There are 3 things I cannot imagine ever happening: 1. humans living on Mars 2. Kim Kardashian quitting social media and 3. Jim Harbaugh getting fired. If you believe the first, you don't know science. If you believe the second you don't know ego and if you believe that last.. well keep reading. 

1. His record ain't that bad: No, he is not beating OSU; yes he is getting blown out more than we like, and yes the team can seem Downy soft at times. But his overall record is actually pretty decent. I can't imagine him ever going lower than 7-5 and most years will be around 10 wins. He's like Dwayne Johnson- not exciting but solid. 

2. He's not RR and Hoke: the nightmare... oh how it lingers- behind every door it waits, under every bed it growls. "Dare we try to reach for the sky again?" "No dear...IT could happen again, we can never go back to that house, we can never be sure if it really dead." Would you like some more peas Mr. Harbaugh? Stay as long as you like!

3. People are getting over the "OSU thing": just about every UM related message board has post after post like "They are just on another level now" and "We can't sacrifice our newborns for wins like they do" and "Do you want our coaches to become wife beating, student killing, walking ATM's like their coaches?" We have become a Scarlet and Grey AA group.

4. He does nice things for the students: Hey, what is college football really supposed to be about- sex, money and drugs? No (If you are a player reading this, go back to studying right now). Jim sends them on field trips to other countries, makes them not cheat in school, reads to them at night. Can you imagine Urban doing this without a court order? 

5. He looks great: c'mon- don't say this doesn't matter. JH isn't just a "Michigan Man" - he's the JFK version. Looks and image matter kiddo- there is a reason Jim is getting gigs for national commercials while falling on his face. His legion of fans would crush the university like a milk carton if it dared to fire him. Do you really want a red faced Notre Damish pumpkinish thing at the mic? Do you?

6. He is a nice guy: OK- this is a version of the "He does nice things" argument but I have a different argument in between so it's allowed. Ever listen to Jim? He just seems like a "nice" guy- all humble, gentlemanly, "oh have a beer on me"-ish. How do you fire a guy who criticizes himself and feels bad? Its like throwing a homemade Fathers Day card in the trash in front of your kid.

7. The University loves him: culturally, politically, socially, and existentially: Jim fits Michigan. Its as though the entire first floor of every building on campus should be painted Khaki. He is a true blue celeb in a blue, blue place. The legions will turn off NPR and scale the walls in silken scarves and lattes if he is threatened. This wouldn't matter if the other six points above weren't true- but they are!

8. What if he succeeds somewhere else after being fired?: Damn....well, damn

So there it is- my reasons. I really do not think he will be fired and will chug on as long as he wants, like the Little Khaki that Could. BTW- I realize that there are 8 reasons listed here in the post while my title states 7- this is an oh so clever trap to lure in the lazy person who doesn't read my post thoroughly and find this warning. Whack them like a mole at the State Fair if you see 'em in the comments section- free fun for you.

And NOT firing him may be the wisest course anyway- JH seems like the kind of coach who if he just gets LUCKy and finds the right QB- may take it all the way and prove them all wrong. And even if he doesn't- there might be a field trip to North Korea to look forward to.