Theory: Iowa's defense contributes to their offense being so bad

It contributes, but not in the way you laid out.  

Elite defense and bad coaching + execution on offense leads to even more uber-conservative strategy on offense.  Don't take risks, take what the defense gives you, punt, hope for a turnover, rinse and repeat.  When that "don't lose us the game" offensive strategy leads to (relative) team success, it becomes more deeply engrained as part of their culture and trickles through into recruiting, coaching hires, etc. 

They are not built to make explosive plays or play from behind, so when they are forced to it looks REALLY bad and makes their stats/metrics even worse.  So yes, having an elite D does make their offense worse.  

The guy who people have wanted fired for his putrid offense was coaching his last game for a school he loves, and didn't run a single trick play even though he had nothing to lose.  Even Lloyd let if loose against Florida in his last game.

you can address that by having your 1s on O go against your Def. 2s and 3s in practice.  You can make it a little less obvious by just rotating a lot of guys on defense during the practice.  However at some point you need to have your 1s go against your 1s.

It's not uncommon for one team to have one side of the ball be better than the other, but the disparity of Iowa's O and D this year was just nuts.

Iowas offense just needs to practice against USCs defense and they could both improve.

The starting defense and starting offense don’t play against each other all week. They work against their scout teams simulating what their opponents tend to run. They are just bad on offense because they are poorly coached on that side of the ball AND don’t have playmakers. Georgia’s dominant defense a couple years ago didn’t affect their offense, as they had good coaching AND good players. That said, why do we give a shit about Iowa?

The historic precedent for this is that players on Buddy Ryan’s Eagles teams had quipped that Buddy was so loving how his epically great D Line (Reggie White et al.) would run roughshod over the O during practices, the O was not in sync for the actual games. There is a definite tension there. 

But cmon. I-wa has no O bc (1) no talent and (2) shitty coaches. End stop. 

If that were true, then Iowa's OC would have already replaced Deacon Hill with a more threatening mobile QB Marco Lainez (true frosh) and created an extra blocker for Leshon Williams and Kaleb Johnson.

They would have also replaced all their dropsies WRs and TEs as well with other players.

But that's were the theory falls down.

Iowa doesn't have the players on offense to replace anyone because the Ferentz Bros were incompetent in recruiting offensive players and for years.  Phil Parker is not incompetent. He turns 3-stars and 2-star players into a cohesive monster on D always every year.

Here's the thing - Brian Ferentz's departure (firing) is 4 years too late.  Iowa would be a top 10 team with almost anyone else recruiting, installing and calling plays for their offense.

Here's what Iowa fans already know too:

Phil Parker is already 60.

Kirk Ferentz is 68.  Brian was supposed to take over for Kirk.  Like Mike DeBord in 2008. 

Iowa will never course correct their offensive recruiting approach unless a new OC comes in with very different ideas and a lot more authority.   I suspect Kirk will resent and control whoever it is he is being forced to hire to replace Brian.  

Yeah this is all nonsense.  Also the topic is not threadworthy.

This is nonsense, everybody knows that the best way to get better at something is to practice against someone better than you. By this logic Iowa's offense, by practicing against the best D in the country, is by far the best possible version it could be.