The Big Ten has released their all-conference teams and awards, and as usual we are baffled and opinionated.

WHAT THE HELL?

Ace: Sorry, sorry, I realize that isn’t a specific question.

Seth: No it is the appropriate response. "Lol" is the only other conceivable one.

Brian: I think we have to start having basketball coaches watch basketball. This thing where they don't do that isn't working out.

Seth: Here are their selections, fwiw:

COACHES

Player of the year/DPoY in bold, *means he wasn’t a media selection.

Pos.	1st Team	2nd Team	3rd Team	Hon. Mention	All-Defense
PG	Ayo Dosnumu Illinois	Joe Wieskamp Iowa	Marcus Carr Minnesota	Jordan Bohannon Iowa	Jamari Wheeler Penn State
G	EJ Liddell Ohio State	Isaiah Livers Michigan	D'Mitrik Trice Wisconsin	Trent Frazier Illinois	Trent Frazier Illinois
W	Trevion Williams Purdue	Franz Wagner Michigan	Duane Washington Ohio State	Eric Ayala Maryland	DARRYL MORSELL Maryland
F	LUKA GARZA Iowa	Trayce Jackson-Davis Indiana	Aaron Henry MSU	Aaron Wiggins Maryland	Aaron Henry MSU
C	Kofi Cockburn Illinois	Hunter Dickinson Michigan	Ron Harper Jr. Rutgers	Geo Baker Rutgers	Myles Johnson Rutgers

Freshman of the Year: Hunter Dickinson, Michigan
6th Man: Andre Curbelo, Illinois
Coach of the Year: Juwan Howard, Michigan

MEDIA

Pos.	1st Team	2nd Team	3rd Team	Honorable Mention
PG	Ayo Dosnumu Illinois	Marcus Carr Minnesota	D'Mitrik Trice Wisconsin	Trent Frazier (IL), Jordan Bohannon (IA), CJ Fredrick (IA), Eric Ayala (UMD), Darryl Morsell (UMD), Aaron Wiggins (UMD), Teddy Allen (Neb), John Harrar (PSU), Myreon Jones (PSU), Myles Johnson (RU), Jacob Young (RU)
G	Trayce Jackson-Davis Indiana	Joe Wieskamp Iowa	Duane Washington Ohio State
W	LUKA GARZA	Isaiah Livers Michigan	Franz Wagner Michigan
F	Hunter Dickinson Michigan	EJ Liddell Ohio State	Aaron Henry MSU
C	Kofi Cockburn Illinois	Trevion Williams Purdue	Ron Harper Jr. Rutgers

Freshman of the Year: Hunter Dickinson, Michigan
Coach of the Year: Juwan Howard, Michigan

[We’ll talk about all of this at the jump. Spoiler: no, we can’t be bought off by giving Dickinson 1st team if that 1st team has four true centers]

All-Defense Team Without the Best Defender?

Ace: I need the media’s excuse for Franz Wagner being third team. At least coaches are busy watching their own team and scouting a specific opponent.

Brian: The coaches left Wagner off the all-defense team

Ace: THE CRIME OF THE CENTURY

Brian: I find that difficult to believe since I know most of them spent those two hours screaming "GODDAMMIT" about Wagner's gumby arms deflecting every other pass.

Ace: He’s my DPOY and I didn’t think it was close!

Brian: He's headed for the lottery and every evaluation talks about his defense first.

Ace: The advanced stats back me up on this even though he’s not a center and those guys dominate advanced defensive stats!

Seth: Yeah, every fanbase is mad when these things come out that their best defender isn't on the list, but this is a case where the NBA scouts are like "are you kidding me?!"

Matt EM: The only player in the conference that can plausibly defend 4 positions on any given night

Brian: This blows my mind.

Much will be (rightly) made about Franz being left off, but it goes even deeper than that: this is the 5th time in the last 7 years the all-defense team contained 0 players from the league's top defense https://t.co/NYNGY2TmMI

— David Lectka (@davidlectka) March 9, 2021

Ace: Giving it to Darryl Morsell was (1) some career achievement bullshit and (2) mostly based on one game where he limited Ayo Dosunmu.

BiSB: My theory: "All Defense Team" has become a proxy for "Guys Who Play For Teams that Feel 'Gritty' Because They Play Slow Painful Basketball"

Ace: This is bad, Big Ten. Very bad.

I'm reminded of the wise words of @m_bultman: "every conspiracy theory you have about postseason awards voters is true"

— David Lectka (@davidlectka) March 9, 2021

Brian: Myles Johnson clearly got picked because he's the worst offensive center amongst the good ones in the league.

Ace: Meanwhile, Illinois is the clear-cut #2 defense and you could argue their two best defenders were left off. I had Kofi Cockburn over Johnson.

Seth: Jamari Wheeler is a legitimately good defender. The thing is teams that are good at defense usually are so because...oh right...THEY HAVE GOOD DEFENDERS.

Ace: Yes, that gets to another thing. The voters seem to assume that being bad at offense makes a player better at defense instead of just a limited player.

Brian: You could make a case for either Cockburn, who was key in erasing the Michigan offense, or Dickinson, who shut down Garza, Jackson-Davis, and (to a somewhat lesser extent) Cockburn without requiring doubles.

Seth: I really need to know how high Joe Toussaint was on their boards now.

Ace: I think Cockburn is the clear choice but I’m also trying not to be too homer-y after handing Michigan most of the awards yesterday.

Brian: Johnson couldn't stay on the court in a ton of key games and that's a huge part of being a good defensive C.

Ace: I’m really glad you made that point. Availability is massive for a center. Same with not putting opponents on the line and not leaving your area to try to block shots. Johnson is a good defender but he comes up short in those spots.

Rutgers is a much, much worse defensive rebounding team than the top defenses in the conference.

BiSB: Johnson only averaged 4.0 fouls/40 minutes in conference play.

Ace: That’s a full foul more than Cockburn.

Seth: This year was so deep I don't think you have to make a case against any of the picks they made in order to argue they're terrible picks. NOBODY shut down Luka Garza until Hunter Dickinson, and Kofi Cockburn I think was better than Dickinson. Franz is one of the best defensive players this league's had in years. Just take the dang elites.

Matt EM: Part of the Johnson appeal is that he's such a massive upgrade defensively in relation to the the teams that field a 6'8 center + Iowa. So the choices are somewhat limited here, and the distinctions not that wide from a group of 4ish

Ace: He also wasn’t a clear-cut all-conference choice and the voters like spreading these things out. Which is stupid. Speaking of which, should we address how they handled positional designations?

The All-Big Ten Centers Team

Paint fight! [Campredon]

Seth: They'll play three centers on the all-Big Ten team but god forbid the all-defense team have a 7-footer.

Brian: Liddell is sort of a swing guy but it's really four centers given who played where.

Ace: The media was even worse by replacing Liddell with Trayce Jackson-Davis.

BiSB: If you call it the "All Big Ten TEAM," it feels like it should have to be an actual theoretical team. MLB doesn't start four shortstops in the All Star Game.

Brian: You've got a wing shooting 49% from three on big volume and you can't make room for him?

Ace: Meanwhile the tallest player on either all-B1G third team is Ron Harper Jr., who’s 6'6.

Matt EM: Personally, I don't mind the hypothetical player power rankings rather than staying true to positional designations. There are years such as the last two, where bigs are clearly the most impactful

Ace: Can we agree that it’s nuts for Wagner to be on the third team either way?

Seth: Yes!

Ace: Or the second team, for that matter.

Matt EM: I think there's probably a clear-cut Tier 1 of three players in the conference, and Franz is clearly in the second tier, and clearly a top 4-7 player in the conference. Second team at worst

Ace: And he’s one of two non-centers in that group.

Seth: If they want to just power rank guys, yeah I'm fine with it. The Big Ten could do away with teams altogether and name a Big Ten "Big Ten" of their top 14 players.

Ace: If they released those with numerical rankings instead of shoving them into teams and not showing how the voting played out, I’d be extremely interesting in seeing them.

Related: let us see the ballots so I know who to yell at. And also ignore as a basketball expert forever.

Brian: The craziest thing to me is Trevion Williams. Did you know that Purdue's offense is better with Zach Edey on the floor?

Ace: I… did not know that. I think Williams is a very good player and I couldn’t find room for him on my third team because he’s a paint-bound center who doesn’t function well with another big.

Seth: He's also on the court for just 62% of possessions.

Brian: Yeah, so you have to balance his giant usage with the fact that he's not very efficient and wouldn't be much more efficient, IMO, with significantly lower usage.

Seth: He's a good at bad shots guy. There's a pretty hard cap on anyone who takes so many 2PJs.

Ace: On the other hand, he’s the centerpiece of a team that got a four-seed in the BTT when they really had no right to do so.

Brian: Purdue really needs him but if you're drafting Cs in this league he's not top 4.

Ace: But yeah, if I had to order centers, it’s: 1. Cockburn 2. Garza 3. Dickinson 4. TJD 5. Liddell 6. Williams

Matt EM: Tough call. While he's paint-bound as a scorer, his playmaking ability opens up a lot of things for a Purdue team that lacks any sort of off-the-dribble playmaking exclusive of Ivey

Ace: His passing is really, really good. His defense, though, is average at best at a spot where you want a good player.

Seth: I mean, if we're comparing how important centers are to their teams though we're talking TJD before Williams.

Ace: The offensive environment is rough for both of those guys. Jackson-Davis is that Indiana team.

Seth: If I'm making All-Big Ten teams that sort of thing matters to me. Not as the only thing, but that dude doesn't come off the court, gets no spacing, and made the KP top ten.

Brian: Yeah, TJD is remarkably available. 83% of minutes is bonkers for a big.

Ace: While you don’t want to penalize players for having crappy backups, yes, that is super important for any top player and especially a center.

Seth: Also important to me: Hunter Dickinson and Kofi Cockburn shut his ass down.

Remember? [Campredon]

Ace: On the whole, I thought the coaches and media did a decent job of selecting the right group of players for the three all-conference teams. I just would’ve put them in a much different order.

Biggest Snub?

The man had thunderdunks. [Campredon]

Brian: Biggest snub for a guy left off Big Ten first through third teams?

Ace: It’s either Jordan Bohannon or Eli Brooks for me.

Seth: Bohannon made Honorable Mention at least. Eli didn't get so much as that.

Ace: Bohannon is the best shooter in the conference, keeps that offense moving, and provides insane spacing that opens everything else up, which makes up for genuinely crappy defense. Brooks is the best glue guy in the conference and we’ve seen the outsized impact he has first-hand.

Brian: His own coach did this to him but Micah Potter shot 61/39 on 28% usage and sat for a broken Nate Reuvers half the time.

Ace: Yeah, I thought about him but that’s on Greg Gard.

Worst Coach of the Year

Bad year for Izzo’s best run [Campredon]

Brian: I guess that's a different category, yes. Tight race for worst coach of the year between Gard and Izzo.

Ace: Archie Miller and Richard Pitino would like a word.

Brian: I don't consider them coaches?

Ace: Fair.

Seth: Izzo also had that late run that had fans fist-pumping and buying the March shirts again. Have to give him credit for his brilliant move of getting Foster Loyer injured.

Ace: By the end, I’d say Archie ran away with anti-COTY. Though I also stopped watching Minnesota games.

Matt EM: In all honesty, I was fairly impressed with Miller when we went to Bloomington. Exclusive of that though, he's under-achieved looking at the resume

Seth: Both teams turned in the towel at the end, but Minnesota gave up on life earlier, which for me gives the nod to Pitino.

Ace: See, I almost think it’s worse that Indiana may have been trying and still played like that. That offense was an abomination.

Brian: Indiana's roster construction is just baffling.

Ace: Player development is a massive problem, too, especially in the backcourt.

Seth: Ya know, I apologize, Minnesota fell apart when Gabe Kalscheur was shut down. That's a fair enough excuse in this league. Archie wins.

Matt EM: The absence of Franklin loomed large in IU's case

Seth: That was just three games. Also Miller gave us a prima facie case for why not to reclassify guys.

Ace: Yeah, both dealt with injuries, though I’d say IU’s backcourt being totally undone by losing one decent but not great player is a knock against Miller. And I agree that Miller really screwed up Khristian Lander’s first year by refusing to let him play through any errors early on.

Reclassifying him was fine, screwing around with his confidence all year was not.

Seth: Like the elites at center it's too bad we have some all-time bad coaching jobs to talk about because it's taking away from how badly Izzo did Rocket Watts this year.

Brian: Playing 10 guys 10+ minutes regularly is crazy, especially when two of them are Kithier and Loyer.

Seth: Okay smart people. Make your picks.

Player of the Year

All but one of us went with the guy so important to his team that they beat the Big Ten champs without him. [Campredon]

Ace: I’ve made my case for Ayo Dosunmu and I’m sticking with it.

Brian: Ayo.

Matt EM: Criteria? Player with best numbers in regular season, where you end up with a Giannis award despite him clearly not being the best player?

Brian: Guy you'd pick first in a hypothetical draft of all Big Ten players.

BiSB: /sounds the Draftageddon Horn

Matt EM: Sounds like my sort of award criteria. Clearly Ayo with Kofi second for me

Seth: If I'm making the best starting five out of Big Ten players I don't have Garza on it, but I still choose Luke Garza because teams are not made out of all elites and that guy ensures your offense is going to be top-ten with some halfway decent shooters around him. I'll give up rim protection and build a #1 offense/#30 defense around him.

This pick is also highly based on feels.

Ace: Garza is a remarkable player. I don’t want my support of the Illinois guys to take away from that. But I will say that even if you don’t surround Garza with Iowa defenders, you might have trouble building that #30 defense.

BiSB: It feels like the Bigs can cancel each other out to an extent, but Ayo stands alone in terms of the 1 through 4 spots.

Matt EM: There is some merit to Garza for the simple fact that he's clearly #1 on the opposing scouting report every night and produces..........until he runs into Hunter Dickinson

Ace: We talk about the great environment Garza gives his shooters but that cuts both ways.

Seth: Garza also never claimed a Big Ten title he didn't win on the basis of playing more games.

Brian: Around here we encourage spicy behavior Seth.

Ace: We want Illinois to raise a banner so we can Stauskas them the next trip to Champaign. This is canon.

Seth:

[Campredon]

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

Our All-Big Ten Teams

ALL-CONFERENCE:

 

1ST TEAM
Pos.	Ace	Brian	Matt EM	Seth
PG	Marcus Carr, MN	Ayo	Ayo	Carr
G	Ayo Dosunmu, IL	Joe Wieskamp, IA	Franz	Ayo
W	Franz Wagner, U-M	Franz	Liddell	Franz
F	EJ Liddell, OSU	Liddell	Luka Garza, IA	Liddell
C	Kofi Cockburn, IL	Kofi	Kofi	Kofi
2ND TEAM
Pos.	Ace	Brian	Matt EM	Seth
PG	Jordan Bohannon, IA	Carr	Washington	Bohannon
G	Duane Washington Jr., OSU	Washington	Jacob Young, RU	Washington
W	Isaiah Livers, U-M	Eric Ayala, UMD	Livers	Livers
F	Trayce Jackson-Davis, IU	Livers	TJD	TJD
C	Garza	Garza	Hunter Dickinson, U-M	Garza
3RD TEAM
Pos.	Ace	Brian	Matt EM	Seth
PG	D'Mitrick Trice, UW	Trice	Carr	Ayala
G	Eli Brooks, U-M	Henry	Trice	CJ Fredrick, IA
W	Wieskamp	Ron Harper, RU	Wieskamp	Wieskamp
F	Aaron Henry, MSU	TJD	Henry	Harper
C	Dickinson	Dickinson	Trevion Williams, PU	Dickinson
PLAYER OF THE YEAR
x	Ayo Dosunmu	Ayo Dosunmu	Ayo Dosunmu	Luka Garza

ALL-DEFENSE:

Pos.	Ace	Brian	Matt EM	Seth
G	Trent Frazier, IL	Brooks	Frazier	Frazier
G	Eli Brooks, U-M	Darryl Morsell, UMD	Chaundee Brown, U-M	Chaundee
W	Aaron Henry, MSU	Eric Hunter, PU	Henry	Livers
F	Franz Wagner, UM	Franz	Franz	Franz
C	Kofi Cockburn, IL	Kofi	Kofi	Kofi
DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR
x	Franz Wagner	Franz	Franz	Franz

ALL-FRESHMAN:

Pos.	Ace	Brian	Matt EM	Seth
PG	Andrew Curbelo, IL	Curbelo	Curbelo	Curbelo
G	Jaden Ivey, PU	Ivey	Ivey	Ivey
W	Brandon Newman, PU	Jonathan Davis, UW	Davis	Newman
F	Keegan Murray, IA	Murray	Murray	Murray
C	Hunter Dickinson, U-M	Dickinson	Dickinson	Dickinson
NEWCOMER OF THE YEAR
x	Hunter Dickinson	Dickinson	Dickinson	Dickinson

EXTRAS:

Category	Ace	Brian	Matt EM	Seth
Sixth Man	Chaundee Brown, U-M	Keegan Murray, IA	Chaundee	Chaundee
Most Improved	Eric Ayala, UMD	Jacob Young, RU		Young
Coach of the Year	Juwan Howard, U-M	Juwan	Juwan	Juwan
Disaster Factory	Both Gach, MN	Gach		Gach

 

Hope you all enjoyed the season. Roll credits.

Ace: [pokes head back in]

Chaundee Brown was robbed.

[Campredon]