Ultimate UM Football Revenge Tour Scenario
Michigan could potentially have six games left if we win every single one. The official 4 game Michigan revenge tour (Wisconsin, msu, psu, osu) is nearly complete, but here is my scenario for the ultimate Michigan football revenge tour:
1. Michigan defeats chief rival Rutger despite their efforts to fence the garden and defeat us for the second time in their history. We may have the most wins and the highest winning percentage of all time, but they are the birthplace of college football. We need revenge on them for giving birth to football before we did.
2. Michigan defeats Indiana. We need revenge against this team as they have had the audacity to beat us not once, but twice during Jim Harbaugh’s 54 years on this earth (1987 AND 1967).
3. Michigan defeats an Ohio State university. The importance of winning this rivalry game cannot be overstated. This is The Game, and this year features one of the most important Matchups in the history of this rivalry. These bozos have beaten us 15 out of the last 17 matchups. Their entire university has sold their integrity to retain a head coach who is on the verge of a second meltdown of epic proportions in the last decade. He has already left carnage and shame at one football juggernaut, and this game presents an opportunity to deliver the ultimate football justice on their home turf. One M victory could be the death knell for a coach and a university that deserve shame and failure for their remarkable lack of integrity. By all accounts, this would be the sweetest victory on this glorious revenge tour. However, this would not be the last stop...
4. Michigan defeats Northwestern to win the B1G title. This school managed to beat us in the first ever match up between these two teams in 1892. That one still stings. They also have (unsuccessfully) tried to argue an academic competitive advantage over us. They also forced many emotional (and pathetic) Michigan fans to post negative things about Don Brown on our message board during the first quarter of a game less than 6 weeks ago. Can I adequately state our need to get revenge for that?
5. Michigan defeats Alabama in the college football playoff semi-final. Let me just list a few of the myriad reasons that this team sits near the top of the revenge tour: Pete Finebaum, Najee Harris, bagmen, the CFP committee, ESPN, conference affiliation with non-kindred spirit Hugh Freeze, 17 national championships > 11, A .500 all-time record versus us (2-2, nobody does that to Michigan). The sweetness of this revenge factor would be up near the top - I would argue up there with Rutger for trying to fence the garden.
6. Michigan defeats Notre Dame. Just imagine with me that everything falls our away (including a shocking Notre Dame victory over Clemson), and we get the opportunity to avenge our only loss of this magical season on the grandest stage of all. Notre Dame chickened out of the rivalry, and then brought it back in a cowardly and disingenuous fashion to steal an extra home game. They managed to win this game despite being out-gained by a superior team due to a lucky 43 yard pop-up into double coverage. An even larger number of emotional (and pathetic) Michigan fans called for Jim Harbaugh‘s head after this game. Their fight song, their history, their stadium, their helmets, and their tradition are all really good. Each of these is at least just a little bit inferior to ours. We owe them revenge for deceiving a solid handful of uneducated people that they have a better program than us.
Michigan 14-1*
(*= avenged)
Thank you for reading what one could consider to be the ultimate Michigan revenge tour. What revenge scenario sounds sweetest to you?
November 7th, 2018 at 10:09 PM ^
So, what you're saying is that it's best if we keep winning.
I agree.
November 8th, 2018 at 9:42 AM ^
it is an interesting take, but i will have to agree as well.
November 8th, 2018 at 10:57 AM ^
Just follow Mitch McGary's advice.
November 8th, 2018 at 9:44 PM ^
I never thought of it that way. Thank you for clarifying this for the poster. I've been persuaded that Michigan should go ahead and win all of their games. Go blue!
November 7th, 2018 at 10:12 PM ^
I have us beating ND in the 2 v 3 match up but I like how you think.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:15 PM ^
Wow, this would be a dream revenge tour. Beyond legendary and epic.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:15 PM ^
I'm in favor of all of that, plus I'd like to take out Montezuma too since I had Taco Bell and several Coronas tonight.
Beat Rutger.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:32 PM ^
Switch to Modelo, thank me later
November 8th, 2018 at 7:25 AM ^
Model Negro, not Especial.
November 8th, 2018 at 9:36 AM ^
Pacifico
November 7th, 2018 at 10:18 PM ^
This is excellent. Would read again. +1.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:22 PM ^
Should I buy the shirt now? or after the revenge tour has finished?
November 8th, 2018 at 6:21 AM ^
I'd wait
November 8th, 2018 at 8:49 AM ^
I'm waiting.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:22 PM ^
This whole post is a fail for not mentioning the bludgeoning Alabama gave UM in 2012 as reason for revenge.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:27 PM ^
You must be a blast at parties
November 8th, 2018 at 11:54 AM ^
I don’t know about that. We were in that game until the 4th second.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:23 PM ^
I’m down with this.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:23 PM ^
Can we upvote OPs yet?
Also beat rutger.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:26 PM ^
A cherry on top would be that the NC game is in Levi's stadium. So the 49ers organization will get to see Harbaugh win a championship game there before the 49ers even make the post season or have a winning record since he was fired.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:33 PM ^
I like that scenario... I think I recall his contract saying something about a bonus for making the CFP and/or the championship game? Tack into your story that he doubles his salary for the year by winning that game...
November 7th, 2018 at 10:29 PM ^
+1 if I could award it to you.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:31 PM ^
i'd rather get iowa in the big ten championship and fuck 'em up for 2016
November 8th, 2018 at 2:50 AM ^
Same. Unfortunately the odds of them winning the West are... long.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:31 PM ^
I like it. HAIL!!!! GO BLUE!!!!
November 8th, 2018 at 5:31 AM ^
I forgot how fast he really was.
November 8th, 2018 at 8:56 AM ^
You made me laugh out loud uncontrollably while on the toilet at work... lol
November 8th, 2018 at 9:46 AM ^
It made me aggressively fefn™. That is to Forcefully Exhale From Nose. I created this to remove LOL from my vocabulary in an attempt to more accurately describe my reactions. I hardly ever LOL in a texting situation.
November 8th, 2018 at 1:45 PM ^
So you’re LMAO and FEFN....next time take a selfie...I would pay to see that.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:41 PM ^
The ultimate revenge tour scenario needs to have South Carolina on it. I'm sure there's a way. Keep working on it.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:54 PM ^
We can get to them eventually.
November 7th, 2018 at 11:18 PM ^
Wait, in the South Carolina game we beat ourselves, which means...WTF!?!
November 7th, 2018 at 11:23 PM ^
Michigan revenges themselves by winning the remainder of their games.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:57 PM ^
Wouldn't Iowa be more of a revenge tour than Nwestern in the B1GCG?
The last time Michigan played Iowa was 2016 when they shot down Michigan's playoff hopes.
November 7th, 2018 at 10:57 PM ^
This but somehow with UCF.
Their former coach (since /revenged) said they out-hit Michigan two years ago. Feels like that revenge is only half-venged.
November 7th, 2018 at 11:25 PM ^
How does Michigan revenge Scott Frost's mom? Did pasting Nebraska 56-10 count?
November 7th, 2018 at 11:30 PM ^
Personalized Frosty for Life coupon from Wendy's
November 7th, 2018 at 11:10 PM ^
If Michigan does make it to the national championship game, it will be at Levi's Stadium...and that part of the Revenge Tour will get real personal for Coach
November 7th, 2018 at 11:28 PM ^
Jim can give Jed York swirlies in the locker room.
November 10th, 2018 at 1:57 PM ^
I think his name is 'Yed Jork'
November 7th, 2018 at 11:19 PM ^
Bullet Point #5 is missing Damien Harris. He was committed to Michigan early in that recruiting cycle and then de-committed before committing and signing with bama!
November 8th, 2018 at 12:42 AM ^
And Dashawn ?
November 7th, 2018 at 11:23 PM ^
beating Iowa in the btcg would be another nice one as payback for 2016
November 7th, 2018 at 11:27 PM ^
My ultimate revenge tour would include Iowa in the conference chamouinship game (for obvious reasons), West Virginia in the semifinal (revenge for giving us RichRod), and Georgia in the final for stealing Reese, Wilson, and Nauta and for Kirby Smart's stupid tweets.
November 8th, 2018 at 12:00 AM ^
We already enjoy our revenge against WVU for RR. It's the two Final Four banners, two B1G regular season titles and two B1G tourney championships.
November 7th, 2018 at 11:33 PM ^
Stop drinking and go to bed.
November 7th, 2018 at 11:48 PM ^
I'd like to see Don Brown tackle Finebaum so hard that his head explodes
November 7th, 2018 at 11:51 PM ^
Can we beat sparty again this year ? That was fun.
November 8th, 2018 at 12:33 AM ^
Who ever created this murderwolf revenge tour, needs to update it knocking on OSU door now!