Essentials

WHAT Michigan vs Bye Week, part two

WHERE from the comfort of your own home

WHEN FOX Big Noon Kickoff

THE LINE Michigan -3

TELEVISION BTN+

TICKETS everyone gets one if you want one

WEATHER warm, cozy, by the fire

Overview

Why are we playing these guys again? It isn’t even Bowl Week against Florida yet.

Last time we faced Bye Week it was tough sledding. After a grueling overtime game against Army (which no one expected and took us all one game too soon to the BPONE #whereisspeedinspace edition), Michigan was mentally exhausted after playing a triple option offense that Don Brown had to spend all offseason preparing for. An Army team that, despite the coaches thinking would be ranked, has turned out to be . . . not so good.

Against Bye Week, we saw more of the same Michigan team that muddled against Middle Tennessee. Bye Week stifled our run game, Josh Gattis and Shea Patterson forgot that Nico Collins exists downfield, and we had to eke out another close victory. And then we went into the Wisconsin game having to salvage our pride with two late game touchdowns. A Wisconsin that has now lost to Illinois, who may make it to a bowl this year thanks to Lovie's beard.

[after THE JUMP . . . why is Brian Kelly not purple anymore?]

At least Bye Week has also done very well against two of the other opponents on Michigan’s schedule.  It conjured up a rainstorm against Notre Dame the following week (in which Ian Book forgot how to pass), took the purple out of Brian Kelly’s face for a night, and ate up more than several of Michigan State’s players into the transfer portal and PED suspensions.

Michigan State lost to Bye Week. TWICE.

Run Offense

KEY MATCHUP: TRUUUUUUUU.

Pass Offense

KEY MATCHUP: PASS IT DOWNFIELD PLSSS.

Pass Defense

KEY MATCHUP: CAM MCGRONE FOR HEISMAN.

Run Defense

KEY MATCHUP: WE HAVE UCHE. THAT'S MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH.

Special Teams

KEY MATCHUP:  AHHHH YOU PUT IT THROUGH THE UPRIGHTS.

Intangibles

Keep your wife happy by taking her shopping.

Here’s what to expect: https://mgoblog.com/diaries/preview-wifeday-2010

Cheap Thrills

Worry if. . .

• Wifey starts listing out all the shopping (you have) she has to do.
• You’re bad at cleaning out gutters or moving the lawn. Even if John U. Bacon keeps prematurely telling you to.
• Bye Week starts breaking out the crossing routes and we’re playing man coverage.

Cackle with knowing glee if. . .

• James Franklin makes another critical, late game coaching error.
• P.J. Fleck, fresh off a brand spankin’ new contract, rows the boat to a great victory against State Penn and makes the absurd Michigan-to-Indy scenarios a tad more likely.
• Iowa-Wisconsin turns out to be a defensive slog that makes you hate (and love) everything Big Ten about the Big Ten.

Fear/Paranoia Level (1): (Baseline: 5; -4 for we beat these guys once we'll beat them again.)

Desperate need to win level (9): (Baseline: 5; +4 for Bye Week already beat Little Brother twice)

Loss will cause me to. . . quiver in fear at the prospect of Michigan State’s quarterbacks coming to the Big House.

Win will cause me to. . . continue to make fun of Scott Frost.

The strictures and conventions of sportswriting compel me to predict:

Michigan stays healthy, keeps working at blending Gattis spread concepts into Harbaugh’s power-run playbook, and soars into a fun three(four)-game stretch to end the season.

Finally, three opportunities for me to look stupid Sunday:

• Chase Young gets magically unsuspended at 11:59 AM ET, moments before The Game.
• Coach D makes his last stand and empties out the remaining trick plays from the “For Michigan’s Eyes Only” section of his playbook.
• Purdue-Northwestern tickets are $3 each. Illinois-Michigan State $6. . . let’s just say those games aren’t gonna be gud.