Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me To Rutgers Edition
Back for another week of "Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me to." I'm hoping for a great effort out of the posters for a big rivalry game.
My leadoff:
Win will cause me to: Begin a thorough breakdown of Wisconsin
Loss will cause me to: Begin a thorough breakdown of Wisconsin...basketball
Wall of Fame:
Our new wall of fame member is The Homie J. Congrats to The Homie J you may collect your free internet points.
Washington Winner:
Win will cause me to: Have a nice big pour of Basil Hayden, open all the windows, and blast the fight song.
Loss will cause me to: Shut off all the lights, still a big pour of Basil Hayden, and then probably wont leave the house for a week or so.
NIU Winner:
Win will cause me to: get irrationally excited about a less daunting B1G schedule than anticipated
Loss will cause me to: look under the bed for Rocky Lombardi
September 24th, 2021 at 6:01 PM ^
We are not losing to Rutgers with this team.
September 24th, 2021 at 6:07 PM ^
It’s Rutgers. Future life decisions should not be based on this game.
September 24th, 2021 at 6:10 PM ^
Win: sip some Kool Aid
Loss: dump out the pitcher and wait for basketball season
September 24th, 2021 at 6:10 PM ^
Win: say "wow, Schiano is 74 and 74 as head coach at Rutgers"
Loss: say "how the h3!! does Schiano have a winning record at Rutgers?!"
September 24th, 2021 at 6:11 PM ^
Win will cause me to
Write a haiku. Loss will cause
Me to not write one.
September 24th, 2021 at 6:19 PM ^
Same answer. Nothing for both.
This is just such a weird year that I almost feel like you can't feel strongly about anything until it's pretty clear how the season will turn out.
I wouldn't normally say that, but this is such a "make or break" season that winning this game really only means we accomplished our goal of going 1-0 THIS week.
But it shouldn't make me feel better or worse about my preseason predictions. Everything is still on the table.
Win the next few games then I think you can go, "okay...6-6, 7-5, and 8-4 are probably unlikely" (win this and beat Wisconsin and 6-6 is off the table, IMO).
Outside of people who said 6-6 or worse, I just don't think anyone who made a preseason prediction, whether to themselves or publicly, really thought we wouldn't be 4-0 after 4 games.
Like did anyone really say 8-4 and one of the 4 losses would be Washington? Maybe so, but I think it's more likely they were looking at teams like Wisconsin, Penn State, Indiana, and Ohio State. If true, I really don't think you can feel a certain way until that 4 is impacted.
September 24th, 2021 at 6:24 PM ^
For the record...I keep saying the same thing about recruiting.
You can't get too high or low on recruiting this year.
If we have a shit season, most of these guys aren't coming. Even some guys already committed. The energy around the program will be dead and the best we'll be able to hope is that a new coach is hired in time to salvage even a little bit of this class.
If we have a GREAT season, who gives a shit that we missed out on a 3* LB in July? We're going to have so many opportunities to flip guys that are better. That 3* will have done us a favor. The momentum will be unreal.
You can already start to see the names, it's building...but it doesn't mean a thing if we don't finish. Finish and they'll be kicking down the doors to play for this staff.
September 24th, 2021 at 6:46 PM ^
Dude, one cares. This thread is supposed to fun and for people come up with some jokes. If I wanted this answer I would have made a different thread.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:51 PM ^
"Dude," I don't give a shit what answer you wanted, lol. You can still get those answers.
The beauty of creating a thread...is that it's open for EVERYONE to comment on. Not just the comments you want or like.
Understand?
September 24th, 2021 at 9:41 PM ^
It would've been much cooler if you'd ended this with "Capiche?" Just sayin...
September 25th, 2021 at 8:37 AM ^
The beauty of creating a thread...is that it's open for EVERYONE to comment on. Not just the comments you want or like.
Well, it's certainly true that everyone is able to comment. But when you consider the quality (or lack of same) of so many of those comments, calling it "beauty" is a wee bit of an overstatement.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:21 PM ^
I was pretty pessimistic coming into the season and I wasn’t at all sure about Washington, and thought that a surprise loss to one of the MAC teams wasn’t impossible.
Now, I’m not surprised that we’re 3-0, but I wouldn’t have been surprised with less, either. And the way we’ve gotten there has been impressive, and only a cursory review of how we felt after winning games in rough years (2013, 2017) is needed to see that this matters.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:51 PM ^
I felt the same coming into the season. I had this belief in the back of my mind though that last season was and aberration, the COVID stuff sure, but something seemed way off with the energy and comments and such. I’m now certain that the program for a co-written of reasons had a lot of dysfunction and seems like there’s probably some stories we’ll never hear about like the Brown/Schoop stuff. Jim’s fixed a bunch of that and got rid of the people he needed too and brought in the right ones. He just seems way more confident and more himself or at least the coach I wanted here in 2015. Makes me think he knows the teams good.
September 24th, 2021 at 8:18 PM ^
I am not surprised Michigan is 3-0, but I am surprised in the way they are 3-0. I was 8-4, now I think at least 9-3. Either way I am confident that this group of coaches needs a second year.
September 25th, 2021 at 8:19 AM ^
Correct answer.
September 24th, 2021 at 6:31 PM ^
Win will cause me to: celebrate with a beer and a game of Snooker.
Loss will cause me to: torture myself with reruns of The Jersey Shore and Snookie (after gargling with Axe body spray to cover the vomit taste in my mouth).
September 24th, 2021 at 7:19 PM ^
Sounds like you like tight pockets, and loose ones too!
September 24th, 2021 at 6:35 PM ^
Win: I'll take a big steamy dump
Loss: same as a win but it will be in my pants
September 25th, 2021 at 12:28 AM ^
Shit dude no. You wear yoga pants.
September 24th, 2021 at 6:51 PM ^
A win will cause me to celebrate a wee bit, watch more college football in the evening, read MgoBlog for 4 & 0 excitement and analysis, and look forward to Wisconsin. A loss will put my dobber down for no more than 24hours, watch no more football this weekend, read MgoBlog for answers, watch the Ryder Cup exclusively Sunday, ignore the polls, and look forward to Wisconsin with lower expectations. Will try to do better next time.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:00 PM ^
Brian hit the nail on the head in the preview
September 24th, 2021 at 7:02 PM ^
Win will cause me to climax.
Loss will cause me to see my doctor about ED.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:14 PM ^
Win will cause me to start thinking about bowl games (yes, I count my chickens before they're hatched).
A loss will have me looking forward to basketball season.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:17 PM ^
Win: eat half a pizza in exhilaration!
Lose: eat an entire pizza in shame:(
September 24th, 2021 at 7:19 PM ^
Win will cause me to be happy Blue!
Loss will cause me to rutgrrr
September 24th, 2021 at 7:19 PM ^
Win. We get thru easiest part of schedule 4-0. Have me looking forward to our 5 road games and OSU game with anticipation.
Loss and my anticipation will not be diminished.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:22 PM ^
Win: Wow, I’m excited about football, basketball, and hockey.
Loss: Wow, I’m excited about basketball and hockey.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:23 PM ^
Win will cause me to: be charitable and spread goodwill.
Loss will cause me to: steal someone’s parking spot.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:27 PM ^
If we lose!!!
September 24th, 2021 at 7:29 PM ^
A loss will cause me to slam my balls in a desk drawer.
So will a win.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:55 PM ^
I’ve always said we should party.
September 25th, 2021 at 2:58 AM ^
Good to have you back as a regular Hatter, even though I have no idea who you are.
kinda missed you for a while there
September 24th, 2021 at 7:30 PM ^
Win will cause me to: Pine for the Muppets!
Loss will cause me to: Pine for the Fjords.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:31 PM ^
Win: Yawn
Loss: Confirmation that gambling controls sports
September 24th, 2021 at 7:34 PM ^
Win: it will be a great birthday gift.
Lose: another year older sucks.
September 25th, 2021 at 2:12 AM ^
Happy birthday buddy!
My moms bday is today too.
Cheers!! ?
September 24th, 2021 at 7:40 PM ^
A win will cause me to - calmly go about my evening, as I expect to beat Rutgers.
A loss will cause me to - begin reading the basketball coverage a little more than I have to date, because I will have difficulty thinking clearly about football at that point.
September 24th, 2021 at 7:55 PM ^
Win will cause me to gleefully trek to Piscataway for even further carnage next year
Loss will cause me to angrily piss on a cat to make it go away
September 24th, 2021 at 10:06 PM ^
Why wait for a loss? You can do that every day. You can do it FOR FREE!
September 24th, 2021 at 8:20 PM ^
win: be pleased that we are at the top of the Big Ten standings.
Loss: Worry about everybody else on the schedule not named Northwestern.
September 24th, 2021 at 8:23 PM ^
Win will cause me to laugh at scarlet knight for looking like Sparty
Loss will cause me to be tormented by images of scarlet knight for what to come against Sparty
September 24th, 2021 at 8:26 PM ^
I was excited that tomorrow is a football Saturday for the first time in a long time.
Win will cause me to: give my kids another $10-$15k each in their 529 so they can go to Michigan out of state.
Loss will cause me to: talk to my kids about pulling themselves up by their bootstraps.
September 24th, 2021 at 8:34 PM ^
Win: walk from The Big House back to my car and drive home happy.
Lose: walk from The Big House back to my car and drive home sad.
September 24th, 2021 at 9:12 PM ^
Schiano is a really good coach, but we won't be losing. The team is getting stronger and stronger.
September 24th, 2021 at 9:40 PM ^
Win will cause me to fire off a cannon in my back yard.
Loss will cause me to wonder why this cannon is in my back yard.
September 25th, 2021 at 8:43 AM ^
All good men should own cannons.
September 24th, 2021 at 9:40 PM ^
Woo! This is the highpoint of my time spent on the internet! Yeah!
Win will cause me to: question why Rutgers is a member of the B1G
Loss will cause me to: question why I'm a fan of this particular B1G team
September 24th, 2021 at 9:46 PM ^
No reason to even throw a pass tomorrow.
September 24th, 2021 at 9:52 PM ^
Win: subscribe to cable for at least one more week
lose: launch my TV in the general direction of Bolivia obviating the need for cable
September 24th, 2021 at 10:04 PM ^
Win will make me BPONE about being 2-9 against ranked teams on the road next week.
Loss will not make me not care about being 2-9 against ranked teams on the road next week.