Blue and Joe

PUNT

By Bryan MacKenzie

In case you missed it, Colorado tried to be cute with their depth chart. And pretty much every media outlet responded with a headline about Jim Harbaugh not being ‘amused.’

The implication of that headline is that Harbaugh found it stupid or distasteful. Or maybe he judged it to be a failed joke; it was an amusing idea, but was poorly executed. However, from all outward indications, the truth is likely is that Jim Harbaugh is the kind of guy who divides all information into two categories: 1) information that is relevant to the task at hand, and 2) why are you telling me this?

Colorado sent us a funny depth chart? Why would they do that? They could have been using that time to break down film or find a more efficient route to the stadium. And why would you show it to me? This does not help me win this football game. I’m not going to waste disk drive space or RAM on this, when I could be spending that computing power on a fullback wheel route.

He does not take vacations. He doesn't get sick. He doesn't observe major holidays. He is a jackhammer.

Harbaugh is not unlike a number of successful top-tier football coaches in this way. The line between this kind of behavior and mental illness is a fine one (as this week’s Urban Meyer piece artfully demonstrated). But while it may lead some to point and laugh at the way he interacts with the world, it also means that Jim Harbaugh isn’t going to leave anything on the table.

Why does this matter for Colorado? Because while Colorado isn’t awful, they also aren’t very good. And more importantly, they aren’t a complete team. They have a few strong pieces, but they have some glaring deficiencies. And if you have Jim Harbaugh throwing wearing the headset, those weaknesses are going to be exploited. Betting on Harbaugh to either not notice, or to not find a way to take advantage of, an opponent’s weaknesses, especially when they are not particularly small not well disguised, is an unwise gamble.

Why would you even send me a depth chart? I’ve already watched every snap you’ve ever put on film. I know your backup quarterback’s favorite color, and the shoe size of your associate athletic director. We might not need the trebuchets I’ve specially designed to the type of stones you’ve used to construct these walls, but I’ll be damned if I’m not going to build them just in case.

Michigan 41, Colorado 7.

COUNTERPUNT

by Nick RoUMel

Scotty Frost, the half-championship, half-baked half-wit, was only half right. Despite last week’s 51-14 thrashing, Frost boasted that his Knights “outhit” Michigan. I was reminded of the Black Knight from Monday Python and the Holy Grail, brushing off his quadruple amputation as a “scratch” and a “flesh wound:”

“We’ll call it a draw, then.”

While it might be more accurate to say that CFU “out-held” Michigan, Frost did have a point. Our offensive line wasn’t blowing anyone off the ball; the defense gave up yardage; and the Wolverines looked curiously lackluster at times - despite the final score.

The good news is that our passing game seems ahead of where it was last year, when Jake Rudock was rusty in early games. Wilton Speight, blessed by a splendid receiving corps and enough time on pass blocking, took full advantage of the Knights packing the box to stop the run. With CFU daring the pass, Coach Harbaugh was happy to oblige; whereas certain past coaches in the same circumstance would keep trying to “establish the running game.” (Fitz Toussaint’s 27 carries for 27 yards, anyone?)

Colorado gives us a much harder matchup than CFU, is coming off two impressive victories, and is projected to play in a bowl despite a ferociously difficult schedule. In short: they are the real deal. They can pile up yards in a hurry, led by their dual-threat quarterback Sefo Liufau (a cross between Lucy Liu and a loofah).

Did you know you cannot find a photo of Michigan alum Lucy Liu in a Michigan shirt?

They are also aggressive on defense. If you concede that CFU gave our o-line a challenge, then today will be even tougher. In short, the 20-point spread is insane. Yes, I love this Michigan team. But like Jim Harbaugh, I worry about Freddie P. Soft (as described by Harbaugh, a little devil looking very much like the Virginia Cavalier, whispering sweet nothings in our ears):

Hey you, #4 in the U.S.A.! It’s in the bag!

Alas, we will succumb to Freddie’s seductive song. I do not want this to be true, but as Cassandra I have the gift of prophecy (and as Cassandra, I am cursed that no one will believe me). But I must foresee the future I have been shown.

It is this: The Buffaloes won’t even need a Hail Mary today. They’ll beat on both sides of the ball, and on the scoreboard. Curse you, Freddie.

COLORADO 24, MICHIGAN 20