OT: stepdad in need of help navigating through stepkids' fandom

Submitted by Mr. Elbel on
Apologize ahead of time if formatting is crap. Posting on chrome app so I've found its usually a wall of text. Bear with me though. So, this is beyond random, but that's ok. I'm feeling down tonight because my future step-daughter just pulled out the "I think I like Ohio better than Michigan" stance on me. She along with their entire family are actually UVA fans. I tried to tell her that I really like how she likes UVA since that's where she's from. So. How do I navigate those waters? She's 9 years old and very bright. Her brother is 5 and likes UVA too. Dad hasn't been around for years now but I don't think he's an influence either way. I'm afraid to push UM at all for fear that it'll push her away. She likes me sometimes but is definitely still warming up to me. So what do I do? My fiancé could not care less about football but will watch and try to learn for my sake. I've only been with her for 2 years so I haven't had the opportunity to brainwash from the beginning. I feel like I've tried to not push it but this damn Ohio thing came out of nowhere. What do I do?
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FauxMo

September 26th, 2016 at 9:18 AM ^

There are two logical options here, in my mind:

1. What the above folks said. Take them to a UM game, and the amazing people and environment will seal the deal. 

2. If option 1. is somehow impossible, it could be just as good to take them to an OSU game. Once the kids get a sense for the incredibly high level of human filth that roots for that "university," they will naturally be repelled and sickened, and turn away and towards UM. 

Joined: 06/17/2010

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DLup06

September 25th, 2016 at 7:30 PM ^

She's testing you to see if you'll reject her for not being like you. Watch games with her. Cheer for Michigan, and when OSU is on, let her cheer for OSU without any ribbing. Give her the safety to know that you'll accept her no matter what, and even if she doesn't end up rooting for M, she'll at least know that you have her back even when you two disagree



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Joined: 01/05/2009

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abcdefghijklmnop

September 25th, 2016 at 9:40 PM ^

Agree with DLup.

Living in Wisconsin my own kids had a brief infatuation with the Packers at age 9. My wife and I ignored it, and eventually they came back to the Lions. If it can happen with the Lions-- it should be no problem for UM. Nurture over nature my friend.

Just don't buy her any enemy gear.

Joined: 09/15/2010

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goblue224

September 26th, 2016 at 9:45 AM ^

This advice is spot on, at lest in my experience. As the step-child in the situation, I can attest to this thought process. My step-dad didn't come into the picture until well after my Michigan fandom had formed and there was no way that would ever change. He wasn't (isn't) really a sports fan, but thought it was funny to root for MSU and OSU just to see what kind of reaction he could get out of me. Needless to say, that was the start of a lack luster and hateful relationship that now includes awkward family gatherings and complete silence when the two of us are anywhere near each other. Oh yeah, it dosen't help he's an asshole.

Joined: 09/28/2014

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Danwillhor

September 25th, 2016 at 7:41 PM ^

NEVER push it. You push it and they'll hate it. That's almost the rule with kids 8-18. You're not cool and never will be. At best she'll respect you one day (ha). Accept it if she never comes around but if she does it will be when she respects you.

Joined: 12/02/2008

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Jon06

September 25th, 2016 at 7:42 PM ^

I met my UGA-fan wife in 2010. She asked me if Michigan had ever been good a couple of years ago. They'll come around as Michigan reestablishes itself. Until then you shrug it off and quietly mention impressive Michigan facts as appropriate.

Joined: 09/19/2009

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Champ Kind

September 25th, 2016 at 7:42 PM ^

I agree with those that said take the family to a game. If they have another family day, go to that. If she meets some of the players, she will definitely root for them.

Joined: 01/02/2009

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drt

September 25th, 2016 at 7:45 PM ^

Stepfather of 14 years here. My stepson and stepdaughter were young when their mom and I got married and really didn't have any serious fandom. I took them to a game each season and bought them something M-related (cap, t-shirt, etc.). Went to basketball games, volleyball games, you name it. Watched games on the tv and invited them to join me for as long as they wanted. Didn't get too emotional for the losses (RichRod and Hoke years), and cheered when we won.

Fast forward to today, my stepson is a sophomore at Clemson and is a little torn at the prospect of a Clemson-UM final game. He LOVES Michigan now and texts/facetimes me every Saturday. My stepdaughter still cheers with me, wears Michigan gear, etc. My daughter is at MSU and still loves UM. For all of them, I just made it as fun as I could.

In general, you can't push stepkids into ANYTHING. It always backfires, in my (and several friends') experience. Just do everything you can to make it fun, and as they warm up to you, they'll warm up to Michigan.

Joined: 01/04/2011

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GoBlueNorth

September 25th, 2016 at 7:47 PM ^

We had an extra ticket yesterday and I gave it to a 30 year old co-worker who had never been to a game and thought he liked Notre Dame.....one game is all it took....he spent the ride home professing his new fandom!!! Go Blue!!

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LSAClassOf2000

September 25th, 2016 at 8:20 PM ^

It is surprising the number of people that have A) never been to Michigan Stadium despite, in the case of my neighbors, living 20 minutes from it, and B) have never really thought deeply about their fandom. Of course, coming from a house that bled maize and blue with a smattering of Indiana (my father), we were all highly engaged and heavily into it. 

I gave some tickets to a neighbor one time - someone who "grew up a Kentucky fan" (so he says, but I am downriver and it is entirely possible in this neck of the woods) - and he came back unable to stop talking Michigan. That's fine, because I couldn't either when he came back. 

Joined: 01/07/2011

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Wolfman

September 25th, 2016 at 7:50 PM ^

she's a girl so it's not like we're missing out on a future recruit. If you're the typical UM fan, she knows how to get under Step Daddy's skin. Just keep control of the remote and you'll be fine. 

Joined: 07/23/2008

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Glen Masons Hot Wife

September 25th, 2016 at 7:55 PM ^

make your own babies, its not too late bro, you're not locked in with this one yet... you can indoctrinate your own from day 1.

Joined: 07/02/2008

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crg

September 25th, 2016 at 7:57 PM ^

Be honest.  Tell her both are fine schools and have their respective strenghts and weaknesses.  Discuss culture, academics, global reputation, history.  Discuss how well the other sport's programs do at UM (including the stronger women's athletics).  Highlight how UM is a national/global university whereas most at OSU come from Ohio.

 And after she has a chance to thoughtfully digest the information, show the clip of Hayes punching the Clemson player.

Joined: 04/30/2015

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crg

September 25th, 2016 at 8:22 PM ^

"Fine" is what you say when you don't want to actually say anything bad.  Obviously, one school is much better than the other, but you have to let the young woman figure that out on her own.  Show her that Michigan Men/Women are thoughtful and open-minded and let her form her own opinions.  Trying to force UM fandom upon her will probably just cause more damage.

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