OT: To No One’s Surprise... the New Star Wars Movie Sucks
Kathleen Kennedy, Rian Johnson and JJ Abrams succeeded in making a trilogy worse than the prequels. I’m impressed. Truly. Kennedy, as Brian would say in reference to Jim Delaney, is just in charge for the sake of being charge of stuff. The fact that she had no roadmap for this trilogy and let Johnson shit all over the already non-creative foundation Abrams made from episode 7 only to back track with superficial nostalgia ridden tropes in this one as an “apology” reeks of desperation and classic Disney garbage.
She needs to be gone yesterday.
On the bright side, we’re done with the Skywalker story finally. Maybe we can get some Old Republic movies (KOTOR fans stand up) which are by far the best stories in the Star Wars universe.
Overall summary of the new series
Episode 7: Re-hash of Episode 4 but okay foundation with plenty of mystery to explore
Episode 8: LOL WHAT MYSTERY
Episode 9: Exposition nightmare filled with nostalgic tropes and Mary Sue tendencies to the point of 0 tension and horrible pacing.
Adam Driver wins MVP but his character was poorly done and not even a threat since they de-pantsed him from the jump. Daisy Ridley is a good actor but her character is as about as interesting as cardboard and is the most boring heroine in movie history. Nothing she does makes sense and she’s strong just because . No hero cycle. Just superficial nonsense to win brownie points with certain demographics.
TLDR: New Star Wars is bad. Kennedy needs to be fired for not having a plan in place for proper character development and story. Actors put in tough spots due to shitty script.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:04 PM ^
Legolas is an elf and therefore immortal which means he has had 100s if not 1000s of years to hone his craft.
however as a wood elf he was not one of the nobler elf races ( vanyar, noldor, or teleri)
December 20th, 2019 at 10:55 AM ^
No. It's obvious that there was an 'overall plan' for the trilogy. To suggest that Disney wouldn't have one is silly. One big part of the overall plan was: Han-Luke-Leia in 7-8-9. Unfortunate there.
The OP is too mad by far. This movie isn't as good as episode VIII, but it's very good, and probably even more pleasing to a significant population of Star Wars fans.
As Kurt Vonnegut said, a critic is someone who dons a full suit of armor to attack a hot fudge sundae.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:00 AM ^
This what Disney is doing right now. Look no further than the Avengers movies. They knew black people would show up to watch Black Panther during black history month. They knew women wanted to see female leads once the Me Too movement took off.
December 20th, 2019 at 4:46 PM ^
These fuckin assholes makin movies with black people and women in mind... what's next, Mexicans??
December 20th, 2019 at 9:40 AM ^
They aren’t actually. Too much of today’s film is forced diversity. Meaning rather than creating female or minority role organically they take a role written for a white man and place a woman or minority in it. Hollywood needs more roles created specifically for women and minorities.
Ripley in Alien/Aliens is how you do it. Strong, tough, leader, with a few moments of tenderness to flesh out her character.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:58 AM ^
And the interesting thing here is that the character Ripley was originally male in the earlier drafts of the script.
https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/female-characters-written-for-men
December 20th, 2019 at 10:04 AM ^
Testament to Weaver’s skill as an actor that she made it her own.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:34 AM ^
Name one skill Rey struggled with or was worse at than any other character.
Name one thing she was taught.
Name one ability she earned.
Name one person she had to win over or is it that everyone loves her just because?
She's been a magic desert rat the entire time and it makes for a boring character because Mary Sue's/ Gary Stu's(Wesley Crusher anyone?) fucking suck.
Rey is a boring Mary Sue, whether its because the writers for this new trilogy suck out loud(Spoiler alert: they do) or because it was a pandering decision(doubtful as the Occam's razor explanation of shitty writers writing themselves into corners and then Deus Ex Machinaing their way out of it using the one new Force Aware character feels more likely) it doesn't really change the effect her character has on a poor story.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:44 AM ^
She got her boobs out in a horror movie a while back.
They were nice. And I enjoyed the movie.
December 20th, 2019 at 11:38 AM ^
mr skin dot com
December 20th, 2019 at 10:03 AM ^
You're seeing what you want to see.
- Rey is constantly searching for a parental figure. That's why she latches onto Han in TFA, and she looks to Leia at the end of TLJ when she thinks it's hopeless. Very similar to Luke with Obi-Wan and Yoda in A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back.
- She gets captured and tortured in TFA by Kylo Ren extremely easily. She does get out of that fairly easily, but it's not like she magically defeated Kylo Ren immediately. (FWIW, I think Abrams's story sort of sucks here - she just gets exposed to someone else using the force and becomes adept at it? Doesn't really make sense given the rest of the series.)
- She immediately goes to the dark side pit/area when she's on the island with Luke.
- You can see, like Luke in ESB and ROTJ, that she will sometimes draw power from the dark side.
- She has to be rescued by Kylo Ren when she gives herself up to Snoke. Snoke destroys her.
But, yeah, sure, she's perfect!
December 20th, 2019 at 10:52 AM ^
Honestly, I think it mostly comes down to shitty writing, but a quick rebuttal:
1. Except she never listens to what they have to say and instead everyone is constantly disappointing her and trying to be worthy of her.
2. She got out of it by somehow magically using the Jedi mind trick that she has never even heard of before.
3. Okay, but was there anything that showed an internal debate(why is she tempted by the dark side, what kind of motivations lead her to it) or was it simply something to give her to do like I reach for the dark side and then reject it?
4. See above, her character is simply never developed enough to have a feeling for why there would be any sort of internal struggle.
5. Honestly don't remember the details here, I do remember it being some kind of out of left field thing(like Leia somehow turning into Mary Poppins or Rose Tico somehow catching up and crashing into Finn when he had a head start and was going full bore at the Empire/First Order/whogivesashitanymore's forces) and then a fight scene where she tore through Snoke's guard like they didn't exist. Again goes to crappy writing that I can't really remember how a major plot point got resolved.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:04 AM ^
Bullshit. Rey and the other characters were just poorly written and one dimensional AF. Don’t shame people, who recognize them for what they are and call a spade a spade, by saying they clearly aren’t woke enough to understand the nuances of such great characters.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:26 AM ^
I'm fine with that criticism. Relying on gendered terms and gesturing at PC culture being the problem is a step too far. There are tons of things to criticize that don't need you to go down that road.
Yes, there's a definite lack of joined-up thinking in this trilogy. Nobody really realized the consequences of what Abrams did in TFA to the overall story, which really boxed them into certain things. I can see why people who grew up idolizing Luke would be pissed at his turn in TLJ.
Miss me with "Mary Sue" and "woke" and whatever other garbage people are spewing about this.
December 20th, 2019 at 11:21 AM ^
Mary Sue is short hand for an over-powered protagonist that does not face any obstacles that are not easily overcome by how wonderful that character is. Basically reminiscent of fan fiction, which is how the term originated(A Star Trek fan fiction story starring a character named Mary Sue). It's not necessarily limited to women as Wesley Crusher/The lead character from the Girl with The Dragon Tattoo trilogy are definite male examples of this and the term Gary Stu has been used to describe it, but for the most part Mary Sue remains the easiest shorthand. It's basically describing the exact criticism of objecting to an overpowered character you referred to earlier so what are we supposed to miss you with?
December 20th, 2019 at 9:15 AM ^
Your outrage would seem warranted if a single Star Wars movie stood out as compelling, well written, well acted, etc. They're all the same. There's no appreciable difference among any of them. Your description of Episode 9 could be used for Episodes 1-8.
Edit: Every time you neg someone you are using the dark side of the force and you're one step closer to looking like the Supreme Leader or Emperor.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:21 AM ^
Except not really. Episodes 4-6 had appreciable character development with all the characters. You could see they spent time together and grew throughout the films. Cheesy and all.
The newest trilogy just tells the audience that they’re supposed all be in it together without showing it all while relying on fanciful memories to gain sympathy from people pissed about Episode 8.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:25 AM ^
You sound proud of your inability to distinguish between movies of varying quality.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:34 AM ^
I don't know what made me sound proud but maybe it came through because I'm certainly not ashamed. Then again, they're not wildly different quality, so I think I can make a distinction between, say, Star Wars and The Rock. Nick Cage, yeah man.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:27 AM ^
The original trilogy was pretty compelling and well written. The acting was a bit rough in spots, but on balance I'd say Episodes 4 and 5 were excellent films. Jedi was okay in the context of wrapping things up, though it doesn't quite hold up as well as the other two, because Ewoks.
I re-watched Phantom Menace last week, and that was still just as painful be as when it came out. I haven't seen any of the recent films.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:31 AM ^
Empire Strikes back is one of the strongest science fiction/adventure movies of all time. The original Star Wars launched an era and was very strong as well. So, ....
December 20th, 2019 at 10:48 AM ^
And, I forgot Rogue One. That was the best Disney/Star Wars movie by far.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:16 AM ^
I suppose I'll have to go see it with my youngest. I'm somewhat hoping he goes and sees it today without me. I don't mind waiting for it to hit the redbox.
December 20th, 2019 at 11:39 AM ^
Ppl still use Redbox?
December 20th, 2019 at 9:25 AM ^
Is this about Michigan football?
December 20th, 2019 at 9:30 AM ^
If you substitute Jumpman for Disney, you may be on to something...
December 20th, 2019 at 9:43 AM ^
So there are high standards, so what?
People liked Rogue One, the reception for The Force Awakens was pretty good as well(even if people noted it was basically episode IV redone) and people like The Manadalorian. It only got bad when The Last Jedi took a giant shit on the fanbase and then Kennedy and Johnson doubled down with a bunch of ad hominem to what were legitimate criticisms.
The Last Jedi had some interesting ideas that I would love to have seen explored, just not in the middle of a trilogy. Subverting expectations is what hacks do when they want to seem deep.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:47 AM ^
The Last Jedi was just awful in every way. I actually hated the movie.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:00 AM ^
I hated it too, but I can recognize Johnson was trying to do a few new things and explore some other sides to the Galaxy. He just should have waited for his own movie to do it with new characters. He wanted to push the envelope when he needed to be a steward.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:12 AM ^
Perfectly stated
December 20th, 2019 at 9:59 AM ^
The last Jedi didn’t shit on anything, I never get this criticism. All the decisions made sense logically. Like you can not like a movie but the problem wasn’t that it shit on the fan base, it was that the fan base didn’t get exactly what it wanted
December 20th, 2019 at 10:16 AM ^
I'd argue his choices were terrible. The idea that Luke was a hologram at the end--zero reason for that, plus it ruined what could have been a terrific fight with Kylo that would have satisfied fans and been dramatically cool. Instead its like oh this isn't a real confrontation and Luke will just fade away now--stupid, and to no end. Then the 20 minute segue to the gambling planet so we can make commentary on how the Star Wars Universe has unequal wealth distribution? JFC.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:43 AM ^
Not to mention the poor weird horse animals that they had to save a minute too. Cannot believe some are arguing that it's not this pc/woke bullshit. It's everywhere.
Remember the 30 second all-woman scene in End Game? It was laughable. "Oh hey, let's give the chicks 30 seconds and the woke masses will just eat it up." It should have been insulting to them.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:39 AM ^
It turned Luke Skywalker, the beloved heroic protagonist of the original films, into a bitter asshole who looked like a homeless slob and drank blue milk that he squeezed from some alien cow titties.
Don’t tell me that isn’t shitting on anything
December 20th, 2019 at 12:17 PM ^
Except Luke was always a whiny character constantly plagued by self doubt and driven more by connections to individuals than a quest for the greater good. You have a problem with the character of Luke? Blame the Force Awakens plot where he hid in self induced exile because of his own failures with Kylo. Once that decision was made bitter and dejected Luke was the only character that made sense
December 20th, 2019 at 10:01 AM ^
It's been bad at least since Lucas started messing around with the originals in the 90s, got worse when Episode I came out, and has continued downhill. Too many people look forward to being angry and disappointed with each installment. Like people who still have season tickets to the Lions.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:12 AM ^
Last sentence QFT
December 20th, 2019 at 9:59 AM ^
Find someone who loves you as much as Star Wars fans hate Star Wars.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:27 AM ^
Disney doesn't care about sour patch nerds, or anyone else. They're printing money.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:29 AM ^
fuck off
December 20th, 2019 at 9:32 AM ^
Like The Walking Dead and the last couple seasons of GoT, I watch this stuff to be entertained. It's never going to be confused with Masterpiece Theater and there a plot holes you could fly a star destroyer through but IDGAF. I can watch them with my son and that means more to me than anything. May the force be with you all.
Edit: Yea! Points work. It's a Festivus miracle (I know I saw the post but had to see for myself.)
December 20th, 2019 at 9:51 AM ^
This right here. Turn the brain off, enjoy some time with my sons. Watch them love the same Star Wars gimmicks I loved when I was little. Yeah, they're using my nostalgia to milk the cash cow but IDGAF either. My boys don't care much about story lines or character development. They like PEW PEW, LIGHT SABRE, X-WING, BIG BALL GO BOOM. I like that they're smiling and happy. They'll be impossible to please soon enough, I'm in no hurry.
December 20th, 2019 at 10:47 AM ^
You just nailed it on the head. I've watched god knows how many avengers movies with my sons. Could not care less about superheo movies. The plot holes and inconsistencies are pathetic. But it's mindless entertainment and my sons are young enough to think it's cool and I get to do that with them.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:32 AM ^
They really botched Kylo Ren. Driver is an incredible actor who made the most out of the character; so much more could have been done.
One thing is for sure, there will not be any clamoring for a follow-up trilogy. Not one of this group of characters from this trilogy (with the exception of maybe Poe at times) captured the screen like the original trilogy's characters did. In 15-20 years I don't see many people saying "they need to make a new trilogy to follow up on Fin and Rey."
I enjoyed this trilogy for the most part. The nostalgia alone was worth it. I would give the nod to the prequel trilogy however in terms of the story.
December 20th, 2019 at 11:54 AM ^
The prequel trilogy could have been terrific. The over arching story arc there was really solid (Jar Jar excluded and the execution of the pod race). And Hayden Christensen's acting was a whole different level of terrible.
December 20th, 2019 at 7:42 PM ^
I find the overuse of CGI really distracting. Episode I was an abomination. I recently rewatched Episode II and it was worse than I remembered. Episode III is alright.
I will take the Disney trilogy over the prequels any day. Episodes I and II were that bad.
December 20th, 2019 at 9:32 AM ^
Just another Star Trek troll here to flame Star Wars.