OT - Share Your Favorite One-Liners
Mates,
Checking out of my regular food store today the lady there was having a hectic day dealing with some of the customers. Being a familiar face to her, as I walked by she said, 'I have a new hobby...Vodka!'. That got a smile out of me and it occurred that this board would probably have some dandy one-liners to share.
So, share some of the best one-liners you have ever heard, said, watched, etc. and remember to keep it semi-classy for our mgoblogging ladies.
A new one I just heard:
I haven't talked to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
(OK, so maybe that's two lines, but come on - gold)
as cold as an eskimo's pussy out here!
/got nuthin
Where'd you get your clothes - from the toilet store?
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When walking past a Hooters in Washington DC, a coworker asks "What's the point of Hooters to go?"
golf balls, is that like tennis elbow?
You buy more.
But the best extemporaneous line I ever heard was walking up Main Street after the '97 OSU game. "Only five weeks left to the epiphany."
You out there Steve?
I'm not superstitious....but I am a little stitious.
And people in hell want ice water and fire insurance.
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of meat.
I didn't know what to wear to the Premature Ejaculators Society meeting, so I just came in my pants.
What`s better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.
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An oldie but a goodie:
Take my wife... please!
I remember my first beer.