OT: Fuck Cancer (Update)
So after about 8 hours of surgery today it was discovered that the cancer has spread throughout his body and they're giving him approximately 6 months.
This started as lung cancer 12 years ago, he lost half of a lung. Then the cancer moved to his prostate and he eventually lost his prostate and bladder.
Hes been on an oral chemo med for the last 2 years or so but it had stopped working and so they put a port in and decided to do chemo via drip.
He made it through one treatment, and then after about 10 days he went to the er with horrible abdominal pains.
They rushed him by ambulance to U of M. They cut him open today to relieve the bowel obstruction, but could not remove it because the obstruction was all cancer
They put in a colostomy bag. To give him some more time
If any of you know who I am personally could you please not share this information. My Dad doesn't know any of this, he will be under heavy sedation until at least tomorrow.
Thanks for listening, other than Mrs. DB I don't have many friends anymore
December 10th, 2019 at 9:12 PM ^
We’re all your friends. Praying for your dad. Stay strong for him
December 11th, 2019 at 1:37 PM ^
Keep hope alive, my friend.
My dad had a similar situation even including Colostomy and was given a year to live.
It is now 13 years later and they remain shocked he is still around.
Yes, he has a medical file the size of War and Peace - but he made it through and is still kicking.
Best of luck to you and yours.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:14 PM ^
Prayers for you and your family. I will say a prayer for your father. I will pray to Padre Pio a saint from Italy for you. We’re all your friends. The mgoblog community is family! Stay strong.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:34 PM ^
Amazing, I just finished a St Padre Pio Novena for him and his family before reading these comments. One of my go to prayers when someone is in need.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:15 PM ^
Ugh.
Keep on keepin' on. 6 months could turn into 12, 1.5 years, 3 years. Make sure to focus on some of the positives amongst the other bad news you and family have been given (obviously some in the last but also today)...the light amongst the dark, if you will.
Cheers, man.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:22 PM ^
Stay strong, stay focused. Stay involved with the friends and family, not just for yourself but for them. It's a difficult road; believe it or not, it will get better. I hope I don't come across as a trite loon giving advice in a difficult time; a few ( a lot?) of us even here on the blog have experienced more cancer situations than we ever thought we would...it's just what you gotta do. I wish you all the best, God bless.
Fuck Cancer
December 10th, 2019 at 9:23 PM ^
Still time to make (good) memories - do as much as you can.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:24 PM ^
Man try to stay positive and take one day at a time. I lost my favorite cousin to cancer after his 21st birthday and I sucked as a cousin. I couldn’t stand to see him that way and I was in denial and was just hoping and praying that he’d pull through. He was up and down and my heart couldn’t take seeing him in bed stuck because we did entirely everything together for 21 years. You have time to share your love for your father while he’s still living,”do it!” You’ll grow stronger eventually I hope and pray! God Bless you and your wife and your Father!
December 10th, 2019 at 9:27 PM ^
Somebody neg him for good luck. Keeping you and all families like yours, cancer patients, kids at Mott and other such institutions, and people having a tough time with life in general in my thoughts and prayers this holiday season. Be strong and (reading your other OP) get all the positive momentum you can with him in his time left. FWIW, count me as a friend.
December 10th, 2019 at 10:17 PM ^
Negged for good luck.
Stay strong DB. You have a lot of support here.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:28 PM ^
You all in our prayers. God bless !!!
December 10th, 2019 at 9:29 PM ^
You got me DB. And if you've still got my personnal email and want to talk drop me a line.
Prayers up for you my man. This sucks.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:39 PM ^
Man I really appreciate you and the rest of the mgocommunity
December 10th, 2019 at 9:51 PM ^
heartbroken for you guys.
check your email.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:30 PM ^
Never too late, broseph. I reconnected with my folks after some time apart. My siblings let me know my dad had prostate cancer and I reached out, so glad I did. He's doing really well after a bit of a scare but the relationship I have with again is priceless. The universe is a cool thing sometimes and gives us a second or third chance when we least expect it. Take advantage, my friend.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:34 PM ^
I don't know you or anything about you other than what you wrote today about your father and of course your other posts, but I wish you the absolute best and for just one more minute with your father. And hopefully one more monute after that. And one more after that.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:40 PM ^
Prayers from another brother of the #BlueFamily
December 10th, 2019 at 9:41 PM ^
Big time prayers for you and your family FRIEND. On your last post I commented about losing my mom at 18, it was to a bowel obstruction and your story of the surgery had me thinking of and remembering her and waiting out those hours of surgery. Use however many months you have to tell him everything you wanted to and that you love Him. Truth is we all should follow that advice as no one knows the day or hour they could be called home. I will keep praying for you and him. If you are ever in the Muskegon area we can go chat over beer somewhere. God bless you.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:46 PM ^
Fuck cancer.
Sending good vibes, man.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:47 PM ^
Cancer sucks but sadly we all meet our maker by God's will. Not one of us is immortal. The key is to comfort those passing to the hand of God and make their final days as joyful as possible. Smoother him with love and give him memories with positive thoughts about his life every chance until his passing.
God Bless to you all during this trying time. Our prayers are with you.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:51 PM ^
Praying for you and your family. ??
December 10th, 2019 at 9:52 PM ^
Sorry man, fuck cancer
December 10th, 2019 at 9:54 PM ^
Well, the good news is that he made it out of surgery and has a few more months. You get a chance to go see him, so do it. Make the time, find the money, and just go visit. Good luck to both of you...
December 10th, 2019 at 9:54 PM ^
God Bless, DB
December 10th, 2019 at 9:55 PM ^
Quite a battle your dad has waged. God bless him. You, too, have battled greatly on what sounds like more than one front. God bless you, as well. Never underestimate how many friends you may have. The way I see it, if you have never wronged me, you are my friend. My wife, brother, brother-in-law, mother and father have all had cancer. Only my pop has lost his battle, to date. It is an insidious disease, but it does not define the person. I truly hope your dad chooses to fight on and that you fight along with him...the toughest situations can bring out our best. Fight a noble fight and love those closest to you and make sure they know it. The rest is insignificant.
December 10th, 2019 at 9:56 PM ^
Very, very sorry to hear that about your Dad. Prayers are the only thing that may help at this stage and Love. Hope you and the family can enjoy the last few months, hopefully years with your Dad and things can be reconciled. Hang tough DB!
December 10th, 2019 at 9:56 PM ^
Ugh sorry dude. We’re here for you when your weak, and your strength will make everyone around you stronger. Prayers bro
December 10th, 2019 at 10:08 PM ^
Thoughts and prayers coming your way!
December 10th, 2019 at 10:09 PM ^
Fuck cancer. Praying for you, him, all. Stay strong.
December 10th, 2019 at 10:26 PM ^
Make the most of every day. I couldn’t with my dad and it still bugs me. Hopefully you can find a way with yours. Very sad to hear where things are, but there’s always hope. Hang on to that and stay as positive as you can.
December 10th, 2019 at 10:52 PM ^
How old is he?
December 11th, 2019 at 7:20 AM ^
Hes 65
December 10th, 2019 at 10:52 PM ^
Sending prayers you and your family's way! Cancer sucks. That battle is tough on all fronts.
December 10th, 2019 at 10:53 PM ^
Sorry to read the negative news, DB. My wife has Stage 4 breast cancer, so I can empathize. She's made it a year so far, and we hope for many more. She, too, has been on an oral chemo for awhile, which we hopes stays effective until the next new drug comes along. Today for her was a quarterly PET scan so we can see how much the cancer has changed since September, either due to or in spite of the toxic chemicals she puts into her body.
If I've learned anything from our past year, it is to cherish every moment that you can, and to spend the rest of our lives together LIVING, rather than focused on the inevitable dying part of life's journey. She's at peace with whatever happens whenever, and I am slowly starting to accept that as well.
So here's hoping that you and dad get as many days together as possible until you don't. Tell him you love him as often as you can and in as many ways as you can. Figure out what you will regret if you don't do it, and then do it, man! Best of luck to you and your dad.
--Ron
December 10th, 2019 at 10:57 PM ^
I’m sorry to hear man. Understandably so, you seem like you have some regret or self-loathing, try to give yourself a break.you seem like you caring and honest person!
its helps me to be embrace my feelings, good or bad. Being mindful truly helps me
hang in there
December 10th, 2019 at 10:58 PM ^
Prayers to you and your family. Your never alone as Jesus is always with us.
December 10th, 2019 at 11:04 PM ^
6 months go by in a blink of an eye. Use this time to talk to your Dad. Say what needs to be said. Say what should be said. You won't have another chance. Listen to what your Dad has to say to you. Let him talk and get out all of his words. Remember, not every moment has to be spoken. Sometimes just being there, sitting with him in silence is enough. Your Dad is proud of you and you have an unspoken bond. Support each other. We support you, our friend in this forum.
December 11th, 2019 at 5:38 AM ^
^^^ This.
I'm so sorry, man.
Please excuse this suggestion, because it's a little pushy. I don't know you, but you've made a few comments about making mistakes, driving people away, etc. It sounds like you don't think much of yourself because of the things you've done. And OK, maybe you have a point. I'll never know.
But using this time to reconnect with your Dad, to let him know what you feel, is more than just a good thing for him. It's a chance for you to get a win, to do something you can be proud of. In years to come, when you think of this time (and you will), you can hang your hat on the fact that you stepped up when it really mattered. This is an incredibly rotten thing to have happen, but there can be some good in it for both of you.
Use the gift of time, no matter how short.
December 11th, 2019 at 11:43 AM ^
This ^^^^^^
I'm choking up as I write this because even after 18 months, it still hits home hard. I lost my dad last July to Sarcoma cancer. Diagnosed in late April, gone July 3rd. Just a little over 2 months is all I had with him. I dont say that to scare you, it's just the reality of cancer. We brought him home from Cleveland Clinic on a Thursday, had to take him back to hospital on Friday due to breathing issues, by Sunday evening he was moved to ICU as the breathing worsened and by Tuesday he was gone.
My biggest regret is not doing more of what RustyCleats said above. To say what needs to be said. We were caught off guard by the quick progression of dad's cancer and didn't get that chance. In his final hours I told him what a great father he was and how I would raise my then 1 month old just how he raised me. I promised I would continue our family insurance business just as he did for 38 years. Promised I would keep our many traditions alive and that he would always be with us. He was heavily sedated at that point and had a breathing machine but I pray he was able to take comfort in my words before he passed. I just regret that he wasn't able to say those same words to us(dad liked to talk!).
Prayers for you brother.
December 10th, 2019 at 11:25 PM ^
Fuck cancer.
Stay strong, man. You have a whole community behind you and your family.
December 10th, 2019 at 11:32 PM ^
Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers this holiday season. It sounds like you have some time to connect with him. Use it. I hope it will be much more time than expected. Stay strong, friend
December 10th, 2019 at 11:45 PM ^
Peace and comfort to your father and yourself in your effort to improve relations with him. Lost my mother to lung CA in 2010 the day after Mother’s Day. Make each day count. You do not know how many you will have. Just being present is important. Reminisce as much as you can about things that are not complicated. Play music that he has always enjoyed. I held my mother’s hand as much as I could. I wish you the best.
December 10th, 2019 at 11:50 PM ^
I'm so sorry. Don't know you at all, but very sorry for your family. I am praying for all of you.
December 10th, 2019 at 11:52 PM ^
Prayers for all of you. Cancer sucks. Thinking of you my friend.
December 10th, 2019 at 11:57 PM ^
Don’t waste any days, brother. You’ve got a window of tremendous opportunity with him.
And you’ve got us. Keep us posted. A dorm-mate once said “Joy shared is joy increased. Pain shared is pain decreased.”
Godspeed, DB.
December 11th, 2019 at 12:34 AM ^
DB. I'm so sorry to hear about the results. I lost my dad last March to alzheimers, he was a shell of the man I knew at the end. The most important thing you have right now is time. Whether it's short or long, spend as much time with him as possible and tell him often how much you love him. It may not be your way, but it's important for him to know now and you to remember later.
I am praying for both of you man. My dad and I rarely saw eye to eye, but sharing feelings good and bad can be good for both of you.
Remember, you are not alone! You have this community and many cancer survivor support groups that can be of great help.
I lost my mom to cancer in 1990 and trying to help wife thru stage 4 liver cancer. We are in this together.
Hang in there.
December 11th, 2019 at 12:41 AM ^
Dude, I’m so sorry.
December 11th, 2019 at 1:42 AM ^
Nothing but love to you and your family DB. We are all brothers. Cherish every moment you get.
December 11th, 2019 at 1:55 AM ^
Just lit a few candles and said prayers for your dad, you, and your family as you go through these times. God bless him, God bless you, and God bless your family.
December 11th, 2019 at 2:21 AM ^
I am praying for you, your dad, your family and all of the doctors, nurses and others who are caring for your dad.
My dad died of cancer 16 years ago...so I empathize with you.
God bless!