimme a break.  I mean, what are talking about?  Completely unrelated!  But relatable for coincidental reasons!  But I hope you had fun reading it.

Personally, I did not.

(sniff)